Who masturbates ???????????

diddle · Post by **diddle** » Tue Jul 03, 2007 1:25 am

its natural, and thats all there is too it

Aegnor · Post by **Aegnor** » Tue Jul 03, 2007 9:53 am

brekus wrote:

That's not the kind of pussy the author of this thread had in mind.

Minister Masket · Post by **Minister Masket** » Tue Jul 03, 2007 9:58 am

T'is an addiction!!! Exert some self-control you spineless weenies!
Honestly... :roll:

MeDeFe · Post by **MeDeFe** » Tue Jul 03, 2007 2:08 pm

I fear that^ particular kitten will follow us throughout the whole thread from now on, can't someone kill it?

sam_levi_11 · Post by **sam_levi_11** » Tue Jul 03, 2007 2:26 pm

im suprised how many females have joined in- the latest being H2SY.
and the most is 4 times and then i had so i count nthat as 5.5

happy2seeyou · Post by **happy2seeyou** » Tue Jul 03, 2007 2:28 pm

sam_levi_11 wrote:im suprised how many females have joined in- the latest being H2SY.
and the most is 4 times and then i had so i count nthat as 5.5

I have not "joined in", I am just laughing at this thread.

Vincent M · Post by **Vincent M** » Tue Jul 03, 2007 2:28 pm

The Masturbation Song

Its Saturday night and Im alone, Ive made no future plans,
So I sit me down and I pull out the little old Man,
I aint got a girlfriend and I dont have a date,
But thats alright with me coz I love to masturbate

Back in the old days Id buy some magazines, a six pack of beer and a tub of Vaseline,
Penthouse and Hustler were as good as it could get,
But I hit the jackpot when I found the Internet.

Im beating my meat, pounding the pud, yeah Im jacking off!
I got a good grip on my joystick, and it aint Microsoft,
Im flogging my dog, spanking the monkey, aint computers great!
Yeah Ill never leave home coz I love to masturbate!

They got naked men and women, and all kinds of sex galore,
Blondes, brunettes and redheads and Philippine whores,
No matter what youre into, youll find your own dot COM,
Theres even one for old chicks where I think I saw my mum!

Yeah choke the chicken, rub the duck, yeah Im talking low,
I got a good grip on my joystick and I cant let it go,
Row that skin boat, stroke the log, aint computers great!
Yeah Ill never leave home coz I love to masturbate!

They say things like E commerce, with three WWWs and a dot,
They say Its for information, but Im here to say its not,
Now theyre trading it on Wall Street, but they aint fooling me,
Its al just a cover for the porn industry!

And Im shagging my shaft, cleaning my gun, hammering the nail,
Im a cybersex site surfer, with my own email,
Im petting my snake, jacking off, thank you old Bill Gates,
Ill never leave home coz I love to masturbate!
Yeah Ill never leave home coz I love to masturbate!

diddle · Post by **diddle** » Tue Jul 03, 2007 2:29 pm

Vincent M wrote:The Masturbation Song

Its Saturday night and Im alone, Ive made no future plans,
So I sit me down and I pull out the little old Man,
I aint got a girlfriend and I dont have a date,
But thats alright with me coz I love to masturbate

Back in the old days Id buy some magazines, a six pack of beer and a tub of Vaseline,
Penthouse and Hustler were as good as it could get,
But I hit the jackpot when I found the Internet.

Im beating my meat, pounding the pud, yeah Im jacking off!
I got a good grip on my joystick, and it aint Microsoft,
Im flogging my dog, spanking the monkey, aint computers great!
Yeah Ill never leave home coz I love to masturbate!

They got naked men and women, and all kinds of sex galore,
Blondes, brunettes and redheads and Philippine whores,
No matter what youre into, youll find your own dot COM,
Theres even one for old chicks where I think I saw my mum!

Yeah choke the chicken, rub the duck, yeah Im talking low,
I got a good grip on my joystick and I cant let it go,
Row that skin boat, stroke the log, aint computers great!
Yeah Ill never leave home coz I love to masturbate!

They say things like E commerce, with three WWWs and a dot,
They say Its for information, but Im here to say its not,
Now theyre trading it on Wall Street, but they aint fooling me,
Its al just a cover for the porn industry!

And Im shagging my shaft, cleaning my gun, hammering the nail,
Im a cybersex site surfer, with my own email,
Im petting my snake, jacking off, thank you old Bill Gates,
Ill never leave home coz I love to masturbate!
Yeah Ill never leave home coz I love to masturbate!

i so hope you didn't make that up yourself

Vincent M · Post by **Vincent M** » Tue Jul 03, 2007 2:30 pm

diddle wrote:i so hope you didn't make that up yourself

I found it online :wink:

diddle · Post by **diddle** » Tue Jul 03, 2007 2:32 pm

Vincent M wrote:
diddle wrote:i so hope you didn't make that up yourself

I found it online

i find other things online, if you know what i mean :wink:

[size=0]dancing llama's[/size]

b.k. barunt · Post by **b.k. barunt** » Tue Jul 03, 2007 2:48 pm

Hrmm . . . yes . . . i can tell by your avatar that you aspire to a much more sophisticated calling - if you know what i mean.

diddle · Post by **diddle** » Tue Jul 03, 2007 2:53 pm

b.k. barunt wrote:Hrmm . . . yes . . . i can tell by your avatar that you aspire to a much more sophisticated calling - if you know what i mean.

hells yeah

MeDeFe · Post by **MeDeFe** » Tue Jul 03, 2007 3:46 pm

Random fact of the day: Sex on the toilet is good! Whether you're alone or not does not matter.

Hitman079 · Post by **Hitman079** » Tue Jul 03, 2007 4:01 pm

MeDeFe wrote:I fear that^ particular kitten will follow us throughout the whole thread from now on, can't someone kill it?

let's all masturbate simultaneously.

Pain Killer · Post by **Pain Killer** » Tue Jul 03, 2007 5:02 pm

86 % masturbates
13 % doesn't

and the rest of 1% what does it do? :lol:

brekus · Post by **brekus** » Tue Jul 03, 2007 6:01 pm

Pain Killer wrote:86 % masturbates
13 % doesn't

and the rest of 1% what does it do?

Unics.

debra79 · Post by **debra79** » Tue Jul 03, 2007 6:04 pm

brekus wrote:Unics.

I think you'll find the correct spelling is eunuch

brekus · Post by **brekus** » Tue Jul 03, 2007 6:09 pm

debra79 wrote:
brekus wrote:Unics.
I think you'll find the correct spelling is eunuch

Thank you, I figured there would be a special spelling, too lazy to look it up though.

debra79 · Post by **debra79** » Tue Jul 03, 2007 6:16 pm

You're welcome.
I think a more appropriate poll would have been who masturbates on a regular basis, as there aren't many people who can say they have never done it at least once in their lives.

jnd94 · Post by **jnd94** » Tue Jul 03, 2007 6:17 pm

debra79 wrote:You're welcome.
I think a more appropriate poll would have been who masturbates on a regular basis, as there aren't many people who can say they have never done it at least once in their lives.

QFT, I guess Vincent was in a depression when he made this thread....

btownmeggy · Post by **btownmeggy** » Tue Jul 03, 2007 6:22 pm

happy2seeyou wrote:
sam_levi_11 wrote:im suprised how many females have joined in- the latest being H2SY.
and the most is 4 times and then i had so i count nthat as 5.5

I have not "joined in", I am just laughing at this thread.

So you're trying to tell us that you haven't joined in????

happy2seeyou · Post by **happy2seeyou** » Tue Jul 03, 2007 6:32 pm

btownmeggy wrote:
happy2seeyou wrote:
sam_levi_11 wrote:im suprised how many females have joined in- the latest being H2SY.
and the most is 4 times and then i had so i count nthat as 5.5

I have not "joined in", I am just laughing at this thread.

So you're trying to tell us that you haven't joined in????

hahaha, I have no need to "join in". My husband takes care of all that and much more. :wink:

btownmeggy · Post by **btownmeggy** » Tue Jul 03, 2007 6:41 pm

happy2seeyou wrote:
btownmeggy wrote:
happy2seeyou wrote:
sam_levi_11 wrote:im suprised how many females have joined in- the latest being H2SY.
and the most is 4 times and then i had so i count nthat as 5.5

I have not "joined in", I am just laughing at this thread.

So you're trying to tell us that you haven't joined in????

hahaha, I have no need to "join in". My husband takes care of all that and much more.

Hmm. How cryptic.

debra79 · Post by **debra79** » Tue Jul 03, 2007 6:44 pm

Yes, but it also makes it sound like she lies there like a log while her husband does the dirty :wink:

h2sy: what did you do before your husband came on the scene?

Vincent M · Post by **Vincent M** » Tue Jul 03, 2007 8:04 pm

btownmeggy wrote:
happy2seeyou wrote:
btownmeggy wrote:
happy2seeyou wrote:
sam_levi_11 wrote:im suprised how many females have joined in- the latest being H2SY.
and the most is 4 times and then i had so i count nthat as 5.5

I have not "joined in", I am just laughing at this thread.

So you're trying to tell us that you haven't joined in????

hahaha, I have no need to "join in". My husband takes care of all that and much more.

Hmm. How cryptic.

happy we need you to give us some details