CC Dispatch [128] Do You Think He Envisions Scenarios?

[Dukasaur]

Greetings, comrades, and welcome to the 128th running of the Conquer Club Dispatch.

In this issue, the Great Wham comes out with yet another huge new feature! Check out what the Webmonster has in store for you this time. It's bigger than a Whammy Burger, that's for sure!

As the end of the year draws to a close, we all get a little maudlin, and whether you acknowledge Christmas or not, I wish you a very Merry Christmas and all the best in the New Year.

Spoiler

Now a special inside hint: forget milk and cookies -- what Santa likes best is a nice new set of Intensity Cubes left on the mantelpiece! I know I could certainly use some new Intensity Cubes myself after the last couple of weeks.

• I hope that everyone is enjoying the Great War super-event. Soon the event will be three months old, but there are still 47 months to go, so there are a lot more things to be unveiled. In 2014, we began taking you through the battles of 1914. We are a little bit behind schedule with that, but there were very few battles in the first two months of 1915, so we intend to be in real time with those by the end of February 2015.
• The Monthly Challenges forum is this month occupied by a Year-in-Review type of Challenge that DoomYoshi has cooked up, to celebrate all the many changes and challenges this year has seen. This builds on the success of last year's enormously successful Year in Review Challenge, run by sempaispellcheck. A year later, I still can't help saying that was the most fun I've had in my four years on Conquer Club, and I hope you all have just as much fun with this year's event!
• One of the stamps in the Year-in-Review Challenge, stamp 21, is called the Newsletter Prize, and DoomYoshi has left it up to me do decide exactly how this prize should be distributed. We have not one, but TWO (!) different ways you can win the Newsletter Prize and qualify for stamp 21.
  1. You can enter dakky21's Guess This Map contest (Round 9 is below in the Cartographic Survey) and if you score 6 or more points in Round 9 the Newsletter Prize is yours!. Or....
  2. You can enter my Newsletter Critics Contest (further details below.)
• In War Games, iAmCaffeine has once again supplied us with is list of this month's tournament winner. While we are on the subject of tournaments, let me congratulate McShanester29 on his accession the the throne of Tournament Directorship.

Now, without further ado, let us get started with the view from the top....



From the Deck of the Webmonster by bigWham

Spoiler

Greetings from The Deck Of The Webmonster.

*On The Club Dancefloor*

Heading into the heart of the silly season there is a lot going on. A Passport Challenge that is shaping up to be very exciting, a Chat Event that is about to launch for site-wide frolics, a mystery Christmas event that will sneak up on us through the Club Chimney...

...all while the Conquer Club Olympics is drawing to a screamingly tight finish!!

After 198 Tournaments, at the time of writing, just a few points separate the United States from Brazil on our first ever country-based scoreboard! Meanwhile the fantastically named Fédération Conquer Club de Football Polymorphic has shown their skills extend to more than playing soccer with 8 balls. And on the individual side it looks like frontrunner Endgame422 might have Olympics glory sewn up for 2014.

*A Taste of Future Things*




*Random Feature Special*

Did you know there was a page where you can get a snapshot of the most exciting tournament games happening (where 'most exciting' is determined by some demented boffin reclining on a cloud with a busted-up abacus)?

Featured Tournament Games

Guess the Map -- Round 9 by dakky21

Spoiler

.
If you score 6 points or better in this Round, you will win the Newsletter Prize (stamp 21 in the Year-in-Review Challenge!

This round comes with another surprise! One map is taken from the Map Foundry, which means it's not yet released, and you'll have to look into forums to find it! In this ninth instalment, the difficulty is GOOD LUCK!

Note that in Round 10 of this contest, I won't say which slice is from the Map Foundry.




In this contest, you will identify Conquer Club maps by small samples extracted from them. Look in the circles, see if you can spot what map that image is extracted from, and PM to dakky21. There will be 10 rounds with 9 images each, for a maximum score of 90. The images will gradually become more difficult as the issues move on.

• You must PM your answers to dakky21. Please do not answer by posting in the thread or PMing to anyone else. Only answers sent to dakky21 will be official.
• Answers to each issue's quiz must be sent within ten days after the actual publication date.
• Minor typos will be overlooked. If you mean "Jamaica" and you type "Jamiaca" that's fine. HOWEVER, we are not finishing your thought for you: there is both a Baltic States and a Baltic Crusades. If you just type "Baltic" that is a WRONG answer, because it would require us to finish the thought and decide between Crusades and States.
• Points will be cumulative over the 10 issues.
• Depending on interest, the 10th round may carry bonus images and/or bonus points.
• In case of a tie at the end of the contest, dakky21 will PM a supplementary tiebreaking list of extremely difficult images.
• Please format your answers as follows:Number dot space Name of Map
  (Example:
  • 1. Jamaica
    2. USA
    3. Austerlitz

Prizes:

• First place 2000 credits
• Second place 1000 credits
• Third place 625 credits
• Top five contestants get a GA medal.
• To qualify for any of the above prizes, you must score at least 35 points over the course of the contest.
• If and only if we get 25 or more contestants, we will have a random draw for a 6th GA medal.
• If and only if we get 75 or more contestants, the top player will get a Challenge Medal in addition to other prizes.
  Editor's note: we got the 75 in our first installment!
• Every issue the top contestant will get one or more Conquer Stars. Just like everything else about the stars, this is shrouded in mystery, so there's no telling what kind of star you will get! Drab? Auburn? Pink? A box of 50 Auburns? Wouldn't you like to know? This star prize can only be won once, so if you win it in week 1 and you are the top contestant in week 2 again, the prize in week 2 will go to the second place contestant, and so on down the list.

(NOTE #1: slice 6 can be found in the Map Foundry)
(NOTE #1: slices 7 & 8 are ROTATED in the way shown!!!!)
(NOTE #2: slice 9 IS COLOR SHIFTED/CHANGED - it's not rotated, but colors may be as shown above)

Round 8 answers:
1. Rorke's Drift
2. Vertex
3. Route 66
4. Iberia
5. North America
6. Holy Roman Empire
7. Puget Sound
8. Macedonia
9. Haiti

Standings after Round 8:
1. Flow520 72
2. ooge 72
3. Ffraid 72
4. cooldeals 72
5. jonofperu 72
6. Serbia 72
7. lokisgal 72
8. grt 72
9. Winged Cat 72
10. Tripitaka 72
11. Swifte 72
12. Bruceswar 72
13. jackal31 71
14. Mad777 71
15. rjhankey 58
16. BuJaber 54
17. csiguy79 54
18. plurple 54
19. sempaispellcheck 53
20. Cynther 51
21. GioDuce 43
22. Gabriel13 36
23. SiriusCowKing 36
24. MoB Deadly 36
25. TercioValencia 36
26. DaveH 36
27. osman76 36
28. Garbi 35
29. EdwinG 34
30. CatchersMitt14 31
31. TheFlashPoint 27
32. RedBaron0 27
33. umbrellaman 27
34. anamainiacks 27
35. Koganosi 27
36. Killer4 27
37. Gilligan 27
38. JamesKer1 25
39. Kinnison 18
40. skillfusniper33 18
41. chapcrap 18
42. DoomYoshi 18
43. ztodd 18
44. lilice 18
45. StorrZerg 18
46. benga 18
47. Phiba 18
48. stealth99 18
49. codierose 18
50. jak111 18
51. ISN2 17
52. redspyder 17
53. iAmCaffeine 17
54. IcePack 17
55. merch313 16
56. elonpuckhog 15
57. hopalong 14
58. regan the great 9
59. TeeGee 9
60. nietzsche 9
61. Serreski 9
62. Metricsystemlove 9
63. agentcom 9
64. ckyrias 9
65. dgz345 9
66. AslanTheKing 9
67. big-bad 9
68. Arya 9
69. trinicardinal 9
70. Nicholasflak 8
71. Ukey 8
72. goldenwarrior 8
73. t4mcr53s2 8
74. TheTrueNorth 8
75. suzieq51 8
76. sonicspeed 7

The Dispatch Critics Contest by Dukasaur

Spoiler

The Dispatch Critics Contest has both an easy option for those who just want to get stamp 21 and get back out to the playground (the type of people who took Sociology in grade 12) and a harder option for those who want to show off their brain pans.

The basic option: Choose one article in this issue of the Dispatch or any previous issue. Yes, any previous issue of the Conquer Club Dispatch, right back to Number 1 in January of 2009. You could even go back farther and pick something out of the CC News or out of Gozar's newsletter, if you really want, and I would accept it. There's a catch -- each article can only be chosen by one person.

Once you've chosen your article, post in the thread for THIS issue, giving the title, author, and issue number of the article you've chosen. Then, write one sentence describing why you find that article interestings. That's it, that's all. Just name, author, issue number, and one little sentence about it. Pretty simple, huh? That's all it takes for the Newsletter Prize.

However, if you want to turn this into something more challenging, I have some more prizes for you. If you want to write a critique of the article that is more than just a one liner, I will consider you for the Critic's Award. The Critic's Award will have prizes for the three best critiques. To qualify for this prize, your critique must be well-written (yes, spelling, grammar, and punctuation count) and must actually have something intelligent to say about the article.

First place: One yellow conquer star, one General Achievement medal, and 300 credits. NOTE: I reserve the right to not award first prize at all if I don't think any of the entries deserve it. If I'm only given half-assed efforts to choose from, I will award only second and third prize and no first prize at all.
Second place: One pink conquer star, one General Achievement medal, and 150 credits.
Third place: One cyan conquer star, one General Achievement medal, and 75 credits.

Special Citation: One General Achievement medal will be awarded for the entry (regardless of whether it qualifies under the above criteria or not) which surprises me the most with something I didn't know. At one time or another I've read pretty much everything ever written in the Dispatch, but I may have missed something here and there, and there's lots that I've forgotten. So, surprise me, teach me something interesting that I've forgotten or never knew to begin with, and the GA may be yours.

I will also hand out (at my sole discretion) some orange conquer stars for brave attempts that don't quite make it.

Tournament Winners Update: November '14 by iAmCaffeine

Spoiler

• August Challenge Companion 1 won by andypl0nd0n
• b00060's Poly Tournament VII - Lux won by Risk_Killer_1
• Arms Poly Pirates and Merchants won by djelebert
• MC's List of Maps 1 vs 1 - Monsters won by nolefan5311
• US Open Cup 2014 won by Seamus76
• Double Doodle League won by jltile1 & Slaylark
• The 2014 Champions League won by gubarretto
• b00060's Poly Tournament II - Lux won by dhud101
• Bracketology - Middle East won by aalii
• June Challenge Companion III won by dana1971
• CC Olympics -- Greco-Roman Wrestling won by dazza2008
• I'll Make You Hate This Map: CCU won by Danmax
• It's A Knockout!!! France won by seamusk
• b00060's Poly Tournament III - Dust Bowl won by b00060
• Climb the Ladder II: Doodle Earth won by Ratrin
• Bet's fast&simple Eurasia mini2 won by Dukasaur
• September Challenge Companion won by jonofperu
• b00060's Poly Tournament I - Doodle won by MyTurnToWin
• Glacier Alley 3 won by Jurasu
• Bracketology - British Isles won by aalii
• MC's Tenacious Tiddlywinks (CC Olympics) won by josko.ri
• Bracketology - Africa won by ElricTheGreat
• Bracketology - Indochina won by Loose Canon
• Bracketology - Far East won by carp1968
• Bracketology - Crossword won by musicalmaven

Players Who Performed Exceptionally (Wins)

• aalii (2)

Congratulations to all that have won tournaments this month, thank you to all those who have organised tournaments, and good luck to all next month!

.

[Dukasaur]

Actual publication date Monday, December 15th @0310.

[grt]

My Critic Review

CC Dispatch [Issue 120]. Guess the Map -- Round 1 by dakky21

Without doubt this article was the first that came to mind. It was the first time I really became involved in a Conquer Club event and there was an air of excitement around this competition. Personally, I am fascinated by maps and love puzzles - so this was a perfect combination. Three words to best describe my feelings at the time of reading "intriguing, enthralling and refreshing". Good job dakky21

[Leehar]

The images don't load for me for some reason
could someone take a snap?
http://www.darjan.net/razno/cc-gtm/r9-xxl.jpg

[Dukasaur]

The images don't load for me for some reason
could someone take a snap?
http://www.darjan.net/razno/cc-gtm/r9-xxl.jpg

I took a screenshot for you, and here it is, but you'll probably suffer a loss in image quality. It's probably best if you clear your cache or whatever you need to do to make the original image pop up. Still, here goes:

Click image to enlarge.

[ooge]

A post for a post

[josko.ri]

My Critic Review

CC Dispatch [Issue 55: 21-09-2011] Who's Forgiven? by safariguy5

When Master Fenrir had contacted me for being interviewed for his Newsletter column called "Hardballs", I was greatly honored. I consider the column the best ever on CC (at least for Clan section of Newsletter), because Master Fenrir has been doing it with a great courage, humor and intelligence. Reading his columns was always a nice rest for my brain channels with a great dose of humor involved within it. I have always admired his writing style.
In the Dispatch 55, the interview with me was published, and (surprisingly for me) it was contained not only of my answers but also about introduction part written by Master Fenrir. The introduction was written in amazingly well spoken and accurate way, thus making the Newsletter Issue 55 the most memorable for me up to date.

[King Tet]

"Hayesez, Whac-a-Mod, and Contests" by Dukasaur. Issue #117.
I was very excited about this article, as it announced the return of the "Whac-a-Mod", one of my favourite contests on CC. I've managed to Whac one each time so far, and always look forward to it!

[SilverWill]

My Critic Review:

CC Dispatch [Issue 114: 08-04-2014] SoC Graduate Grilling - Janomike and doublediamond by macbone

For me this was probably the first article on CC that I actually stopped for a few minutes and looked at. It shows that CC wants to take the time to work with each of their members and give them the opportunity to improve both as a free player and one that spends money. I looked in to the SoC a while ago and saw quite a few players signing up and not all were cadets and cooks but even some players that had a higher rank then I did and been on the site for years. Just goes to show that everyone can learn something if they put their mind to it. Of course, the one drawback is the long wait due to the number of people wanting to get into the program and the lack of mentors for the players that sign up (part of the reason I haven't signed up for it so I have figured out other ways to learn new strategies) but even though there is a bit of a wait, the players that come out of the class seem to have much more confidence in their gameplay then when they first started. In the end, that's much more important since it takes people like Janomike and doublediamond who want to learn and advance in the games to keep this site a fun and competitive place and also people like macbone and MudPuppy that wish to help people to learn and to encourage them to succeed when they might not normally try to. All I can say is: Keep up the good work!

[Mad777]

I did like this article about the Guess the map contest, dakky21 puts a lot of effort into that one looking for THE map shot no one will be able to found . (still not the case with 12 contestants having all good answer after 8 rounds)

From:

CC Dispatch [Issue 120] Two Contests, Mafia Back, UI Update

Guess the Map -- Round 1 by dakky21

A new contest begins!

Image
In this contest, you will identify Conquer Club maps by small samples extracted from them. Look in the circles, see if you can spot what map that image is extracted from, and PM to dakky21. There will be 10 rounds with 9 images each, for a maximum score of 90. The images will gradually become more difficult as the issues move on.

You must PM your answers to dakky21. Please do not answer by posting in the thread or PMing to anyone else. Only answers sent to dakky21 will be official.
Answers to each issue's quiz must be sent before the next issue is published. The Dispatch schedule is roughly once every two weeks, but it varies quite a bit from that, and we will not be responsible for meeting any specific dates. Therefore, please don't dilly-dally: send your answers to dakky as soon as you can!
Minor typos will be overlooked. If you mean "Jamaica" and you type "Jamiaca" that's fine. HOWEVER, we are not finishing your thought for you: there is both a Baltic States and a Baltic Crusades. If you just type "Baltic" that is a WRONG answer, because it would require us to finish the thought and decide between Crusades and States.
Points will be cumulative over the 10 issues.
Depending on interest, the 10th round may carry bonus images and/or bonus points.
In case of a tie at the end of the contest, dakky21 will PM a supplementary tiebreaking list of extremely difficult images.
Please format your answers as follows:Number dot space Name of Map
(Example:
1. Jamaica
2. USA
3. Austerlitz
Prizes:
First place 2000 credits
Second place 1000 credits
Third place 625 credits
Top five contestants get a GA medal.
To qualify for any of the above prizes, you must score at least 35 points over the course of the contest.
If and only if we get 25 or more contestants, we will have a random draw for a 6th GA medal.
If and only if we get 75 or more contestants, the top player will get a Challenge Medal in addition to other prizes.
Every issue the top contestant will get one or more Conquer Stars. Just like everything else about the stars, this is shrouded in mystery, so there's no telling what kind of star you will get! Drab? Auburn? Pink? A box of 50 Auburns? Wouldn't you like to know? This star prize can only be won once, so if you win it in week 1 and you are the top contestant in week 2 again, the prize in week 2 will go to the second place contestant, and so on down the list.

[Bart-Jan]

My critics

CC Dispatch [Issue 128 16-10-13] Guess the Map -- Round 9 by dakky21

I chose this 'Guess the Map' contest just because it was in the current CC Dispatch, but my comment is about the contest in general. Basically I think it too difficult. I gave it a couple of tries, the first time it was published and somewhere after that as well. Even today I tried to solve the puzzle. It might be just me, being too impatient, but I only managed to find two. I know there are plenty of people who are in fact able to find all 9, so the problem must be with me, but still I think it is a bit too difficult.

[dakky21]

CC Dispatch [Issue 128 16-10-13] Guess the Map -- Round 9 by dakky21

I chose this 'Guess the Map' contest just because it was in the current CC Dispatch, but my comment is about the contest in general. Basically I think it too difficult. I gave it a couple of tries, the first time it was published and somewhere after that as well. Even today I tried to solve the puzzle. It might be just me, being too impatient, but I only managed to find two. I know there are plenty of people who are in fact able to find all 9, so the problem must be with me, but still I think it is a bit too difficult.

If the difficulty was lower, we'd now have all players tied, and the contest would never end. It had to be difficult, though, first few rounds were really easy.

I did like this article about the Guess the map contest, dakky21 puts a lot of effort into that one looking for THE map shot no one will be able to found . (still not the case with 12 contestants having all good answer after 8 rounds)

Thanks for support

My Critic Review

CC Dispatch [Issue 120]. Guess the Map -- Round 1 by dakky21

Without doubt this article was the first that came to mind. It was the first time I really became involved in a Conquer Club event and there was an air of excitement around this competition. Personally, I am fascinated by maps and love puzzles - so this was a perfect combination. Three words to best describe my feelings at the time of reading "intriguing, enthralling and refreshing". Good job dakky21

Thanks to you too for playing and keeping the contest alive!

The images don't load for me for some reason
could someone take a snap?

Leehar, have a copy from imgur:

[harvmax]

okay I just want the stamp lol. Here goes: Article Title: Interrogation room Author: Nagerous issue #: 40 No "Lack" of Holiday Cheer. 23-Dec.-2010
The reason I enjoyed this issue was the interview with our founder the infamous lackattack, gone but not forgotten.

[WOLFZ71]

Wow i often don't have time to look at the dispatch but this month is very interesting i like this *A Taste of Future Things* with scenarios. i can't wait to hear more about this.

Wolf

[Silly Knig-it]

http://www.conquerclub.com/forum/viewto ... 7#p3917517
McBone (spelling is as in the newsletter)

I chose this because I had been invited to SOC instructor training. I was not then in a position to accept but this marked my point of getting involved in cc on a greater level than just playing. So to learn about one of the senior instructors was very valuable to me.

[sempaispellcheck]

From CC News [Issue 19: 25-10-09] (because 19 is my favorite number):
"A Newt's Tale" by elfish_lad

In this article, elfish_lad (or the Newt, as he was apparently called in those days, for a reason which was unknown to me until nagerous helpfully pointed it out) put a hilarious Canadian spin on a tale so many of us know all too well - the turn that goes from "Aw yeah!" to "Aw crap." in a matter of seconds.
He opens by comparing himself and the reader to a none-too-swift character in a "made for Television, Funded by Arts Canada, C Grade Horror Movie," who opens a door he should have known not to open and is repeatedly stabbed in the forehead for his trouble.
As his turn goes from "Oh yeah! I'm on a roll! No one can stop me now!" to "...wait. Where'd all my troops go?" he narrates his thought process as a one-sided dialogue with the famous and all-too-often ignored Voice of Reason, linking back to his opening metaphor with the line "How did this knife get stuck in my forehead anyway?!?!”
He describes his meteoric rise and terrifying fall through the ranks from the perspective of a young boy on a metal slide in short shorts in summer. Ouch.
Finally, on a less personal note, he tells the (probably exaggerated, at the very least) story of a coworker who ended up losing her house to a coffee habit.

I LOVED this article. elfish_lad put a very humorous spin on the age-old lesson that many players (including myself) don't ever seem to be able to learn: "Quit while you're ahead." Now, I don't think he meant it in the sense of quitting CC entirely, of course (though it's not an unreasonable interpretation) – just in the sense of learning to end your assaults while you still have some troops to defend with.
But the best part of this article, for me, wasn't even the humor. No, what really made me love this article was that it was relatable and written in a sympathetic tone. Here's a player, writing almost a year before I joined, who may as well have been talking directly to me. He's saying: "You're not the only one – I do it, too, and there are plenty more just like us."
In that tone, the closing admission that he was just going to go right back to what he'd been doing made you laugh and made you feel for him, all at the same time.

sempai

[hwhrhett]

uncle bogan's cookery nook - issue 123 - bogangod

I like this article because it has nothing to do with the site, and I find it amusing, also food is delicious.

[Jdsizzleslice]

Tournament Tips - by DaveH - Issue 70 CC Newsletter

I enjoyed this article because it shows common players who are looking to create a tournament some useful tips to become a tournament making master!

[thelord]

Issue 13 gozarThe Tournament Roll of Honour
Here are some recent tournament winners.

”Point Grabbers Quadruples Edition” -barterer2002, Bones2484, Rogue Warrior, Jetpac
”Escalating Classic Tournament”- freyme
”Davis Cup”- qwert and Natewolfman
”’You’re Eliminated’ V”- BaldAdonis
”Can U Rule the World?”- acores2005
”Cairns Coral Coast Masters: Division 2”- Jay513
”Cairns Coral Coast Masters: Division 3”- Zemljanin
”Yanks vs Rebs”- V.I. and jiminski
”Feudal Wars Singles Tournament”- JCsolidrock
”Who Rules The House?”- Godd
”NHL League”- Clive
”North America vs. Europe vs. The World”- negoeien
”Going Down Under Tournament”- ^MsCarolyn^o

I went for the semi random approach. Issue 13 as it is vaguely unlucky. Also can not be scored with two intensity cubes. Article as I do not recognize a single name on the list as still playing! #Stampmeup

[hopalong]

my fave issue hasnt come out yet - it will be the one where we finally git the answers to the interrogations of josko and bogan ... maybe a double issue?!? a boy can dream.

i actually enjoy the interrogations the most out of all issues - seeing people's questions, the fights that nearly break out, and the wit people bring to their answers is top notch.

[mookiemcgee]

My Critical Review

CC Dispatch [Issue 115] Easter Eggstravaganza

I joined CC a little over a year ago, for the first 4-5 months of playing I wasn't really interacting with anyone outside of game chat. One day a guy I now know of by two names; TheCrown and Randall, invited me to play a few games with him. He asked me if I wanted to tryout playing in a Clan... I thought oh heck why not and so I was introduced to the Forum. I started to play CC more often and consistently, and then TheCrown said he was making a run at the Easter challenge and if I wanted to play a bunch of games with him it could be fun. This was one of my most positive experiences on CC to date and really got me interested in the Newsletter and made me aware of the Monthly challenges of which I have played in almost all of them since.

Thanks for another great challenge CC leadership! Sorry this wasn't for of a review of the writing, just my most relevant experience to write about.

Please Stamp my A**!

[stealth99]

I am writing on an article from Issue 27. It was dated March 17, 2010. The secret of dice by natty_dread.

I was inspired to chat about this article because of your "hidden" complaint on your dice results over the last two weeks. You referred to them as "Intensity Cubes" so I searched for an article that dealt with exactly that, "Intensity Cubes". I did not have to read past the first line of this article to know I had come to the right place. Here it is:

A lot of discussion has arisen lately on the integrity of the intensity cubes...

This article is worth reading. I'll post it at the end of my critique.

In the article, the author very boldly tackles the age old problem of DICE, more specifically, BAD DICE. This subject never goes away. In fact, it doesn't even matter if I am on a different web site playing a different game. I can be playing poker on one of the poker sites and I will still hear the guy across from me complain about his run of luck. he will curse the site and make claims about the game being being rigged. The sad thing is that he believes what he spews. We have our share of those players here at CC. Why is this?

The author attempts to answer this question through a very humorous and professionally written piece that explores the actual source of our dice, Random.org.

What exactly do you study or evaluate, if there is a "perception" of unfair dice? The author of the article chose to investigate the source of the dice and to gain a better understanding of the factors involved, so he could determine if they were fair or not.

I would have considered a simple statistical study. That's what I did at my favorite poker site when I felt that I was being ganged up on by lady luck. I spent hours and hours over a period of 3 months, gathering data and evaluating data, only to discover that the numbers were bang on, right where they were supposed to be.

Instead of using statistical studies to solve this problem, perhaps we'd be better off studying human behavior. I know that I see player after player getting beat in a poker game and lash out blaming another player at the table for his loss (ignorant and factually incorrect). When we are beaten, we want someone to blame. It makes us feel better. We can handle losing provided we make it clear that, "it wasn't my fault". We want to feel like a victim. The last thing we want is to admit that we simply got beaten. The reverse is also true. When we have good luck, we want to believe that we are playing well. We are much more likely to notice bad luck than we are likely to notice good luck for those very reasons. Therefore, the last person you should ever ask about the fairness of dice, is a CC player experiencing a run of bad luck.

One other factor that seems to convince people that the dice are "off" is Oddities. Rolling eight of the same number in a row. Killing 12 troops without taking a single loss. Losing a 13v2 attack. Those things drive us nuts when they go against us but we allow it to roll off our backs when the luck is riding good. What is amusing about this common misunderstanding, is that statistically speaking, we should become concerned when these oddities disappear. Given the number of rolls we take here at CC versus our Real Life games from the past, in some cases thousands of times more here at CC, it stands to reason that we will see many more oddities. When you have a 99% chance of winning, you will indeed lose that one game out of a hundred. You will play enough here to see it occur and when it does occur, it won't be a miracle and the world won't be coming to an end! Those Intensity Cubes are working just fine here at CC.

ARTICLE BY natty_dread

A lot of discussion has arisen lately on the integrity of the intensity cubes, aka. dice. By "a lot" I mean a lot even by CC standards. Threads of dice complaints seem to be popping up like mushrooms in rain. General discussions is so full of them, that some are spilling over to Q&A.

What causes this sudden uproar of disgruntled dice rollers? Are the intensity cubes truly flawed, or is an unusually large portion of CC having mental PMS? The most vocal of the complainers are even threatening to quit CC over their dice troubles.

I set out to investigate the matter. It seems that dice complaint threads have been posted on CC ever since CC started. By searching the keywords "dice + complaint" one can find 256 matches, the first one of them from February 2006... that's one month after CC launched!

So obviously, this phenomenon is nothing new. So if the dice have been "flawed" for the whole existence of Conquer Club, how come we still have members? My next stop was random.org, from where CC acquires the numbers on our cubes. I read their website to find out how exactly our random numbers are produced:

Random.ORG wrote:Regardless of which physical phenomenon is used, the process of generating true random numbers involves identifying little, unpredictable changes in the data. For example, HotBits uses little variations in the delay between occurrences of radioactive decay, and RANDOM.ORG uses little variations in the amplitude of atmospheric noise.



So, atmospheric noise. What is atmospheric noise you may ask? Well, Wikipedia has the following to say on the matter:

Wikipedia wrote:Atmospheric noise is radio noise caused by natural atmospheric processes, primarily lightning discharges in thunderstorms.



So let me get this straight. Our dice rolls are dependent on the weather? Should I stop playing when it rains? Do I get more sixes when it snows??

Again I dug around at Random.ORG.

Random.ORG wrote:You could argue that the atmospheric noise used as a source for the RANDOM.ORG numbers can be viewed as a chaotic but deterministic system. Hence, if you knew enough about the processes that cause atmospheric noise (e.g., thunderstorms) you could potentially predict the numbers generated by RANDOM.ORG.

However, to do this, you would probably need knowledge of the position and velocity of every single molecule in the planet's weather systems. This is of course infeasible, and the inaccuracy of weather forecasts is a good example of how difficult it is to give even a rough estimate of the behaviour of weather systems.



Well. It seems cheating Random.ORG at least is largely impossible. Unless you can control the weather.

But the question remains, why do some people perceive their dice to be unrealistic or unfair? Is it just a matter of perspective? Do these players play in the wrong weather?

I started digging around in the old dice threads. Some of the stuff you find is kinda funny... look at this for example:

lackattack in an old dice thread at 2006 wrote:There was a problem for 2 hours between 16-Feb-2006 19:46:30 and 16-Feb-2006 21:48:29 (Montreal time) where the dice ran out and everyone rolled zeroes, which really sucked. I fixed that problem and I apologize for it.



Wow, that must have been a sight. I wish I had been around to see it... but not the shitstorm that undoubtedly resulted from it.

But apart from funny anecdotes, the complaints seemed to be the same in the past as they are in the present.

a dice complainer, 2006 wrote:I just lost a 13 to 2.



a dice complainer, 2010 wrote:I just lost a 9 to 1.



Personally, I do understand where the dice complainers are coming from. I have often posted vulgarities in game chat myself, after losing an assault that should have been a walk-through (and sometimes losing the game as a result). It may get frustrating, but the opposite side has a point as well: it is largely a matter of perception. Some people expect the dice to behave in a certain way, and when they do not behave as they expect they conclude that the dice are flawed in some way. But then, that fits the definition of random too: unpredictability.

This reminds me of an Arab proverb: "The dogs bark but the caravan moves on." Despite all the dice complaints, Conquer Club seems to be alive and well. Like they say, there have always been dice complaints, and there always will be. Maybe some people quit because of perceived "unfairness" of dice, but the member base of CC still seems to be in a steady growth.

I think we should all just loosen up a bit. Let's all spend the day losing points to our unfair dice, and laugh while we do. Let us learn how to enjoy losing as much as we enjoy winning. Hey, if the dice are raping your mind, take two steps back from the computer, go make sweet love to your special someone, and come back on a better weather...

[t4mcr53s2]

stealth gets my vote, ...

of course, its one Man , one vote, and since Dukasaur's the Man , he gets the vote

(a was of the finger and tip of the hat to T.P.)

[-Maximus-]

"Hayesez, Whac-a-Mod, and Contests" by Dukasaur. Issue #117.

Whac-a-Mod is one of the best contests on CC, we might even get a medal before the next one starts.

[the warrior65]

CC Dispatch [Issue 92: 1-4-2013] Ribbit by thehippo8

I dont read the dispatch before this issue.

I remember that the first issue I read this one was.

Please stamp me