CC Dispatch [Issue 116] Jigs and Babbles and Bengas oh boy!

[Dukasaur]

Welcome back, my friends, to the show that never ends!

We have come at last to the 116th running of the CC Dispatch!

In this issue, I welcome you to the long-awaited Jig's Fantasy Draft Event. The complete description of this event is reproduced below in our Platoon Report. I hope you are excited about participating in this ground-breaking event. Former Platoon Report editor, and current Lord of the Clans Leehar has returned for a special guest appearance in this issue.

We also have our regular War Games feature section. Special thanks to DaveH and his tournament team for their reliable and prompt reportage!!! And congrats to the TDs on the launch of the TPA4 scoreboard!

Last but oh-so-far-from-least, we have our Interrogation of Benga, the clan mastermind who has made the whole CC world tremble at the mention of Croatia! In our next issue, we will be interrogating hayesez, one of the quiet ones that you have to watch, someone who has made it up the scoreboard to the Number 2 position without any big public hullabaloo.



To those of us who love the forums, the most important regular rite of Conquer Club is the periodic re-naming of the Off-Topics Forum. The longest-running name of all ("Whose Forum Is It, Anyway?") ended its unprecedented 11-month run and was finally replaced with "Babble-On Five" on April 28th.

The author of the new name is MudPuppy, who won the right to name the forum as a result of his incredible performance in the Great Easter Bunny Debate.

list of the names of off topics

DoomYoshi has declared himself the archivist of the forum and has compiled the following list: Subject: List of Forum Names

1. Off-Topic Topics (somewhere around inception)*
2. Social Lounge (Jul 26-29, 2006- Aug 30, 2006) 36-39 days
3. The Romper Room (Aug 30, 2006 - Sep 2006) ~30 days
4. The Water Cooler (October 2006) ~31 days
5. The Village Voice (Nov 2006) ~30 days
6. The Mess Hall (Dec 2006) ~60 days
7. Social Lounge II (Feb 1, 2007 - May 24, 2007) 113 days*
8. Funny Farm (May 24, 2007 - Jul 10, 2007) 48 days
9. The Clubhouse (Jul 10, 2007 - Nov 28, 2007) 142 days*
10. Intelleegent Konversation (Nov 28, 2007 - Apr 1, 2008) 127 days
11. This Forum No Longer Exists (Apr 1, 2008) 1 day
12. Chatter Box (Apr 2, 2008 - Sep 1(or 2),2008) 153 days*
13. The (not yet) Banned (Sep 1, 2008 - Nov 26, 2008) 87 days
14. The Tower of Babble (Nov 26, 2008 - Late February 2009) 95 days
15. Much Ado About Nothing (Late February 2009 - June 29, 2009) 122 days
16. Turtle Soup (June 29 - Oct 30, 2009) 124 days
17. Monkey Business (Oct 30, 2009 - Apr 30, 2010) 183 days
18. Bumpage (Apr 30 - 2010 - Aug 30, 2010) 123 days
19. Serious Interwebz Business (Aug 30, 2010 - Jan 17, 2011) 141 days
20. The Forum That Shall Not Be Named (Jan 17, 2011 - Jun 2, 2011) 137 days
21. Schrödinger's Catbox (Jun 2, 2011 - Oct 19, 2011) 140 days
22. Davy Jones Locker (Oct 19, 2011 - Feb 1, 2012) 106 days
23. Atmospheric Noise (Feb 1, 2012 - May 1, 2012) 91 days
24. Where the Wild Things Are (May 1, 2012 - Oct 13, 2012) 166 days
25. Ad Hominem (Oct 13, 2012 - Jan 21, 2013) 101 days
26. One Does Not Simply Walk Into The Forums (Jan 21, 2013 - June 7th, 2013) 138 days
27. Whose Forum Is It, Anyway? (Jun 7, 2013 - Oct 24th, 2013) 140 days
28. 400 Stale Jokes from wicked`s Time Oct 25th and 26th, 2013 2 days
29. Whose Forum Is It, Anyway? (Jun 7, 2013 - Oct 24th, 2013; Oct 26th, 2013 - April 27th, 2014)325 days(185 days)
30. Babble-On Five (April 28th, 2014) 1 day and counting

Hundred Day Club by Length:

1. Whose Forum Is It, Anyway? (Jun 7, 2013 - Oct 24, 2013) 325 days
2. Monkey Business (Oct 30, 2009 - Apr 30, 2010) 183 days
3. Where the Wild Things Are (May 1, 2012 - Oct 13, 2012) 166 days
4. Chatter Box (Apr 2, 2008 - Sep 1(or 2),2008) 153 days*
5. The Clubhouse (Jul 10, 2007 - Nov 28, 2007) 142 days*
6. Serious Interwebz Business (Aug 30, 2010 - Jan 17, 2011) 141 days
7. Schrödinger's Catbox (Jun 2, 2011 - Oct 19, 2011) 140 days
8. One Does Not Simply Walk Into The Forums (Jan 21, 2013 - June 7th, 2013) 138 days
9. The Forum That Shall Not Be Named (Jan 17, 2011 - Jun 2, 2011) 137 days
10. Turtle Soup (June 29 - Oct 30, 2009) 124 days
11. Bumpage (Apr 30 - 2010 - Aug 30, 2010) 123 days
12. Much Ado About Nothing (Late February 2009 - June 29, 2009) 122 days
13. Social Lounge II (Feb 1, 2007 - May 24, 2007) 113 days*

* denotes a forum name that at one point was the record holder for longest name (discounting the earlier ones since accurate dates are hard to come by).
underline denotes the current record holder

There are a lot of behind-the-scenes improvements to Conquer Club that don't lend themselves to big splashy announcements like we were blessed with in January and February. The emphasis in the last month has been on technical improvements to the game engine and the forum, resolving the long-standing lag problems, hunting down some nasty bugs, and minor tweaks of existing features. Most people have been finding the lag problems much reduced in the last couple of weeks, and some bugs have been hunted down and killed. None of this is particularly exciting to write about, but it is important.

The leading event right now is the May Challenge. This challenge focuses on the 13 Colonies map.

The Quebec Act of May 20, 1774 was an attempt by England to halt the expansion of the 13 colonies westward by awarding those territories to Quebec. You will need strategy and diplomacy to get through the main repercussions of this Act - the American Revolutionary War.

[Swifte]

Welcome to another edition of the Platoon Report, where we seek to bring you the latest happenings in the clan world here on Conquer Club!

Swifte is busy celebrating an increase in the size of his R/L clan, so Leehar is here to bring you the online Clan news.

Clan League 6 is now underway, with week 1 of the Qualifying Round already commencing as we go to print.
As always with any competition, we have the requisite group of death, with Group 2 taking the honours in this years event.
Premier League Champions Kort entertain Second League Runners-up OSA & Third League Runners-up HH (coincidentally these clans competed together in CL5 QG6 as well)
We also have Legion (ranked 8th in the last year on the F400), Pheonix (merger of Dynasty & TFFS) as well as much-vaunted FISO rounding off the line-up.
You can catch all the latest from CL6 here

Sign-ups have also closed for the latest Conquerors Cup.
Drawings are currently under-way for CC5, and you can catch the latest bracket as it is updated here

Simultaneously, CC4 semi-finals are still underway with the top 2 clans on CC at the moment duking it out for the win, as well as top spot on the F400 Ranking.
Clan heavy-weight KORT are already awaiting the victor in the Cup Final!
Will the defending champion TOFU triumph, or Random League, Random League Cup & 1v1 championship winners ACE take this to a tiebreaker?
Catch all the latest action here

Leehar
Clan Director

Jig's Fantasy Draft Event by jigger1986

Spoiler

Greetings CC clan, tournament, event and medal enthusiast!

I am happy to finally announce in the CC Dispatch the introduction of this event, the first one (that I know of) of its kind in CC history!
This introduction will be long and for that I apologize, there is a lot of information to get out. In fact the commitment needed to take part in the event will likely be less weekly than the time it takes to read and understand the event (sorry about that!)
The original thread can be found here
So without further ado....


Jig's Fantasy Draft Event

The Inspiration
I am looking to run an event (similar to a fantasy league) to give back go the site and community that Ive been a member of for over 3 years.
This event will consist of a player draft, regular season and bracketed playoff (inspired by March Madness)
Ive always loved the idea of having a player draft, I played in a tournament a couple years ago called in the "Interclangalactic Something" and I loved it. I know the idea of a player draft has been tossed around many times and never come to fruition , but I feel I have a decent format. (smaller teams of 5) The best part...the event will be run passively, that is to say that players will be scored based on clan games they are already playing. The second best part....there will be prizes!!

The Basic Idea
First off.....
This is NOT a tournament (in the eyes of CC) and will not involve tournament games.

I am looking for 20, 32, 40 or 64 General Managers
Each GM will draft a team from any CC member currently on a CC recognized clan (more guidelines later)
Each GM's team will either score a win or a loss for that "game" based on their players results in their next clan game (whether it be a regular clan war, Conquerors Cup, NewComers Cup, AllComers Cup, Clan League, etc)
So of the 5 players on a team the first three to complete a game will be counted with a best 2/3 result
The regular season will last for 28 "games" after which time all GM's will be bracketed and single elimination tournament will begin.
The bracket will be built based on win/loss, with ties being settled by available salary cap (lowest being the best)

With matters of mandatory team changes; (over the cap, more than 1 player per clan etc)
-A GM will be alerted via PM (and through the Dispatch) that changes need to be made.
-The GMs chosen changes will become active upon the release of the next edition of the CC Dispatch
-If the GM fails to request the changes within 1 week of being alerted they will be penalized (see "How the Team Works")

With matter of non-mandatory team changes (add/drop a player etc)
-A GM will request the changes within 1 week of the most recent Dispatch release
-If the GMs request is made within this time frame the changes will become active upon the release of the next edition.
-If the GMs request is NOT made within this time frame the changes will become active upon the release of edition AFTER that.
-GMs can only make 1 non-mandatory player move per Dispatch edition

Basically, I will tell you (or you, me) what needs to be done in PM and/or the Dispatch and you have 7 days to act....

The Draft
The GMs will be listed, randomized and will select players in a simple snake draft. I will message 5 GMs at a time and ask they give me their top 5 picks. (based on who is available) In the message I will include a list of selected players so as to ensure no players are selected twice.
By only messaging 5 GMs at a time and asking they provide 5 picks it will keep the draft quick and easy. Also it will reduce the chances for players being double picked. GMs cannot select themselves, but all other players who meet the requirements below are eligible. In addition only 1 player per clan can get on a GMs team
========================================================================================================================

The Prizes-ALL HAVE BEEN APPROVED BY CC
Winning GM-2500 Conquer Credits, Challenge Medal, GA Medal, Yellow Star, Silver Star
Runner Up GM-1 year premium, GA Medal, Pink Star, Orange Starx2, Silver Star
3rd Place GM-500 Conquer Credits, GA Medal, Pink Star, Silver Star
4th Place GM-GA Medal, Orange Star, Silver Star
5th-8th Place GMs-Orange Star, Silver Star
Best Regular Season Record-GA Medal
2nd Best Regular Season Record-Cyan Star x2
3rd Best Regular Season Record-Cyan Star
4th Best Regular Season Record-Orange Star
All others GMs who haven't won anything else-Silver Star
========================================================================================================================

Eligible GMs
Premium membership and commitment!
Current members of clans will be given preference
An understanding of clans will be an advantage
I would like to be one of the GM's, but and unsure about the ethics of it, I don't think I will have any advantage. If anyone has any issues with this just let me know. I will either give myself the last pick in the draft OR withdraw.

Eligible Players
Must be a member of CC recognized clan
Must be in at least 1 new CC regulated clan game once a month (to ensure the progression of the tournament)
If a player does not start a new game within a month they will be dropped from the team and the GM will have to select a new player.
GMs cannot select themselves as players, but are eligible to be on another GMs team.

How A "Game" Works
Each GM will have a "team" of 5 players, who are all playing in their regularly scheduled clan games.
The first three players to finish their games will be scored. A GMs players will need to win 2/3 of those games for the GM to record a win for that "game." A player can only contribute 1 win or loss per game. (this is to even out the odds as some CC players are super-active and some are not)
However, all "games" will be won/lost using the shortest amount of time.
(A sample game will be added to the next Dispatch Issue)
In the rare event that 3,4 or 5 players from one team are all in the same game the GM will have to win 3/5 instead of 2/3 (very rare case)

How the "Team" Works
Each "team" will have a salary cap, based on CC score, of 1100
The salary cap will only last for the regular season, once the playoffs begin the roster is set
All players on a "team" must be from different clans
Every two weeks (or each CC Dispatch edition I will check scores to ensure eligibility)
If a GM goes over the salary cap they will be given until the release of the next CC Dispatch to drop/select a new player
A GM can only add/drop 2 players per month (basically can fix their salary cap one time per Dispatch release)
If the GM fails to "fix" that GM's players will have to win 3/4 games instead of 2/3 to be awarded a "win"
GM's can release and sign new players at any time in the regular season, once the playoffs start the teams are set in stone and the salary cap will be dropped. (Cap's must be fixed before heading into the playoffs)
I will update the list of teams in each edition of the CC Dispatch, so GM's will have all the info and time needed to set/fix their teams.

How the "Playoffs" Work
Once the playoffs begin teams are set and the salary cap will be dropped. The only way a player can be replaced is if they do not start a game within a month (as stated above in the "Eligible Players" section)
Since the GMs will be going head-to-head games will be scored in the following way.
In the quarter finals the 1st five games to begin will be scored (a player can contribute to 2/5 of the game)
In the semi finals the 1st seven games to begin will be scored (a player can contribute to 2/7 of the game)
In the finals the 1st ten games to begin will be scored (a player can contribute to 3/10 of the game)
Whichever GMs players have the best record in the series will advance.
Ties will be solved by regular season salary cap (lower is better)
========================================================================================================================

Confirmed Registered GMs
1.sempiaspellcheck
2.benga
3.mcshanester29
4.Donelladan
5.loutil
6.GioDuce
7.MudPuppy
8.slickstick
9.sparkyball
10.DoomYoshi
11.prismsaber
12.Kingm

Pending GMs
1.jigger1986 (assuming nobody protests )
========================================================================================================================

Thanks for taking the time to read this article, I am really excited about this event and will work hard to ensure its success.
If you are interesting in becoming a GM or have any further questions please post in the original thread here or PM me.

May 1 F400 Update by IcePack

Spoiler

The F400 is a results based ranking system, based on (almost) all available results that include 12 games or higher. Most league results are reflected within this ranking system, as well as most wars*. (*Unless leagues do not meet some minimum entry requirement criteria, and wars with multiple clans involved).

May: Two new clans, ROTS fell off the F400 due to weight issues.

[DaveH]

Hello friends, and welcome to your favourite part of the Newsletter, "War Games", where you can find information about CC Tournaments, and other stuff in the Tournament scene!

We continue to deliver our news staples with mcshanester29's latest MTTW Interview with Armandolas, my update of TPA happenings in TPA Wrap, and I have also added my second article of New Tournaments which is an update from the last edition of the new tournaments that are open for joining.

Breaking News: The TPA4 spreadsheet is now running and can be accessed via the link in TPA Wrap!

Good Reading and Good Luck!

DaveH
Tournament Executive

Meet the Tournament Winners: Armandolas by mcshanester29

Spoiler

1. How did you come up with your username? Anything interesting you would like to tell us about yourself or if not maybe something about Portugal?

My name is Armando . Some day a friend of mine just called me Armandolas. Didnt ask her why, probably she had just been watching Lord of the rings and enjoyed the name of Legolas. I enjoyed it too and ive sticked to it

2. What are your favorite kinds of tournaments to organize? What do you feel is a good amount of tourneys to have ongoing and not be overwhelmed?

That depends of the tournament formats. If i keep it simple and go for tournament tree style. Then i can easily manage a lot of them.
For tourneys with many teams, invites, diff settings, many stages, etc, i would say one at the time. Its very easy to loose concentration and motivation, leading to mistakes on game creation. My favourite are team tourneys where teams get to choose rosters for a set of games(kind of clan style). I also like double elimination tourneys for single players

3. What is your favorite map/settings?

No clear favourites. I like to play everything otherwise i get a bit bored. Probably team and poly games are my N1 choice

4. What was your first tournament that you organized? How did it go?

It was Euro 2012. I enjoyed it very much and got 2 more of those

5. Have you had a favorite tournament so far?

Yes.Im organizing and playing Napoleonic Epic Team Battles

6. Soccer or Handball?

Football(soccer)

7. What are your favorite kinds of tournaments to play in?

Same as the ones i like to organize

8. What do you think of the new auto tournaments?

I think they can be fun and came to add another option to tournament players, wich is good, but they need some improvements.
I believe people who created them, arenot much into the tournament scene, neither asked feedback from the people who really know about them.
"Manual" tournaments are much more creative and challenging

9. What advice do you have for someone just starting to organize tournaments?

Keep it tidy

10. Is there something you wish I had asked and didn't?

Not really. Im pleased with your questions

Thanks for the interview mate!! Keep up the tournaments!!

TPA Wrap by DaveH

Spoiler

TPA Season 2: State of Play

Click image to enlarge.

Just one tournament to complete: "A History of Europe" which was rescued by Swifte.

The running order is: Swifte (6,770 points), dowian2 (5,445), leehar (4,542), uckuki (3,575) and arno30 (3,492) in fifth spot.

TPA 2: Standings
The TPA2 spreadsheet will be finalised after the completion of the last tournament as we have now reached the spreadsheet limit of 400,000 cells, so I won't be able to list the remaining tournament results on that spreadsheet, just the scores.

TPA Season 3: State of Play

Click image to enlarge.

One tournament is classed as completed since the last newsletter so there are 35 completed tournaments and 6 yet to finish.

The tournament classed as completed since the previous War Games issue is my Lose Your Knighthood tournament withShoop76 winning but the other places awaiting completion of a long running game (110 rounds and counting!).

Tournament leaders (as per the previous issue): uckuki (8,088); benga (6,554); Swifte (5,925); Aussie02 (4,782); Gilligan (4,553). These scores have now been corrected to account for the best 8 Premier scores rather than all Premiers played.

TPA 3: Standings
Link to Individual Scores (The Google scoreboard has been updated with the latest results). As some players have now finished more than eight premier tournaments, remember to scroll to the right to see the scores corrected for the best eight.

TPA Season 4: State of Play


There are 20 ongoing tournaments and 7 completed tournaments. One has finished since the previous newsletter:
Angola loves the Originals II by angola (of course!) and won by uckuki.

In signups are:

• World War X: Capture The Flag which is a 1 vs 1 tournament by anamainiacks
  Be a Team Player which is a Mixed tournament by sempaispellcheck
  MC's 1 vs 1 Speedy Small Maps by mcshanester29 which is just as the title says!

After seven tournaments uckuki's win moves him into first place on 3,000 with xmezx 2,656, benga 1,891 and Aussie02 1,833 following.

TPA 4: Standings

[size=130][b][color=#800000][u]New Tou ... em coming!

• Alpha Beta 66 which is a 1 vs 1 tournament by ViperOverLord
  Battle For Medals! Round 2 which is a Mixed tournament by drake_259
  Be A Team/Player! [TPA4] which is a Mixed tournament by sempaispellcheck
  Bracketology - Middle East which is a Mixed tournament by Mad777
  Climb the Ladder II: Doodle Earth which is a 1 vs 1 tournament by jdean1
  District of Alaska which is a 1 vs 1 tournament by Seamus76
  DKs Best of 2013 II - Randomized which is a Mixed tournament by Dukasaur
  Dukasaur Plays Baltic 15 which is a Trench tournament by Dukasaur
  It's A Knockout!!! World Cup 2010 which is a 1 vs 1 tournament by Serreski
  Jigs Random Poly 2-Slot I which is a Polymorphic tournament by jigger1986
  MC's 1 vs 1 Speedy Small Maps [TPA4] which is a Speed tournament by mcshanester29
  Now WHO is my partner? [TPA4] which is a Mixed tournament by Silly Knig-it
  Shakespeare! which is a Mixed tournament by LittleMao
  The Championships 2014 - Flat Rate/No Spoils which is an Official tournament by chapcrap
  The Huge MadLuxDoodleMini 128 (Assassin) which is an Assassin tournament by Domination_44
  US Open Cup 2014 which is a 1 vs 1 tournament by jdean1

As well as Play-Now Tournaments (Needing Reserves) which is an Official tournament by Night Strike of course.[/spoiler]

[Dukasaur]

Issue 116 features the interrogation of benga.

interrogation of benga

Q. OSA means wasp in Croatian... what other clans or users have funny Croatian names?

tofu-raw meat
kort- not sure what the english word is, but we use it for bunch of girls yelling and crying
IA- donkey sounds
HH - histerical laughs
OTP-short for bold people

think that covers it

Q. How do you keep track of all the different tournaments and clan wars you run on this site?

I am puzzled by this myself

Q. What's benga stand for? Is it a name , nickname, something else?

Nickname, I never ran out of fuel, I always keep going and going.

Q. What is the highest number of active games you had?

275! I am such a sissy.

Q. What do you do in real life?

Play CC, think of CC, do CC, I need a break!

Q. Does your country have mandatory military service, and did you do yours?

Yes, consists of heavy drinking and smokin pot.
I suppose I will be in military my whole life.

Q. What is the most difficult thing you have had to do in life?

Get out of uterus.

Q. What is your favourite art form?

Freestyle-street art, but love to think I am openminded to all.

Q. Do you wear slippers? Can you trust people who don't?

Always beerfoot (not to be mistaken by barefoot), not sure I can trust those sissies.


Q. How many languages can you say 'A wasp stung my benga' in?

No I know 2! A bit shameful will work on it.

Q. Do you think iamcaffeine needs: a) a hug b) more drugs c) viagra d) to join OSA.

Don't know, I don't do caffeine.

Q. what dice cheat code do you use when we play against each other?

I play with my eyes shut!


Q. What is your favorite Croatian swear word? Is there an English equivalent?

Jebeno=fucking awesome!

Q. 1. What was iamcaffeine's previous players name on CC?
2. Would you let him join OSA?
3. If so what would he have to do?

Heard he was a multi, so NO!

Q. What is your favorite food?

There is few I don't like,pretty much all!


Q. How much time do you spend on this site on an average day?

Not sure, maybe 12h??

Q. Why are people so obsessed with me? [iAmCaffeine]

I really do hate coffeine, don't take it in any way, so you are wrong here.

Q. Who cuts your hair?

I just wait till it fells off.

Q. How many pairs of sunglasses do you own?

None, hate them too, not a poser, take my sun straight up.

Q. When did you last go abroad on vacation? Where did you go? Who with? Highlights and lowlights of the vacation?

Berlin for the last european footbal championship in Poland/Ukraine.
Couple of beer lovers.
Hiding behind a tree and eating kebab, looking something like this:


Q. Mary Anne or Ginger?
Football or Soccer?
Right or Left?
Boxers or Briefs?
How many Pigs do you slaughter each year?
Missionary or Doggy?
Boys or Girls?
Which one is red-hair?
Football! Only americans play soccer.
Straight up!
Something else with B.
At least 1.
Was a long time ago, so forgot it...
Beer or boobs?

Q. Why are you killing me [kmhebert] so bad in One Man Army?

Sorry it's not only you, I am just that good.

Q. Are you a believer in .... " Liquor is Quicker "? What are your thoughts on woman with hairy arm pits?

I can't drink slow anyway.
Haven't met any, was too short in Paris to find out.

Q. OK, now I'm not saying you're involved, but this keeps me up at night. I just gotta know. Ok like, they get peanut oil from crushing peanuts, and coconut oil from crushing coconuts. So where are they getting the baby oil?

Well now I know why world pop is decreasing!!!

Q. have you ever had a woman shave your face ?,,i [rh-headhunter] bring this up cause i didnt know this still even existed,,,my wife wont do it,,but i found a cute little barber girl that offers old fashioned hot shave with a straight razor,like in the old movies,,,it is so awesome,,do yourself a favor and find out if there is one of these in your area...i tip mine really well and she keeps my head steady with her cleavage.. i didnt know life could get better,but there it is.. cheers to best clan chief i have ever known ,thanks for all your hard work

Thx for advice!
Never wanted anyone touching my chin, but wanted my balls shaved, didn't happen
And thx matey!


Q. Are you psychopathic, compulsive disordered or otherwise minded that you know of?

Well I do tend to change my mood and am a bit temperish....

Q. What is your dream car?

Hate cars, always on foot.
Experince the life don't waste in plastic cubes

[Dukasaur]

Actual publication date May 4th @1912.

[divegeester]

Hi,

Please remove me from these in mail updates.

Thanks.