Hello again readers. Hope the Valentine Events were a blast for you. We sit down with Bogan to talk about clan life, and I've got another Scum Insider for you.
Q. Why do Seagulls fly upside down over Australia?
For a better view, also a seagulls undercarriage is more reflective, thus helping the bird absorb less solar radiation.
Q. Is it true that New Zealanders are to Australia, what Mexicans are like to America?
True in the case, where the New Zealanders actually do some work, are not near as fat and lazy. Have their own culture, language, sporting interests and laugh at Australians. Unlike the mexicans who are mistreated illegal migrants, Kiwis scare most aussies(a lot of doormen/bouncers are kiwi, I was a bouncer for a while) and kiwis arrive and stay legally.
Q. Why is Australia so jealous about how many sheep we have in New Zealand?
It is the sheep per capita that has the aussies choking on their XXXX in rage. There are more sheep in australia than NZ, just less sheep per person. Aussies can't stand anyone having more of something than they do. See their recent efforts to wrest the lead off america in obesity, teenage pregnancy and religious intolerance.
Q. Is the best player in Aussie rugby really a kiwi call Quade Copper?
The most over rated player is a kiwi called Quade Cooper. The best player in australia rugby in my opinion is a two way tie between the papua new guinean; Will Genia, and the Samoan; Israel Falou.
Q. Why do Australians hate boat people so much? Apart from the aboriginals, are not all the rest boat people in one way or another?
I can't speak for all Australians.... I know when I immigrated I had a visa. The issue is that boat people are economic refugees and jump the queue. Other refugees apply, wait(often for 4or5 years), and then migrate legally. Boat people can afford to pay people smugglers a minimum US$10,000. That is just for their journey from Indonesia to Australia. They before reaching Indonesia they fly from their country of origin, to another country(often malaysia) then on to Indonesia. They risk their lives, and the lives of our naval and coast guard personnel, because they don't have the patience to wait or they know they would be rejected through legimate channels. So boat people are ruining it for more deserving people. People that don't have the resources miss out, because others jump the queue. Boat people cost a lot more in research/vetting costs(they often destroy their passports) and are more likely to be found to have committed a crime that makes them ineligible for residency. Hence them trying the backdoor, and having the money to try the back door. On the everyone arriving by boat quip. The current scientific wisdom is that even the aboriginals arrived by boat. The convicts on the first white fleet were unusual in that they didn't have a choice in arriving here. Now Australia is that popular all the pommies want to come here.
Q. Do you have 5 cars and 1 pig on the front lawn and the only thing that runs is the Pig?
No cars in the front yard, all out the back as chicken coops. The pig keeps on sidling up to me with begging looks, I think the pig and the goat talk too much.
Q. Were you deported to Australia or you just a wanted man in NZ?
I'm wanted everywhere. One of the joys of having dual citizenship is family on both sides of the ditch. Need to spend time with family in OZ. Most of us are living in Australia(save on winter clothing), my bogan breeder cousins(first child before age 16) are under instructions to turn the lights out when they leave NZ.
Q. Will you share a bowl with me (smegal69) in Nimbin?
Sounds good, though dunno when I'll be in nimbin next. Need to visit VIC again first.
What happened to BoFM
I don't know. I leave the site for two years and try the real life thing. When I come back. No BoFM
Q. What is the best part of CC and what is the worst?
The best part are the people, well some of the people. The worst part is that there are no clear moderating guidelines. The site is run on a budget, so volunteers are allowed to drag personal animus into decision making. It is ridiculous that manipulating the score board(initially by a mod....) is not viewed as harshly as saying something that offends people. People should be punished/censored for what they do, not what they say. This is a major failing of the site. Also the dice are shocking. About as random as celebrity stalking.
Q. If you could only pick 3 maps to play, what ones will you pick?
This is a question that I would answer differently from month to month. So many good maps. At present would say
Draknor Level1
Classic
World 2.1
Q. If you could ban someone from CC whom would that be?
Myself, would get a lot more done in RL.....
Q. Do you have a "mullet" for a haircut?
I did for many years. Sadly as I age, the mullet looks more and more like a salt and pepper half dead possum, hoping to have a red hot go at Donald Trump's hair ferret before it dies. So the mullet is gone, at least until I can find some realistic hair colouring agent.
Q. Do you have a pack of cigarettes in your shirt sleeve?
I'm sitting naked, typing on the laptop. No shirt sleeve. When I do, I tuck the lighter down the plastic at the front of the packet. Insert packet lighter facing outwards. Carrying a lighter makes you more attractive to fembogues. They love to see a god who plans ahead and provides for himself.
Q. Do you wear either DB's or beach thongs for footwear?
I wear jandels or rainbow crocs.
Q. Do you follow Collingwood in the AFL?
No, though if I lose one more tooth I'll have to. Mighty Eagles all the way. Hate the bloods, die sydney, die!
Q. Do you drive a shitty car?
Sadly I do. My ute(pickup for the americans) was stolen last year. I've replaced it with a korean 4cyclinder hair dressers car. Would be a rattle box, except is mainly made from plastic.
Q. Do you have the complete collection of ACDC on vinyl? (INXS will also suffice)
Sadly since I've travelled so much, my vinyl collection was sold many years ago. I do however have mp3s of all AC/DC and INXS songs. More street creed worthy than that. I own goanna, yothu yindi, crowded house, and screaming jets. Have seen regurgitator live on many an occasion, and smoked bongs with the boys from tumble weed. Uncle Bogan was quite the party animal in his day.
Q. Do you "strutt" when you walk?
I have it, so I work it. Some call it strutting, I call it stalking.
Q. Do you hate hippies?
Not enough to cross the road to bash one. I wouldn't slow down if one stepped out in front of me in traffic. There is just something off putting about a woman that you can roll over or lift by grabbing her under arm hair. Not sexy in my book. Though am sure betiko gets a half mongrel just thinking about hairy pits.
Q. Do you own "stubby" of "ALF" shorts?
Yes, in black, white, and pin stripped.
Q. Do you start fights in the pub over footy scores?
Not any more. I used to finish fights in the pub about footy scores. Not from a great skill at bluing just because I have a better than average alcohol tolerance. If your more sober than your opponent is always a good thing. Unless of course your having a bet about sleeping with really, really, really, 15pint minimum women.
Q. Can you count to 12? (fingers...toes...ect +1)
I keep on losing my place, and having to start again. Counting toes involves having nose/face to close to nether regions, which then leads to a certain type of thought....
Q. If any of the answers to any of the above are "NO" .... how can you call yourself "Bogangod"?
Quite easily. God's have to be contradictory, both in lifestyle and utterances. Do as I say, not as I do. It is all in the celestial handbook. Chapter 3 I think, been a while since I've had to look anything up.
Q. With how many goats so far have you had long term relations?
Really depends on how you define a relationship. Parallel relationships with multiple goats has happened on more than 3 occasions. Sadly a goats peak attractiveness time span is not very long.
Q. How old was the eldest goat you have fallen in love with?
Old enough to know better, and young enough to still try, and then try again, and again, and again.
Q. You came back to cc. Not too long after that, maybe a month or two, Atlantis was founded. Now tell me (HardAttack), was it that you dreamed and felt like your old men were doing something nasty and that you would like to jump back onto CC to see what wass going on? Or your nose got a good smell of genoke back in action again?
Atlantis was founded a little while before I returned to CC. Kept in touch with a lot of CC people in rl, just didn't really discuss CC that much. As was not an option for me at the time. Real life and all that. When I found myself with enough time to play, I came back.
Q. How does it feel like living in oz, being from New Zealand? Having any difficulty with the change from lambs to camels?
Sadly camels live only in the more arid central parts of Australia. I'm living near the coast on the shores of lake macquarie. A very verdant part of New South Wales. So no camels. However some of the native australia fauna is top shelf. The farmer down the street has alpacas, am waiting impatiently for him to go on holiday.
Q. New Zealand women or oz women? Why?
Neither. Swedish, african, asian, polynesian, and american indian. In that order. If looking for for a relationship. If just looking for a fling, kiwi over aussie any day. Kiwi women are more likely to have darker skin tone, and their voices don't sound like they have been deep throating a micro plane(a grater a little wider than a sharpening steel).
Q. Who is prettier? razorvich or dukasaur?
They both look equally sexy when I've had a few bundies(Australian dark rum) and coke. Sober, duka has a real pretty mouth. razor has buns like kylie minogue. To close to call.
Q. How much did safariguy pay to have you for this interview?
There was an agreement that since I'm taking time out of busy schedule(taking turns and that is it. Work is super crazy atm) to answer these questions. He would put in a good word for me, I'm hoping to be on the real dice pilot program in 2023 when the fourth owner after wham finally implements decent dice.
Q. Why do you still have that sig up lol?
I have zero skill at sig design, so like a magpie entranced by the notion of owning/stealing all things shiny. I rarely give up a sig once I have rightfully stolen it, or had the sig foisted on me in a wager gone foul.
Q. Why do you hate *Pixar* so much?
The current clan hoping pixar is a triffle less annoying than the 11yr old pixar that liked to squeal whenever anyone said POO. Pixar growing up slightly has been one of the more unexpected things I've noticed since my return.
Q. If you had a choice of being a woman would you do it?
Hell yes. When downstairs functions were handed out. Men got peeing whilst standing. Women got multiple orgasms. Who wouldn't like a go at that. Though imagine I wouldn't leave the house for the entire time.
Q. How's the goat doing? Last time I (TheForgivenOne) saw it, it was eating my pants.
Nanny is doing fine, she is a bit older and wiser. We have remained friends. Dan "the goat whisperer" Ryan taking her out for dinner, gave her unrealistic expectations. Thanks Dan, you ruined something beautiful and fun.
Q. How come you didn't stop when I (TheForgivenOne) told you to stop tickling me?
I judged that it was one the rare cases when no, means no don't stop. Future tip, pee your pants, and I will get the message right away!
Q. How come I (TheForgivenOne) wasn't invited to your new clan? Was it because the goat is mad at me for not calling back?
Nanny had/has nothing to do with recruitment at Atlantis. I joined Atlantis as a member not leader(a role that I've reluctantly taken up recently), and have been trying to get to know existing members better. Sadly there are a lot of people that aren't in Atlantis, that I would like to be in a clan with. Having 45people in the clan would be unwieldy. So everyone gets put to the vote, if and when they officially express interest. Stops the leadership group getting blamed if new recruits go postal.
Q. Why are you one of my (elfish_lad) favourite CC personalities?
The God of the great unwashed and dentally challenged, has love and personality enough to share with all. I attempt to shine a light into the more dull and dreary corners of this sometimes all too serious site. I would like to think that elfish lad and others have enough wisdom to see beneath the gruff and profane exterior. I think elfish lad sees the real me. <Group hug, just don't rock the trailer too much>
Q. Why did you go from being a laugh to a bore?
I think when you find that which you have lost. You will laugh again. A sense of humour should not so easily be discarded.
Q. Do you prefer to be called a boar or bore?
Boring, next question. I would rather be a ham.
Q. What is love? (Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more.)
Love is always having a safety word. Has cut down my rope burn injury rate a lot in the past few years.
Q. How frustrated by the above question will TFO be?
Only as frustrated as he allows himself to be. He has the picture of betiko and bruceswar sharing a bowl of spaghetti lady and the tramp style. That will always make him and others smile.
Q. On a scale of No to 10 why did the chicken cross the road?
5.7, the chicken was searching for meaning and validation. Bucket list before being part of a hot and spicy bucket.
Q. What's your favourite song?
Listening to a lot of pink floyd, comfortably numb is right up there. Hard to say that I have a favourite song. Like so many songs and artists.
Q. What's your favourite colour?
Three way tie between purple, pink and bright, light green.
Q. What's your favourite CC map?
Bamboo Jack
Q. What's your favourite political assassination?
Juleeliar's coup against KRudd. Cold, really cold. Then she accused him of disloyalty when he toppled her to regain the top spot for a few months.
Q. Now that it's (unofficially) official, what are your thoughts on the outcome of the NC4 and on the competition as a whole?
I came in towards the tail end of the competition. Find it amusing that the winner will be a clan that has been around for a long, long time. Hardly a new clan. Any large scale clan competition that people take the time to run for clans, is a good thing. We need more not less competitions.
Q. Which 10 places CC has a map of would you most want to visit? (Rank them from 1 to 10, please)
Have been to everywhere on a few of the CC maps. So out of places I haven't been to.
1. Sweden
2. Denmark
3. Belgium
4. Canada
5. America
6. Russia
7. Italy
8. Spain
9. Portugal
10. Antarctica
Q. Why is an army called an infantry if you have to be over 18 to get in?
Not sure, however often the prefix in, denotes something being the opposite of the rest of the word.
Inconsistent = not consistent.
Insecure = not secure.
Insolvent = not solvent.
Using this logic...... Infantry = not fantry. QED Infantry is the opposite of fantry.
Please don't dwell on the obvious exceptions to the above rule. Such as inflammable.
Q. Can you tell how old a pirate is by cutting off his peg leg and counting the rings?
No, as the rings are often warped or abraded by repeatedly coming into contact with landlubbers skulls. A pirates age may be guessed with in an acceptable margin of error by noting the size of his parrots vocabulary.
Q. Does the person who inventories sheep often fall asleep on the job?
No, they are not tranquillised by sheep. Ovine counting agents, often count poultry to get to sleep or get on with the job. One cock, two cocks, three cocks, more, four cocks, five cocks, etc
Q. When are you going to write something funny again?
I'm on the newspaper staff. Have written a few articles but have not shared them with editorial staff. Bogan is a bit biter and twisted, or more so than normal. Need to get more sleep, so articles are more funny, and less angry.
Q. How much vegemite do you eat in a year?
Not much, prefer marmite.
Q. How many roos have you killed?
Lost count. Have eaten even more than I've killed.
Q. How many roos have you killed in front of a crowd of schoolchildren?
None
Q. Do you use more then 2 sleeves to wipe your ass?
Of course. Don't you?
Q. You're about to open a dinnerbar, is that your way to recruit more aussies?
It is my way of getting to cook, rather than only do paper work. Sadly have reached a stage in my career(have been there for a while) where I have to spend all my time flying a desk. I didn't become a chef to spend all my time making budget projections, doing cost appraisals and feasibility studies, and writing staff training manuals. If I have to write one more "This is a slicer machine, it is sharp, don't operate whilst drunk, sleepy, or on prescription medication" am liable to go looking for the nearest accountant with my bluntest bread knife, a roll of gladwrap, hot chili sauce, lime juice and salt.
Q. How come that a smart boy like you still are playing CC?
I have low self esteem so I play CC. Playing CC allows me to see that there many others in this world much worse off than I am.
Q. Do you have travel plans to another continent sometime?
Yes, if I can make the figures line up. I would love to open a restaurant in north america.
Q. I've (Genoke) heard you're cured from schizophrenia, so....are you still with 2?
I still hear voices. I just no longer feel compelled to follow their incessant suggestions.
Q. Please advise the genome sequence of a wombat.
That is classified, suffice to say. Your plan of breeding with a wombat is likely to produce only sterile offspring or green leaning politicians.
Q. Boon or Ryder?
Boon, Ryder is a dick. They took forever to repair the glass on the dunny at the stock exchange in CC.
Q. Zinzan or Buck?
Damn tight call. Zinzan for skill. Buck for toughness/courage/mana
Q. Speights or XXXX?
Monteiths please. Would toss a coin between Speights and XXXX. Though would drink both in preference to Emu Bitter. Emu Bitter makes urine seem appealing.
Q. Clark or Gillard? (after more than just a few of the above)
Gillard, only because her beak could clean the lint out of my belly button.
Q. Walloon or Flem?
The fake frenchies any day. Though the flems do make better chocolate, beer and chips. Hard question you bastard
Q. Arapawa or Kalbian?
Do you really need to ask?
Q. G-String or Crotchless?
You can't wiggle crotchless backwards and forwards to good effect in a movie theatre.
Q. Borat, Azamat, or HardAttack?
HardAttack, dressed as borat.
Q. Brown or Khaki?
Brown
Q. Koala or Wombat?
Koala cause they are more vicious and smelly
Q. Kangaroo or Wallaby?
Damn, Kangaroos taste better. I prefer rugby to league. Then again the wallabies don't/can't/won't really play rugby. So Kangaroos win.
Q. Ass or Arse?
Don't have anywhere to house an ass. I can't go past a nice arse. Arse
Q. Crocodile or Alligator?
Never eaten alligator. Crocodile
Q. Sydney or Perth?
Sydney
Q. New Zealand or Australia?
NZ
Q. Beach or City?
Beach
Q. Bear or Bare?
A bare bear
Q. Beer or Beer?
bier
Q. Favourite meal to eat? Favourite meal to cook?
Changes all the time. Like cooking venison schitzel on asian slaw with aioli and redwine jus. Like eating spaghetti al olio
Q. Are you one of those people that drinks a different wine for each course?
Depends on the meal. Sometimes I get all post modern and shit. Dare to have a craft beer, sometimes even with dessert. A porter with chocolate flavoured desserts is a great match.
Q. Coffee or Tea?
Coffee
Q. Why did you go on a hiatus from CC?
Work, got in the way of CC. Couldn't spend the time on CC that I would have liked. So no time was better than a little fruitless time.
Q. How much fun are you having since you've returned?
Almost as much fun as I was before. Things have gotten boring on CC. The policy of banning anyone with a personality, and letting cheats buy back has really led to decline in verbal intelligence, discussion and frank exchange of ideas.
Q. Are you going to leave again?
Nothing lasts forever, and we all know times will change. I'm working towards finding a managable game load. Won't be running any more challenges for a while.
Q. Do you use your current inventory for anything?
No. Would rather have real die than a galaxy of stars
Q. What would you do with a red star if you had one?
Wash all the angel blood off it to see the original colour. Making angels sit on stars atop christmas trees is a cruel hangover from the middle ages.
Q. When next are you coming back into Live Chat?
Not for a long time. If and when I get an internet connection that would allow me to play speed games. Then I might be tempted to try livechat again.
Q. When next are you going to get yourself banned from the Forums?
Whenever some mindless, cretinous, humourless douchebag drunk on power, and short on logic decides to stifle commentary again.
Q. Woodruff or saxitoxin?
Woody, I like woodies.
Q. What sig did you enjoy stealing and abusing the most?
jefjef's sig was the most fun to wear. Started a trend, and lightened up the dullness of CC life for a few dice raped campers.
Q. Who is your favorite American?
GallantPellham(the CC player, rather than historical figure). Though if forced to pick an american that people outside of CC would know. Rob Zombie or Magic Johnson, inspiring in different ways.
Q. What's it like living in a 3rd world country?
Not as much as fun as a 1st world country, though my time working and living around the pacific and asia have given me a greater appreciation for the little things in life. Women that wash, running water, road rules(I don't like to think of myself as a wuss, but would be seriously strong mind fucking pills to get me on a motor bike in vietnam), police that don't ask for petrol money, the list could go on. Not all gloom and doom living in a 3rd world country. Can pull birds that are normally way out of your league, alcohol is plentiful and cheap, same for smokes.
Q. What have you done with Anonymus? And why?
anonymus is a CC hiatus at present to treat his gay S&M addiction. Nothing to be ashamed about, just was really affecting his real life, and employment prospects. He has progressed from being tied up by women that look like men, or big hairy men. To his present state of grace, taking photos of pretty boys that look like women. Once he has finally controlled his need to be dominated, and confined it to the bedroom, glory holes, and public parks, then and only then will he be ready to return to CC. He felt that his desire to be beaten, led him to make rash choices in games. All ex members of BoFM and anyone that knows him, wishes him success in balancing his hobbies, work life, and recreation time.
Q. What is your opinion of jefjef's questions?
I love jefjef and his questions. If I had the courage to come out of the closet, and move to the US. I would go all "Single white female" on jj. Would love to be him, if I couldn't be with him.
Q. Do you constantly tease Mike because you are actually deeply in love with him and his command of the english language?
I'm performing a community service, and helping mike out. The endless speculation about mike being a passionless robot/brucewar multi was hurting his reputation. Me goading mike into showing some emotion helps to prove his humanity, and it is fun.
Q. What make and model is your air guitar?
For a long time I played a fender strat, but have decided to see other instruments. Am experimenting with a chinese made guitar, ivory frets, cat gut strings(tiger), lacquered bamboo resonating chamber, came with some complimentary american junk bonds. Playing chinese allows me to own a little bit of america. I believe the make is Dominator, and the model is Washington destroyer. Can't be exactly sure, as pin yin to english is often error riddled.
Q. For someone as sexy as yourself, it is still surprising that you are not a bandit. Is it hard to be surrounded by people who are so inferior to you, sexy-wise?
I have never been offered a place in the bandit band. With the bandits being social, I'm sure I could help bring sexy back. Surrounding myself with players with less teeth, less grooming, and shorter mullets is just a habit that I've grown accustomed to.
Made on Photoshop 
Took me about 20 hours of work to get this image.
But not quite as I found out. 
They are there to help, so if you do not know what to do, ask one. 
and the 
you meet there.
