So, Moses visited me this morning, and he said there's only a 40% chance of rapture today. He also said that anyone who is buying into this Camping guy's predictions, is following a false prophet. You know why? 'Cause JC said so! (said in my best Stone Cold Steve Austin voice)
Last edited by Timminz on Sat May 21, 2011 10:58 am, edited 1 time in total.
Dukasaur wrote:Those of you who are becoming enRaptured today, please PM me you bank account information. I'm pretty sure you won't need cash in Heaven and I could really use some. Thank you!
Perhaps indeed. After the Believers are taken, the Non-Believers will be left behind here on Earth for 5 months to battle plagues, wars, famine, zombies?, climate, until the Earth is destroyed in a massive quake in October.
So, the rapture (should that be capitalized) was supposed to happen on Saturday. Most people think it didn't. But what if it did? What if God said, "Yeah, you all suck ass" and left us all here to be judged?
thegreekdog wrote:So, the rapture (should that be capitalized) was supposed to happen on Saturday. Most people think it didn't. But what if it did? What if God said, "Yeah, you all suck ass" and left us all here to be judged?
thegreekdog wrote:So, the rapture (should that be capitalized) was supposed to happen on Saturday. Most people think it didn't. But what if it did? What if God said, "Yeah, you all suck ass" and left us all here to be judged?
To quote myself,
Apparently,
(a)God designed human beings. (b) Human beings are all miserable sinners. (c) This is not god's fault.
Well, you wouldn't get away with that if you were designing parachutes, would you? "I know none of them open, but they could if they wanted to!"
jones, if they parachutes want to avoid an eternity of torture, then they should say they're sorry for thoughtcrimes and the fact that their supposed ancestors ate an apple off a tree.
Not then either. Camping says that he basis's it on 7000 from the time of the flood. One problem, the Jewish calendar starts at the time of the flood, and they are only in the year 5771. So Camping is only off by 1229 years!
isaiah40 wrote:Not then either. Camping says that he basis's it on 7000 from the time of the flood. One problem, the Jewish calendar starts at the time of the flood, and they are only in the year 5771. So Camping is only off by 1229 years!
What if he's using dog years, would he be closer or worse? I think we should at least give him a fairly severe wedgie if we're not going to stone him for being a false profit.
isaiah40 wrote:Not then either. Camping says that he basis's it on 7000 from the time of the flood. One problem, the Jewish calendar starts at the time of the flood, and they are only in the year 5771. So Camping is only off by 1229 years!
What if he's using dog years, would he be closer or worse? I think we should at least give him a fairly severe wedgie if we're not going to stone him for being a false profit.
Of course he also said a day is like a thousand years. So if we use that standard then the world will end 2,555,000,000 years from the flood. Which would put the end @ 2,554,994,229, or roughly 2,554,992,218 years from now.
There you go. If I see the guy I might punch him in the head. Suppose I'll go to jail if he dies from being 89. I'll accept that as God's will for letting weird Harold get too close to me after running about scaring people away from the bible. There's allready too many people saying things that are not true about the bible, getting this much press while you're doing it makes me cranky.
isaiah40 wrote:Not then either. Camping says that he basis's it on 7000 from the time of the flood. One problem, the Jewish calendar starts at the time of the flood, and they are only in the year 5771. So Camping is only off by 1229 years!
What if he's using dog years, would he be closer or worse? I think we should at least give him a fairly severe wedgie if we're not going to stone him for being a false profit.
Of course he also said a day is like a thousand years. So if we use that standard then the world will end 2,555,000,000 years from the flood. Which would put the end @ 2,554,994,229, or roughly 2,554,992,218 years from now.
isaiah40 wrote:Not then either. Camping says that he basis's it on 7000 from the time of the flood. One problem, the Jewish calendar starts at the time of the flood, and they are only in the year 5771. So Camping is only off by 1229 years!
What if he's using dog years, would he be closer or worse? I think we should at least give him a fairly severe wedgie if we're not going to stone him for being a false profit.
Of course he also said a day is like a thousand years. So if we use that standard then the world will end 2,555,000,000 years from the flood. Which would put the end @ 2,554,994,229, or roughly 2,554,992,218 years from now.
Pretty close. I heard the end is in about 4 billion years, give or take a bit.
isaiah40 wrote:Not then either. Camping says that he basis's it on 7000 from the time of the flood. One problem, the Jewish calendar starts at the time of the flood, and they are only in the year 5771. So Camping is only off by 1229 years!
What if he's using dog years, would he be closer or worse? I think we should at least give him a fairly severe wedgie if we're not going to stone him for being a false profit.
Of course he also said a day is like a thousand years. So if we use that standard then the world will end 2,555,000,000 years from the flood. Which would put the end @ 2,554,994,229, or roughly 2,554,992,218 years from now.
Pretty close. I heard the end is in about 4 billion years, give or take a bit.
--Andy
That's possibly as optimistic, as the original story was pessimistic.
I'm Spanking Monkey now....err...I mean I'm a Spanking Monkey now...that shoots milk Too much. I know.