Rate this plan to lose virginity/seduce co-worker

[suggs]

A plan of cunning genius!
However I would avoid at all costs the phrase "slip into something more comfortable" as thats normally a line used by a washed up 40 year old has been, ie by the sounds of her..., her.

Splash out on a bottle of wine! Box of wine made me piss myself, you'll look like really CHEAP CNT otherwise.
But funny as hell.
And if you're serious, well it could work.
But a high class prozzie is the more traditional route.

[Pedronicus]

We have a Hungarian bloke at work whose simplistic attitude towards women is enlightening to me at least.
He works on site and came back to the office one day with a bunch of flowers.

'What have you got flowers for Balazarsh?' I asked him.
'It's for my girlfriend' he replied.
'Very romantic' I told him
'I want to f*ck her' he said.

With a no nonsense attitude like that - I bet he rogered her senseless and came in her mouth.

[pimpdave]

This has to be a joke...

It's not. If you don't want to help me out here, don't reply.

Well, if you really are serious, follow everyone else's advice, especially about not saying "slip into something more comfortable", and bottles not box wine.

Also, get some Leonard Cohen cds immediately. Women seem to love that guy, responding to his smooth songs by kicking their Birkenstocks straight up in the air. Marvin Gaye is good too, but too obvious a choice.

Finally, remember that if you do bang this chick, one of you is going to have to leave that job. That's how it always happens when you bang a co-worker. So either be ready to quit, or be ready to get her fired, cause one of you is going to have to go.

[qeee1]

The noticeable erection is the pillar upon which this plan relies. Do not f*ck it up.

[GabonX]

Eventually, I'll maneuver her into a stare, and then will kiss her, but pull back and insist that "we can't do this", then try to continue the tour of the place while I continue to touch her. After a few more repeats of the "we can't do this", her barriers will collapse and I'll lose my virginity.

Thoughts?

I wouldn't play the "we can't do this" angle. Props to you for planning ahead but saying "we can't do this" is what WOMEN SAY just before they do it, not men. It's also dishonest and unless you're a really good liar it will sound forced..

I've heard more than one girl say that one of the things they respect about guys is that they just go for what they want. As hard as it is to do it really is the best strategy, just don't be a passive wuss about it.

[heavycola]

I tricked/persuaded her to come to my apartment after work to "clean it up" for money on Wednesday

You've hired a cleaner? That is so hot, man.

[gimil]

I tricked/persuaded her to come to my apartment after work to "clean it up" for money on Wednesday

did your master plan work?

[GabonX]

I tricked/persuaded her to come to my apartment after work to "clean it up" for money on Wednesday

did your master plan work?

Wow, I totally missed that part. Thats not good..

If you don't care that a woman is heavy set why not make it easy on yourself and go out to a bar at 1 AM. Any woman who is by herself at a bar between 1 and 2 AM is looking for it...

[pimpdave]

I tricked/persuaded her to come to my apartment after work to "clean it up" for money on Wednesday

did your master plan work?

Wow, I totally missed that part. Thats not good..

If you don't care that a woman is heavy set why not make it easy on yourself and go out to a bar at 1 AM. Any woman who is by herself at a bar between 1 and 2 AM is looking for it...

That would work. Also, RustyMonkey, instead of tricking her into cleaning your apartment, trick her into getting drinks after work.

Just tell her that a bunch of people are going out for drinks after work, and would she like to come. When she gets there and it's only you, just act confused that no one else showed up.

[GabonX]

I tricked/persuaded her to come to my apartment after work to "clean it up" for money on Wednesday

did your master plan work?

Wow, I totally missed that part. Thats not good..

If you don't care that a woman is heavy set why not make it easy on yourself and go out to a bar at 1 AM. Any woman who is by herself at a bar between 1 and 2 AM is looking for it...

That would work. Also, RustyMonkey, instead of tricking her into cleaning your apartment, trick her into getting drinks after work.

Just tell her that a bunch of people are going out for drinks after work, and would she like to come. When she gets there and it's only you, just act confused that no one else showed up.

That could work but the fact that nobody else shows up could make it appear that you have low social value. Also, if she starts asking around it could backfire in that more people would show up or she would figure out that you weren't being honest. It may get her alone with you but it may be difficult to move to the next level from those pretenses.

[suggs]

You want her in your flat/apartment.
Its KEY.
i CAN'T SEE HOW YOUR PLAN COULD POSSIBLY FAIL.
aNYWAY, IF SHES THE SORT OF WOMAN WHO IS CLEANING FOR EXTRA CASH, SHES gagging FOR IT


damn sorry caps

[Curmudgeonx]

Let this be the first lesson of office interaction: "Thou shalt not put thy Rod into thy Staff" . . .

I am so disappointed I missed the first day of this thread. Now I have to pay shipping costs for V.I.'s masterpiece of getting my dick wet.

[suggs]

Great banner mate

[brooksieb]

Just don't make it cringe worthy or cheesy.

[Snorri1234]

I welcome alternate virginity loss suggestions that are possible for me. I've spent over a year now improving my demeanor and courage in approaching people, still no real progress.

"You know what your problem is? You're putting the pussy on a pedestal."

Plotting out a "game-plan for virginity losing" seems almost as good a way not to get laid as calling your date a cheap cunt. Women love a man with confidence, alcohol, flattery, money, presents and alcohol. And cocaine, sometimes. And money. And pretending you are actually interested in what they are saying.

Here's a tip to help you improve your ability with the last point: rent the film "Dirty Dancing" and watch it a few times. Then mention that you love the film "Dirty Dancing" the next time you stumble across a meat-bag you're interested in sexually humiliating yourself with. Just don't set your sites too low.

Shoot for the moon, young man, for even if you miss, you shall land amongst the stars.

If the above advice crashes worse than Princess Diana's limo, let me know, as I have written a 48-step fool-proof guide to getting some tail, titled "Gettin' Yo Dick Wet, Volume One", available for only 48.00 Swedish Kroners. Supplies are limited, order in the next twelve minutes and receive free shipping.

That sounds like a quality book there.



Oh man, this thread is hilarious.

[Pedronicus]

are you both smoking a cigarette in bed yet?

[Juan_Bottom]

And what exactly is so great about this chick??? Why do you want to give your most precious gift to her?

[Pedronicus]

His most precious gift is half of the house if it all goes tits up 3 years down the line.

[Snorri1234]

There is a heavyset divorced woman in my office that I flirt with a lot. Well, I tricked/persuaded her to come to my apartment after work (she's been there before) to "clean it up" for money on Wednesday. I turned up the sexual tension a bit by using a lot of subtle innuendo today also.

So here's my plan:

First, I plan to have the place mostly cleaned up so there's nothing to do, and it creates a more pleasant mood. I'll also have a lot of pleasant smells in the apartment.

Then, when we get there, I'll be really touchy-feely with her and continue to lay on the innuendo. When we get inside, I'm going to tell her that I'm going to "slip into something more comfortable", which is a T-shirt and shorts (and making sure she sees my buff upper body without a shirt before changing), but also I'll have a noticeable erection so she gets to think about sex. Then, I'll offer her chilled boxed wine so she has a pretense for falling for me.

Eventually, I'll maneuver her into a stare, and then will kiss her, but pull back and insist that "we can't do this", then try to continue the tour of the place while I continue to touch her. After a few more repeats of the "we can't do this", her barriers will collapse and I'll lose my virginity.

Thoughts?

A very solid plan!

[Ditocoaf]

Wait, he said Wednesday... I don't know where he lives, but it's 6:00 PM on Tuesday where I am. So we should be hearing results in a day or so?

[RustyMonkey]

It didn't go perfectly.

Anyway, where would someone with an associates degree and a few years of office experience go about finding a job?

[Curmudgeonx]

It didn't go perfectly.

Anyway, where would someone with an associates degree and a few years of office experience go about finding a job?

First go get laid, then worry about employment. Or keep your job, save up your money, and peruse the listings on craiglist which would probably have an opportunity for you. You even get a discount for being a virgin.

[william18]

It didn't go perfectly.

Anyway, where would someone with an associates degree and a few years of office experience go about finding a job?

What happened?

[DirtyDishSoap]

Tell her you have a fire in your pants and it needs to be put out

Always gets them

[Ditocoaf]

It didn't go perfectly.

Anyway, where would someone with an associates degree and a few years of office experience go about finding a job?

What happened?

I think he's implying he lost his job? But the way he's saying it, makes me lean more towards the idea that this was just a joke all along.