stories of getting introuble with the law! post em here!

[brooksieb]

well i'd like to meet that cop that arrested me must be about 60 or 70 now lol

[dcowboys055]

My friends were lighting fireworks at people (I was watching, not participating) who were walking on the trail below us (we were higher up sort of in the woods above the trail). Someone called the cops and they came and started looking for us but being the great outdoorsman I am (not) I escaped right under their noses and strolled out of the park right past the two cops waiting outside the park.
"Hey kid, you see any people in there lighting fireworks?"
"No, but I heard it"
"Ok, well get home and if you hear anything call and let the police know"
"Sure thing officer"

[brooksieb]

oh, being honest the police are the best gang in town though hands down

[ignotus]

I had my share of close encounters with blues: (not so) drunk driving ( just a bit drunk- 0,5 promille), listening to music loud at the party ( "hey kids, keep it down or we will be back"), playing football on private property (I got busted, then they asked for my personal information so I gave them false informations and the suckers never checked ).

[Dancing Mustard]

Well I have a story that's kind of about getting into trouble with the police that might fit in here:

Several years ago I was invited over to a friend of mine's house to drink a few beers and watch a movie on a quiet Saturday night, I didn't have any other plans so I agreed to join him. When I got round to his house, it must have been about nine in the evening, the door was answered by his mother who invited me inside. However she said that Ed had popped out for a while to see his girlfriend and I was welcome to wait in the lounge, apparently his woman had called him in a bit of a shit about something so he'd walked over to her house to sort things out. Anyway, I made myself at home on the sofa and opened up one of the beers; I was just thinking about putting the film on to pass the time when Ed's mother returned.
"So how are things" she asked
"Uh, not bad I guess" I replied
"How's school?"
"Yeah it's ok, assignments are pretty heavy right now, but there's only a few weeks till half-term" I replied, slightly awkward at having to converse with a grown-up
"So, do you have everything you need in here?" she went on, "Is there anything I can fetch you, or are you alright?"
"Yeah I'm fine Mrs Vleiland" I said, "I don't want to be any trouble..."
That was when things started to get kind of strange, Ed's mum sat down on the sofa next to me and said "Oh you're never any trouble at all DM", before sliding her hand onto my thigh.
I felt my leg jerk involuntarily at the shock; I was so embarassed that Ed's mother was being so familiar with me. Despite my nervous squirm her hand didn't move from my thigh, and I realised that I was kind of enjoying the feeling of having it there.
"Are you sure there's nothing I can get for you DM" she purred, her voice lower and huskier than before.
"Uh, well I dunno Mrs V" I stuttered still not sure what was happening.
"Perhaps I could get you something to entertain yourself with" she said, peeling her shirt up over her head and exposing her large pert breasts.
The sight of them gripped me with a feeling I'd never had before, something primal and instinctive; I leant forwards to caress her chest, holding her soft body in my hands and letting my tongue run wild across her skin. Moments later we had torn the clothing from each others bodies and my rock hard cock was in her hand.
She moved her hands skillfully up and down my shaft, coaxing a low moan from my lips; before I knew what was hapening her head bent down and her lips closed around my pulsing dick. She began sucking me and licking me with her tongue, it felt incredible, like no other woman I'd ever been with. Her experienced fluid motions brought me to the edge of climax and held me there with a preciscion I'd never dreamed possible.
Suddenly her head whipped up, "f*ck me" she commanded "Put your cock inside me and f*ck me till I scream".
I was powerless to resist, I got to my feet as she twisted to position herself over the arm of the sofa, her knees underneath her and her buttocks facing me. I slid the length of my shaft inside her and she let out a low groan, "f*ck yes" she said "f*ck me like that, f*ck me till I beg you for mercy".
I went at it like a man possessed, my buttocks thrusting back and forth, my abdomen slapping against her ass with every stroke. With each motion I crammed every inch of my penis into her soft flesh, and I began to feel sweat running down my back from the exertion. She bucked and squealed as I pounded her, "Spank me" she hissed, I raised my hand and brought it cracking down on her exposed ass leaving a red handprint on impact. She began moaning louder than before, and within seconds she was screaming with delight, I felt her body rock with climax as my dick ground against her.
We must have writhed like that for nearly fifteen minutes, her yelping with delight as I kept fucking and spanking her until eventually I threw back my head and felt myself cumming deep inside her.
"Holy fucking Christ" I breathed as I collapsed back onto the sofa, "That was the best sex I've ever had".
"Hell yes" Mrs V gasped as she looked at me over her shoulder "you were incredible".
Then a policeman burst through the living room door, whipped out his truncheon and used it to violate Mrs Vleiland's rectum. I watched in horror as he pounded her with it, but she didn't seem to mind so much and rode out the whole incident with a disinterested sort of look on her face. When it was over the cop wiped the instrument on the arm of the settee and disappeared out of the front door. I was pretty weirded out, so I had a cup of tea in the kitchen, took a pork-pie from the fridge and ate it on my way home. Ed never did show up.

The End.

[ignotus]

I was pretty weirded out, so I had a cup of tea in the kitchen, took a pork-pie from the fridge and ate it on my way home.

Did you spend a small fortune on a shrink? Well it didn't help.

[Fruitcake]

I got busted for bank fraud, along with a bunch of friends when we were at Uni. Does that count among these tales of derring do?

[brooksieb]

I got busted for bank fraud, along with a bunch of friends when we were at Uni. Does that count among these tales of derring do?

probably the best type of crime all you have to do is sit on a computer and that's it really, not to say crime is bad though

[brooksieb]

Well I have a story that's kind of about getting into trouble with the police that might fit in here:

Several years ago I was invited over to a friend of mine's house to drink a few beers and watch a movie on a quiet Saturday night, I didn't have any other plans so I agreed to join him. When I got round to his house, it must have been about nine in the evening, the door was answered by his mother who invited me inside. However she said that Ed had popped out for a while to see his girlfriend and I was welcome to wait in the lounge, apparently his woman had called him in a bit of a shit about something so he'd walked over to her house to sort things out. Anyway, I made myself at home on the sofa and opened up one of the beers; I was just thinking about putting the film on to pass the time when Ed's mother returned.
"So how are things" she asked
"Uh, not bad I guess" I replied
"How's school?"
"Yeah it's ok, assignments are pretty heavy right now, but there's only a few weeks till half-term" I replied, slightly awkward at having to converse with a grown-up
"So, do you have everything you need in here?" she went on, "Is there anything I can fetch you, or are you alright?"
"Yeah I'm fine Mrs Vleiland" I said, "I don't want to be any trouble..."
That was when things started to get kind of strange, Ed's mum sat down on the sofa next to me and said "Oh you're never any trouble at all DM", before sliding her hand onto my thigh.
I felt my leg jerk involuntarily at the shock; I was so embarassed that Ed's mother was being so familiar with me. Despite my nervous squirm her hand didn't move from my thigh, and I realised that I was kind of enjoying the feeling of having it there.
"Are you sure there's nothing I can get for you DM" she purred, her voice lower and huskier than before.
"Uh, well I dunno Mrs V" I stuttered still not sure what was happening.
"Perhaps I could get you something to entertain yourself with" she said, peeling her shirt up over her head and exposing her large pert breasts.
The sight of them gripped me with a feeling I'd never had before, something primal and instinctive; I leant forwards to caress her chest, holding her soft body in my hands and letting my tongue run wild across her skin. Moments later we had torn the clothing from each others bodies and my rock hard cock was in her hand.
She moved her hands skillfully up and down my shaft, coaxing a low moan from my lips; before I knew what was hapening her head bent down and her lips closed around my pulsing dick. She began sucking me and licking me with her tongue, it felt incredible, like no other woman I'd ever been with. Her experienced fluid motions brought me to the edge of climax and held me there with a preciscion I'd never dreamed possible.
Suddenly her head whipped up, "f*ck me" she commanded "Put your cock inside me and f*ck me till I scream".
I was powerless to resist, I got to my feet as she twisted to position herself over the arm of the sofa, her knees underneath her and her buttocks facing me. I slid the length of my shaft inside her and she let out a low groan, "f*ck yes" she said "f*ck me like that, f*ck me till I beg you for mercy".
I went at it like a man possessed, my buttocks thrusting back and forth, my abdomen slapping against her ass with every stroke. With each motion I crammed every inch of my penis into her soft flesh, and I began to feel sweat running down my back from the exertion. She bucked and squealed as I pounded her, "Spank me" she hissed, I raised my hand and brought it cracking down on her exposed ass leaving a red handprint on impact. She began moaning louder than before, and within seconds she was screaming with delight, I felt her body rock with climax as my dick ground against her.
We must have writhed like that for nearly fifteen minutes, her yelping with delight as I kept fucking and spanking her until eventually I threw back my head and felt myself cumming deep inside her.
"Holy fucking Christ" I breathed as I collapsed back onto the sofa, "That was the best sex I've ever had".
"Hell yes" Mrs V gasped as she looked at me over her shoulder "you were incredible".
Then a policeman burst through the living room door, whipped out his truncheon and used it to violate Mrs Vleiland's rectum. I watched in horror as he pounded her with it, but she didn't seem to mind so much and rode out the whole incident with a disinterested sort of look on her face. When it was over the cop wiped the instrument on the arm of the settee and disappeared out of the front door. I was pretty weirded out, so I had a cup of tea in the kitchen, took a pork-pie from the fridge and ate it on my way home. Ed never did show up.

The End.

how old was his mum? and is this actually true i'll believe you if you say yes

[El Capitan X]

A true, but very sad story:

Just the other day, I got so drunk it's a wonder I am still alive. No no no, that wasn't the problem. The problem was, when I woke up I seemed to have misplaced my penis. After finally waking up with a massive headache, I looked down, and nothing... You see, I have a detachable penis.

I leave it at home when I know it could cause some trouble. The problem is, I went to that party and I forgot to take it off before I left. So I woke up and it had disappeared. I desperately looked everywhere for it. I called the party host and asked him if he had seen it. He told me he hadn't, so I told him to look in the medicine cabinet (I sometimes leave it there). He checked, but nothing.

So being the headstrong man that I am, I went to the police to file a 'missing report.'

When he asked me for the name of the child, I simply said "Dick" and filled out the report. It was quite difficult, being that the form was intended for children, and I was looking for my penis.

So I filled out the form as best I could, and gave it the policeman. He looked at me in awe. He thought it was some sick joke. I took off my pants and showed him. I helped him up and when he became conscious again, the motherfucker placed me under arrest.

I have still yet to find my penis, and I now have a criminal record. So are the consequences for having a detachable penis. You have been warned.


-ECX

[kingprawn]

I wonder what the consequences are for having detachable penis envy?

[Gregrios]

On a warm summer's night, a car load of us was driving down a country road when we noticed police lights up ahead. I was in the front passenger seat and there were 3 in back. We were all drinking whiskey in glasses with the 40 right in between the front seats. I told the guys that if we got pulled over that I would take the open liquir fine.

Sure enough we got pulled over. I hid the 40 under the seat before the cop had got to the car. The driver was asked to go back to the police car for a breathlizer test while the rest of us waited in the car. He somehow passed the test.

While waiting for his return to the car, I expressed my worries on the likelyhood of the cops searching the car. My friend assured me that they have got to have the permission of the driver inorder to search the car. As gullable as I was, I believed him.

The cop came to my side of the car and asked me to step outside. I quickly locked the door and asked him if he had permission from the driver. After the driver and the cops expalined to me that that isn't how it works, I reluctently opened the door.

Once I and the passangers stepped out of the car, they started searching the car. Once the cops got in the car, one of them mentioned that it stunk of liquir. With a last ditch effort to avert their attention from the 40, I said "I'm drunk as a skunk." Hoping that they would just assume that I was the cause of the smell. One of them looked at the other and said Mr. ------ says he's drunk as a skunk and he smells like one to. It was not good enough though as one of the cops pulled the 40 from under the seat and looked right at me as I claimed possession.

Since they knew me quite well from other experiences he asked me "Don't you know by now Greg that the 1st place we check is under the seat?" I then told him "Where else can you hide a 40 other than under the seat. It's just too big."

Well folks, that's one of my more mild brushes with the law. Definitely the most memorable. Hope you've enjoyed.

[Lazy_Pilgrim]

Last week was the last week of uni (for me anyways as iv now quit) so as you do i got quite drunk on saturday before I left to travel back and unfortunatly live with the parents for a few months. I dont no if it was me but i got punched full face mot once but twice in two seperate pubs by bouncers.
Not really very exciting but i cant really explain all the other weird stuff thats happened since christmas.
Btw anyone ever tried to kiss an on duty poilcewoman?

[Gregrios]

Last week was the last week of uni (for me anyways as iv now quit) so as you do i got quite drunk on saturday before I left to travel back and unfortunatly live with the parents for a few months. I dont no if it was me but i got punched full face mot once but twice in two seperate pubs by bouncers.
Not really very exciting but i cant really explain all the other weird stuff thats happened since christmas.
Btw anyone ever tried to kiss an on duty poilcewoman?

No but I tryed hitting on one from the back seat of a cop car. For some reason she wasn't that into me. It blows my mind. How could a chick not dig me? I thought that sort of thing was impossible.

[Lazy_Pilgrim]

Last week was the last week of uni (for me anyways as iv now quit) so as you do i got quite drunk on saturday before I left to travel back and unfortunatly live with the parents for a few months. I dont no if it was me but i got punched full face mot once but twice in two seperate pubs by bouncers.
Not really very exciting but i cant really explain all the other weird stuff thats happened since christmas.
Btw anyone ever tried to kiss an on duty poilcewoman?

No but I tryed hitting on one from the back seat of a cop car. For some reason she wasn't that into me. It blows my mind. How could a chick not dig me? I thought that sort of thing was impossible.

yeah some how its never like the movies, i always expect them to start stripping after my first cheesy 1 liner

[Anarkistsdream]

The statute of limitations will never be over, so sorry.

[Lazy_Pilgrim]

I just recon its because for once they have bigger truntions than us.

[Gregrios]

Last week was the last week of uni (for me anyways as iv now quit) so as you do i got quite drunk on saturday before I left to travel back and unfortunatly live with the parents for a few months. I dont no if it was me but i got punched full face mot once but twice in two seperate pubs by bouncers.
Not really very exciting but i cant really explain all the other weird stuff thats happened since christmas.
Btw anyone ever tried to kiss an on duty poilcewoman?

No but I tryed hitting on one from the back seat of a cop car. For some reason she wasn't that into me. It blows my mind. How could a chick not dig me? I thought that sort of thing was impossible.

yeah some how its never like the movies, i always expect them to start stripping after my first cheesy 1 liner

LOL. Yeah I know what you mean. I think the one I was using that night was, "Havn't we met somewhere before baby?" She wouldn't even look at me nor respond. Far from my expectations.

[reminisco]

I just recon its because for once they have bigger truntions than us.

i think it's spelled truncheons. fyi.

not trying to flame you, just school you.

[Lazy_Pilgrim]

I just recon its because for once they have bigger truntions than us.

i think it's spelled truncheons. fyi.

not trying to flame you, just school you.

It did look wrong after I had typed it but I will blame the stella. This thread its tempting me to commit crime right now but short of running into my parents room with an air horn im shot for ideas.

[Anarkistsdream]

I just recon its because for once they have bigger truntions than us.

i think it's spelled truncheons. fyi.

not trying to flame you, just school you.

It did look wrong after I had typed it but I will blame the stella. This thread its tempting me to commit crime right now but short of running into my parents room with an air horn im shot for ideas.

Bricks through windows...

Sugar in gas tanks.

Cum in milk.

[Lazy_Pilgrim]

Bricks through windows...

Its raining outside plus short of knocking down a wall i dont think there are any briks to use.

Sugar in gas tanks.

I need the car tomorow

Cum in milk.

I will forget any probably drink it myself tomorow

I might let the dog out the back and get him to bark then go to bed so some else has to get up an get him back in, not really a crime but still prety annoying[/b]

[Anarkistsdream]

Bricks through windows...

Its raining outside plus short of knocking down a wall i dont think there are any briks to use.

Sugar in gas tanks.

I need the car tomorow

Cum in milk.

I will forget any probably drink it myself tomorow

I might let the dog out the back and get him to bark then go to bed so some else has to get up an get him back in, not really a crime but still prety annoying[/b]

So lame yet oddly hilarious.

[Fruitcake]

I got busted for bank fraud, along with a bunch of friends when we were at Uni. Does that count among these tales of derring do?

probably the best type of crime all you have to do is sit on a computer and that's it really, not to say crime is bad though

It may be computers today, but this was when everything was updated at close of business only so all info was a day old. We 3 reprobates felt like Highway robbers as we gathered in the Students bar, our pockets literally bulging with some serious cash.

We got caught of course, as one does. A member of our ‘Gang’ only decided to chat up some attractive young lady at a party a few weeks later and she happened to be a teller from one of the said banks who recognised him!

Sent up in front of the beak, we got seriously hauled across the coals, but the Banks had decided they did not feel it would do any good to press for any serious response seeing as we had exposed a loophole in their systems which they closed off sharpish, and we were in our final year, about to join the great unwashed trying to earn a living. We were fined and ordered to pay the money back (which, I am ashamed to say I never did, having treated myself to an illusive MGC sports car) and away we went.

When I told my Father years later what I had done, he laughed until he cried, explaining to me, we had effectively replicated the same ‘job’ as a film producer (or somesuch) back in the 50s, this guy had got away with a huge amount of money.

The irony of it all is I opened an account some months later, with one of these banks, and have been with them ever since, in turn, they have made small fortunes off my endeavours through loans and charges!

[Kid_A]

I was 19 she was 16, but her titties were like 25!!

ridiculously hot hawaiian girl with huuuuuuge titties!!!

we were ****ing in my back seat, in a parking lot because im a fucking moron.

cops saw us. asked how old she was. she said she was 18, but didnt have any ID. Sooooo lucky they decided to let me go!

I dont think i have ever been so scared in my life! all i could think about was getting arrested and charged with statutory rape, then going to prison and getting raped in the ass and mouth everyday for the next few years!

I was so terrified that I actually got sick the next day! I'm such a pussy