Conquer Club

When ever i watch a nature programme, all other animals just seem to give birth with no noise.
They often have babies that are larger than humans in comparison to body size as a percentage.

Why do women scream? (are they just whimps?) - I think if men could bear children, men would make a lot less noise, drive home from the hospital and be back at work the next day.

Pedronicus wrote:Why do women scream? (are they just whimps?) - I think if men could bear children, men would make a lot less noise, drive home from the hospital and be back at work the next day.

The next day? We could do it during lunch break.

Pedronicus wrote:When ever i watch a nature programme, all other animals just seem to give birth with no noise.
They often have babies that are larger than humans in comparison to body size as a percentage.

Why do women scream? (are they just whimps?) - I think if men could bear children, men would make a lot less noise, drive home from the hospital and be back at work the next day.

You really want to piss off a lot of mothers don't you.

yeah lets see you not scream as your vagina rips from the process of crowning
a woman that goes all natural is in more pain than you will ever be in your life
and animals do make grunting and whining noises when they give birth at least my dogs and cats always did
however women who have epidurals have no right to scream

Dude...she ate the apple....

apey wrote:yeah lets see you not scream as your vagina rips from the process of crowning
a woman that goes all natural is in more pain than you will ever be in your life
and animals do make grunting and whining noises when they give birth at least my dogs and cats always did
however women who have epidurals have no right to scream

Definitely don't want to be around when Pedro's vagina tears. How does one become a tight sex goddess once again after your vagina looks like it has been torn apart by a pack of hungry wolves? Corrective surgery, or perhaps duct tape?

only the whimpy women scream. you only feel like you are gonna die for a little while.
the the screaming does nothing to help the process..it just makes you lose concentration

men wouldn't be better at giving birth...most are worse then women

the first time I gave birth I screamed like a little girl but I had to go 100 percent natural
the second and third times were not so bad (got Demerol) the fourth time I did just fine all natural but it hurt like a bitch

You should read the original stuff from the 70s about Lamaze. The theory is that you have an entire culture of pain that surrounds human childbirth, and that defeats the ability of women to naturally let the body produce the endorphins that would make painless natural childbirth possible.

I'm not a chick, so I have no idea if it's possible, but if it were, I'd think that since the 70s to now, more people would go through LaMazze and by now the "culture of pain" would be on the decline. However, childbirth is an uncomfortable topic, so probably not many mothers, even if they did natural childbirth, are going around telling their daughters: it didn't hurt, it was like taking a really really big sh&t. Nope. That conversation's not going to happen in our culture. And also modern medicine turned the corner some time again onto the path of medicated symptom management (but try getting doctors to give you a zpack when you've got a bad cold... they all think you have to be near death first or you'll be responsible for breeding the next super-germ!)

i had Demerol with my first.. needles are not my thing, so i was afraid of a epidural. i went natural with the rest. like i said, it only feels like you are gonna die for a little while.

And now for a joke:

A couple is having their first child and they are all excited. The husband is too nervous to go into the delivery room, so he waits in the waiting room. When it's over, and everything is settle down, and they finally have a quiet moment together, he asks the wife: "So how was it?"
Wife responds, "Well, first put your whole hand in your mouth..."
DH does.
"Now make put your other hand in your mouth..."
DH does.
"Now stretch out your fingers a big as you can make them..."
And he does it.
"Now pull out your lips and wrap them around the back of your head!"

When we were expecting our 2nd child we went through the Bradley Method. One of the videos we watched had P.J. Soles giving birth. Whenever I catch "Stripes" again I'll never look at P.J. the same way anymore.

apey wrote:
a woman that goes all natural is in more pain than you will ever be in your life

How do you know this? Have you ever been kicked in the scrotum? No? Well then i think a more accurate way of phrasing your opinion would be "more pain than i will ever be in my life". Just a thought.


Honibaz

b.k. barunt wrote:

apey wrote:
a woman that goes all natural is in more pain than you will ever be in your life

How do you know this? Have you ever been kicked in the scrotum? No? Well then i think a more accurate way of phrasing your opinion would be "more pain than i will ever be in my life". Just a thought.


Honibaz

sorry bk But it is a medical fact that there is no pain worse than childbirth except maybe and this is just a maybe passing a kidney stone and on another note getting kicked in the balls, the pain lasts how long? Giving birth can take days
But you are right i have never been kicked in the balls nor will i ever be so maybe you are right

I saw a video of a guy getting hit in the balls with a tennis ball travelling at 50 MPH. They even had a medic there, in case his heart rate went so high that it caused a heart attack or some other nasty thing... The guys heart rate did get up to 182 beats per minute, though no heart attack.

I was standing on the back door step of my mum and dads house one day amd my then girlfriend was mucking around kicking me lightly.
She managed to lightly kick me in the bollox. The top of the step was about 18" from the patio. The pain shot through me like electricity. I fell forward like a stiff plank of wood clutching my nads. I smashed my face into the concrete and the pain I felt in my nose / mouth / forehead didn't register. the overriding pain was still emanating from my cods.
I lay there with blood pouring from my cut eye, busted nose, split lip. Shivering like a man in a freezer just waiting for my nuts to STOP FUCKING HURTING

Yep, they're a real sensitive area, btw, both testicles and painful childbirth are examples of stupid design.

Just anotehr reason why god isn't real and the whole world is just an elaborate episode of punk'd.

Then again, if Darwin was right, by now my family jewels would be safely esconced behind something safe - like my pelvic bone.


Honibaz

Pedronicus wrote:When ever i watch a nature programme, all other animals just seem to give birth with no noise.
They often have babies that are larger than humans in comparison to body size as a percentage.

Why do women scream? (are they just whimps?) - I think if men could bear children, men would make a lot less noise, drive home from the hospital and be back at work the next day.

Human heads are larger by proportion than other creatures. its like passing a watermelon from your ass. it hurts. unless you would be comfortable pushing a walnut from your penis, don't down the ladies for their agony during labor.

Sounds like a pretty good reason to not have kids... yet they keep doing it...

Aye, there's the rub. Women actually are drawn to pain like a moth to flame. They can't live without it, for it gives them an excuse to resent us, and obscures the real reason (penis envy).


Honibaz

Neoteny wrote:Sounds like a pretty good reason to not have kids... yet they keep doing it...

yes. women should have stopped having babies right before your mother got knocked up.

i tried to perform corrective surgery on my girlfriend after she gave birth once but i accidently sowed her anus shut now she makes poopsies through her giny

apey wrote:

b.k. barunt wrote:

apey wrote:
a woman that goes all natural is in more pain than you will ever be in your life

How do you know this? Have you ever been kicked in the scrotum? No? Well then i think a more accurate way of phrasing your opinion would be "more pain than i will ever be in my life". Just a thought.


Honibaz

sorry bk But it is a medical fact that there is no pain worse than childbirth except maybe and this is just a maybe passing a kidney stone and on another note getting kicked in the balls, the pain lasts how long? Giving birth can take days
But you are right i have never been kicked in the balls nor will i ever be so maybe you are right

Even getting riddled with bullets used for AK-47 style bullets (me).