Conquer Club

... to start a business, would you accept it and - if so - what business would you start? I will take no equity in your business.

Something boringly bluechip (or as bluechip as you can for 400k free capital, which is surprisingly a lot - youd be able to leverage that up quite significantly with little in the way of risk).

Probably locally a stand alone electricity retailer (ie with no generation to support it) that dabbles in the energy derivative market.

In the US I'd find some subsidy and exploit that (or spend 200k of the 400 lobbying for a subsidy to exploit?). Isn't that how you get rich in the US?

Lootifer wrote:Something boringly bluechip (or as bluechip as you can for 400k free capital, which is surprisingly a lot - youd be able to leverage that up quite significantly with little in the way of risk).

Probably locally a stand alone electricity retailer (ie with no generation to support it) that dabbles in the energy derivative market.

In the US I'd find some subsidy and exploit that (or spend 200k of the 400 lobbying for a subsidy to exploit?). Isn't that how you get rich in the US?

wrong answer

mods, please edit "Lootifer's" reply to -

Lootifer wrote:spinning club / smoothie bar

Next?

Horel.

2dimes wrote:Horel.

wrong answer; it's spelled "Hormel" and they don't have franchises

mods, please edit "2dimes" answer to -

2dimes wrote:au pair consultant

Next?

saxitoxin wrote:
mods, please edit "Lootifer's" reply to -

Lootifer wrote:spinning club / smoothie bar

Next?

I shall call it Meester Twinks.

Lootifer wrote:

saxitoxin wrote:
mods, please edit "Lootifer's" reply to -

Lootifer wrote:spinning club / smoothie bar

Next?

I shall call it Meester Twinks.

Named after the staff or the customers?

I have at least 5 great ideas, but I'll only pitch the greatest: My Ultimate Chili Haus.

(If you're wondering why we spell it "Haus", it's because the commercials will be done by Schwarzenegger. Not the pussified modern Schwarzenegger, either, but the Honest-to-God 1980 version.)

The Ultimate Chili Haus will explore the full range of chili options.

The complete range of price options, from El Cheapo Chili (no gourmet treat, but if you're down on your luck and you need something hot in your belly it will do the trick) to hoity-toity hand-chopped Kobe Beef chili (served in gold teacups with an accompanying Vivaldi soundtrack.)

The complete range of "vores", from the totally carnivorous Lone Star Chili (nothing but meat and chili, no vegetable matter other than chili is even allowed in the same room during preparation) to the absolutely vegan Gaia's Tears Chili (not only are there no animal products of any kind whatsoever in it, but it's produced by sworn vegans in a separate building, and even cars with leather seats are prohibited from the parking lot.)

Finally, the complete range of heat options, from Doctor's Choice Chili (certified by an advisory panel of gastrointestinal surgeons to be safe even for patients with pre-existing bleeding ulcers) to Thermonuclear Warhead, simply the hottest thing on the planet short of all-out nuclear war.

Thermonuclear Warhead is my personal favourite from a marketing viewpoint. It's literally the Triumph of Reverse Psychology. The advertising for the product will openly admit that it's dangerous and unhealthy. In the hipper publications the line will be, "no sane person would eat this, but if you're going to a fraternity hazing and you need to prove that your balls are bigger than your brain, we have your number." It will need to be ordered in advance; you will need to pay a large deposit, provide proof of age of majority and proof of medical coverage. On the day of your appointment, you will show up, pay an ENORMOUS price, and wait for a suitably dramatic few minutes, while your frat brothers snicker. Then, the product will be brought out by a waitress with gigantic tits wearing a nuclear cleanup survival suit. Accompanied by a doctor, a priest, and a litigation lawyer, she will again recommend that you not eat the shit, and get you to sign a waiver before serving it to you.

Anyone who even leans forward and sniffs will develop massive boils in their nasal passages. If you really do work up the courage to stick it in your mouth, you will be hospitalized for six weeks, but you will have street cred forever.

This is what is known as a Guaranteed Success.

Thermonuclear Warhead is mainly a publicity stunt, of course. So is the Kobe Beef Chili. The bread-and-butter of the operation will be the large daily sales of El Cheapo Chili and items from the middle price ranges.

Offer 250k as a prize for an 8 man gladitorial tournament.
various historical weapons,hand to hand,no holds barred fights to the death.
You know you would watch.
The other 150k either goes to properly licensing, televising, and advertising
Or bribing government officials to look the other way and paying a good tech guy to untraceably upload it to one of those pay to view sites.
If it were legal i would clean up on advertising/pay per view/legal gambling profits.
If we're stuck going underground the pay per view could go up and the gambling money is still certainly there(tax free!)
Not too mention the ticket prices
I imagine i could get 5-6 hundred a pop for good seats.
Pepsi center, here i come.
Ill take my 400,000k and give saxi his money back plus interest within a few months.
Lets make a deal mr. Toxin, say 15 percent yearly interest?

Endgame422 wrote:Lets make a deal mr. Toxin, say 15 percent yearly interest?

I'm still debating between which will bring in the bigger lawsuit, this one or Dukasaur's toxic waste soup kitchen. I'd like to hear some other ideas before deciding. Otherwise I might end up going with Lootifer's gay smoothie bar.

saxitoxin wrote:... to start a business, would you accept it and - if so - what business would you start? I will take no equity in your business.

400k? US???

If you can't beat em, join em!

j/k

seriously though, for 400k I think I could get a meeting with Mike Tyson, pitch him the idea of my (PHATSCOTTY'S) guaranteed plan for him to take the heavyweight championship in 2015, and keep it until 2035, and that plan includes at least 3 fights a year, every year until 2035, the champion of an entire generation! I will make all this happen, Tyson doesn't have to do ANYTHING but show up for the fight on time, win the fight, and I expect him to 'work' about 15 minutes a year, and one other, small thing. We'll get to that small thing in a minute..... HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS OF DOLLARS CAN BE MADE! Sound good? What's the catch you ask? What's my take as his manager?- The standard rate (15% of everything after your taxes) plus you pay 35 per shower and 15 per towel J?K? Mike? MIKE! chill, chillll. Jay-playin, you know jay playin? nah, Jay aint hatin. Jay-playin. Youw know Jay play! Allllllllll day big BA-bay!@ Don't believe in Jay-Watch!
:dancing for no reason: singing I thought I told ya we won't stop, thought I told ya we won't stop. ner eh-, neh-eh, eh-eh-EH! Ok now Mike Tyson is mad-doggin on me with crazy eyes, so I so, okay, here's how all works and will happen. Ready?


(2:25)

Meekah Tyson, Women's heavyweight champion of the world

probably not very profitable but... open a car restauration garage for high quality models. not sure 400k would be enough for a top notch one though with all the equipment it requires and to pay employees for the first year..

I would register as many dirty words in foreign languages that I could reasonably afford as URLs, then lease them out to the inevitable new wave of internet trolls in developing nations.

Buy hunting grounds, kill animals and sell their skinned carcasses to people, and doing this without paying taxes!
Its win win i get to hunt, and own my own hunting ground and earn money while cheating the government! Much like i already do today but on a BIGGER scale ... win win win!

invest $400,000 ... in reusable sex dolls
Full body size big breast $750 A doll who wants one

Buy shares in the welfare recipient drug test kits. Florida has signed it into law and those babies are going to skyrocket with all the republicans holding shares.

Id buy a really nice Porsche and rent it out...sometimes...well...id rent out my truck anyways. Too risky to rent the porsche, that would just be bad business right?

Lootifer wrote:Something boringly bluechip (or as bluechip as you can for 400k free capital, which is surprisingly a lot - youd be able to leverage that up quite significantly with little in the way of risk).

Please explain exactly how you'd "leverage up" (great verb by the way) your capital with "little risk".....been running small biz for 25 years and was a commercial lender before that....teach me seymore!

Great thread ;o) I like PS's idea the best so far....plus Mikey would just be great to hang with!

Sadly, Starbucks franchises have a hell of a success rate in the right location....I'm just to damn ornery to actually go in one....

I would start a business where I could work on hotrods and drink beer 24/7....figure it would last at least 7 years and by then I'd probly be dead anyway!

I would take the money and run

You'd never see or hear from me again

I'd start an upscale cigar lounge/sports bar. It's a multifaceted idea. I need to have a large walk-in humidor, with literally thousands of cigars to choose from. I want essentially two separate bars, connected to each other. One is the lounge, for smoking, the other side, strictly sports bar. The hook is in the cigar menu, which is so good an idea that I must keep it secret on this forum, and will only divulge once half the money has been deposited into my account. Thanks for your time.

Bollocks.

TeeGee wrote:I would take the money and run

You'd never see or hear from me again

In my mind, $400,000 is not quite enough to disappear on.

Bollocks.

Serbia wrote:

TeeGee wrote:I would take the money and run

You'd never see or hear from me again

In my mind, $400,000 is not quite enough to disappear on.

Bollocks.

for TeeGee to disappear from a website it is

Endgame422 wrote:Offer 250k as a prize for an 8 man gladitorial tournament.
various historical weapons,hand to hand,no holds barred fights to the death.
You know you would watch.
The other 150k either goes to properly licensing, televising, and advertising
Or bribing government officials to look the other way and paying a good tech guy to untraceably upload it to one of those pay to view sites.
If it were legal i would clean up on advertising/pay per view/legal gambling profits.
If we're stuck going underground the pay per view could go up and the gambling money is still certainly there(tax free!)
Not too mention the ticket prices
I imagine i could get 5-6 hundred a pop for good seats.
Pepsi center, here i come.
Ill take my 400,000k and give saxi his money back plus interest within a few months.
Lets make a deal mr. Toxin, say 15 percent yearly interest?

Silly bloodthirsty greenies, bloodsports are for Texans!

Me? A burger place. That simple.

I'd probably start my own gaming store. Have a place with enough space for a good stock of different game types plus a room where games could be played.

Depending on the budget I might also have a section for models and model railroading.

One section would have to be for miniature painting.

Demos, classes and games would be common.

I would use it to fulfill my biggest goal in life: f*ck AoG's sister, f*ck every gf he has, f*ck his wife and finally f*ck his first daughter. Record it, and then show it to him by putting a tv on the floor.