Welcome Comrades to the 95th edition of the Dispatch
This is the first of a new way of doing things. You will get a teaser in your inbox and the announcements but the newsletter will be here where it belongs. Given I have sent ou the teaser I won't repeat that here this issue as I really want some feedback on this idea.
Otherwise, it's a sad goodbye to Koontz1973 who has given 50 issues of sterling service to us. He will be sorely missed and Seamus is all alone so some more writers please step up!
Otherwise, it's a pleasure to bring you this fantastic edition of the Dispatch.
In the words of Thomas A. Edison:
Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.
Enjoy the fruit of our labouring fingers!
[player]thehippo8[/player]
Chief Executive
If you would like to apply to join the news team, please visit the thread below for more details!
Click here for Recruitment Details...
Hello again readers. Doom brings us some Yoshi Updates, I have another Scum Insider, and chemefreak discusses being a CD, the law, and dinosaurs.
You Stay Classy, CC.
[player]safariguy5[/player]
Freestyle Executive
Yoshi Update by DoomYoshi
Monthly Challenge by DoomYoshi
The Scum Insider by safariguy5
[spoiler=Interrogation of chemefreak]Q. Are you angry all the time IRL too?
Great question to start out with! Yes and no. IRL people can’t hide behind avatars. So what I would say is that I am capable of being angry IRL all the time, but I usually don’t have to be. There is a certain level of respect I am treated with IRL that is lacking on CC sometimes. As a Moderator I am sure you can appreciate this. With the exception of Admin and C&A I don’t think any other type of Moderator has to put up with as much as we do as CDs. Additionally, how often as a chatter do you get attacked by a TD or a MH…in public for doing your job? Happens to us CDs all the time. Tough to set guidelines for regular players when fellow Team CC’ers ignore them at their whim. So when this respect isn’t there, it frustrates me for sure which leads to the assumption that I am angry. So I guess, no I am not angry all the time IRL.
Q. How did you enjoy or not enjoy your time under my leadership of the CD team?
I enjoyed it very much. It is unfortunate that we will not get to enjoy the fruits of your labors going forward. The CCup will be a success. Of this I have no doubt. Unfortunately, it appears, someone had to take the bullet. As a leader, you did just that. Not sure what else you can ask for from a boss? In the future I think those who know what you did for clans will look back at your reign and judge it a success. You will also get the credit/blame for CDF! If it becomes CLA v2.0 I know I am going to blame you! But, the verdict is still out on that group. We will have to see how it evolves.
Q. If you could have one update tomorrow, what would it be and why?
SITTING FEATURE! Personally, I have always been insulted that no one has ever call me out for an account sitting violation… they probably figure me playing the turns gives them an advantage! Can you imagine players thinking that you are SO GOOD that if you took all your team’s turns it would put them at a disadvantage? I guess no one wants to play FOUR CoFs! In all seriousness though, jpcloet (the primary reason we have a “clan world”) gave up his job over sitting issues. We just drafted a set of rules to cover sitting in clans so it is clearly still a front issue. Do I think it will ever happen? Nope. So given that there isn’t much chance of this update, perhaps we could just get our expanded clan medals so I can give TheCrown and the other past and current members of TNC a medal sometime. Some of them have at least 5-10 stored medals that the system won’t allow me to issue.
Q. When will you remove my (smegal69) Medal?
Never. Oh, and yes I can. With the click of a button.
Q. Should clan wars have a lot more smack talk in them, as it is a war and not some kind of hippie hugs fest?
Clan wars should be knockdown, smack-talk fests! That is, clan war THREADS should be peppered with all kinds of smack talk. The general clan forum, the join/create a clan forum, and most other threads that are not clan war related should be treated as normal threads. Now, I will say this, in my 2.5 years as a CD only ONE player has ever been “site punished” for something said, posted, or done in a clan war thread. Players hit that little upside-down triangle thingy all the time in clans. Those are always looked at, but never usually acted on. But again, there is only ONE I can think of that ever went higher than the CDs. My general rule is if it does not offend my version of the lowest form of human dignity (a very high bar) then the content is okay. However, just for instance mind you, a picture with a mammal stroking another mammal’s erect penis is a little bit much, but when you put a nametag on the stroker that corresponds to a current CC player…that crosses even my line! So make the war threads as hostile as you want, but follow two general rules (1) if what you put in there would make the average person gag, leave it out and (2) don’t mock the Moderators. Most likely, if we post in your war thread, someone has complained and so we are just trying cool things down for a bit. When the next post is a post quoting our post with a disrespectful comment…well, that is when clans lose medals…
Q. Ass or breast man?
Definitely breasts.
Q. How awesome was it when one player and his multies beat an entire clan?
Well, when we (++The Legion++) lost to you and your multies by 30 games it hurt pretty fucking bad! But still, pretty awesome.
Q. How have you managed to sustain your interest in CC?
Easy. I love my clan, ++The Legion++. If I were just logging on every day and taking turns with anonymous partners or as a loner in standard play games, I’m pretty sure I would have stopped playing years ago. But the camaraderie of my clanmates and the intensity of the rolls in meaningful clan games keep me coming back for more. [Or, if you prefer, the massive power trip I get from being a CD…muahahahahaha]
Q. What kind of attorney are you? I (danryan) imagine you chasing ambulances at top speed, desperately trying to finish your cc turns on your laptop between clients.
Hehe. I am primarily a trial attorney. But my areas of specialty are business and tax. So I do a lot of contract litigation and work in the United States Tax Court. However, back in the day before I became my own boss, I did chase an ambulance or two! These days though, our firm is pretty tech-heavy. So I have a Mac Mini at home attached to big television for a monitor. I have a similar set-up in my office. I also have a MacBook, Ipad, and Iphone. And, of course, everything that can load Firefox with BOB and clickable maps has it loaded! So I would say I am at or around a computer about 18 hours a day…and I play CC whenever I can. Hell, I have posted during a break in court before and I play a lot while I am defending depositions (Yawn)! My ambulance chasing days ended before I joined CC.
Q. What makes you want to continue when everyone gives you so much crap about the great service you do for CC?
Well, first, thank you for noticing (the great service, not the crap!) Honestly, I really don’t notice the crap anymore. You get so used to it that you just let it roll right by you. Also I often have to make sure to remind myself that it is just an online game where people roll imaginary attacker cubes! The main reason I continue is my clan. So the better environment I can curate for my clan, the better it will be for my clan. I feel that the clan world is better with me, than without me. Probably a bit egotistical, but I think overall this is the truth. At least, this is the thought that keeps me going during the dark times!
Q. What would be one thing you've done in your position you might wish to reconsider or do over how it was handled?
I’ve noodled this question for a while and I can’t think of any one big thing (or mistake) that I would reconsider. A lot of stuff has happened in 2.5 years. I think there have been some rocky transitions from time to time, but I think the clan world always got to where we envisioned it would (and should) go. Now, on a daily basis, I think that I have become a bit jaded with some players that I call “the usual posters” (the “ups” or “tups”). I wish there was a way to reset my relationship with (some of) these players and see if it is as bad as I really think it is. So I would say that if I were to reconsider anything it would be whether these players actually deserve the sharp side of my tongue every time they post. Additionally, I guess, I would have taken up CCup3 when chuuuuck went awol. I was just too busy in RL to do it correctly. In hindsight, it is clear that it would have avoided a lot of unpleasantness that followed had the CDs just done it from the jump. But, alas, Dako came in (and did a great job) and the rest is history.
Q. What do you think about leehar taking over the clan section?
Well, I hate the circumstances. But there is nothing we can do about it. I think Leehar will do and has been doing a great job as the Head CD. I’m looking forward to working with him for a long time.
Q. Were you offered the position first?
No. The Head CD position has never been offered to me.
Q. Are you pissed off because you do the main part of work issuing medals sorting out clan wars etc and were overlooked for the head cd after your long time service to that department?
I wouldn’t say, “overlooked”. I would say that when jpcloet left and when Masli left Admin made it clear that they wanted to promote from a high level within Team CC. Both Masli and Bruceswar had held positions within Team CC that granted them higher (more) access than I had. Also, Andy and I got along pretty well. So he politically (and correctly) mentioned to me that I am just a fucking lightning rod and they didn’t see it as a rational course of action to promote me. I didn’t disagree. When Bruceswar was “removed?” the CDs actually huddled on Skype and discussed what we thought we should do. Everyone asked everyone else if they wanted to be an option and I declined. We then decided that Leehar would be great and he was willing to take the position. Admin agreed, and there you go. So, “overlooked” is not really accurate in this situation. And no, I am not pissed off about anything with regards to my treatment in any of these situations. I have been lucky to work under great Head CDs and to work with a dedicated and talented group of people for 2.5 years. I have also been able to stay out of the crosshairs to some degree, which is a luxury the Head CD does not have.
Q. How much time do you spend on CC a day?
Well, I am able to play pretty much anytime due to my virtually unlimited access to a computer/tablet/phone. I would say that I actually spend 5-6 hours a day somewhat paying attention to CC. Whether it be playing my games, arranging games for my clan, or CD stuff (medals, moderating, etc.)
Q. Do you still have goals you'd like to reach?
I tried to get excited about medals. I did. But I just couldn’t. I hate freestyle and trench is an absolute abomination. So there are medals I have no intention of ever getting. I would like to see ++The Legion++ climb its way back into the top 10. I remember back in the day when we had a long string of clan war victories…man, that felt good! It would be nice to get back to that level.
Q. How do you think CC and clans will evolve within...2-3 years?
The CC one is hard to answer. I’m hoping there are never ads for paying customers. Other than that, there will be new maps, changes to old maps, new settings that we never even thought of, and on and on. Should be fun to watch CC evolve. The clans one is even harder to answer. I think we are going to see a lot more automation when it comes to privileges, medals, etc. Which should be really nice. I think clan wars will stay basically clan wars and I think the current League and CCup setup are here to stay. Oh, and maybe someday we will get our very own tab! Other than that, I really don’t see much happening in the short-term.
Q. How many clans do you foresee battling it out for clan dominance in 2-3 years?
As most of you know, I have fought hard to avoid any elitist tilt when it comes to the clan world. My biggest fear is that the top clans will just schedule clan wars between themselves from here to eternity. There is nothing any of us can do to stop them from doing it. And, it has come closer to happening than most people think. What would happen in this scenario is that in order to play the top clans, you would have to join one of the top clans to do so. This would create a power vacuum that would, in my opinion, kill clans on CC. Now, to your question, I don’t think there will ever be more than 50 (give or take a few) clans. The trend has been that some new clans fail, some old clans go social, some clans just grow huge, and some clans combine. But it seems like there is an imaginary barrier at around 50 that is going to be hard to reach. Not really sure how to explain it. As for how many will be fighting at the top, I think so long as we encourage parity and make events like the Clan League and CCup attractive to the top clans (giving lower ranked clans the chance at them) there will always be 5-10 clans that will be “top clans” and pretty much any clan in the top 20 or so of the F400 would have a decent hope of upsetting the top clan.
Q. What's your take on the casinos (owned by the same company) now decorating our state? Two weeks ago, I (The Voice) discovered, your's is right next to the gov't procurement offices, haha...figures.
Corruption and waste at its finest! I still haven’t been to the one in Columbus. I heard it has a pretty decent buffet. I’m not a huge fan of table games or slots. I love betting on events. When we go to Vegas, AC, or even Wheeling WV, all I do at the casino is drink and bet on the ponies. But, as you know, Ohio didn’t legalize all gambling so no betting on the fun stuff. We drove by the one in Toledo the other day on our way to Detroit. It looked nice. Out of place for sure. But nice.
Q. How old are you?
33
Q. Is there a story behind your username?
If so, what is it?
Yes. I have a chemical engineering degree from The Ohio State University. The program is hell. So we were never home and spent most of our days in the labs. So our significant others used to joke that we were cheating on them with “Kimee” (a play on Chem. E.) So one day we discovered this really cool think called “hotmail” and we all made up clever nicknames to have as e-mail accounts. My friends and I chose chemefreak@hotmail.com as mine and I have been chemefreak ever since. I was hoping that people would call me “Freak” on CC, but alas, freakns had already cornered that market so everyone just calls me cheme.
Q. Do you like dinosaurs?
I do. I really like dinosaurs. My nephew loves them. I buy him these cheap little plastic dinosaurs everywhere I go and he just raves about them. It is pretty awesome.
Q. Does your CC boss like you or does he take you for granted?
I think the fact that I still have a job with my history speaks for itself.
Q. Do you still watch cartoons?
South Park and Family Guy. I think Anime sucks and Saturday morning rarely has any real cartoons anymore. So, I guess the answer is yes, but not very much.
Q. What super power do you dream of having?
I think invincibility with the ability to predict the future would be perfect.
Q. Your fighting style: drunken master or angry monkey?
Drunken master. That is the only time I would ever fight…drunk out of my mind.
Q. Have you ever been attacked by a wild animal?
I’ve been bit by spiders and stung by bees…do those count?
Q. Can you sleep with your closet door open?
No. I can’t. My suits on hangars look like people. They freak me out.
Q. Is it legal to travel down a road in reverse, as long as you're following the direction of the traffic?
Technically, yes. However, I guarantee you will get cited for unsafe driving or some other generic moving violation.
Q. Does anyone ever think to thank you after you have spent an afternoon issuing their medals?
Yes. I love issuing medals to the guys at TNC. I always get 2 or 3 thank yous. I would say about 1 in 10 thank me. However, if everyone replied to the pm that is generated when a medal is issued that would be a bit of a pain to respond to all of them! I’ve issued about 6000 to date.
Q. If you strangled a Smurf, what colour would it turn?
Well, I’m going to assume that the Smurf would eventually piss itself. So yellow and blue make green?
Q. How fast do hotcakes sell exactly?
Faster than coldcakes. Unless you are selling them in the desert.
Q. What is your greatest fear?
Catching on fire while boating and then right before I burn to death jumping in the water and then right before passing out as I am drowning getting eaten by a shark…not all at once, but piece by piece…bobbing up and down in a slick of my own blood as the shark nibbles at my burnt/oxygen deprived self.
Q. How old do you act?
My fiancée says that I act about 8.
Q. Why do you look up to me (ubcman64) as your hero?
Because you always insist on being on top…wait, what?
Q. Do you own a cape?
No, but I own an Ohio State snuggie…which is more of a robe, I guess.
Q. Have you ever tried on your wife's lingerie? ......and when you did, were you alone?
My fiancée does not wear any kind of underwear…ever.
Q. Does your username indicate a fondness for inhaling certain chemicals?
That would explain a lot wouldn’t it! However, I decline to answer this question on the grounds that the answer may tend to incriminate me.
Q. "Caddyshack," "Raising Arizona" or "O Brother, Where Art Thou"?
Caddyshack. That was way too easy.
Q. Will the SEC win another national championship next season or will someone else finally step up?
The next BCS national championship game will be Alabama vs Ohio State. Ohio State 31 Alabama 10. You can quote me.
Q. Jodi Arias... Death penalty? And, would you do her first? If yes, and just before the deed occurred, would you dump Jodi for Casey Anthony? (assume she could not exact revenge on you for dumping her like she did that other poor dude)
So many questions there! Death penalty, yes. College ChemE would definitely do her first (so dirty, how could you not?). Today ChemE would pass on that. Casey Anthony is a sick lady. I wouldn’t do her with your…
Q. If you were banished from the USA, what country would you move to?
Tough one. Probably Canada. I think it is the country that most reminds me of the good ole USA.
Q. Don't you hate it that the platinum medals still show up as bronze ones in the forums?
I hate it more that the usernames in the forum are exactly the same blue as our CD Moderator color.
Q. You obviously really enjoy the clan aspect of CC... but can you see any downside to the proliferation of clan participation on CC overall?
I really don’t see any downside. In my opinion, the clan world should have its own tab so that the average player can click on it easily and see the clan world. By and large, clan members are premium…that is actually required by many clans. So I think it is a win-win for the site. Also, as I mentioned previously, some players (like myself) are still around because of their clan. That being said, there will need to be a “friendly” landing pad for players to get a cordial introduction to the clan world after clicking on the tab. Right now, if you are a newer player, and you post in the “create/join a clan” thread, you will get berated by the usual posters. I mean skewered. These usual posters are not interested in the health of CC or the clan world; they are only interested in making themselves look big and important. If CC ever intends to use clans as a mechanism to encourage players to stick around, this will have to be dealt with.
Q. Do you think there are double standards in the rules on CC?
I believe you are asking if there are double standards on how the rules are applied to certain players. I think there is a double standard. Mouthy, inconsiderate, disrespectful assholes are dealt with more harshly than other players for the same offense. However, I am completely okay with this double standard.
Q. I (smegal69) know of several cases where one rule applies to some but not others, So should the rules be in black and white or should the Mods be able to choose when the rules apply?
I wish you had given some examples. I can’t speak for other sections of CC, but in clans it is nice to have some guidelines with a LOT of flexibility due to the complexity of the interworking of the clan world. I do not believe that Mods should be able to choose when rules do and don’t apply. However, I do believe that experienced Mods are in the best position to choose HOW they should be applied and to what extent.
Thanks SG5, that was fun. ++The Legion++ Rules!!!
Cheers,
ChemE[/spoiler]
Seems like we're in peak season on the clan news front these days - we have a LOT to report on this edition! The Conquer Cup 4 drawings are completed and play-in matches are well underway - IcePack has the full report and offers his predictions and insights for the first round matches. Clan League 5 phase 1 is wrapping up and the makeup of the phase 2 divisions is starting to become clear, thanks to updated tables from qwert. This week the Platoon Report also has the exclusive scoop on a major shakeup in the F400 rankings!
As if all that isn't enough, we're excited to bring you the second part of The Voice's "What Keeps Your Clan Together?" interview with clan leaders, and an update on the Conquer Cup 3 finals from betiko - which we now know will have implications as to which team gets a bye in the first round of Conquer Cup 4. We also have a wrap-up of all the #GCCM Clan week fun that koontz provided for us last week.
[player]Swifte[/player]
Clan Executive
May 15 F400 Update by IcePack
What Keeps Your Clan Together? Part II by The Voice
CC4 Round of 32 by IcePack
CC3 finals update by Betiko
CL5 Update by Qwert
The Great Community Map Project. Clan Week Recap
Hello again my friends, and welcome to your favorite part of the Newsletter, "War Games", where you can find information about CC Tournaments!
Only 5 weeks now until the last TPA3 tournament is launched, and I have been given the honour of launching it! So stay tuned for just a little longer...
As the excitement builds, DaveH has renamed TPA Wrap to TPA3 Wrap (although TPA2 results will continue to be covered.) And we have our other regular features as well....[player]Dukasaur[/player]
Tournament Executive
Tournament Tips by DaveH
[spoiler=More VLookup Uses]In one of my recent tournaments I have teams of three playing a combination of singles doubles and triples. With different players winning, I needed a way of linking the wins back to the team. The same type of issue arose in a tournament of doubles in which I am using "Tour Stats" for the results. In this I need to order the players in team order rather than alphabetical player order.
One solution is to have two lookup tables. One has the teams with a reference number and the other is the alphabetical list of players names with the team reference number. i.e.
As a reminder on using VLookup, the process is to copy the table of 4 columns and, in Excel, select Insert/Name/Define and type in the name to be used; in this case "Teams" (note that the area selected is defined in the bottom window).
The next table is the alphabetical list of all the players with their team number in the next column. i.e.
Same procedure, naming this table "Players".
Now, if I have a winning player, or from the Tour Stats data a list of players, I can get the team names from the player's names by using the function VLookup(Player_Name_Cell, Players, 2, false) and then, from this team number, the captain of the team or all three or two players using VLookup(above_cell, Teams, 2, false) for the first player's name; VLookup(above_cell, Teams, 3, false) for the second and VLookup(above_cell, Teams, 4, false) for the third.
(These "tips" started off as ones that I used to make it a bit easier in managing my own tournaments. Now, I am looking at other types of tournaments and scoring systems by all you innovative TO's out there. So, if you have a unique scoring system that you would like me to have a go at automating, please let me know and I'll be pleased to try and assist. Any queries on the above I'll be glad to respond to of course. Please note that I use Excel 2003, so there may be variation in the menu instructions if you have other versions of Excel)[/spoiler]
TPA3 Wrap by DaveH
Join This? Or Not! by anamainiacks
The Great Conquer Community Map (#GCCM) has run its course. After this weeks poll has ended, the real work begins for those of you up to the challenge.
- Can any of you make the next great Classic map?
So what do we have for you this week. Well, not a lot really. We have two new maps waiting for live play Tribal War Israel and 4 Star Meats. Both should be with us any day now. Speaking of any day now, Labyrinth only has one live game left. Then we can all play it again.
It has been a blast writing for you all over the last 50 issues, but it is time I said goodbye. Seamus76 is taking over for me next issue so be nice to him betiko over the competitions.
[player]koontz1973[/player] -- Foundry Executive
Maps in Development - Drafting Room.
Maps in Development - Main Foundry.
Spotlight on Knights 4.0
Great Conquer Community Map Week 6 by Seamus76
Stay Tuned for the next issue of the ConquerClub Dispatch for an interrogation of [player]sempaispellcheck[/player]. Post any questions you may have for them here --> Interrogation with sempaispellcheck
Submitting Your Own Articles
If you have a story you think the ConquerClub Community would find interesting, you can submit your articles to [player]thehippo8[/player] and you may just see your article published in the Newsletter!
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ConquerClub Dispatch Team
- [player]thehippo8[/player] - Chief Executive
- [player]Dukasaur[/player] - Aide Executive
- [player]safariguy5[/player] - Freestyle Executive -
- [player]TheSaxlad[/player] - Freestyle Writer
- [player]DoomYoshi[/player] - Freestyle Writer
- [player]Swifte[/player] - Clan Executive -
- [player]Betiko[/player] - Clan Freelance
- [player]IcePack[/player] - Clan Reporter
- [player]Ickyketseddie[/player] - Clan Reporter
- [player]The Voice[/player] - Clan Freelance
- [player]qwert[/player] - Clan Reporter
- [player]Dukasaur[/player] - Tournament Executive -
- [player]anamainiacks[/player] - Tournament Reporter
- [player]DaveH[/player] - Tournament Reporter
- [player]anamainiacks[/player] - Tournament Reporter
- [player]koontz1973[/player] - Foundry Executive -
- [player]Seamus76[/player] - Foundry Reporter
