CC Dispatch [Issue 74.1: 23-06-12] Mess Hall
Posted: Sat Jun 23, 2012 6:00 pm
Welcome back freestylers. We have an ongoing series by Sully about the issues over moderation, another scum insider, and Dukasaur talks about Canada, European fancies, and the wild days of his youth.
As always, if you would like to write for the freestyle section or have any good article ideas, please send me a PM.
You Stay Classy, CC.
[player]safariguy5[/player]
Freestyle Executive
The Scum Insider by safariguy5
Community Report: The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly by Victor Sullivan and Viceroy63
[spoiler=Interrogation of Dukasaur]Hey Dukasaur!
Q. How old are, you, and what to you do for an living?
Wow, starting right off the hop with the personal stuff! Well, I have the right to refuse to answer, but I'm here to get closer to the community, not further away, so I'll answer.
About age, I won't give you a specific date of birth, but I can tell you that I was still breastfeeding when Kennedy was shot, but I was already eating some solids when Khruschev was deposed.
About occupation, I've made no secret. I'm mostly a truck driver, but I'm lazy and prefer to dispatch. In the winter I supervise snow plowing operations on the Niagara stretch of the QEW, except that global warming means we get very little snow nowadays, so mainly I sit around, look important, watch the radar for snow that never seems to come, and spend a lot of time on CC...
In spring I drive for the local greenhouses, delivering live trees and shrubs to retail garden centres. Mostly short-haul, but I do get a bit of long-haul work sometimes. (It gets a lot harder to get online, and I find myself struggling to keep up with all the committments I made during the winter.) Summer is the biggest wild card. I drive anything and everything in summer. Long-haul, short-haul, local deliveries, taxis, limos, couriers, whatever comes along that year.
Q. Are you from the Czech Republic? I've (WorldCup4James) been there many times
Or is it just family lineage?Yes, I was born in Prague, and I've been back a few times for visits as well.
It's interesting, that most of my life has been spent in Canada, but the relatively tiny percentage of my life that was lived in Czechoslovakia has had a disproportionately huge influence on making me who I am.
I was probably one of the first people who was aware of the invasion in 1968. My job in the family was to get up before dawn, warm up the tubes in the old short-wave, and bring in the BBC or Radio Free Europe so my grandfather could wake up with news from abroad. That morning I couldn't get anything; just screeches and pops. I was scared that I'd broken the radio, but of course I hadn't. It was just the Soviets jamming all frequencies.
My grandfather went to work that day. My grandmother begged him not to go, but he gave her a look that would make a pine tree drop its needles and went on his way. I didn't understand what that looked meant at the time, but I did later. My grandfather had survived Hitler and Stalin, he'd survived Sachsenhausen in '39 and the communist purges in '49. He believed that they can't win if you don't let them, and that going about your business as if they don't matter is the most important thing you can do. At the age of five I of course couldn't have articulated any of those ideals, but remembering that look on my grandfather's face is still the anchor which holds me steady through the troubles in my own life.
After work my grandfather took me for a walk. "Will I get shot?" I asked him.
"Don't worry. Even Russians won't shoot little kids." Of course it was bluster. Children have no special immunity, but I took him at face value and went out without fear.
Later I saw the iconic pictures of Russian tanks rolling down side streets, crushing the parked cars. You've probably seen it in pictures, but I saw it live. Down on Korunni Street a friend of my grandfather's had a DeSoto that he had imported from America at enormous expense before the war. Still in perfect working order, it was flawless in every respect, just a masterpiece of gleaming chrome. The street was wide open, there was no need. Those pricks mashed that thing into scrap metal purely out of spite. No military objective was being served, no danger existed. It was just a macho yahoo thing that soldiers will do when their officers don't give a shit. I can't explain how much effect such little things have had on me.
Q. Do you watch The Office? If so, did you see them shoot any clips when at Niagara Falls?
No, sorry, I almost never watch anything on the major networks. When I do watch TV its usually specialty channels.
I did watch the Wallenda walk across Niagara Falls last Friday, though. Is that close enough?
Q. You joined on 20 November 2010 and by 1 December 2010 you had joined up with DoomYoshi in Hank44's Soccer's Democrat vs Republican Survivior tournament. Now DoomYoshi joined just before you, on 16 November 2010. Both you and Doom's very first ever game is a five player off-beat map. Doom lost his Montreal game and you won your Ancient Greece game. Altogether you've played 267 games against Doom you are frequently on the same team whether they be dubs, trips or quads. Both of you are Sergeant's First Class! You are both from Canada. This is getting really spooky! If I (thehippo8) dug further would I find you use the same ISP address? I assume you are brothers? What happened in November 2010 to get you both to join?
Lol, first of all, drop the "Sergeants" shit. I'm usually an officer; you just happened to get me on the tail end of a long losing streak. You, Corporal Hippo, may call me "Sir" when you accuse me of being a multi...
DoomYoshi is my son. Like most products of the Internet Age, he's always prowling the nets looking for something new, whereas I tend to stick with the same game for years at a time. He was away at university and I hadn't heard from him in quite some time when he suddenly sent me the invite to join CC. Partly because I was bored with all the games I was playing at that time, and partly to have something we could do together, I joined.
Q. You joined the newsletter on 28 December 2010. That was quick! What drew you to the newsletter? How did you get there so quickly? What keeps you there?
When I join something, I usually jump in with both feet; no half-measures. Once I joined CC, it was a certainty that I would be volunteering in some way. The newsletter seemed like a natural fit because I've written newsletters before.
What keeps me there? I hate letting people down. There's times when I'm sick of the place and I want to quit, but then I think of how depressed I feel when others quit and I know that I don't want to do that.
Q. Ginger or Maryanne?
Oh, Maryanne, by a long shot! Give me a real girl over a silicon-and-peroxide doll any time.
Q.
thehippo8 wrote:You joined on 20 November 2010 and by 1 December 2010 you had joined up with DoomYoshi in Hank44's Soccer's Democrat vs Republican Survivior tournament. Now DoomYoshi joined just before you, on 16 November 2010. Both you and Doom's very first ever game is a five player off-beat map. Doom lost his Montreal game and you won your Ancient Greece game. Altogether you've played 267 games against Doom you are frequently on the same team whether they be dubs, trips or quads. Both of you are Sergeant's First Class! You are both from Canada. This is getting really spooky! If I dug further would I find you use the same ISP address? I assume you are brothers? What happened in November 2010 to get you both to join?
You join the newsletter on 28 December 2010. That was quick! What drew you to the newsletter? How did you get there so quickly? What keeps you there?
Did this level of investigation creep you out at all?
Yes. It's good to know that amateur multi-hunter Corps is alive and well, though...
Q. What makes you face palm the most when newbies form their first tournament?
Excessive ambition. People biting off more than they can chew. very often they have excellent ideas, but they just don't have the experience to realize how difficult and time-consuming those ideas will be to put into action.
I wish I could speak to each and every new TO and say, "Start off small and simple. Do a couple little tournies with really simple rules to practice on, before you launch into your magnum opus."
Don't start off with a 128-player monster. Even big established names on CC have trouble filling 128-player tournies. I sometimes struggle even to fill my tournies, most of which are designed for 40 players.
Q. Why the name dukasaur?
My friends in high school thought I was too bossy. I think I was just being a good leader, but you know how it is. One man's great leader is another man's dictator. So they called me the Iron Duke, after Bismark. Sometimes also the Grand Duke and similar things.
Later on I put on a few pounds and my skinny friends started calling me the Brontosaurus.
So it was just a natural linguistic conflation. Grand Duke, Brontosaurus, Dukasaurus.
Q. What was it that drew you to be a reporter on tournaments?
I love tournaments, I enjoy writing. Simple.
Q. Always love your tournaments...any sneak peeks on what you will be doing for future tournaments?
With the History of Nuclear War series and the Best of 2011 I think I've found a formula I love. First of all I have to finish those two series, but after that I think you can expect a whole lot more using that same formula with 9 rounds of "first one out" followed by a grand finale in Terminator.
I have to launch a TPA Dubs tourney on July 2nd, and I still don't have a good idea for a theme, so people please write to me!
In the fall I want to do a huge random-settings tournament.
At the same time, the ghost of Jules Verne hovers over me. When we shortened the original Jules Verne, I promised that we would eventually have more tournaments of the same type to finish out the series.
Last but not least, I want to do a grand re-enactment of WWI. Players will fight solo tournament on maps of the nations involved in WWI, and then in the grand finale tournament they will for teams and fight on the Europe 1914 map and possibly others.
Q. Is the show Ice Road Truckers pretty much a scene-for-scene accurate depiction of your life?
My wife tells me if I ever volunteer to drive the ice roads, she will kill me before the ice does...
Q. Is it true that you will melt when you've been thrown with coloured eggs repeatedly?
I'm not sure if this is a question about one of my biggest CC successes, or one of my biggest CC failures.
One of my biggest sucesses: Chap's Easter: Assassin Robin Style, a tournament I won by a huge margin, 5 games out of 6, on one of my favourite maps (the limited-edition Easter Egg map.)
One of my biggest failures: DKs Easter Quads, the only tournament I've ever had to cancel for lack of popular interest.
Really ironic that I had both a huge failure and a huge success on the same map and almost at the same time.
Q. Which map has territories which share names with songs written by Marty Robbins, Jimmy Webb and Dido?
Well, Marty Robbins was a dead giveaway. Obviously El Paso is on the Texas map. I must admit that I'd never heard of Jimmy Webb and Dido and had to Google them...
Q. If you don't know, how do you face yourself every day?
Google is my friend.
Q. Also, you have been accused of being a "Team CC apologist". Have you always been such a square? Why don't you stick it to the man like the cool people? Are there any team cc decisions/policies/actions that you disagree with or are you completely up Andy's backside?
Lol, square? Me, who was considered "too radical" in the Libertarian Party?
In high school, I organised the first (and in fact the only) student walkout in the history of the school.
After the walkout I was suspended, but because I was a genius, some of my teachers campaigned against my suspension so close to exam time. So, for me, they introduced the in-school suspension, so I could be separated from the student body while still doing my pre-exam review topics. It's commonplace enough nowadays, but in my time nobody had heard of it. And since it was a new idea and we obviously didn't have a room dedicated to the purpose, they had to lock me in the stationary storage closet.
Whilst locked in the storage closet, I wrote and edited that week's edition of my school newsletter, with page one showing a cartoon about my incarceration. My co-conspirators printed it on the spare Gestetner in the Business Studies class. It was sold surreptitiously and resulted in a doubling of my suspension time, so I wrote my Grade 11 exams still locked in a 4X8 closet. That's the kind of square I am.
Still, that was then, and this is now. With age comes maturity, and nowadays I prefer to get things done without confrontation. One of the fringe benefits is that I've found most people I disagree with are not the raving lunatics I imagined them to be when confrontation was my main mode of communication.
Are there any Team CC decisions I disagree with? Sure, there quite often are, but nothing serious enough to lose my equilibrium over.
I think if CC is ever to regain its vitality, lackattack will need to get out of the fuhrerbunker and start getting personally involved. Play some games, sign up for some tournaments, comment on some maps in the drafting room, get into some debates with the off-topics people. Yes, he'll have to put up with a lot of tiresome shit from some of the major trolls, but that's the price one has to pay for a vibrant community. A healthy community comes from direct contact between the highest and lowest levels, and this community is still small enough to make that practical.
Q. Can you express some fondness toward Andy's backside?
Let us praise Andy's Backside, O Lord,...
Oh Andy's Backside, you are so big
...so absolutely huge
Gosh, we're all really impressed down here, I can tell You.
Forgive us, O Andy's Backside, for this, our dreadful toadying, and...
And barefaced flattery.
But You are so strong and, well, just SO SUPER!
Amen.
Now, two boys have been found rubbing linseed oil into... <fade out>
Q. Does this question make my (Victor Sullivan) butt look big?
Compared to Andy's Backside, your butt is positively microscopic. Submicroscopic. In fact, it is so small that it makes me question quantum theory.
Q. Why the Avatar "Dukasaur?"
Q. What's the story behind that?
Duplicate question. Scroll up.
Q. Why has the Newsletter waited so long to interview you?
I'm relatively new here.
Q. What is your favourite food?
Egads, the list of foods I love is so long I'd be hard pressed to pick just one favourite.
Almost anything from Mitteleuropa I love, of course! (For those not familiar with the term, that's the cultural core of Europe, consisting of Czechoslovakia, Hungary, Austria, southern Germany, Croatia, and Northern Italy.)
If I had to pick just one thing, it would be Szeged-style Ghulash.
My mother's schnitzel would be a very close second.
But that gives a false impression of me. The truth is I love things from all over the world. Orange beef from the Szechuan. Catalan meatballs from Barcelona. Fig-and-pistachio stuffed chicken from Lebanon. Hot garlic dhal from the Punjab.
Q. What is your favourite thing about Canada's government?
Its basic integrity. I often disagree with our government, but one thing I have to say is that the level of corruption is incredibly low. I've travelled a lot of the world and studied even more, and the more I know the more grateful I am that I live in a country where I don't have to pay a bribe to every bureaucrat I encounter. You don't realize how rare that is, and how important that is, until you start looking around the rest of the world.
Q. About Canada?
Gotta come back to the first point above. Living in a country with such a low level of corruption is an incredible gift. I had to say it again.
Beyond that, I love the low population density, I love the incredible natural beauty and how much of it is still unspoiled.
Q. About the USA?
A lot of the same things as Canada. A lot of natural beauty. Somewhat more corruption, but still low compared to the rest of the world. A tolerable population density.
Unique to the U.S.? The raw creativity and optimism of the American economy. Start with the idea that every problem can be solved, and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy. That's what Americans do best. They believe that problems are there to be solved, not tolerated, and they set about solving them.
Q. What's your favourite tourist attraction in each of these countries?
In both cases they would be the Rocky Mountains, something that Canada and the U.S. share. I couldn't pick just one spot. You just drive through the Rockies in any direction and you will find sights that take your breath away, and no matter how spectacular one view is, later you will see one even more spectacular.
Q. Ever been to the CN Tower?
Yes, including dancing when the Top of the World was a disco at the top!
Q. Do you like curling?
Let me set my alarm clock...
Q. Wish you were in Alberta, hunting Dukasaurs?
Love Alberta.
Q. How do you feel about mass extinction events, like the KT event?
They blow my mind. Such massive transformations. It's so unfair that I don't have a time machine!
Q. How does it feel to have a hippo stalking you?
Everybody needs a friend...
Q. Are you worried that you might end up with an extended absence like Sully?
Last summer was the closest, I think. I was doing a brutal job, working like 100 hours a week. I came close to having to give up my online presence, but somehow I squeeked through.
Q. What do you like most about playing in tournaments?
The feeling that there's a goal you're moving towards. Non-tournament games are just an endless continuum; you never know how close you are to the beginning or the end. But in tournaments you have a reference point.
Q. I understand you are a bitter and twisted biochemical genius planning to destroy all life on this planet. Do you have a target date or are you just taking it easy, waiting for the right moment?
I've mellowed so much with age. There was a target date, but I've forgotten it...
Q. Are you a Czech bounced for Not Sufficient Fun?
That joke was already old when they used it in the first season of Saturday Night Live...
Q. If it walks like a Duk and quacks like a Duk can it get a tournament organized like a Duk?
Accept no substitutes! There is no Dukasaur but the real Dukasaur!
Q. Do you believe we appreciate all you have done, are doing and will do?
I hope so, but sometimes I wonder.
Q. What is your take on the tournament world? What's good? What could stand to be improved?
I wish this question had come sooner. I probably would have written 50 paragraphs, but we're getting to the end and I'm getting tired.
I wish TOs would take more pride in their craft. It is a craft; there is creativity there, even if sometimes it's not much, and one should take pride in it. It's not so hard to underline topic headings and make sure you use the same font size in each round and stuff like that. Why do so many tourneys look like something pulled out of a dingo's ass?
Why can't people do simple things like check their threads on a regular basis? It makes me want to puke when I have to PM a TO about a question that I asked in the thread a week earlier, which he would have noticed if he was checking his tournament threads regularly.
Q. Let's say I'm a newbie and I'm looking to join a tournament. What advice would you give me?
Start small. Don't launch complicated tourneys until you've finished a couple simple ones. But once you've done a few simple ones, don't get stuck in a rut. Start experimenting with new ideas and stay fresh and creative.
Cross your T's and dot your I's. Nothing says "I don't give a shit" like careless typos and slovenly formatting. If you don't give a shit about putting together your tournament, I won't give a shit about joining it. You may think formatting and stuff is not important, but if you're careless about stuff like that, how do I know you won't be careless about adding up the score? Check and double check everything.
Try to have a timeline. The average 1v1 game on a simple map might take only a few days, while an 8-player standard No Spoils game might take months. Don't just pick maps and settings you like; try to estimate how long each one will take and how this will all fit into your timeline.
Join the TO's Usergroup as soon as you become eligible and participate in the discussions there.
Read the War Games section of the Dispatch on a regular basis. We work hard at bringing you useful information and ideas.
Q. How has being the Tournament Executive of the Newsletter changed your perspective on tournaments and the tournament realm?
I had no idea how big it is. When I sent my application to [player]jricart[/player], I said I wanted to interview "every tournament winner."
I had no idea at the time just how many tournaments there are!Q. If you were a tyrant, fully in charge, no questions asked, what would you ban?
Questions with inadequate parameters. In charge of what? The dispatch? All of CC? The Internet in general? The country? The whole world? The universe?
Q.
0r b0th ???Larry46 wrote:Ginger or Maryanne?
If both is an option, I'll take both.
Q. How does it feel to have a pinkish mod color?
There's other colours I like better, but hey, it's not a big issue.
Q. Monkey or Turtle?
Monkeys engage in projectile defecation. Turtles are fairly clean. Case closed.
Q. Which CC members do you dream about most often?
Lol, I actually did have a dream about a CC member not too long ago. And no, it wasn't THAT kind of dream. And I won't tell you who either, but in my dream another TO and I came up with a plan to rule the world's economy based on a system of Escalating spoils.
Q. When you dream about sully, what is the content of the dream?
I'm running the boat to Hades. Sully shows up and tries to pay me with Monopoly money. I cackle hysterically and row away.
Q. When do you get the most enjoyment from writing about tournaments?
When I get an interview with someone who actually wants to talk and put their point across, as opposed to mechanistically answering my questions.
Q. I (vodean) know your secret. But I think CC ought to hear it from you. Start talking.
Yes, I really did have my first sexual encounter with a Sandinista rebel.
Q. Why choose the name "Dukasaur" ?
Third instance of same question. Scroll up.
Q. What's your favourite clan?
Okay, I've never been in a clan, so my only point of reference is who has the coolest people.
Pig Renters have Dibbler and IrishAce.
1RFG has General Brock and shakeycat.
OSA has DoomYoshi.
EMPIRE has Leehar.
The Pack has kiwi3.
The Dragoons have perchorin.
Gen1 has Tripitaka and Gilligan.
RA has Janomike and nagerous.
FOED has Elric and macbone and uckuki.
These are some of the best people I've talked to in the time I've been on CC, so I have to say all those clans are equally the best.
Q. How many maps have you made? Do you have any neat ideas that you would love to see come through the Forge? Historical ideas?
A lot of great ideas, but I'm so graphically inept I fear I might never make a map on CC.
Q. What's your favourite thing to do in the snow?
Dispatch plows! Lots and lots of plows! And sander and salters, oh my! Stop global warming. Give me back the days of three-foot snowstorms!
Q. In the summer? Do you prefer heat or lack of heat?
My favourite times are the moderate times. Early May, late September. The times when I can go on the trails and watch the natural world, and neither freeze nor bake in the process.
Q. What's your take on Evolution?
I am its ultimate result. Now that I'm here, there might no longer be a reason for evolution to continue.
Q. What is your favourite political ideology? Political Party in Canada? Canadian Prime Minister (throughout Canada's brief history of self-Parliamentary rule)?
I used to be a Libertarian activist, and although I've parted ways with the libertarian movement, it is still closer to my ideals than any other party.
As far as parties that actually got elected? I would say that the Liberals of Sir Wilfred Laurier's generation would be my favourites.
Q. How about favourite President of the United States?
Jimmy Carter. The only honest man to enter the White House in the last 100 years.
Q. Your favourite European nation?
Czechoslovakia, of course. Bavaria a close second (an independent Bavaria, not under the thumb of those northern heathens.) I love Catalonia. I love pretty much all of Europe.
Q. Your least favourite nation?
Hard to say. There isn't any nation I really hate. I could say something positive about any of them.
Q. What nation would you most wish to travel to? Least wish to see?
I very much want to see Australia and New Zealand.
I have no great desire to go back to anywhere in the Caribbean, but I'll still go if the flight is cheap enough.
Q. What are your top five favourite board/card games to play (offline)?
I used to love all the Avalon Hill games.
I also liked simulation type games like Pollution.
My favourite card game was always Canasta.
Trivial Pursuit and its spinoffs.
Mille Bornes.
Thanks for your time![/spoiler]