Welcome Comrades to the 67th edition of the Dispatch
Woo, doggie! It's good to be back! I hope you all thoroughly enjoyed your π Day; I know I certainly did
So much to talk about! First, Conquer Club has finally put their partnership with SOS Africa into action! See that "Just Giving" widget on the left side of your screen? Well, Conquer Club is raising money to sponsor a child's education in Africa - a girl named Kelebogile! If and when the community donates a total of ₤600 (about $950 USD), we get a brand new Africa map! For more information, click here to view the announcement.
Second, the Cartography Assistants have issued a North America contest and the voting has started! With over 100 votes, Map 3 seems to be pulling well in front, but it is by no means all wrapped up! The CAs have also designed a special Round 2 judging process by them, AndyDufresne, and various Foundry regulars. Who do you think will win? Click here to cast your vote!
Third, it seems our dear Conqueror, [player]Gen.LeeGettinhed[/player], is getting a bit more than just that. Reports of "ranching" in the Cheating & Abuse forum have risen against the highest-scoring player. The webmaster himself, [player]lackattack[/player], openly agreed with the large majority of the community on the matter, saying,
However, it has repeatedly been stated that ranching is not against the rules, due to the difficulty of enforcing it (i.e. where do you draw the line?). In the most recent report against Gen.LeeGettinhed, support administrator, [player]king achilles[/player], stated,
That's it for news from me for this issue. I think it's time for the segment you've all been waiting for for a couple issues now! To make up for the two we've missed, I'll be naming three Subscribers of the Issue! The first, for Issue 65, [player]davidjmemmett[/player]! For Issue 66, [player]nemrehs1[/player]! And for Issue 67, none other than [player]Quirks Wife[/player]! Congrats to the lot of ya! In order to receive your GA medal, PM me the name of the Writer or Reporter whose articles you most enjoy reading (and why!).
And to all of you Subscribers who get this PM'd and don't read this in the CC Newsletter forum, I will now make the header a click-able link to the thread, so you can post comments, questions, suggestions - whatever!
Well, we've got a swell issue for you, from a double-dose of "Historical Perspectives" with [player]DoomYoshi[/player] to an in-depth assessment of strategies regarding the infamous 'bonus monkey' (and how to not be one) with [player]Viceroy63[/player] to another great "Tournament Tips" by [player]DaveH[/player] involving Microsoft Excel to new Foundry Reporter, [player]Flapcake[/player], and his first article about his map, Denmark, to the Clan Team's showing off their fancy new icons and banners, courtesy of [player]DiM[/player].
Enjoy the fruits of our laboring fingers!
[player]Victor Sullivan[/player] Chief Executive
P.S. I will throw valueless bonus points at whoever gets the pun in the title
If you would like to apply to join the news team, please visit the thread below for more details!
Hope everyone had a good Pi day. May the dice be with you on St. Patty's, especially if you're the green player. Anyways, we have another Hot Topics, DoomYoshi brings us further Civil War correspondence, and Symmetry talks about his favorite OT threads.
[spoiler=Interrogation of Symmetry]Q. Why not asymmetry?
Symmetry is much more interesting, but anyway I took my username from William Blake's "The Tyger" way before I started on this site. I wrote my dissertation on him, and when I had to come up with a cool sounding name for MSN messenger, I went with Fearful Symmetry. I was young, and pretentious. Now I'm older, and only a bit less pretentious. Symmetry stuck.
Q. Bilateral or radial?
Fearful, see above.
Q. Have you ever forgotten to turn your schwag off?
If so, describe the experience in 1000 words or fewer.
I don't know what this means, but I consulted Urban Dictionary, and it suggests either cheap pot or promotional merchandise. I have never inhaled promotional merchandise, or been turned off cheap pot.
Q. What do you do for a living?
I'm a researcher- most of my money comes from funding my PhD project, or from research, teaching, or editing jobs associated with it.
Q. What was your major in college?
English Lit, and Renaissance history. Not a big money spinner that one.
Q. What is your favourite cocktail?
I don't really do cocktails- I'm not a fan of sweet stuff. Maybe a Long Island ice tea. A few good nights started out with a few of those, and ended with me waking up on a train home.
Q. ASL + Stats
I can sign my name, and know a few basic phrases, but that's in BSL. I don't really know how they match up.
Q. What brand, sub-brand and product line of deodorant do you use? (e.g. Old Spice Sweat Defence Fresh; Gillette Regular Arctic Blast, etc.)
As long as it's cheap, and isn't Lynx, I generally do ok with anything. Polo Blue is always a good choice for covering the worst.
Q. I (saxitoxin) will give you one of the following vehicles, however, you may not sell it, barter it, or in any other way make a profit off it. You will have to pay for your own fuel, insurance and so forth. You also may not give it away before 5 years have passed. Do you accept my gift and, if so, which do you choose?
Option 1: 2012 Chevrolet Volt in Sky Silver
Option 2: 2012 Nissan Juke in Midnight Black
Option 3: 2011 Škoda Octavia in Goldenrod
Option 4: 2009 Horse in Brown
Option 5: 2009 24' Boston Whaler L in Puerto Rican police livery
Option 6: 2010 Neoplan Megaliner in Ulusoy livery
Option 7: 2006 Leopard 2-A6 in Bundeswehr woodland colour pattern
I don't drive, or have anywhere to put a horse, so whichever of those has the highest resale value. If we're assuming I have to keep my choice, I could probably eat the horse.
Q. Do you have a favorite thread? What's a subject or two that you don't know much about, but wish you did, albeit due to being interesting or practical?
Of my own? That would be the Cute Baby Animal Appreciation Thread. From other people, I don't know. There are a lot that I enjoy for different reasons. It's no secret that I like to talk about American politics, so some of my favourites have been where I got to see sides of a debate that were unavailable to me in the UK.
I like to know other people's opinions on music. I'm pretty crap at getting in to new music, and don't often don't know where to start when it comes to getting in to stuff with a huge back-catalogue, say, for example Jazz. Getting advice on what to pick up as a primer is always great.
Q. Is 1984 overrated? And a follow up if you so desire, why, or why not overrated?
In my opinion:
Short answer- no. It's an excellent book, and everyone should read it. Longer answer, yes- it's not as great as it's made out to be, whilst still being excellent.
It's still a better book than Brave New World, which is the standard point of comparison, but I think too many people take it as political philosophy outside of the period it was written in and take it as political prophecy. Also, Orwell's essays are even better.
Q. Where do you come out on the issue?
Astronauts
Q. In Hume's 'Enquiries concerning human understanding and concerning the principles of morals' in the first section of An Enquiry concerning the principles of morals there is a description of a particular type of character, a description which matches very neatly with an off topic poster. Which poster would that be?
I wouldn't dare to speculate
Q. Do you steal rolls? Or are you a bun man? Which would make the question, do you steal buns? Obviously.
Depends on the contents, but I feel temptation.
Q. Who do you think is the most annoying off topic poster?
I wouldn't dare to speculate.
Q. Naomily right?! Aww shucks that's not really a question.
It is not.
Q. Why don't you play more games? I'm (Aradhus) open for a doubles invite anytime.
A bunch of reasons- I got quite ill a while ago and couldn't be sure if I'd be online or be out for a few days at a time. I also like to play long games on big maps, so not a great combo if there's a chance of deadbeating. Plus the off-topics are plenty of fun anyway.
Q. Who taught you to spell your ID? Cemetary is spelled with a C and fewer M's
Big bad Billy Blake, but then he also used "Tyger", so maybe not the best teacher.
Q. How can you be here over 5 years -- and only play 66 games? that's like. . .um, carry the 8. . .maybe <10/yr
Ah, my dear Generally Getting Head, at some point you will learn that life isn't about keeping score in these kinds of relationships. If you leave behind a long trail of short term flings with young naifs, is that really better than having a smaller number of long relationships that you savour and remember? Turning tricks isn't my way, nor am I so obsessed with keeping score.
Q. Your profile pic looks like you are chewing on an infant's shoe. Do you have a fetish?
It looks like Yukio Mishima, that being who it's a picture of.
Q. If nagerous and clapper011 arm-wrestled, who would win?
I wouldn't dare to speculate.
Q. Is the plural of Symmetry: Symmetries or Siemmetries, or what?
Symmetries
Q. Did you pick an ID with two M's because you love M&M's? Good thing you didn't like Whattchamakallits.
I hate M&M's. If you want chocolate, get chocolate. If you want candy, get candy. Don't buy something that ends up being neither, but in tiny portions.
Q. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THE ANIME "CANDY CANDY?" YOU A FAN?
I've never seen it.
Q. Your five FAV Eurovision songs ever?
The best thing about Eurovision in the UK is Terry Wogan commentating while obviously getting more drunk as the whole charade heads into the night.
Q. If you had to choose one of the following mythical creatures to exist in real-life, with all the attendant powers it had in popular legend, which would you choose and why? (a) Santa Claus (b) Easter Bunny (c) Bibendum (d) Jack Frost (e) Snegurochka (f) Tomte
Santa Claus. Mainly for saving money on Christmas presents. Also, possibility of fossil fuel deliveries during winter months.
Q. What... is my (crazymilkshake5) name?
It's crazymilkshake5. You and your four older siblings were named by lazy lazy hippies.
Q. What Pokemon would you be if you had to choose?
Jigglypuff, obviously.[/spoiler]
Issue 67 is out and it looks like another two great articles from the Strategy Section for your consideration to make your games more enjoyable.
First we have Crazymilkshake5 with a cross analysis of Game principles and those of real life. And some where in between we even get a bit of a history lesson to boot. So be sure to read "CC in History" by Crazymilkshake5.
Then we have the first part of a three part article series about what is, and what is not a Bonus Monkey and when is it OK to conquer a bonus zone. "The Bonus Monkey is Your Friend, Leave Him for last Part 01" by Viceroy63, Promises to be an eye full.
We here at the Strategy Team are dedicated to serving you with thought provoking articles that make you go, "Hmmm," =) so if there is anything in particular that you, the reader, would like to see us working on or write about, in the way of strategy, Please feel free to let us know. Your opinions and comments are always welcomed and appreciated.
Hello again my friends, and welcome to your favorite part of the Newsletter, "War Games", where you can find information about CC Tournaments!
Well, after the gargantuan effort that we put into Issue 66, most of my team elected to take a break this time around, so this will be a brief edition of War Games. (Incidentally, it seems that not all subscribers received Issue 66. You can always go and read it in the forum version. Especially if you've been waiting to see our interviews with MudPuppy, greenoaks, or koontz1973, I suggest you check it out.)
The news in the Tournaments world right now are the pretty new tags in the Create/Join forum. I haven't gotten used to them yet, but most people are delighted with them.
Tournament Tipsby DaveH [spoiler=Using an Excel Lookup Table]Once you have your list of sorted players, there is an Excel function that you can use to put your players names into the various game lists. This is the VLOOKUP, or vertical lookup function. This function takes a value from a reference position in a vertical table and puts it into the cell. It is best explained by using an example and the example I will use is a 16 player game where everyone has to play everyone else:= So there will be 15 rounds of 8 games and sorting is not required in this round-robin style tournament. The number in column D is the round number and the numbers in columns E and F are the reference numbers for the matchups; for instance in round 1 player a plays player 9 and in round 2, player 1 plays player 16 etc. OK, it takes a while to type in all the two sets of numbers for the 15 rounds, but it's a lot easier than copying or typing in the names. Now we can use the VLOOKUP function to copy the names from the reference table into the matchup tables. First we will define our table, which will be the list of 16 player's names in column B and their reference number in column A:-
select the list of player's names by dragging down your mouse from A3 to B18
On the Excel menu select Insert/Name/Define
Type in a suitable name - say "Table" (notice that the range of the table is defined correctly as "=SheetName!$A$3:$B$18")
Click OK and you are done
Note that if you wanted to change your tournament for, say, a 20 player round-robin, you simply increase the table bottom value from B18 by 4 to B22. Now we have to copy the VLOOKUP function into the matchup table:-
Click on the first blank cell (G3)
Click the fx button next to the tick and cross
Type V and select VLOOKUP
Into the Vlookup_value box click on E3
Into the Table_array type "Table"
Into the column index number type "2" (so that you select the 2nd column of your table)
Into the Range-lookup type "FALSE" (to exclude near matches)
You are virtually done! Simply copy down G3 to G10, then copy the whole block across to column H. Then copy the complete block from G3 to H10 into the remaining 14 rounds - done" You can now use the spreadsheet for a new tournament simply by replacing the 16 names in your table with your new set of names!
(These "tips" are ones that I have tried to make it a bit easier in managing my own tournaments. I am sure there are many different and better methods than these, so please let me know. Any queries on the above I'll be glad to respond to!)[/spoiler] Join This? Or Not!by Dukasaur
Thank you one and all for your overwhelming support. It's no mean feat to get a hand And now I get two! Welcome please to [player]Flapcake[/player] who debuts with his first article. He's no stranger to those of you who trawl through the Foundry proper, and he ain't half talented!! Welcome also to [player]disco bandit[/player]. Looking forward to what he will produce, hopefully next issue - prod, prod A word of appreciation too to [player]koontz1973[/player] for his unerring dedication!
Enough pleasantries, onto this issue. [player]Flapcake[/player] discusses his map of Denmark and the process to this point. It's been a long road and [player]Flapcake[/player] shares his experiences. Hopefully we'll all get to play that soon! [player]koontz1973[/player] is back with your favourite and mine the Foundry News and the informative What's Where. Did your own map, or your favourite map, make the cut this issue? Finally, I spotlight one of the prolific [player]natty dread[/player]'s latest offerings in War of Wizards – a study in gameplay development. It's a crucial point in development so get in there and have your word.
And completely from left field ... this from Star Trek: First Contact:
We are the Borg. Lower your shields and surrender your ships. We will add your biological and technological distinctiveness to our own. Your culture will adapt to service us. Resistance is futile!
This issue in clans, we have some insight into the workings of the Clan Leaders Association as they revamp the Power Rankings, a brief look at whats coming in the semi's of the Newcomers Cup, and the spotlight on Division B as we start wrapping up Phase 1 of the Clan League. We also unveil all our Clan Icons and Banners that couldn't fit into the last issue of the newsletter!
Remember to check out all the other Latest Wars and Competitions in the Active Challenges sub-forum.
Stay Tuned for the next issue of the ConquerClub Dispatch for an interrogation of [player]amazzony[/player]. Post any questions you may have for them here --> Interrogation with amazzony
Submitting Your Own Articles
If you have a story you think the ConquerClub Community would find interesting, you can submit your articles to [player]Victor Sullivan[/player] and you may just see your article published in the Newsletter!
Subscription
Did you enjoy this Issue? Have you subscribed to the Newsletter yet?
If you want each and every issue of the ConquerClub Dispatch delivered right into your Inbox, then Subscribe Here!
hide لا شيء, Нічога, 没什么, Semmi, Nič, Hiçbir şey, Nada, Dim, Kitu, Ei mitään, Nichts, גאָרנישט . All words that mean nothing. So that must mean nothing has happened this week worth reporting.
Nothing happening? What about the first Revamp Contest in years???
Can we please get some foundry reporters who pay attention to things...
hide لا شيء, Нічога, 没什么, Semmi, Nič, Hiçbir şey, Nada, Dim, Kitu, Ei mitään, Nichts, גאָרנישט . All words that mean nothing. So that must mean nothing has happened this week worth reporting.
Nothing happening? What about the first Revamp Contest in years???
Can we please get some foundry reporters who pay attention to things...
It was in the last issue, twice. The poll went up after this edition was finalised.
Can we get some readers who pay attention to things.
Lol, We just wanted to make sure we got all the clan icons to uplift our coverage of the Clan League, if any of the clans we missed out on are willing to send their images in to me or DiM, we'll be sure to include them in style
Kort's doublet is due to us experimenting with them to get the right shading, so I'm not sure being the guinea pig's is such a joyous accomplishment
Also, I'm dissatisfied with some of the answers to my Interrogation questions. I will be chasing you down every time you enter an airport, depart a plane, get in and out of a car. Every function you go to, every public bathroom you use. My readers demand the truth. And I get it for them, because I'm the best.
And now I get two! Welcome please to [player]Flapcake[/player] who debuts with his first article. He's no stranger to those of you who trawl through the Foundry proper, and he ain't half talented!! Welcome also to [player]disco bandit[/player]. Looking forward to what he will produce, hopefully next issue - prod, prod 
