Welcome Comrades to the 59th edition of the Dispatch
Big news this week as [player]Victor Sullivan[/player] will be taking over full time as Newsletter Executive. For all those people who love to read my summaries of the newsletter, sorry, but this is the last time you'll see me writing at the very top.
Anyways, highlights of this issue include a new CC story in the Freestyle Section, some tips on how to run tournaments in the in the Tournament section, possible new map ideas in the Foundry Section, and the fickle mistress that is luck in the Clan section. Something for everyone, and I wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving. Go stuff your face and watch some football or hockey.
[player]safariguy5[/player] - Newsletter Executive
If you would like to apply to join the news team, please visit the thread below for more details!
Click here for Recruitment Details...
Hello again everyone, we have another interrogation for you. From the Sexiest Clan on CC, [player]squishyg[/player] has kindly agreed to answer your questions. Of course, we have another Scum Insider, and [player]shieldgenerator7[/player] begins a new story about a possible future with CC in it. He's looking for some more people who want to be in his story, so please PM him if you would like to be a character.
-[player]safariguy5[/player]
Freestyle Executive
Epic CC Story: Prologue by shieldgenerator7
The Scum Insider by safariguy5
[spoiler=Interrogation of squishyg]Q. Hi there squishy!
That’s not a question, but sure, I’ll play along. Howdy.
Q. Just how squishy are you? A Play-doh level of squishy, or just a volleyball level of squishy? Q. How squishy can a G really be? Q. What part of you is squishy? Q. How sexy are you? are you green-eyed? are you redhead? Short answer (pic) is acceptable? Q. Did you look better after giving birth to child 1, or child 2?
Erika Falk writes in the second edition of her book, Women for President: Media Bias in Nine Campaigns (which was based on her Penn doctoral dissertation, also a good read), “it appears that while society may be trending toward judging women less on their appearance, it is still fundamentally convinced that differences between men and women exist and are important (90). Her research shows startling differences in the amount of times female candidates’ looks are mentioned versus their male competitors.
Q. Is it true that all new BPB members have to upload naked photos of their 2 year old daughter? I've not seen anyone else do this in the forum and was wondering if paedophilia was commonplace in other clans.
Really? That’s the second question of this interview? This is why I don’t think the newsletter interviews should just be a random string of questions submitted by users. Can you imagine opening The Wall Street Journal or Entertainment Weekly and reading a procession of non-sequitur queries from people who have little interest in the answer, but simply want to participate in some pathetic way? This reminds me of the time I was invited to speak on a panel at a respected state university. My fellow panelists and I presented well-thought out statements and then participated in a lively and enjoyable Q&A. The student organization we were addressing hosted a dinner that evening and we were invited to sit with the young scholars so they could glean from our knowledge over lemon chicken. I was excited to share insights with them about my work, stories from my travels, advice about educational paths-maybe one of them would follow in my stead! I sat down at my table and the first question, enthusiastically asked, was, “Is it hard to walk in heels when you’re pregnant?” I weep for America’s youth. Of course, Pedro is older than me, and British, but you get what I mean.
Q. Are you smarter than a fifth grader?
No, I just have more life experience.
Q. If you had to choose one. Are you more of tomboy or a girly girl?
You wouldn’t be asking me this question if I were a man. I don’t recall ever reading a CC interview of a male player where they were asked “Are you more of a bear or a twink?”. But since I have to choose one, I will pick girly girl, taking into consideration that I am currently wearing glitter nail polish. Fun Fact for Ball Busterz! - this was a home mani, not the previously analyzed Shellac application.
Q. Is your name short for squishy (beep)?
Beep doesn’t start with the letter g, but okay, I’ll play along. Fun Fact! squishy is an actual nickname that some old friends call me IRL. Like many of you, they have also shortened it to squish. I wanted to be plain old squishy on CC, but someone was already using the username.
Q. Would you flush a goldfish down the toilet if it meant you could be the mayor of New York City for a day?
I would say I would flush the goldfish and then get elected on that promise. Then like all politicians, I would fail to flush the goldfish, citing bureaucratic obstacles. I would then use my authority to circumvent term limits and ruin my popularity with the pro-goldfish crowd.
Q. How much money would you have to make to appear in a porno?
There is no amount of money that anyone could pay me to be in a porno. But I would play a non-sex-having character in a porno. That would be a delightful anecdote to share at dinner parties. Per union rules, I would accept no less than a standard day rate.
Q. What's the better sitcom, Cheers or The Big Bang Theory? Explain your answer.
No one can argue the lasting impact of Cheers, but I personally prefer The Big Bang Theory. Any episode where Sheldon and Penny interact is hilarious. Although I do use the Cheers “three men who have never been in my kitchen” line regularly. But then again, “paper disproves Spock” is also a great bit. So in conclusion, I love tv.
Q. Would you rather have died on the Challenger or The Titanic?
The Challenger! At least it was quick, and being wet and cold sucks.
Q. What's the better musical genre, disco or reggae?
Yes, let’s compare the Bee Gees to Bob Marley. On the one hand you have ear worm dance pop and on the other hand you have a poetic genius who led a revolution. I think I’m going to have to go with reggae.
Q. How often do you go to Starbucks?
I haven’t gone in ages! How I miss you Caramel Macchiato… And Pumpkin Spice Latte is back for the season! Mmm…. I actually live in a town with no Starbucks. But at my last office there was a Starbucks on the first floor, so my answer then would have been “as many times as I walk by it”.
Q. Who's the alpha. You or your husband?
We are equal partners. Being partners doesn’t mean we split everything equally and sometimes one of us takes the lead in certain areas, but both of us are in charge of our household.
Q. Is it better to watch Nightmare Before Christmas in October or December?
I say watch it for both holidays. If any movie can stand repeat viewings within two month’s time, that one can. But since there are less quality kid-friendly Halloween movies, I’ll say Halloween. Also watch The Worst Witch.
Q. What is your favorite sport?
To watch live: baseball, in which to compete: fencing, to watch as an event with friends: wrestling (the silly kind, not the Olympic kind).
Q. Do you use coupons at fast food joints?
I would use a coupon at a dollar store. Saving money is sexy. I don’t generally eat fast food regularly enough that I have coupons handy, but I did once use a coupon to get a free gross strawberry lime frozen drink at Taco Bell.
Q. Old Hollywood or New Hollywood?
The glamour, innuendo, and subtlety of old Hollywood movies is intoxicating. I would much rather watch Bette Davis accept a cigarette from Paul Henreid than watch Chloe Sevigny blow Vincent Gallo. But in New Hollywood we have women and people of color writing, directing, and producing movies, which transforms the industry from one that narrowly portrays one culture’s stories to a much more vibrant community where more people are heard (although we have miles to go on this front). Ultimately though, a good film is a good film. I love movies way too much to pick John Ford over Quentin Tarantino or Annette Bening over Marlene Dietrich.
Q. When was the last time you wore a thong?
The last time I chose to.
Q. Was the mob right to kill Gaddafi?
I’m not really a fan of mob violence. Is it ever morally right for a pack of people to seek out and kill a man? There’s right and wrong, but then there’s the dirty business of doing what you think is best.
Q. Are you a Democrat?
No. I used to be, but to paraphrase Craig Lucas’ Prelude to a Kiss, Democrats are such Republicans. I am an independent voter and strongly believe the candidates should have ballot access to run as independents. Check out IndependentVoting.org if this subject interests you.
Q. What is the most likely reason you'd ever do hard time?
Getting caught shoplifting in California (the third time, obviously).
Q. Are you the queen of CC or does that title belong to dazerazer?
Daze is the the trophy wife of CC, clapper is the queen, Robinette is the duchess, happy is the empress, and I’m the vice-president of balloon doggies.
Q. What is the best novel of all-time? If you were trapped on a desert island, what book would you most like to have?
I’ve read the classics, the modern classics, the great dramas and comedies and the one book I would take with me to a desert island is
The Princess Bride by William Goldman.
Q. Would you rather be a hot genie or an ugly prime minister? Explain your answer.
I could do way more good as a genie. I could never work for a bureaucracy.
Q. Who is the biggest pervert on CC?
I bet it’s the one you’d least suspect…I’ll say Andy.
Q. What movie is better, Back To The Future or Sweet Home Alabama?
Back to the Future! Although I do enjoy Reese Witherspoon movies. Back to the Future is a perfect movie. Its fun, well-written, and joyously performed.
Q. Do you support capital punishment?
No. But I do think Osama Bin Laden was dealt with as best as anyone could deal with that situation.
Q. Do you watch Oprah?
No, she ended her show silly.
Q. Would you rather live in Afghanistan or Siberia?
Siberia, I enjoy cute boots and long coats and being allowed to drive a car.
Q. Is spanking acceptable? Under what circumstances?
Its only acceptable between two consenting adults who have a pre-determined safe word.
Q. Who's hotter, Jessica Biel or Mila Kunis?
Oh Vipey, this is the high heels question all over again. Well, Mila’s career is certainly on a roll, so in terms of star power, I guess she’s hotter. But you probably want to know who I deem more attractive, because it feeds some sort of lesbian fantasy. So pick whoever you want. I’ll be reading Madam Secretary by Madeleine Albright.
Q. If Charlie Sheen wrote you a check for $30,000 would you do him?
No.
Q. What is the best and worst metropolises in the United States? Why?
I love cities. New York is my first love, but I haven’t met at city I truly disliked. Philly has a lot of one way streets and obnoxious sports fans, so I’ll rank Philadelphia at the bottom. But even Philly I like.
Q. What's the sluttiest thing one of your friends ever did?
She got all tarted up and did whatever sick thing you’re imaging. Wait, no! She had sex with Charlie Sheen for $30,000. There.
Q. What's better, vegetarian or meat lover pizzas?
It’s a close call, but pepperoni or sausage pizza beats olive and mushroom.
Q. How often do you go to the movies?
About once a month now that we’ve got 2 little ones. But I watch tons of stuff at home.
Q. What is the best animated movie ever?
Rainbow Brite and the Star Stealer.
Q. Favorite alcoholic drink and favorite pizza topping?
A dirty vodka martini with blue cheese stuffed olives. Really good pizza needs no additional topping, but Italian sausage (giggidy) is pretty delicious.
Q. How much wood, would a wood chuck chuck, if a wood chuck, could chuck wood?
42
Q. What's the best thing about being in charge of social media along with The Voice?
Capturing a moment. Good timing can make a Twitter post a funny thing. I also enjoy getting to talk with CC users on Facebook away from the forum.
Q. Who's your favourite female singer? Male singer? Band?
Lena Horne, Meatloaf, the E Street Band.
Q. What's your favourite map on Conquerclub?
Besides Classic, World 2.1
Q. Why did you join CC?
After a raucous party where a Risk board got taken out at 10 pm and didn’t get put away until after 2 am, I got hooked on the game and went looking for a place to play online. I was hoping to find a real time site where I could play against a computer, but I found CC and it was better.
Q. Who're your favourite teammates for a Quads game?
I had a nice run with Master Fenrir, HairyP, and lokisgal on WWII Poland. Fruitcake and Mr Changsha are incredible players, so they’d make my list for sure. And to round it out I would have to have my doubles partner, ViperOverLord.
Q. What do you do for a living?
I’m a theatre artist and community organizer.
Q. Is it possible to write a manual on understanding women, and if so, what would it say?
Pay us equal wages and don’t be jerks.
Q. I've always wondered how many boards could the Mongol's Horde if the Mongol's Horde's got bored?
If you secure the Jin bonus, you could really horde as many as you’d like, as long as you have premium membership.
Q. How often do you go on dates?
Never, I’m married. I don’t subscribe to calling a night out with my husband a “date”. I think we’re a little past that now.
Q. I excel in both content and deliverance so let's put on our classics and have a little dance shall we?
I wholeheartedly agree with your viewpoint, but this ain't your typical garage joint.
I make points which hold significance.
Q. Army of GOD or eating a box of nails (no milk allowed)?
As a doubles partner? I’ll take my chances with the box of nails, thank you.
Q. If you could live anywhere in the world for a year, where would you go?
Paris. I would become fluent in French, take pastry classes, and drink lots of wine.
Q. If you could meet anyone alive today, who would it be? What would you talk about?
I would elect to speak to Barack Obama and I would discuss the need for a developmental and performatory approach to education.
Q. If you could meet anyone from throughout history, who would it be?
Tennessee Williams. I have so many questions and I would love to discuss the many layers in his plays. I would also want to meet Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and Jesus Christ so I could get their perspective on the world today and clear up all those arguments where people invoke their names.
Q. Would you rather be able to fly, or be invisible?
I would want to fly. I enjoy physical activities and getting places quickly.
Q. We want to know who your favorite cartoon character was as a kid, oh, and why did you enjoy them?
I was obsessed with Rainbow Brite when I was a wee squishy. I had the dolls, the album (“Starlite, Rainbow Brite, a little wish in the moonlight. Sunbeam, sparkle and shine, you’ll always be a friend of mine!”) I should note I typed that from memory, no Google needed. The show had everything, best friends, a talking, flying horse, and accessories with magic powers. Yes, color crystals could be compared to blood diamonds, but the Sprites did appear to be well taken care of.
Q. If in an instant you could become an invisible man, where would you go and what would you do?
I would go to all the same places and do all of the same things I would do if I were a woman. I would go to the Louvre, Eremo delle Carceri, the Accademia, the Empire State Building, Wawel Castle, the Kasubi Tombs, the Sistine Chapel, and the Met and the Cloisters and stay as long as I’d like, wondering, remarking, and imagining. Alternate answer: The same thing I would do if I were a woman but I‘d get paid more and I’d be allowed to show emotion without being called emotional.
Q. Since you are the sexiest of all CC mods, please tell me what actor should play you if they made a movie of your life?
Either Sarah Michelle Gellar or Samuel L. Jackson.
Q. If that movie about your life was a comedy, which part of the story would be the funniest? and why?
In retrospect, the time that I was held up at midnight while soaking in a mineral bath in Bulgaria was pretty hilarious.
Q. Which do you like best, Cats or Dogs? and don't give the "i love them all" answer... i wanna know which you REALLY like best... also, substitute animals ARE acceptable.
I wuv kitties!!!!
Q. Dragonette or ABBA?
Dragonette
Q. Who will win the Super Bowl this year?
An American football team.
Q. Should they make a Back To The Future 4?
No, unless they come up with some amazingly original idea.
Q. If you had to listen to a song all day, what would it be?
Rebecca Black’s “Friday”. Or “Jungleland”, one of the two.
Q. What were you for Halloween?
The Invisible Woman from the Fantastic 4.
Q. When will you be leaving the Bumbling Bandits and accepting your Manifest Destiny? Care to play a challenge to decide?
I just downgraded my phone, I’m not downgrading my clan too.
Q. Old country or new country?
Old, I love me some Loretta Lynn.
Q. Chapstick or lipstick?
I’m a Jersey Girl, I rock shiny lip gloss. But in the winter I do bust out the cherry chapstick. Yum!
Q. Are you a closet Duran Duran fan?
No, I’m a closet Rod Stewart fan.
Q. How many hugs do you give to non-relatives in any given month?
Approximately 32.
Q. What state do you live in?
New Jersey
Q. If an angel told you the world was ending, would you go on television and warn people?
No, I’d make a video and post it on YouTube.
Q. Would you rather spend a day with Angelina Jolie or Billie Bob Thornton? Explain.
Angelina Jolie, because she spends all day getting into sexy danger and saving the world.
Q. Who do you respect more, George Washington or Barack Obama? (No ties allowed).
Barack Obama. It was a lot easier to be the first president than the forty-fourth. Even taking into consideration modern dental care and penicillin.
Q. What would a one minute montage of your life look like?
This.
Q. If you got stranded on a island and you could only have access to pineapples or coconuts, what would you choose?
Pineapples
Q. If you had to either eat a crow or starve for 60 hours, what would you choose?
As long as the crow is cooked, I would give it a try.
Q. Would you rather be a Muppet or a Rescue Ranger?
A Muppet! I love them, even though chipmunks are adorable
Q. If you had to choose between dog sledding across Alaska and Northern Canada in the dead of winter or sailing a small sail boat around the planet, what would you choose?
The sailboat, I’m sure Fruitcake could hook me up with something sexy.
Q. Under what circumstances should we invade Iran?
Let’s not and say we did.
Q. What's the best television show or movie to fall asleep to?
Sesame Street, it means the toddler is distracted and I can take a nap. She always wakes me for “Elmo’s World” anyway.
Q. Chilli cheese frieds or ceasar salad?
Caesar salad, I don’t particularly enjoy chili.
Q. How many states have you visited?
15, which is about how many countries I've visited too. The states are RI, MA, CT, NJ, NY, ME, NH, DE, MD, VI, GA, CA, PA, FL, VT. I’ve also visited the District of Columbia, which really should have representation.
Q. If you have another kid, (assuming it's a guy) why are you going to name him after Army of GOD? And if it's a girl, why are you gonna name her after Army of GOD?
I guess we'd name our kid Army of GOD if we wanted her/him taken away like those people who named their kids Adolf Hitler and Aryan Nation. Seriously AoG, have you ever Googled yourself? What were you thinking?
Q. I asked BisonKing this same question and his answer was, to say the least, disappointing. So now I'm asking you.
If you could choose one member of The Club to fill each of the following positions, which would you choose and why?
(1) Personal Stylist- Saxi, I need no help in the sexy dept., but I can think of no one better as a life coach.
(2) Masseuse- Army of Nobunaga, also my pick for pool boy.
(3) Housekeeper- Army of God, those little fingers could probably get into the hard to reach nooks and crannies.
(4) Bodyguard- owenshooter, he's already got my back.
Q. The world has just ended and, in the post-apocalyptic order, a new race of Amazon women have come to rule the surface of the planet. You are the Queen of the Amazonas and can choose any five members of The Club as your sex slaves, with whom you will repopulate the Earth (except ol' Sax as I will be leading the Molmoks, a mutant race of mole people living in caverns that serpentine beneath the La Brea tar pits). Who do you choose?
BoganGod and Army of Nobunaga. And I’d elect to bring on some ladies so that we can repopulate the earth without resorting to incest. On second thought, someone else can have my spot and I’ll go work on infrastructure.
Q. Have you ever had your Third Amendment rights violated?
Not per se, but my bachelorette party coincided with Fleet Week... and I’m muy patriotic.
Q. A horde of zombies has taken over New York City. Which one of the following locations do you choose to fortify yourself in and why do you choose it?
Option 1 -
Option 2 -
Option 3 -
Option 4 -
Option 5 -
[/b]Option 4 has a nice safe look to it, although I’m embarrassed to say that I don’t recognize the building. All the other options are far too open. A nice tall building sounds good. As long as T-Dog doesn’t drop the key.
Q. Do you wish you were a little less squishy and a little more firm?
Would you ask a tiger to shed its stripes? An eagle to remove its wings?
Q. It's only been a couple days, and already you've received more questions than most interrogatees receive in two weeks. Does that make you feel honoured, or just overworked?
More flattered than anything, and appreciative that Robinette bumped the post count to get things rolling.
Q. Did you believe IR's story?
Aren’t we a little past the point of believing or not believing? It’s conclusive that she was lying.
Q. Are you actually Wicked's multi?
Yes.
Q. Do you think this is actually Owen asking questions?
I assume Owen is behind everything at all times.
Q. If you could have a CC celebrity take your turns for a month would you pick josko.ri or chariot of fire? Please explain your choice, going into details ie the vegetarian vs bovine debate, the possibility of loss of street creed if your sitter has a boring avatar, etc. Thanks in advance young lady.
I would pick Chariot of Fire. As the Bullet Proof Bandits’ most loyal member, he would surely never miss a turn.
Q. How do you feel about the state of moderation on Team CC currently?
I think there are individuals and departments who do a good job. As a member of the discussion team, I think clarifying who does what could speed up our response time to reports. I think the discussions team is doing a great job of quality control so that we don’t respond too quickly though. We talk it out before acting, which I think is wonderful. It’s challenging when we don’t have the opportunity to have that kind of discussion before a ban is handed out. When that happens it leads to a polarizing and controversial situation. As a member of the entertainment team, I think Sam does an incredible job of organizing really fun events for the CC community and I’d like to give kudos to him and our entire team. I also look forward to more opportunities where the volunteers can bond so we can continue to get stronger working as a team.
Q. Do you feel there is more that could be done by Team CC to create a wholesome, fun, fair and entertaining atmosphere for all forum goers?
I believe that there’s always room to improve. I would also turn that around and challenge the community to wholeheartedly participate in making the forum what you would like it to be. It’s like the failing U.S. education system, it’s not all one person’s fault. Team CC needs to be mindful of its position and not antagonize users, but the community also needs to recognize that most people join Team CC because they want to positively contribute to the site and that we’re not out to get you. And if someone just isn’t working out on the team, that should absolutely be addressed so that customers don’t just have to wait and hope that volunteer leaves the team or the site.
Q. Have you experienced any conflict of interest, being both a Team CC member and a member of BpB?
Absolutely not. If anything, I think being a member of both those groups makes me more well-rounded and a greater asset to Team CC.
Q. Who has the best and worst avatars on CC?
[player]pascalleke[/player] has the worst, [player]owenator[/player] has the best.
Q. Who is the more productive group (or group of groups for the sake of semantics): The Tea Party or Occupy Wall Street?
I think it’s too soon to evaluate their productivity. Neither one has had a significant impact on politics yet; both could turn out to be fads. I had hoped that the Tea Party would generate some interest in third party and independent politics, but its clearly just an arm of the Republican party, with a few regional exceptions where citizens are legitimately trying to give voters more choices.
Q. House or Grey's Anatomy?
I don’t watch either, but the commercials for House are enticing. Plus Hugh Laurie is cool. I rarely watched ER either, but I watched Scrubs, even after it went downhill. I guess I prefer funny medicine. Or funnyish.
Q. Who would you rather make out with, a grown up Linus or grown up Schroeder?
Schroeder, it’s the musician thing.
Q. Which Charlie And the Chocolate Factory is better, the Gene WIlder version or the Johnny Depp version?
The Gene Wilder version! The Johnny Depp one is terrible.
Q. The sky is clear, the stars are bright, we're laying on the grassy hill pointing up at constellations. Which foreign head of state are you thinking of? Me too.
Angela Merkel.
Q. Did you sit in the front or the back of the classroom in high school?
Back, but I sat up front in college and grad school.
Q. If you could give something to your most memorable teacher as a gift, what would it be?
I recently received an extremely moving message from a young man I’ve worked with for several years. I would share that with my teacher so she knew who she helped me become.
Q. Which social networking platform do you prefer to get your CC updates from, Facebook or Twitter?
Facebook, because its fun to interact with the users who comment on the updates.
Q. Which social networking platform do you prefer to give your CC updates from, Facebook or Twitter?
Twitter, because it automatically posts to Facebook and saving time is sexy.
Q. How many people in the BPB sig have you actually spoken with or even seen online? I'll give you a hint, you've never seen Professor Chaos
23
Q. How do your order your steak done?
Medium, unless the server advises otherwise. Always listen to the chef.
Q. What's the best flavor of ice cream?
Coffee Cookie Crush! And this player makes it: http://www.conquerclub.com/forum/memberlist.php?mode=viewprofile&u=293453
Q. Cake or pie?
I don’t want to live in a world where I’d have to choose, but cake.
Q. Name 2 uses for a tire iron aside from the obvious.
Since the obvious is bludgeoning someone before sinking them in the Meadowlands, I’d say tenderizing a steak and fixing a tire.
Q. Button fly or zipper?
zipper
Q. Rank the deliciousness of the following sodas in order from most delicious to slightly less delicious:
Diet Dr Pepper
Diet Sierra Mist
Diet Sun Drop
Diet Coke
Raspberry flavored Seltzer
Raspberry flavored Seltzer
Diet Coke
Diet Sierra Mist
Diet Dr Pepper
Diet Sun Drop
Q. Name the best "workhorse" whiskey. i.e. what gets the job done but doesn't cost so much you look pretentious. Tell us why you think this.
Jack Daniels. It is delicious and you can drink it during intermission at the theater and at your favorite dive bar.
Q. Name the funniest Chappelle's Show skit.
Clayton Bigsby, with an honorable mention to Charlie Murphy’s Prince story.
Q. Fluorescent or incandescent?
Candlelight.
Q. Tell us an item that's on your Amazon wishlist right now.
A canoe pan so I can make homemade Twinkies.
Q. Name the best Ghostbuster
Venkman, but Ernie Hudson gets to deliver the best line. of the movie.
Q. Best book you've read you wouldn't recommend to anyone.
The Dictionary of the Khazars by Milorad Pavić.
Q. In the year 2024, as part of a daring Global Warmers Truthers Crusade, you have to go back in time to the year 1995 to prevent the lies about global warming from occurring. You embark on the mission with your teenage son and teenage daughter. After a joint meeting in Rome with Italian mogul and future Italian head of state, Giorgio Napolitano and pop star Michael Jackson you learn that the Global Warming fiends have discovered your mission and they are plotting to kill you when you arrive at Berlin, your next pivotal destination. You have to leave your kids in the care of either Giorgio Napolitano or Michael Jackson b/c it's just too dangerous to take them with you. There's no time to make any other arrangements. Which one do you choose? (You can only choose one too b/c there is no time to retrieve each kid if you split them up. Also there is no time to give any instructions.)
Easy, I leave them with Napolitano. A civic-minded artist opposed to fascism? It’s like they were in their mother’s care. Vive la rivoluzione!
Q. What is the weirdest sexual fetish that you have ever HEARD of?
Plushies
Q.
Sadra7789 wrote:I think the article is well, although it cant not be compared with those Literary works, but it also have it mean. When i first time come in the forum, i just browsing here without any arm. But now i come here, i like here. From here i will learn something i have never learned, and also if i have any question, i can ask here then get it quickly.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wDoIM1dRzGo&feature=related
squish - Do you feel Sadra7789 could become one of BpB most prolific and articulate posters?
I don’t think Sadra is ready for the BpB, but I don’t think we should discourage new people from posting in the forums, particularly when English isn’t their second language. But lol on the link. I miss that show. And the paycheck.
Q. What post makes you lol whenever you think about it?
2010-01-13 21:15:52 - saxitoxin: BLUE - OUR TREATY IS ENDED. YOUR ATTACK ON COOBER & ADELAIDE - THE TREACHERY - WILL NOT STAND. I declare a war of national survival. I will not rest until the foul stench of Blue is wiped from the Earth. Green, you're free to move without molestation.
2010-01-13 21:16:35 - el simondo: what are they puttong in your water???????????
2010-01-13 21:17:45 - saxitoxin: LOYALTY
Vipey posted something on my wall recently that my husband and I now say IRL, but it’s not funny if I explain it. “You're not n2.“ Basically, I was really tired after being up all night with the baby and I asked Vipey this really detailed question about an attack route, not realizing that it wasn’t my territory.
Q. Why does my bestest pal ronc still have me on foe? Does he chat about me in the BpB forum? What's he say?
It’s rather obscene poetry, actually.
Q. I am too old and feeble to be able to read what is on your avatar. What is it and where is it from?
It is Alison Bechdel’s “The Rule” from the comic strip Dykes to Watch out For. This is where the “Bechdel Test” comes from, although people often miss the point when evoking it, especially the website bechdeltest.com (which is not affiliated with Alison Bechdel).
Q. Why are you so cool?
Am I cool? I don’t think so. Being cool is overrated, it only works for people who don't care that they're cool. Like this guy.
Q. Is your aversion to capitalization a good reason to occupy Wall Street?
NY protests these days seem to include everyone, so why not? The last march I went to was for Sean Bell and everyone from “Save the Dolphins” to “Free Mumia” showed up. It was a good day, but I don’t care for disorganization.
Q. Thanks for your time squishy!
That’s also not a question, but you’re welcome.[/spoiler]
Hello again my friends, and welcome to your favorite part of the Newsletter, "War Games", where you can find information about CC Tournaments!
In this issue we get the second installment of DaveH's Tournament Tips. If you're serious about running tournaments efficiently, I would definitely suggest that you follow this series. Dave is a master of Excel and some of the ways he has devised to simplify complex record-keeping tasks are amazing!
Angola and sonicsteve weigh in with their regular features, and sonicsteve has a special article as well, reminding us about the special requirements of large-team tourneys. Enjoy!
[player]Dukasaur[/player]
Tournament Executive
Tournament Tips by DaveH
[spoiler=randomising your player list]Once your tournament is full; you have tournament rights and you have created the blank games, you need to assign players to each game.
In many cases you first need to randomise your player list and there are several ways of doing this. If you are showing the results using Challonge then you can shuffle your list and then assign the list to be paired either sequentially (1 v 2, 3 v 4 etc) or traditionally (1 v 16, 2 v 15 etc as though they were seeded in order).
If you are not using Challonge, you could shuffle your player list by copying them to Random.org (http://www.random.org/lists/) and pasting the results back into an Excel spreadsheet. However you then find that each randomised name is preceded by numbers. An easy way of getting rid of these is by use of the following Excel function:
Column B has the player list (as entered); Column C is the randomised list from Random.org and the function copied into Column D is used to strip out the numbers.
The formula in D3 is:-
Code: Select all
=RIGHT(C3,LEN(C3)-FIND(" ",C3))Greenoaks, master tournament organiser of over 100 tournaments (including his KISS, Watch & Learn and Best at Beta series) reminded me that you can also use random.org for randomising the game settings - and that gave me the idea for the "Random, Random, Random" tournament I started recently (though I am sure that the idea is not at all original!).
Another method of randomising your player list is to have your player list in Excel and paste the Random function RAND()in the next column. This function puts a random number between 0 and 1 into the column. You then select the two rows and sort according to the random number;
You find that each time you sort or refresh, the random number changes.
Note that if you are planning to set up an Excel template for many tournaments (and you are rather lazy!) you can create a macro to do the pasting and sorting. Simply select Tools/Macro/Record New Macro... and then give your macro a name and perhaps assign a key. Then just go though the row select and sort process and end your macro - done! If you want to put a button on your spreadsheet that carries out this new sort macro then select Tools/Customise/Format then drag the button icon to your toolbar. Then by selecting this icon then drawing a rectangle on your spreadsheet a button appears and you go straight to a window that allows you to assign your macro to this button. Job done! However, remember not to run this macro after you have started your tournament!
(These "tips" are ones that I have tried to make it a bit easier in managing my own tournaments. I am sure there are different and better methods than these, so please let me know. Any queries on the above I'll be glad to respond to!)[/spoiler]
TPA update by angola
Join This? Or Not! by [player]sonicsteve[/player]
Large Team Tournaments: what are they? by [player]sonicsteve[/player]
Hey, hey, hey, folks! I have some rather shocking news! This will be my last issue as the Foundry Executive. [player]thehippo8[/player] has been a Foundry Reporter here for a long time now and his diligence and overall article quality has really been a blessing, so he will be stepping up next issue as the new Foundry Executive. I have the utmost confidence in him, so I hope you'll all help me in welcoming him to the Executive team
Now, just because I'm stepping down as the Foundry Executive doesn't mean I'm leaving. Quite the contrary, actually. But more on that later 
Now for the articles! thehippo8 has one "boomshankar" of an article for you (*shrugs* his word, not mine. I just hope it isn't something profane in another language
) and koontz looks at "what's next for maps", including some of the countries that have been neglected, despite CC's vast collection of 201 maps!Enjoy, folks, and I'll see you next issue
[player]Victor Sullivan[/player]
Foundry Executive
Gimme Good Gamieness by thehippo8
What's Next for maps? koontz1973
This week we have 2 rant-filled litany's on the woes of disorganization and the vagaries of luck by the resident Bogan from down under and the Norse hound respectively.
Elsewhere in the clan scene, The Pack finally wrap up their epic top ten challenge with a close victory, wherein it ratcheted up more views than the Tofu-Empire saga in the CC2 quarterfinals
In Clan Competition news, the most exciting of which is the introduction of a 7 game tiebreak to decide the CC2 Semi-final between THOTA and TSM, the inaugural Random League heads into it's 7th week with Mythology taking the lead and both the All-Comers Cup (ACC) and the Clan Directors' Random Suicide Tournament (RST) are into their third rounds.
For the RST, the semi-finalists in the main bracket are Empire, Agents of Chaos, Legion and Brethren of the Fat Mermaid (who were the top 4 seeds coming into the event).
The 2nd edition of the Newcomers Cup has also commenced, with 12 clans participating and the top 4 according to A400 having a bye.
The perennial [player]Chuuuuck[/player] also returns to the Clan Scene, so if you want his expert assistance, make your offers known here
[player]Leehar[/player]
Clan Executive
My Bad Everyone's favourite God
HARDBALLS by Master Fenrir
Stay Tuned for the next issue of the ConquerClub Dispatch for an interrogation of [player]rdsrds2120[/player]. Post any questions you may have for them here --> Interrogation with rdsrds2120
Submitting Your Own Articles
If you have a story you think the ConquerClub Community would find interesting, you can submit your articles to [player]safariguy5[/player] and you may just see your article published in the Newsletter!
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ConquerClub Dispatch Team
- [player]Dukasaur[/player] - Tournament Executive
- [player]Angola[/player] - Tournament Reporter
- [player]sonicsteve[/player] - Tournament Reporter
- [player]WorldCup4James[/player] - Tournament Reporter
- [player]DaveH[/player] - Tournament Reporter
- [player]Victor Sullivan[/player] - Foundry Executive
- [player]OliverFA[/player] - Foundry Reporter
- [player]thehippo8[/player] - Foundry Reporter
- [player]koontz1973[/player] - Foundry Reporter
- [player]isaiah40[/player] - Foundry Reporter
- [player]Leehar[/player] - Clan Executive
- [player]Master Fenrir[/player] - Clan Reporter
- [player]BoganGod[/player] - Clan Reporter
- [player]alt1978[/player] - Clan Reporter
- [player]safariguy5[/player] - Freestyle Executive
- [player]shieldgenerator7[/player] - Freestyle Writer
