Welcome Comrades to the 54th edition of the Dispatch We have a fun filled issue for you this time up, with safari taking on freestyling duties full-time, while the Duke continue to sub in for jrt (who's continuing his vacation after taking a bit of a knock while moving) in Tournaments. After his hey-day last issue however, Victor only has the foundry to present while there's info galore in my Clan section.
Editor picks this week are the 2 foundry articles, one looking at the maps current in Beta, and the other on maps coming from either realistic or fictional roots!
[player]Leehar[/player] - Newsletter Executive
If you would like to apply to join the news team, please visit the thread below for more details!
Well it appears that I have been tapped to becoming the Freestyle Executive full time. Real men wear pink apparently and all that. On tap this week, we have an interview with the poster boy for the Tea Party movement, [player]Phatscotty[/player]. For the geography buffs out there, we have a new Current Events article discussing maps. And finally, we have another Scum Insider, bringing you the latest in mafia news and advice.
Also, the Freestyle team is actively recruiting new writers. If you're interested in joining the Freestyle team, please apply here or PM me.
[spoiler=Interrogation of Phatscotty]Q. Hi Phatscotty!
BOOM!
Q. Three words to describe your position in the political spectrum.
Fiscal-responsibility, Self-defense, Liberty.
Q. Who is Scotty, and why is he Phat?
Back when pretty hot and tempting was "in, a girl I used to work with had a crush on me and drew a picture of me and named it Phatscotty. After she quit her friend and I started talking and then she began calling me Phatscotty, and it kinda stuck. I made it my screen name in the late 90's and there aren't any other Phatscotty's and I have a reputation to hold up and bets to collect on (Aol Chatroom - Investing 1999-2003) And it's better than Scott2Hottie
JTHUMPE WHERE ARE YOU? I WILL FIND YOU AND YOU WILL ADMIT I WAS RIGHT!
Q. One thing I have been thinking a lot about is why on earth gun-nuts want everybody to own guns? I mean if I owned guns already (most gun-nuts do) why would I be interested in more people having guns? How could that possibly benefit me?
I'm not a gun nut, I just believe in the Second Amendment. I believe if more people were armed, less criminals would be able to initiate force against victims of violent crime. That reality would also penetrate the criminal psyche. Criminals are already carrying guns, and it's just a fact that you can't carry a police officer around with you.
As for the benefit, I will speak for myself, but when I go to events like a gun show or a political rally, I feel extremely safe. For the record I am in favor of strict enforcement of legal gun sales, and I think the punishment for illegal firearm purchases as well as illegal possession should be much harsher.
Q. Describe in 3 words your feelings about the Tea Party Death Squads.
Paranoid Schizophrenia
Q. In 25 words or less persuade me to buy gold.
Don't. You missed the boat. However, it's also true there is hardly anywhere else safe to put your money nowadays. If you must, buy 1963 or older silver dimes, quarters, 50 cents pieces and silver dollars. Ebay is a great place to find those (Dimes are like 4$ now)
Interesting how a dime from 1953 would get you a gallon of gas in 1953, and a dime from 1953 will still get you a gallon of gas today. no?
Q. How does it feel having to follow up the greatest person of all-time?
Like I can get away with demanding a VP spot on your presidential ticket!
Q. WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?
Just some dude who doesn't like his country going broke.
Q. As a citizen of Minnesota, do you feel Paganism in Minnesota is an important enough topic to require its own Wikipedia entry? (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paganism_in_Minnesota)
Yes. There are some "interesting" people up here, and after I see them working behind the counter at my local Burger King, it would be cool if I could go to Wiki to find out wassup wit dat.
Q. As a citizen of Minnesota, do you feel Minnesota is an important enough topic to require its own Wikipedia entry?
Yes. Unfortunately the entry for Minnesota is overwhelmed by Jesse Ventura and Al Franken.
Q. Wikipedia says the official bird of Minnesota is the Common Loon (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/State_symb ... te_symbols). How many Common Loons do you know? I got to quickdraw against the guy who beat Al Franken at the state fair a few years back. That's the closest I got.
Q. As a recent critic of Norway do you feel it's odd that you live in an ethnically Norwegian state? How many times have you eaten lutefisk in the last month?
I have never tried lutefisk. I sounds gross. I do find it odd I was born here and have not moved South yet. I will though.
Q. If I invited you to see Conan the Barbarian (2011) with Army of God and me when it releases this month, would you come? Also, would you go see it with us?
I would come, and I would see it with you, so long as you promise to not cradle AOG's skull and close your eyes only to keep asking me what just happened every 5 minutes.
Q. Do you think you present convincing arguments in the Off Topics forum? How many users do you think you've won over to your viewpoint?
Yes. I don't know how many, but I like to think people just see both sides and they can make up their own minds on whatever issue.
Q. Are you an ass or breast man? Ass all the way.
Q. How many guns do you own?
Nunya
Q. When was the last time you met an Ace Rimmer?
It's been about 8 years. She really liked rimming my ace, but I swear I never rimmed hers.
Q. Who would you prefer to be rimmed by -
a) Ace Rimmer b) saxitoxin c) Army of GOD d) All of the above
I am retired from being rimmed. Those days are over.
Q. From an economic perspective, how would you identify yourself (right/conservative or left/liberal or same) to the following users:
(1) Player563782 (2) thegreekdog (3) spurgistan (4) Night Strike
Fiscally Conservative to the utmost.
Q. From a social perspective, how would you identify yourself (right/conservative or left/liberal or same) to the following users:
(1) Player563782 (2) thegreekdog (3) spurgistan (4) Night Strike
Hard to say, but I am for legalizing drugs, not super-motivated on the issue of abortion either way, but strong supporter of privacy issues and free speech. I have had to call myself Independent most of my voting life, and I am still registered Independent.
Q. You have a pretty high rank... have you ever posted in general discussions? If so, do you post there often? Please elaborate as to why or why not.
Not much. I just like off-topics. I have tried to look in general discussions many times, but nothing grabs me.
Q. What is your preferred form of birth control: (a) condom, (b) withdrawal, (c) photograph of Angela Merkel?
Condoms
Q. If I offered you $100 million provided you move to either (a) Denmark, or, (b) Somalia, what would you do and why would you do it?
Denmark. They have laws. I can't answer the question about the money because I have to know where you give the money to me. If you give me 100 million in Denmark, doesn't that mean I have to pay 90 million in taxes or something?
Q. It's 2012 and you have been elevated to the Electoral College. There's a three-way tie between Barack Obama, Sarah Palin and Dennis Kucinich and you are the last person to vote. As the Elector of Minnesota, for whom do you cast the tie-breaking vote?
Kucinich
Q. Have you ever had your 3rd amendment rights violated?
No
Q. If you could dine with any person from history who would it be and why?
Benjamin Franklin. Why? Nunya!
Q. Reaction to lolcat when you first saw it?
Winning
Q. If you could have a different meal every day of the week but the menu is repeated over and over forever, would you go insane?
No. 7 choices is plenty.
Q. Which Watchmen's philosophy do you agree with the most?
I want to say Rorschach, but really I relate to all the characters somewhat.
Q. Do you invest your money, and if so, in what?
A little. in what? Nunya!
Q. If you were to run the Newsletter for one issue, and got to decide on all content that is to be put into the issue by the Dispatch's eager and willing writers and reporters, what would it look like?
It would look like the convicts taking the prison! ATTICA! ATTICA!
Q. It's 2013 and you've miraculously won the 2012 election due to Conquer Club's global rally to get you elected. What is your first order of business, and why?
Name Ron Paul my Treasury Secretary. Why? So that we can begin working on making our currency valuable again.
Q. Why can't saxi and I (Victor Sullivan) count?
Public Schooling
Q. Are you now, or have you ever been, a member of the Communist Party?
No.
Q. Would you support the tea party if it was called the coffee club?
Yes
Q. How much wood, would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Metric or imperial is fine.
2.2 BCU's
Q. Most skilled lover in your experience jefjef, joshyboy or thegreekdog?
I have only ever received skilled love from one person, and that is a secret!
Q. How many lives do non-domestic cats have?
.5
Q. If you were trapped on a desert island with Debbie Wasserman-Schultz would you sleep with her, A) sober B) after many drinks C) if you had some unknown disease making you feverish D) Never?
I would make a brown bag out of weaved coconut shavings and "provide" free clothing for "everyone's head"
Q. Favorite fictional cat character?
Toonces
Q. How many times have you watched the musical "Cats"?
Zero
Q. Are you sexier then a politician?
Sexier than all of them except for Sheila Jackson Lee
Q. Do you like anything other then politics?
Economics
Q. Best estimate of Garfield the Cat's current weight?
2.2 Courics
Q. Obama or a shitty dick?
Turd Sandwich
Q. Why are you not in KOA or some other clan?
I am starting to look at clans. I will check out KOA
Q. Why do cats like to eat fish?
Because they taste good
Q. Have you ever licked your elbow?
No, but I like my woman to make her knees touch her elbows
Q. How many cats do you own?
2
Q. If you had to sleep with any female on CC, who would it be? (and why)
There are some hotties out there. I wouldn't like to sleep with any of them until I got to know them. I would like to get to know the Violet-Dazerazer gang though, maybe we could go out and grab a hot dog?
Q. Who is your nemesis in games? David Hoeskstra
Q. What is the land speed of a 3 lb flying wren?
The code to get a power hitting team of ladies in the NES game Baseball Stars
Q. What lower ranked player gave you your best game?
patches70
Q. If you were to accept an IMPOSSIBLE MISSION, which 2 CC comrades would you enlist to help you? Saxitoxin and BigBallinStalin
Q. I assume PhatScotty implies you are a "cool dude from Scotland" -- true or other meaning?
Pretty Hot and Tempting
Q. What were the fewest number of rounds in one of your 1v1 feudals?
4
Q. Views on the Ancient Egyptians' obsession with cats?
Beastiality
Q. When are we gonna go have drinks again?
Soon bra! They keep sending me to work in the East. It won't be long before we fire the entire crew in Denver again though, and I will make a point to not get airplane sick again and get a better hotel that allows me to actually sleep!
Q. What is your quest?
A Vision Quest to help guide the 4th great Awakening in American History with fiscal responsibility and common sense.
Q. Have you ever been persuaded to change your views on a topic by something someone posted?
Yes, rds got me to think real good recently in the "Is H-word a choice?" thread
Q. How do you earn a living in R/L, and how did you choose that profession? I will tell you that I work my brains out. I got my main job through someone I know, while also being a person who my buddy would refer to his boss. I will also tell you my job is not one that can be applied for. You have to know someone.
Q. What is one nice thing you can say about Obama?
He reads a teleprompter well
Q. What is one shitty thing you can say about R Paul?
This is his last chance
Q. If you were to name a flaw in the TEA party movement what would it be?
Flawless Victory. Seriously though, I suppose as long as there is 1 tea party phony misrepresenting the issues, not rooting out the phonies would be. However, there haven't been very many votes to judge them on yet. They've only had 6 months so far.
Q. What do you think about Canada? I think Canada is lucky to be a neighbor to the USA! No really though Canada a great border buddy but they would not be able to make their healthcare system work if the USA health care system wasn't as "accessible" as it is.
Q. Favorite beer?
Premium, but I barely ever drink.
Q. Ever been outside of the USA?
Been to Canada a handfull of times, Venezuela, Mexico a few times. Random Carribean islands. My passport has stamps in it.
Q. Favorite tv show?
Boardwalk Empire is really hittin, Just gettin into Curb Your Enthusiasm (better late than never), South Park, Chris Matthews. Those are just the ones I try to be sure to watch.
Q. Favorite book?
Tragedy and Hope, The Creature from Jekyl Island, The Iliad, Atlas Shrugged, Neo-Tech
Q. Have any children?
Dodged a few bullets
Q. How do you feel about NAFTA?
Not very good. There were some pluses, but more negatives.
Q. Which idear do you find more titilating - a devil's threeway with Baron von PWN and Lady Gaga or with ol' Saxi and Betty White? One penis per fantasy dude!
Q. Whenever you make those two-sentence, vague responses, have you ever questioned yourself? Just trying to get the discussion back on track. Details are confusing when most of the time people can't even make it past the OP.
Q. What made you come to CC and what is your favorite part? I found a risk board and tried a game and loved it. I am already good with numbers and seeing into the future so I found out I won a lot and tried a couple internet games of Wisk and fell in love and then I came across this site, which F'N owns!
Q. Why is it that u only play feudal and kings court?
Cuz I'm working on certain medals at the moment
Q. Is it fair to say that corporatism (aka croney capitalism) is just as much to blame for the state of our bad economy as the unions and the welfare state?
Absolutely.
Q. Thanks for your time! Inception[/spoiler]
Greetings and salutations everyone! Once again I have the honour and pleasure of covering for [player]jricart[/player] while he deals with real life matters. [player]Sonicsteve[/player] is also on vacation, so even more honour and pleasure comes my way...
I present you with an interview with sandman175, along with angola's update on the TPA season, and our regular look at tourneys currently in the sign-up stage. I hope you enjoy our little Tournament Section. In the immortal words of Daryl van Horne, "little, yes, but powerful, potent, full of juice!"
[spoiler=sandman175 interview][player]Sandman175[/player] is a highly active tournament player, with nine tournament cups to his credit! One of these was for winning Jim's Tourney Series #1: Board Games, hosted by [player]jimfinn[/player]. This tourney was first posted on February 06, 2011, and completed on May 30th.
As the title might intimate, this tournament is part of a larger series, now at tourney twelve, based on quite a few different themes. The "Board Games" tourney used best-of-three 1v1 matchups on CC's three board game maps: Crossword, Chinese Checkers, and Conquer4.
Hi Sandman! Jimfinn contacted me and recommended that I should interview you for the CC Dispatch about your win in the tournament. Are you up for it?
Sure, why not?
Okay, thank you! What attracted you to this particular tournament?
Love the board games maps and 1v1 games.
Ach! A man of few words, I see. If we're going to get to my 3 kilobyte minimum, I guess I'm going to have to do most of the talking. It's okay, I'm good at it...
I did a quick MapRank on you, and not only do you love your board game maps, but you are also very good at them. You have a better than 50% win/loss ratio on all of them, as well as a better than 50% kill ratio. You've raked in +255 points on Chinese Checkers, +69 on Conquer4, and a very impressive +359 on Crossword. Why do you do so well at these?
Before I found tournaments and joined One Step Ahead, I started lots of 1v1 games and those maps were favorites of mine at one time or another. I remember playing real Chinese Checkers often as a kid before I discovered Risk, apparently I should play board game maps more often. You're certainly good at them!
What other maps do you like? And what are your favourite spoils and reinforcement settings?
I like most of the maps. My current favorites are Monsters and Jamaica. My favorite spoils are flat: nothing beats a third round rainbow. Unlimited reinforcement is my favorite, but adjacent is the only setting that regularly makes me mad.
Yeah I love flat rate spoils! Although, they're only really good on small to medium maps, no? Don't you find that on the large maps flat rate spoils soon become almost irrelevant once the big bonuses start coming in?
Yeah, if you can't win quickly, flat rate can definitely lead to a stalemate -- that won't happen in an escalating game.
So what are your priorities on CC now? I see you've got your highwater score listed in your signature:
Personal Best, so far... Rank: Major Score: 2397 11/28/2010
What else? Chasing any medals? Any major tournies you're in?
Having fun is my first priority on CC, if I'm not enjoying it then it is time to find a different hobby. Winning is a close second. It's always nice to update my best rank and score. Medals are nice too, a full set of gold ones would be sweet. I've mostly been going after tournament and clan medals recently. Big thanks to all the players who run the tournaments! Shout out to my clan One Step Ahead and all my other friends on CC! Thanks to Steve Jobs for SO much! Thanks to the people who keep CC running! Thank you Dukasaur! Everyone, good luck and have fun. Sounds good! Thank you for taking the time to speak to me, and best of luck in all your future endeavours.
[/spoiler]
TPA updateby angola [spoiler=tpa update]TPA Year 1 continues on and [player]sonicsteve[/player] has really run away with the title.
[player]sonicsteve[/player] is still in first with a whopping 48.23 points. [player]MudPuppy[/player] is second with 42.32, while [player]HighlanderAttack[/player] is third with 42.08.
Thirty-one of the 52 weeks have been updated on the scoreboard, and it seems all but impossible that someone will chase down [player]sonicsteve[/player].
TPA Year 2 is underway with one tournament already complete, two tournaments underway and two more in the sign-up stage.[/spoiler]
Join This? Or Not!by Dukasaur (covering for sonicsteve) [spoiler=Join This Or Not]And now for our regular look at a selection of the tournaments in sign-ups:
The big trend this summer has been big series. [player]ViperOverLord[/player]'s Alpha Beta series has reached Alpha Beta 15, showcasing the revamped Nordic Nations map. [player]Greenoaks[/player]' KISS series has reached #41 with KISS WWII Australia (although there still seem to be spots available in KISS #36 Age of Merchants -- if you are not intimidated by this difficult map then this might be the place for you!) [player]Fuzzy316[/player]'s Fast and Furious series is up to Qualifier 11 while [player]Kuma32478[/player]'s Grand Championship has added not one but four tournaments to the list this weekend: California,City Mogul, Cyprus and OmahaBeach.
With the the new TPA season underway, it's important to keep track of new events, especially Premier and Major events. The Major that is currently on the board accepting sign-ups is [player]Lindax[/player]'s WCF Doubles II. This tourney has already been up for a week, so if you're serious about getting on the TPA scoreboard this year, grab a partner and get in there before it closes!
My personal pick for most creative new tournament goes to [player]perchorin[/player] for Sacred Vows of Silence. This is a tournament that addresses the traditional tendency of 3-player games to degenerate into diplomatic arguments. Its solution is simple: No diplomacy allowed! To prevent even a hint of diplomacy from sneaking in, no game chat of any kind is allowed. It is an 1800+ tourney, but if you meet that criterion, I think you might really enjoy this challenge.
These are my picks, but if you don't like any of these go to the Tournaments Tab and take a look at the many others waiting to be filled.
If you're craving tourney action now, check out the Requests for Immediate Players section of the tournament forum. You can be playing very quickly after signing up as a reserve.[/spoiler] Hey, folks! Sully here to bring you another edition of Cartographic Surveillance. thehippo8 briefs on beta maps, koontz1973 gives us the run down of maps in and out of the Foundry Workshops, and I've supplied an update on all things stamped. Also, in an effort to keep things consistent and more focused on maps in the works and whatnot, I plan on getting back to the roots a bit with consistent articles like Map Spotlights and Stampage Updates and I've "hired" a "consultant" to help out with article ideas and attempt to supply more of what the community wants.
Our newly recruited clan reporter takes the bull by the horns in giving us a double-header of CC2 and ACC bulletins, while BK introduces his swansong article for the clan team. His Spice articles have been great to see and with the ideas presented already being implemented around the clan scene (A clan war variant being applied in ID vs TNC) he's definitely had an impact in leaving us better for his presence. On that note we also have a resignation from [player]jigger1986[/player] as he scales back his CC activities, so now's the time to join the Dispatch to share your views with the Community
[player]Leehar[/player] Clan Executive
Conqueror's Cup 2--Final Four Previewby alt1978 (PR)
Stay Tuned for the next issue of the ConquerClub Dispatch for an interrogation of [player]TheForgivenOne[/player]. Post any questions you may have for them here --> Interrogation with TheForgivenOne
Submitting Your Own Articles
If you have a story you think the ConquerClub Community would find interesting, you can submit your articles to [player]safariguy5[/player] and you may just see your article published in the Newsletter!
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Awwww! VioIet and I are a "gang" now! lol.... and I love hot dogs Scotty! Anytime you want me to provide you with an excellent hot dogging experience, you just let me know! "How low can you go?!" BOOM! lol
How much you want for Daze? (Culs De Sac on Wed Oct 12, 2011 7:33 pm) She's priceless, Culs. ;-P (MudPuppy on Wed Oct 12, 2011 7:46 pm)
Soon bra! They keep sending me to work in the East. It won't be long before we fire the entire crew in Denver again though, and I will make a point to not get airplane sick again and get a better hotel that allows me to actually sleep!
I will hold you to this, I'll even buy the first round.
“One of God's own prototypes.....never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die.”
[/spoiler]
