Conquer Club

johnnyrotten wrote:

I still think the best wine snob put-down was James Thurber's "...but I think you'll be amused by its audacity".

jonesthecurl wrote:

strike wolf wrote:I will tell you this, you do have an interesting taste in books.

I was watching "Monty Python" the other night, and mention was made of a book called "The Amazing History of False Teeth".

I used to have that one too. (that one didn't make the cut when we moved, though if I'd realised it had been immortalised in MP I'd have brought it).

Ah. I love Monty Python. don't really like Meaning of Life that much and it's been a long, long time since I've seen Life of Brian but they are great. Obviously like most people I first got into them after seeing Monty Python and the Holy grail (Used to be able to quote the entire movie word for word), but I have since seen much more of their work including a large portion of the series.

apey wrote:*waves enthusiastically from the door*


HI PEOPLES
this thread is dinky

You're such a let down lately, come in and socialize more.

strike wolf wrote:

jonesthecurl wrote:

strike wolf wrote:I will tell you this, you do have an interesting taste in books.

I was watching "Monty Python" the other night, and mention was made of a book called "The Amazing History of False Teeth".

I used to have that one too. (that one didn't make the cut when we moved, though if I'd realised it had been immortalised in MP I'd have brought it).

Ah. I love Monty Python. don't really like Meaning of Life that much and it's been a long, long time since I've seen Life of Brian but they are great. Obviously like most people I first got into them after seeing Monty Python and the Holy grail (Used to be able to quote the entire movie word for word), but I have since seen much more of their work including a large portion of the series.

The Meaning of Life has some genius moments, but long stretches of not working for me at all. "Holy Grail" is just bliss. Brian is very good, but not Holy Grail. However, "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life" is one of cinema's greatest moments.

There are a number of posters in other threads who should take "Ev'ry sperm is Sacred" as their theme tune.

That is a good idea (and a very catchy little jingle too)

I would agree that Holy Grail is the best of them after all who could forget such classic moments as...
"She turned me into a newt!"
"Burn the Witch!"
anything said by the french
"It's just a little rabbit"
"I'm not dead yet"
"bravely bold Sir robin..."
"Just a scratch"

And countless others.

Do you know the Rutles?

Neil Innes, one of my heroes, was the minstrel who sang "Bold Sir Robin".

A song which was often sung sotto voce during many games of the Pendragon RPG which I ran, whenever some knight showed less than utter valour.

[cough] bravely,bravely,bravely,bravely, Bravely ran away...

Yes a great character to make fun of. My favorite scene though was with the bunny. After that though there are so many greats that it just gets hard for me to pick a 2nd place finish.

But for me, the funniest line ever (maybe I just like obvious jokes) was in Blackadder -

"This is a very sticky moment.

In fact it's the stickiest moment since Sticky the stick insect got stuck on a sticky bun..."

A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods.
The bear turns to the rabbit and asks,
"Do you have a problem with shit sticking to your fur?"
the rabbit says "No".
So... The bear wipes his ass with the rabbit.

Eddie Murphey

The shortest joke in the world is the "two gay cowboys" joke.

"'Y'up?"
"Yup."

What's the longest joke in the world?

strike wolf wrote:What's the longest joke in the world?

The longest joke I know is the "Two skunks " joke.
Stop me if you have heard this before.

EPISODE 1

Once upon a time, there was a family of skunks.
Daddy Skunk had unfortunately been caught in a trap.

Stop.

Well I just came to say bananas, before I have to go clean up the mess the hosting company made.

Bananas.


--Andy

UCAbears wrote:Stop.

I will, if someone else says to...

So now there were only Mummy Skunk and her two sons.

These two young sons were named...

Oh, and it's a little late due to today's probs - but how did Father's Day go for the dads out there ?

Mine started with a smoothie made by my daughter, which was so thick I couldn't suck it up the straw (I mean, all these threads about pushups and chinups, you should try smiling while attempting a suck-up...)

Then the kids and Mum collaborated on cooking some pancakes in letter shapes which spelled out "hapy dads day". I smiled as I ate them, managing all but the D and the A. They were awful. My kids can cook if supervised by me, but the wife only knows where the kitchen is because it's on the way to the wine rack...

Dinner was at the Spanish Tavern on Route 22, which we'd not tried before. I had a beautiful dish of Calves Liver, Mmmm. The boy had a lobster, and had much fun pretending it was nipping his nose with its claws. My daughter (who has recently given up red meat, making my hours in the kitchen slightly more difficult) had chicken in almonds, and Mrs JCurl had a fish I'd not heard of before, and whose name escapes me, but looked rather like a plaice.

Yesterday, the public outdoor pool opened - a huge relief in the 100+ degree heat we've been having here this last week.

I got my dad a $35 gift card to his favorite story and me and my sisters pulled our money together to buy him a $140 bike helmet. He hated both gifts.

strike wolf wrote:I got my dad a $35 gift card to his favorite story and me and my sisters pulled our money together to buy him a $140 bike helmet. He hated both gifts.

I hated my breakfast. But I loved that the kids had made it.

Breakfast was probably the highlight of the day for everyone. He hated all his gifts despite how well-thought out they were and he didn't seem to want to do anything. We really put alot of effort into the gifts. He loves gardening so we get him a gift card to his favorite gardening supply store, made a very negative comment about the gift. Next we got him a bike helmet because lately he has made it a habit to bike around the neighborhood, his first comment was that "I already have a helmet" and then later we saw him go off biking with his old helmet, which really upset my sister who had seen the helmet and thought it would be the perfect gift for him.

strike wolf wrote:

apey wrote:*waves enthusiastically from the door*


HI PEOPLES
this thread is dinky

You're such a let down lately, come in and socialize more.

Sorry I have been busy with the new baby I will try and do better in the future

i forgot to get my dad something, so i gave him a hug and a kiss and told him, i gave him much love to a wonderful dad!

It worked so well iu am doing the same next year!

strike wolf wrote:Breakfast was probably the highlight of the day for everyone. He hated all his gifts despite how well-thought out they were and he didn't seem to want to do anything. We really put alot of effort into the gifts. He loves gardening so we get him a gift card to his favorite gardening supply store, made a very negative comment about the gift. Next we got him a bike helmet because lately he has made it a habit to bike around the neighborhood, his first comment was that "I already have a helmet" and then later we saw him go off biking with his old helmet, which really upset my sister who had seen the helmet and thought it would be the perfect gift for him.

When I was a kid, my brother and I were stuck for a father's day gift. I saw some beer mugs with pictures of veteran cars on. I said "let's get him one of those each", and my brother thought this was a good idea.
So, come the day, he opens my brother's gift first (as always). "Ah," says he, "Lovely. The Old bull-nosed Morris, one of my favourite veteran cars." Then he opens mine (with a model-T on). "Your brother's already bought me a mug. Why would I want two?" he says.

I'm still gritting my teeth over that one decades later...

The problem there is you should have had him open them both at once. The bike helmet we got was different though. His bike helmet is probably about 15 years old, doesn't fit him well, and is nearing the end of it's days anyways. The new one is the right size for him and should last a good long time.

I finally saw the Shawshank Redemption and Dances With Wolves. Thought both movies were great though Shawshank made me feel like an idiot as I should have seen that the poster was just to hide his escape route. However some parts of the movie were predictable such as how he took the shoes and how the bible was simply to hide the rock hammer. Overall a really good movie.

Dances with Wolves made me feel sad. I won't talk about this one (less likely that everyone's seen it).

Fell asleep in Shawshank, utterly tedious movie.

Totally thrilled by Dances With Wolves, proved that, whatever most of his films would indicate, Costner can be a great actor when given a great part.

These days I get mainly to see kids movies, or movies like Indiana Jones that the kids want to see, so I'm pretty out of touch with modern cinema. I did get to see The Bank Job a month or two ago, one of the best films in years.