Conquer Club

Me: God why can't everyone just live with you forever?

God: I desire nothing less but I cannot co-exist with sin. This is why I sent my Son to die for all man's sins.

Me: So we are all forgiven for the sins we have committed automatically by His sacrifice?

God: No, it must be received. Man must choose to follow Christ and he will have eternal life.

Me: And what if they don't choose Christ?

God: That is their choice. And by their choice they will be separated from me for eternity. This is free-will and as much as I want to spend eternity with all of mankind....I leave the choice to them.

jay_a2j wrote:Me: [Cult Leader] why can't everyone just live with you forever?

[Cult Leader]: I desire nothing less but I cannot co-exist with sin. This is why I sent my [Prophet] to die for all man's sins.

Me: So we are all forgiven for the sins we have committed automatically by His sacrifice?

[Cult Leader]: No, it must be received. Man must choose to follow [Prophet] and he will have eternal life.

Me: And what if they don't choose [Prophet]?

[Cult Leader]: That is their choice. And by their choice they will be separated from me for eternity. This is free-will and as much as I want to spend eternity with all of mankind....I leave the choice to them.

Rewritten for the masses.

oh man. god is high!

Me:
do you smoke pot?
God:
Only for medical testing purposes.
Me:
are you smoking right now?
God:
At this moment Why? Are you offering any?
Me:
yes
God:
Wow!

Simonov wrote:oh man. god is high!

Me:
do you smoke pot?
God:
Only for medical testing purposes.
Me:
are you smoking right now?
God:
At this moment Why? Are you offering any?
Me:
yes
God:
Wow!

And for some reason marijuana is evil...

Me:
Do you wank?
God:
Only when I am in the U.K.

hilarious.

Me:
What kind of sex u like?
God:
I belong to the support group "Sex without partners".

Could you guys make your own thread to mock God?

Jay, maybe I should bring my "Logic dictates there is no lackattack" thread over here...

luns101 wrote:Jay, maybe I should bring my "Logic dictates there is no lackattack" thread over here...

i believe in lackattack

heavycola wrote:

luns101 wrote:Jay, maybe I should bring my "Logic dictates there is no lackattack" thread over here...

i believe in lackattack

Great...another Lack Thumper! Just what we need.

Well lackattack actually speaks, God has been silent for quite some time.

unriggable wrote:Well lackattack actually speaks, God has been silent for quite some time.

More progress, He's been silent...which means at one time He was speaking. He exists after all.

luns101 wrote:

unriggable wrote:Well lackattack actually speaks, God has been silent for quite some time.

More progress, He's been silent...which means at one time He was speaking. He exists after all.

Tell you what. Find one credible source of him speaking, and I'll believe you. The magic word is 'credible'. People hallucinating in the desert doesn't count.

I'm going to assume you define the Bible as something other than credible.

MR. Nate wrote:I'm going to assume you define the Bible as something other than credible.

I'm still wondering why it isn't in the fiction section, there isn't much in there that's very different from the wonderful wizard of oz.

unriggable wrote:Tell you what. Find one credible source of him speaking, and I'll believe you. The magic word is 'credible'. People hallucinating in the desert doesn't count.

Unriggable, you constantly dismiss anything put forth by a Christian as unreliable or not credible. If you don't believe the testimony of those who witnessed Christ's life & resurrection, why would anything else convince you?

'If they do not listen to Moses and the Prophets, they will not be convinced even if someone rises from the dead.' "

unriggable wrote:

MR. Nate wrote:I'm going to assume you define the Bible as something other than credible.

I'm still wondering why it isn't in the fiction section, there isn't much in there that's very different from the wonderful wizard of oz.

See what I mean!

luns101 wrote:

unriggable wrote:Tell you what. Find one credible source of him speaking, and I'll believe you. The magic word is 'credible'. People hallucinating in the desert doesn't count.

Unriggable, you constantly dismiss anything put forth by a Christian as unreliable or not credible. If you don't believe the testimony of those who witnessed Christ's life & resurrection, why would anything else convince you?

'If they do not listen to Moses and the Prophets, they will not be convinced even if someone rises from the dead.' "

Well the biblical sightings are much less credible than even the most vague UFO sightings. I said this before, it's one thing if a friend said "I just spoke to my father who got executed two days ago" but its another if a friend says his friend's uncle's stepgrandfather owns a book which was written 1750 years ago by a guy who heard about this guy who talked to a guy who claimed to have seen a guy come back to life and talk to that said person. Have you ever heard of the fish scenario? It's like that only the story's been going for 2000 years.

Not to mention mistranslations: an example is how in aramaic virgin and woman are the same word. Easy mistake.

unriggable wrote:Not to mention mistranslations: an example is how in aramaic virgin and woman are the same word. Easy mistake.

Are you aware that the NT was written in Greek?

jay_a2j wrote:Could you guys make your own thread to mock God?

Doesn't free will just suck?

MR. Nate wrote:

unriggable wrote:Not to mention mistranslations: an example is how in aramaic virgin and woman are the same word. Easy mistake.

Are you aware that the NT was written in Greek?

Aramaic was the language spoken in and around the Jerusalem along with Greek, I'm pretty sure that it was written in Aramaic.

luns101 wrote:Jay, maybe I should bring my "Logic dictates there is no lackattack" thread over here...

Please do; I'm surprised you haven't yet. I was going to ask you if I could.

unriggable wrote:Aramaic was the language spoken in and around the Jerusalem along with Greek, I'm pretty sure that it was written in Aramaic.

I'm not denying that Aramaic was spoken in Israel at the time, but trust me, the NT was written in Koine (common) Greek. The OT was written in Hebrew, although Daniel 2:4b - 7:28 was written in Aramaic.

MR. Nate wrote:

unriggable wrote:Aramaic was the language spoken in and around the Jerusalem along with Greek, I'm pretty sure that it was written in Aramaic.

I'm not denying that Aramaic was spoken in Israel at the time, but trust me, the NT was written in Koine (common) Greek. The OT was written in Hebrew, although Daniel 2:4b - 7:28 was written in Aramaic.

yep, the new testament was largely written in greek, the dominant scholarly language of the mediterranean at the time

daddy1gringo wrote:

luns101 wrote:Jay, maybe I should bring my "Logic dictates there is no lackattack" thread over here...

Please do; I'm surprised you haven't yet. I was going to ask you if I could.

I thought about it, but it might come off as a little rude with the mockery.