Conquer Club

OK here we go,

1.) Natty-Dread- I need a Scandinavian to rip the heads off any invaders and drink their blood to scare off any other additional threats.
2.) ol, Saxi- BECAUSE I LOVE BREAKING RULES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
3.) Army of God... oh wait, except you called me a sick f*ck for implying that I would f*ck under aged girls on a deserted island! So I'll just have to pick some random under aged chick on this site, for no reason.... no reason at all...

Phatscotty wrote:

Army of GOD wrote:Nononono, you and sultan will get in slap fights. Like a boxing match.

I am 100% non-violent.

I'm part 25% German, 25% Polish and 25%Italian.

rockfist wrote:

Army of GOD wrote:Funny nietzsche, because I was thinking the same way. It's kinda like a puzzle.

17 years without sex though? Jeez...

I take it you've never been married...

Nay. In fact, I'm only 19, so it'd pretty much be my lifetime over again.



And saxi, you can't deny that you're a horndog too. Even though you're old, you still like playing hide the sausage with Es.

Gilligan = ArmyofGOD

Skipper = tdans

Mary Ann = megaswoman

jefjef wrote:Gilligan = ArmyofGOD
Skipper = tdans
Mary Ann = megaswoman

Which makes you...Ginger? <grin>

saxitoxin wrote:

targetman377 wrote:

saxitoxin wrote:AHHHH!

Gang, the intent of this question was not to come up with the most creative way to copulate while remaining technically compliant with the rules. You all need to be castrated.

hey is that not the point of all your threads sax?

Cause you keep me laughing.

My thread was, once again, threadjacked by AOG and all his no-good friends and their overactive testosterone. I want AOG and all those kids OFF MY LAWN. I'm gonna make a suggestion in the suggestions forum for a Seniors board here in The Club just for those of us 70 and over.*

* We'll let Woodruff in, though, because he has the attitude of a crotchety 80 year-old even if his body is a bit younger. (In contrast to ol' Sax here. I'm a 73 year old man living in a gated community in Santa Barbara but my mind is that of an 18 year-old hip-hop activist kickin' it in a phat loft in San Diego's gas lamp district. Playa in da house!!! wutwut)

I got some names for your seperate group/thread.

"At Deaths Doorstep"
"Alzheimer's."
"No Teeth, Rotting Brains."
"Broken Hip."
"Older Then Dirt."
"Senior Farts"
"Fragile, Handle W/ Care."
"The Sky Use To Be Bluer"
"GET OFF MY LAWN!"
"Delusionals"
"Wrinkly Balls"
"License to Cause Car Wrecks"

I'm sure I could think of more if I put some thought into it buuuuuuut there ya go.

Army of GOD wrote:
And saxi, you can't deny that you're a horndog too. Even though you're old, you still like playing hide the sausage with Es.

There's nothing to hide. Saxi's house is a clothes-free zone. The dominant capitalist ideology restrains freedom-loving people in clothes, thereby underwriting sweat-shop labor in the developing world and lining the pockets of the rich textile oligarchs and their backers in the banking cartels. In a spirit of internationalist solidarity and expression of radical Dadaism ol' Saxi never wears clothes except when the law requires it.*

Back in my days in the NVA I once received a citation because I insisted my fire team conduct open field exercises completely naked as a symbolic show of unity with Mozambique. (My little contrib to history ... the Wachregiment Feliks Dzerzhinsky equivalent to the USA Ranger Regiment's small-unit road crossing tactic of "scrolling the road" was called "flashing the street" [Blitzen die Straße] for many years in honor of ol' Sax.)

HOWEVER, as for Es, I'm far too old to keep up with her but more than once every few months as she's 49 years younger than me. That's why my pool boy comes to the house three times a week and the place is still covered in leaves.

* do dress-up if I'm BBQ'ing brauts, though - safety first, gang

Do you have any hot pics of Es? Perhaps I'll apply to be the new pool boy and I'll ask for a lower wage than your current one.

Army of GOD wrote:Do you have any hot pics of Es? Perhaps I'll apply to be the new pool boy and I'll ask for a lower wage than your current one.

Well, thanks for the offer but Es requires a certain caliber of mustang. I don't know what you look like, AOG, but you write like you may be under 5'10" --- she's rather insistent on me populating the stable with big, thoroughbred stallions. Plus, aren't you in New Hampshire or some such place? Not that that matters too much; Cilantro - our pool boy - travels with the rest of my entourage (Sasparilla, Karl Friedrich and Barto) when we relocate from US California to Mexican California each winter. I have plenty of room in the house in Tecate (land is cheap, we're crammed to the gills up in Santa Barbara, though).

saxitoxin wrote:you write like you may be under 5'10"

This is a God damned low-blow saxi.

I thought we were friends. I guess not. =(



Also, it's not the height of the tree that counts, it's the length and girth of the branch.

Army of GOD wrote:

saxitoxin wrote:you write like you may be under 5'10"

This is a God damned low-blow saxi.

I thought we were friends. I guess not. =(

Also, it's not the height of the tree that counts, it's the length and girth of the branch.

I was right?! Of course - that's ol Sax!

We're famous friends, AOG. These are not my preferences, these are Esmerelda's ... blame her. Sorry!

You probably just read THIS thread: viewtopic.php?f=8&t=120904&start=15

Army of GOD wrote:You probably just read THIS thread: viewtopic.php?f=8&t=120904&start=15

JE SUIS ROTFL!

No, you can tell when little people write. They have a very aggressive style of composition. (I peg Titanic at about 4'10" and Natty Dread as a 7-footer.) Which is OKAY. Everyone needs to be proud of their bodies and celebrate themselves. Our world of diversity is made up of all SHAPES, sizes and colors. Let's celebrate, gang!

Woodruff as Ginger.

UMMMM....nice .... BOW? Just for the record I refuse to share a hut with THAT!

saxitoxin wrote: (I peg Titanic at about 4'10" and Natty Dread as a 7-footer.) Which is OKAY.

Well more like 6 actually (if I got those damn foots converted right. stupid non-metric-system measurements) but I'm glad it's OKAY. Really, it gives me a warm and fuzzy feeling.

And Bison King, you'd be disappointed with me, it's been a while since I've ripped anyone's head off. I've become old and lazy.

norse - so we could start a new england with good old fashioned medieval values.

2 young females whom are under 17 stone ( if possible on this site) to help us populate the island. however, if due to the girls obesity they were unable to conceive. we could use their hefty frames sewn together as a life raft. norse would do the sewing of course, i've heard he's good at needlework and such things.

[player]joshyboy[/player] because he'd be a good minion who'd worship me as the goddess i am
[player]owenshooter[/player] for conversation
[player]colton24[/player] for food. we'd nibble on his toes and test the berries on him until we know what's edible

natty_dread wrote:

saxitoxin wrote: (I peg Titanic at about 4'10" and Natty Dread as a 7-footer.) Which is OKAY.

Well more like 6 actually (if I got those damn foots converted right. stupid non-metric-system measurements) but I'm glad it's OKAY. Really, it gives me a warm and fuzzy feeling.

Hey natty do you walk on two foots?

the.killing.44 wrote:

natty_dread wrote:

saxitoxin wrote: (I peg Titanic at about 4'10" and Natty Dread as a 7-footer.) Which is OKAY.

Well more like 6 actually (if I got those damn foots converted right. stupid non-metric-system measurements) but I'm glad it's OKAY. Really, it gives me a warm and fuzzy feeling.

Hey natty do you walk on two foots?

No, I'm a uniped. I just kinda hop around.

I'd take Saxi, so I could hit him on the head with a stick, and then eat him.
I'd take AOG, so I could hit him on the head with a stick, and then eat him.
I'd take AON, so I could hit him on the head with a stick, and then eat him.

saxitoxin wrote:
There's nothing to hide. Saxi's house is a clothes-free zone. The dominant capitalist ideology restrains freedom-loving people in clothes, thereby underwriting sweat-shop labor in the developing world and lining the pockets of the rich textile oligarchs and their backers in the banking cartels. In a spirit of internationalist solidarity and expression of radical Dadaism ol' Saxi never wears clothes except when the law requires it.*

I love how clothing became a 'capitalist ideology'... the whole intent of which is to 'underwrite sweatshop labor' and 'line the pockets of the rich textile oligarchs'.

So when was clothing invented then... in the mid 1800's?

It must have been if that was the purpose.

The history books of course are in on the joke too, and are "fixed", that's why we all think that clothing was invented in pre-history as a means of protection from the environment. We are all so stupid.

I would just bring the Black Jesus.

He would provide all necessities of life.

jimboston wrote:

saxitoxin wrote:
There's nothing to hide. Saxi's house is a clothes-free zone. The dominant capitalist ideology restrains freedom-loving people in clothes, thereby underwriting sweat-shop labor in the developing world and lining the pockets of the rich textile oligarchs and their backers in the banking cartels. In a spirit of internationalist solidarity and expression of radical Dadaism ol' Saxi never wears clothes except when the law requires it.*

I love how clothing became a 'capitalist ideology'... the whole intent of which is to 'underwrite sweatshop labor' and 'line the pockets of the rich textile oligarchs'.

So when was clothing invented then... in the mid 1800's?

It must have been if that was the purpose.

The history books of course are in on the joke too, and are "fixed", that's why we all think that clothing was invented in pre-history as a means of protection from the environment. We are all so stupid.

I SAID I WEAR CLOTHES WHEN I BBQ BRAUTS.

JIM.

silly willy

BBQ's and Brauts... Tools of the imperialist Pork Oligarcy.

jimboston wrote:BBQ's and Brauts... Tools of the imperialist Pork Oligarcy.

Saxi's brauts are vegi-brauts made from TVP ... not real meat.