Having had a break i decided to play a game and already after 2 rounds i managed to miss a turn so i dont think i would be much good to you guys. Basically after all these years bringing up my 2 boys on my own i have met a wonderful woman and she has stolen me from you and we have lots of plans. Still kinda miss playing games but dont think i will be back.
Its nice that you have not stopped me from looking into the osa forum can i be a life long honoury member
Re: Forum Funnys :)
Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2015 11:10 am
by willedtowin1
just noticed this Sir..... Absolutely!
fyi I have a few people whining that they miss having you as a teammate. Sooooooo........ When you get your shit together....let us know
Re: Forum Funnys :)
Posted: Mon Jul 27, 2015 5:05 pm
by benga
my sitter
Re: Forum Funnys :)
Posted: Fri Jul 31, 2015 9:38 am
by willedtowin1
A teacher is teaching a class and she sees that Johnny isn't paying attention, so she asks him, "If there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?" Johnny says, "None." The teacher asks, "Why?" Johnny says, "Because the shot scared them all off." The teacher says, "No, two, but I like how you're thinking." Johnny asks the teacher, "If you see three women walking out of an ice cream parlor, one is licking her ice cream, one is sucking her ice cream, and one is biting her ice cream, which one is married?" The teacher says, "The one sucking her ice cream." Johnny says, "No, the one with the wedding ring, but I like how you're thinking!"
2015-08-30 20:56:04 - CatchersMitt14 lost 84 points 2015-08-30 20:56:04 - Kevi lost 76 points 2015-08-30 20:56:04 - rmjw10 lost 61 points 2015-08-30 20:56:04 - ponteaus lost 88 points 2015-08-30 20:56:04 - Occluded Front lost 82 points 2015-08-30 20:56:04 - BG Warrior lost 49 points 2015-08-30 20:56:04 - ReDBuLLS lost 100 points 2015-08-30 20:56:04 - Endgame422 lost 100 points 2015-08-30 20:56:04 - benga lost 100 points 2015-08-30 20:56:04 - John the best lost 73 points 2015-08-30 20:56:04 - zipper66 lost 77 points 2015-08-30 20:56:04 - serram gained 890 points 2015-08-30 20:56:04 - CatchersMitt14 has a score of 1572. 2015-08-30 20:56:04 - Kevi has a score of 1415. 2015-08-30 20:56:04 - rmjw10 has a score of 1144. 2015-08-30 20:56:04 - ponteaus has a score of 1632. 2015-08-30 20:56:04 - Occluded Front has a score of 1538. 2015-08-30 20:56:04 - BG Warrior has a score of 915. 2015-08-30 20:56:04 - ReDBuLLS has a score of 2573. 2015-08-30 20:56:04 - Endgame422 has a score of 2420. 2015-08-30 20:56:04 - benga has a score of 2539. 2015-08-30 20:56:04 - John the best has a score of 1368. 2015-08-30 20:56:04 - zipper66 has a score of 1439. 2015-08-30 20:56:04 - serram has a score of 1283. 2015-08-30 20:56:04 - serram has won 1 Bronze Challenge Token - Aug
Re: Forum Funnys :)
Posted: Sun Sep 06, 2015 2:17 pm
by benga
Re: Forum Funnys :)
Posted: Fri Oct 02, 2015 8:34 pm
by Auger13
My first post back here in a long time...
How is spinach like anal sex? Chances are if you were forced to have it as a kid, you'll hate it as an adult
How do you get a fat girl in bed? Piece of cake.
A Priest and a Rabbi run out of a burning school, the Priest turns to the Rabbi and says "What about the kids?!" The Rabbi says "f*ck the kids!" and the Priest says "Do you think we'll have time?".
A priest and a rabbi are walking past a playground. The priest turns to the rabbi and says, "Let's go screw those kids." The rabbi replies, "Outta what?"
Re: Forum Funnys :)
Posted: Wed Dec 16, 2015 4:11 am
by silversun6
A priest, a rapist, and a child molester walks into a bar. The bartender asks "What can I get you father?
Re: Forum Funnys :)
Posted: Tue Sep 12, 2017 8:01 am
by willedtowin1
A family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father, “Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?” The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions.” “Onions?” the son asks. “Yes. You see them and they make you cry.” This infuriated his wife and daughter. The daughter asks, “Mom, how many different kinds of willies are there?” The mother smiles and says, “Well, dear, a man goes through three phases also. In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it’s like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it’s like a Christmas tree.” “A Christmas tree?” the daughter asks. “Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration.”
It's been a bit of a strange day. First I found a hat full of money. Then I was chased down the sidewalk by an angry man with a guitar! I went line dancing last night. Well, it was really a road-side sobriety test...same thing.
Therapist: Your wife says you never buy her flowers, is that true? Me: I honestly never knew she sold flowers.
I stopped to pick up a hitchhiker. After several miles, he asked, "Aren't you afraid that I might be a serial killer?"
I replied, "The odds of two serial killers being in the same car are extremely unlikely."
Some folks are not shaking hands due to fear of the corona virus. I'm not shaking hands 'cause everyone's out of toilet paper. --
Re: Forum Funnys :)
Posted: Fri Apr 24, 2020 3:29 pm
by willedtowin1
A suspected Covid-19 male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student female nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath. "Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?" Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet." He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?" Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other. She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine." The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly, "Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very, very, closely: "Are - my - test - results - back?"
Re: Forum Funnys :)
Posted: Thu May 21, 2020 8:04 pm
by willedtowin1
Guns don’t kill people – husbands who come home early, do.
Whenever I want to be left alone, I go to the mall and hold a clipboard.
What do they call 100 John Deeres circling a McDonald’s in Iowa?
Prom night.
Re: Forum Funnys :)
Posted: Mon Aug 10, 2020 6:29 pm
by willedtowin1
...asked the priest beside her, "Father, may I ask a favor?"
"Of course child. What may I do for you?"
"Well, I bought my mother an expensive hair dryer for her birthday. It is unopened but well over the customs limits and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through Customs for me? Hide it under your robes perhaps?"
"I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you, I will not lie."
"With your honest face, Father, no one will question you," she replied. When they got to Customs, she let the priest go first. The official asked, "Father, do you have anything to declare?"
"From the top of my head down to my waist I have nothing to declare." The official thought this answer strange, so asked, "And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?"
Father replied, "I have a marvelous instrument designed to be used on a woman, which is, to date, unused."
Roaring with laughter, the official said, "Go ahead, Father. Next please!"
Re: Forum Funnys :)
Posted: Mon Aug 24, 2020 12:40 am
by Lord Arioch
So its board meeting at Pepsi HQ. The board is gloating. - We sell Pepsi all over the world, no place is without our beverage! A clerk runs in short of breath. - Sir this tiny hamlet in the middle of Africa have never ever heard or seen a Pepsi can!!! - WHAT! Fast send our top salesman there with a trailer of Pepsi. Some time passes ….no word …. Director: assemble a rescue squad! Something is amiss.
The rescue team arrives, finding the trailer, and a trail of empty Pepsi cans leading into the jungle, they follow. Arriving at the hamlet they find the chief of the tribe humongously fat sitting a topp a Mound of empty Pepsi cans. Crap the bastards have eaten our salesguy…. But we need to bring something home for burial…. - The arm did u eat the arm? - Ohhh the arm we barbecued it, and, drank loads of Pepsi with it! - Damn, the leg did u eat that? - Oh juicy and tender, and we drank LOADS of Pepsi with it! - How about the ”thing” u know, points to his groin…. - OHHHH the thing was the best with garlic, and we… - Yeah, yeah u drank loads of Pepsi with the thing… Chief: no, no things go better with coca-cola.
