Conquer Club

Granted. Now everyone is just a freak!

I wish we weren't freaks!

granted. But only on your toes.

I wish I was in the pub.

Granted. But the pub is closed and you get arrested for burglary.

I wish there were more hours in the day.

Granted, but all of the extra hours are put into your work hours

I wish that I had a candy cane

Granted but you have to sacrifice both of your arms.

I wish I was blind just for one day.

Granted, but you walk into a 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 mi.
deep pit and kill yourself.

I wish that I had an IQ of over 300.

Granted, but in an experiment a freak accident occurs and you become blind for a day. Now as you are blind you accidentally eat someone else's lunch at a Panera. Now, while that may seem absolutely fine, the man who's lunch you ate happens to be the person who is about to present the world with Halo 4 at a press conference. He gets upset with you and wastes an hour trying to get another lunch, but it is too late. His conference disbanded, and the man gets run over by a semi the next day, along with the one and only copy of Halo 4. Now, as the media is very prompt about such things they get all over this, and when the Halo fans of the world hear about it, they form a guild to discover who ate the man's lunch. Needless to say, you suddenly find an urge to become an astronaut, and are the first person to get stranded on the moon. However, these Halo players do not give up! They decide that the best thing would be to send an ICBM at the moon, so they do. The End.

::Gasps!::

I wish I didn't take so long to write that lol

Granted but now the previous wish did not get corrupted and the universe implodes.

I wish I was deaf for a day.

Granted, but you didn't get to hear that Halo 4 didn't come out.
you go to the store to buy it but they don't have it.
You spend the rest of your life in complete misery.

I wish that the corrupt a wish foundation gave money for each wish that you corrupted

Granted but you die at midnight. By walking off a cliff.

I wish that pub had been open. And had some prawn cocktail crisps.

Granted but you get food poisoning and end up warded in the hospital for a month.

I wish I could think of better wishes!

Granted. But you quickly tire of this thread and it's substandard wishes and go to live alone in a cave.

I wish Dick Cheney had shot himself in the face.

Granted but in a strange twist he's now president-elect instead of Obama.

I wish I had a werewolf.

Granted, but when it's the full moon, he eats you.

I wish that I could play all the songs on Guitar Hero on expert.

Granted: But know you have no life.

I wish I was the guy in my avitar

Granted but now almost all aspects of your life are controlled by some guy with a control who apparently finds it enjoyable to make you hurt yourself.

I wish that my werewolf hadn't eaten me.

Granted, but he destroys your computer and you can't play CC anymore.

I wish that I had a hand grenade.

granted, but said hand grenade has been filled with potpourri and upon detonation makes you smell like old lady for the rest of eternity.

i wish i didn't need contacts

Granted, but you need glasses.

I wish I had more money.

Granted, but you only get enough extra to buy a tootsie pop at the local drug store every five weeks.

I wish i didnt need contacts OR glasses...come on!

granted, but your eyes go completely blind

I wish no one would suicide.

Granted, but now the world is lousy with depressed and gloomy people.

I wish I had an ice cream bar.

granted, but it's melted.

I wish for nothing.

Granted now you have absolutely nothing. Even the clothes on your back have been taken away.

I wish that Tropic Thunder had been funnier.

Granted, but you can never see it again

I wish that I could change my shape. (I.E. turn into an animal)