Conquer Club

teehee

alright this one is gonna be with zombies again, but it'll be original not from RE4 again


you gotta take a piss. you walk into your small, claustrophobic bathroom (with the shower adjacent to the toilet) and lock the door behind you. you unzip and right there next to you is a zombie standing in the shower. He has a chainsaw. You scream, but no one outside can get in and help you since you locked the door. he breaks the translucent glass shower door, and swings.

what do you do?

whip my dick back out and make him cry because I poked his eye out. I walk over to the door and leave.

no he slices it off

then he goes for the head.

next?

duck dodging the chainsaw and grabbing a sharp piece of glass and stab him with it distracting him for a minute while you shove its head in the toilet and drown it while closeing the lid and step on the lid to keep it's head down and then grab the chainsaw and slash it into bite sized peices for easy munching

goop: while you're standing on the lid, he slices your legs off with the chainsaw, making you fall off and hit the floor... the rest is obvious... you die

you were kinda kinda close

next?

Duck, unlock the damn door since I'm not stupid enough to fight in a small space, and run like hell.

Masket: the lock is the kind of lock that you have to push and turn the tiny circular knob, while you try to unlock the zombie slices through your stomach

unfortunately guys I will be on vacation starting tomorrow for 3 weeks, so today is your last chance to win before I give it up to some random person

static_ice wrote:
you gotta take a piss. you walk into your small, claustrophobic bathroom (with the shower adjacent to the toilet) and lock the door behind you. you unzip and right there next to you is a zombie standing in the shower. He has a chainsaw. You scream, but no one outside can get in and help you since you locked the door. he breaks the translucent glass shower door, and swings.

what do you do?

ok there are 2 situations:

1. if the zombie is gay he sees my dick and gets horny he starts begging me to give it to him. i take advantage of his moment of weakness and kill him.

2. if the zombie is straight i dive to the side and avoid his swing. take a glass shard and quickly poke his eyes out. he starts to swing around the chainsaw not being able to see me. so i go ahead and piss (i couldn't hold it in) the i take another glass shard and start cutting him piece by piece

DiM: the zombie is straight: you poke one of his eyes out but he still sees with the other one and kills you


comon guys, the key to this game is the location

static_ice wrote:DiM: the zombie is straight: you poke one of his eyes out but he still sees with the other one and kills you

i said:

2. if the zombie is straight i dive to the side and avoid his swing. take a glass shard and quickly poke his eyes out. he starts to swing around the chainsaw not being able to see me. so i go ahead and piss (i couldn't hold it in) the i take another glass shard and start cutting him piece by piece

Break the mirror.

DiM: I know, you poke one out but while you're trying to get the other, he kills you

Pancake: no



I gotta go so I'll just say the answer: turn the shower on.

you find out that he has an electric chainsaw and he gets electrocuted

next person to post is the winner have fun and see everyone in 3 weeks

static_ice wrote:DiM: I know, you poke one out but while you're trying to get the other, he kills you

i said i quickly stab him in both eyes so he does not have time to kill me.

also you never said the chainsaw is electric. i just assumed it is a petrol powered chainsaw.

static_ice wrote:next person to post is the winner have fun and see everyone in 3 weeks

so i guess i'm the winner

here is the situation:

you are in a wide space surrounded by bright colors. a big pink pony comes and licks your hand. an apple magically appears in your pocket. you feed the pony with the apple. a fairy then pops out of nowhere and transforms the pony into a golden unicorn. it was a magic spell that you broke. the unicorn swears he will be your trusty assistant till he dies. he talks plays chess and makes great pasta. both of you set of to a distant castle. when you get there you find a riddle on the door:
" hagla bagla, gibby doo
say the pass and i'll open for you"

since you feel like taking a piss so bad and probably inside the castle is a toilet you must open the door. what do you do?


oh and behind you appears an invincible magical dragon that wants to steal your kidneys. so you really must open the door to escape.

I inform the unicorn that I'm not actually a virgin.

DiM wrote:also you never said the chainsaw is electric. i just assumed it is a petrol powered chainsaw.

I just said it was a chainsaw, I didn't say it was gas-powered or electric or whatever, that's what makes it fun

anyways you guys have fun with this

Aimless wrote:I inform the unicorn that I'm not actually a virgin.

the unicorn thanks you for that bit of info then the dragon slices you open and removes your kidneys. you die and he makes 10k bukc by selling them on the black market.

I say "the pass" and leave the unicorn for dead.

I trade the Unicorn to the Dragon for the password, obviously he knows it and Unicorn won't care because he's my servent

DiM wrote:

Aimless wrote:I inform the unicorn that I'm not actually a virgin.

the unicorn thanks you for that bit of info then the dragon slices you open and removes your kidneys. you die and he makes 10k bukc by selling them on the black market.

Oh dear. That didn't seem to work at all.

I pull out my situation editor and make sure to inform the Unicorn that I'm not actually a virgin *before* he brings me to the Castle. There, that should take care of the problem.

pancakemix wrote:I say "the pass" and leave the unicorn for dead.

you say "the pass" and the door still does not open. for sure that wasn't the right answer. you die.

Cheesemore wrote:I trade the Unicorn to the Dragon for the password, obviously he knows it and Unicorn won't care because he's my servent

the dragon takes the unicorn and eats it. but still he does not tell you the pass. you threaten with a lawsuit but he just rips you open and takes your kidneys.

Aimless wrote:

DiM wrote:

Aimless wrote:I inform the unicorn that I'm not actually a virgin.

the unicorn thanks you for that bit of info then the dragon slices you open and removes your kidneys. you die and he makes 10k bukc by selling them on the black market.

Oh dear. That didn't seem to work at all.

I pull out my situation editor and make sure to inform the Unicorn that I'm not actually a virgin *before* he brings me to the Castle. There, that should take care of the problem.

sorry you're already at the castle door

Tell the dragon to open the gate so you can empty your kidneys. Nobody likes full kidneys. Don't come back.

pancakemix wrote:Tell the dragon to open the gate so you can empty your kidneys. Nobody likes full kidneys. Don't come back.

he laughs at you. you pee in your pants dragon opens your entrails and takes your kidneys. you die.