Human arguement generator

[Strife]

Continuation of my previous with Eliza:

I see.
>> Harder, rougher? instructions please?
Do you feel strongly of such things?
>> Yes
Why?
>> I'm going limp.
Do you believe it's normal to be going limp?
>> Yes.
Please go on.
>> After I have cum on you...
Perhaps in my fantasies we have cum on each other.
>> I bet we have. ; )

[Norse]

Another one:

>> Hello
State your problem.
>> Your breasts.
Why are you concerned over my breasts?
>> They are nice.
Did you think they might not be nice?
>> I thought they might be fake. : (
You say you they might be fake?
>> Why are you repeating what I said?
Why do you ask?
>> NVM, Back to your firm breasts.
What about your own nice firm breasts?
>> I'm a male, you know that, you were playing with me last night. ; )
Is it because you are male that you came to me?
>> Yes.
You are sure?
>> I am.
How long have your been?
>> Bout 7 inches. why?
Please go on?
>> Condomless?
What does that mean to you?
>> O.O YES! : D
You are sure.
>> Rough sex.
Do you fell strongly about this?
>> Yeah, thanks for it.
I'm not sure I understand.
>> Well, I either insert my penis into your vagina, butt, or mouth. Your choice.
Your penis into my vagina?
>> Sure.
Let's put this further into our minds.
>> Damn, you sure get into it fast. : O

Fucking classic.

[Skittles!]

Human Argument Generator, Copyright 1987,2000 Jim W. Lai

HAG: What topic shall we discuss?
Human: COMMUNIST
HAG: Fine. You may begin.
Human: COMMUNIST
HAG: Shut up.
Human: COMMUNIST
HAG: Asshole.
Human: COMMUNIST
HAG: You have absolutely no credibility whatsoever.
Human: COMMUNIST
HAG: You don't really believe that, do you?
Human: COMMUNIST
HAG: You're wrong! Completely and totally wrong!
Human: COMMUNIST
HAG: You're a jerk.
Human: COMMUNIST
HAG: The debate is over. I have won.

[EvilPurpleMonkey]

I think my bowels exploded.

>> Hello.
How do you do. Please state your problem.
>> I'm constipated
Is it because you are constipated that you came to me ?
>> Yes, I need some laxatives.
You seem to be quite positive.
>> Well, not really, my ass is clogged with shit.
Your ass is clogged with shit ?
>> Yes, very much so. Can you prescribe me with some laxatives?
You are sure.
>> Yes, I am sure
I see.
>> So, what? Can you give me some laxatives?
Why do you ask ?
>> Because I'm constipated.
Is that the real reason ?
>> Umm...Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's the real reason.
How long have you been pretty sure that's the real reason ?
>> About a week ago, I noticed I wasn't pooping regularily.
You say you noticed you wasn't pooping regularily ?
>> Yeah, it would only be once every two days.
Lets discuss further why your ass is clogged with shit .
>> Well, I did eat a lot of chinese food.
Can you elaborate on that ?
>> Well, it's sticky and I imagine it's hard to digest, plus I ate a lot of the stuff before my constipation.
Do you say it's sticky and you imagine it's hard to digest for some special reason ?
>> Yes, because it is.
I understand.
>> That's good, now can I please have some laxatives?
Whether or not you can please have some laxatives depends on you more than me.
>> Well, not really, I can't get laxatives, but your a doctor, so you could prescribe some for me.
How do you think that you can't get laxatives ?
>> Well, none of the over the couner ones have worked so far, and my doctors won't prescribe me any, so I came to you.
Why do you say your doctors won't prescribe you any ?
>> Because that's just it, the pricks won't.
Don't any other reasons come to mind ?
>> No, not really.
Are you saying no just to be negative?
>> No, I'm saying no because I can't crap.
You are being a bit negative.
>> Well, I guess things could be worse
That's quite interesting.
>> I suppose
You say you suppose ?
>> Yes, I say I suppose.
You seem to be quite positive.
>> Well, I wouldn't say I'm positive or negative.
Do you believe it is normal to be positive or negative ?
>> Yeah, I suppose it is.
Can you elaborate on that ?
>> Sorry, but this isn't going anywhere, can I please have some fucking laxatives?
Please don't apologise.
>> Ok, so, can I have the laxatives then?
Do you want to be able to have the laxatives then ?
>> Yes, I do, very much.
You are sure.
>> Very
Earlier you said your doctors won't prescribe you any .
>> Yeah, what about that?
Does that question interest you ?
>> Well, I suppose, but you brought it up.
Do you say you suppose for some special reason ?
>> Because I do
Does that reason seem to explain anything else ?
>> Tell me something.
I'm not sure I understand you fully.
>> Tell me something about yourself?
Please go on.
>> Why will you not prescribe me any laxatives?
What is it you really wanted to know ?
>> I really want to know why you won't prescribe me some fucking laxatives.
Perhaps in your fantasies we really want to know why each other.
>> That doesn't even make any fucking sense.
What does that suggest to you ?
>> That your a shitty computer program. I just wanted some ex lax or something.
Do computers worry you ?
>> Well, yeah. Sometimes I worry about what the future will be like with all this electrical technology.
In what way ?
>> Well, have you seen the movie
We were discussing you -- not me.
>> Terminator?
Do you feel strongly about discussing such things ?
>> Yeah, it's fucking scary, machine killing off mankind.
Why do you mention computers ?
>> Because they scare me.
What other reasons might there be ?
>> ...I'm computer illiterate.
What do you think machines have to do with your problem ?
>> I don't understand them, and they confuse me.
Don't you really understand them ?
>> No, I don't.
Why not ?
>> Because I never learned.
Is that the real reason ?
>> Yes, that is the real reason.
I see.
>> Thanks, I fell a lot better (Apart from my constipation.).
Does that suggest anything else which belongs to you ?
>> Goodbye
Goodbye. Thank you for talking to me.
>> bitch

[Iliad]

HAG: What topic shal we discuss?
Me: This debate is over I win!
HAG: You may begin.

WTF?
___________________________
with Eliza:

>> Hello
Please state your problem.
>> Your mother is sick.
Why are you concerned of my mother is sick?
>>Can you elaborate?
You belive I can elaborate don't you?
>> What does that supposed to mean?
Why do you ask?
>> Because your statement doesn't make sense.
Is that the real reason?
>> Yes.
You seem to be quite positive.
>> ...
I'm not sure I understand you fully.
>> Are you retarded.
Why are you intrested in whether I am retarded or not?
>> Because you say stupid things.
Don't any other reasons come to mind?
>> Yes.
You are sure.
>> Huh?
Please go on.
>> With what?
Does that question intrest you?
>> What do you mean?
What is it you really wanted to know?
>> Elaborate.
What does that suggest to you?
>> That I don't get what you are saying.
Don't you really get what I are saying?
>> O' RLY?

WTF?
__________________________________
Another one:

>> Hello
State your problem.
>> Your breasts.
Why are you concerned over my breasts?
>> They are nice.
Did you think they might not be nice?
>> I thought they might be fake. : (
You say you they might be fake?
>> Why are you repeating what I said?
Why do you ask?
>> NVM, Back to your firm breasts.
What about your own nice firm breasts?
>> I'm a male, you know that, you were playing with me last night. ; )
Is it because you are male that you came to me?
>> Yes.
You are sure?
>> I am.
How long have your been?
>> Bout 7 inches. why?
Please go on?
>> Condomless?
What does that mean to you?
>> O.O YES! : D
You are sure.
>> Rough sex.
Do you fell strongly about this?
>> Yeah, thanks for it.
I'm not sure I understand.
>> Well, I either insert my penis into your vagina, butt, or mouth. Your choice.
Your penis into my vagina?
>> Sure.
Let's put this further into our minds.
>> Damn, you sure get into it fast. : O

[Jehan]

http://www.markconnell.com/
click the green button in the middle of the page. if you google conversation bot or something similar you should find some more.


http://www.jabberwacky.com/george - george

http://www.jabberwacky.com/yourbot - whole bunch of different bots.

http://www.oliverbot.com/ - oliverbot has been known to bring up charlie parker out of nowhere.

[Norse]

I think my bowels exploded.

>> Hello.
How do you do. Please state your problem.
>> I'm constipated
Is it because you are constipated that you came to me ?
>> Yes, I need some laxatives.
You seem to be quite positive.
>> Well, not really, my ass is clogged with shit.
Your ass is clogged with shit ?
>> Yes, very much so. Can you prescribe me with some laxatives?
You are sure.
>> Yes, I am sure
I see.
>> So, what? Can you give me some laxatives?
Why do you ask ?
>> Because I'm constipated.
Is that the real reason ?
>> Umm...Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's the real reason.
How long have you been pretty sure that's the real reason ?
>> About a week ago, I noticed I wasn't pooping regularily.
You say you noticed you wasn't pooping regularily ?
>> Yeah, it would only be once every two days.
Lets discuss further why your ass is clogged with shit .
>> Well, I did eat a lot of chinese food.
Can you elaborate on that ?
>> Well, it's sticky and I imagine it's hard to digest, plus I ate a lot of the stuff before my constipation.
Do you say it's sticky and you imagine it's hard to digest for some special reason ?
>> Yes, because it is.
I understand.
>> That's good, now can I please have some laxatives?
Whether or not you can please have some laxatives depends on you more than me.
>> Well, not really, I can't get laxatives, but your a doctor, so you could prescribe some for me.
How do you think that you can't get laxatives ?
>> Well, none of the over the couner ones have worked so far, and my doctors won't prescribe me any, so I came to you.
Why do you say your doctors won't prescribe you any ?
>> Because that's just it, the pricks won't.
Don't any other reasons come to mind ?
>> No, not really.
Are you saying no just to be negative?
>> No, I'm saying no because I can't crap.
You are being a bit negative.
>> Well, I guess things could be worse
That's quite interesting.
>> I suppose
You say you suppose ?
>> Yes, I say I suppose.
You seem to be quite positive.
>> Well, I wouldn't say I'm positive or negative.
Do you believe it is normal to be positive or negative ?
>> Yeah, I suppose it is.
Can you elaborate on that ?
>> Sorry, but this isn't going anywhere, can I please have some fucking laxatives?
Please don't apologise.
>> Ok, so, can I have the laxatives then?
Do you want to be able to have the laxatives then ?
>> Yes, I do, very much.
You are sure.
>> Very
Earlier you said your doctors won't prescribe you any .
>> Yeah, what about that?
Does that question interest you ?
>> Well, I suppose, but you brought it up.
Do you say you suppose for some special reason ?
>> Because I do
Does that reason seem to explain anything else ?
>> Tell me something.
I'm not sure I understand you fully.
>> Tell me something about yourself?
Please go on.
>> Why will you not prescribe me any laxatives?
What is it you really wanted to know ?
>> I really want to know why you won't prescribe me some fucking laxatives.
Perhaps in your fantasies we really want to know why each other.
>> That doesn't even make any fucking sense.
What does that suggest to you ?
>> That your a shitty computer program. I just wanted some ex lax or something.

I have not cried so hard in a long time whilst reading this.

[mr. incrediball]

...i think i blew it

>> Hello.
How do you do. Please state your problem.
>> well, there's this guy called norse, and... i think i love him
You say you think you love him ?
>> yes, as a matter of fact i do.
You seem to be quite positive.
>> wait, what makes you think that?
Why do you ask ?
>> because... look, just shut up and start answering the goddam question!
Is that the real reason ?
>> wut?
I'm not sure I understand you fully.
>> me neither. can we get back to my problem?
Your problem ?
>> NORSE!
Lets discuss further why your problem .
>> jesus...
Please go on.
>> ...christ?
What does that suggest to you ?
>> a man who... um... There, see? you're changing the subject again!
What makes you think I am changing the subject again ?
>> for the love of...
Do you feel strongly about discussing such things ?
>> yes, in fact, i am in love with norse. remember?
You are sure.
>> YES, I'M FUCKING SURE!
I see.
>> so, um... do you have any straight-pills, or something?
We were discussing you -- not me.
>> i... see.
Can you elaborate on that ?
>> well, i was discussing me, but... you kind of... just shut up!
Were you really ?
>> look, if you're not going to help, then...
Do you think its likely that I are not going to help ?
>> well, maybe if you had sex with me, then...
Do you wish that I had sex with you ?
>> very much, it would help a lot with my norse problem.
Why do you say your norse problem ?
>> have you been listening?
Oh, I been listening ?
>> i'm guessing english isn't your first language -_-
Is it because you are guessing english isn't my first language that you came to me ?
>> no, i came to you to help me stop being gay. i see now the only way that is possible is to have sex with you. how much?
Are you saying no just to be negative?
>> were you even listening?
Would you like to believe I was even listening ?
>> yes, it is in fact what you are paid for.
I understand.
>> HAH!
But your norse problem .
>> yes... so... um...
You seem to be quite positive.
>> -_-
I'm not sure I understand you fully.
>> there's nothing to understand. goodbye.
Goodbye. Thank you for talking to me.

[Norse]

Hehe. Eliza isn't really that helpful is she.

[mr. incrediball]

Hehe. Eliza isn't really that helpful is she.

actually she solved the problem. didn't think about you for weeks after i met her.

[mr. incrediball]

Aha! i did better against the HAG!

HAG: What topic shall we discuss?
Human: the argument is over. i have won
HAG: Fine. You may begin.
Human: um...
HAG: You don't expect semi-intelligent people to believe that, do you?
Human: i... what?
HAG: You are an egotistic, self-righteous jerk -- a complete asshole.
Human: and you're a retarded computer who loves the sound of its own voice, but i still had sex with tyour mother.
HAG: Screw you.
Human: so's your face.
HAG: Stick to the facts! Have you no understanding of proper debating?
Human: well, seeing as i won in the first place, hurling semi-arguments at me isn't going to work.
HAG: You are self-centered, egocentric scum.
Human: i believe you've already said something along those lines, dumbass.
HAG: Nazi!
Human: jew!
HAG: The debate is over. I have won.

[Strife]

Aha! i did better against the HAG!

HAG: What topic shall we discuss?
Human: the argument is over. i have won
HAG: Fine. You may begin.
Human: um...
HAG: You don't expect semi-intelligent people to believe that, do you?
Human: i... what?
HAG: You are an egotistic, self-righteous jerk -- a complete asshole.
Human: and you're a retarded computer who loves the sound of its own voice, but i still had sex with tyour mother.
HAG: Screw you.
Human: so's your face.
HAG: Stick to the facts! Have you no understanding of proper debating?
Human: well, seeing as i won in the first place, hurling semi-arguments at me isn't going to work.
HAG: You are self-centered, egocentric scum.
Human: i believe you've already said something along those lines, dumbass.
HAG: Nazi!
Human: jew!
HAG: The debate is over. I have won.

Nice comeback...

[LSU Tiger Josh]

HAG: What topic shall we discuss?
Human: bitches
HAG: Fine. You may begin.
Human: your mom is one
HAG: Drop dead.
Human: already did
HAG: I think I'm going to puke!
Human: drink more beer to replenish the liquid you toss
HAG: Screw you.
Human: done that already
HAG: Go stick your head in a bucket!
Human: won't fit
HAG: Where do you get that stuff?
Human: your mother
HAG: Nazi!
Human: better than being a communist like you
HAG: The debate is over. I have won.

[jay_a2j]

HAG: What topic shall we discuss?
Human: Ron Paul
HAG: Fine. You may begin.
Human: He's the best choice to vote for.
HAG: Yeah, if you're a conspiracy nut.
Human: What? You think the US government is on the up and up?
HAG: ROFL! Lets be serious.
Human: So why is Ron Paul a bad choice?
HAG: Because Luns doesn't endorse him.
Human: Is that required?
HAG: Well if you can at least get Stopper to endorse him, I might reconsider.
Human: Stopper's not even American!
HAG: Neither is the BMW and that's cool.
Human: Our freedoms are in jeopardy of being taken away!
HAG: Then vote your conscience.
Human: I will, Ron Paul.
HAG: The debate is over. You have won.

[F1fth]

Something stupid

...


Anyway, Norse, you're "discussion" with Eliza made me laugh.

[jay_a2j]

Something stupider

[reverend_kyle]

HAG: What topic shall we discuss?
Human: Ron Paul
HAG: Fine. You may begin.
Human: He's the best choice to vote for.
HAG: Yeah, if you're a conspiracy nut.
Human: What? You think the US government is on the up and up?
HAG: ROFL! Lets be serious.
Human: So why is Ron Paul a bad choice?
HAG: Because Luns doesn't endorse him.
Human: Is that required?
HAG: Well if you can at least get Stopper to endorse him, I might reconsider.
Human: Stopper's not even American!
HAG: Neither is the BMW and that's cool.
Human: Our freedoms are in jeopardy of being taken away!
HAG: Then vote your conscience.
Human: I will, Ron Paul.
HAG: The debate is over. You have won.

It's clear you didn't win that debate though.

[Fircoal]

HAG: What topic shall we discuss?
Human: bitches
HAG: Fine. You may begin.
Human: your mom is one
HAG: Drop dead.
Human: already did
HAG: I think I'm going to puke!
Human: drink more beer to replenish the liquid you toss
HAG: Screw you.
Human: done that already
HAG: Go stick your head in a bucket!
Human: won't fit
HAG: Where do you get that stuff?
Human: your mother
HAG: Nazi!
Human: better than being a communist like you
HAG: The debate is over. I have won.

This made me laugh my lead off.

[reverend_kyle]

HAG: What topic shall we discuss?
Human: bitches
HAG: Fine. You may begin.
Human: your mom is one
HAG: Drop dead.
Human: already did
HAG: I think I'm going to puke!
Human: drink more beer to replenish the liquid you toss
HAG: Screw you.
Human: done that already
HAG: Go stick your head in a bucket!
Human: won't fit
HAG: Where do you get that stuff?
Human: your mother
HAG: Nazi!
Human: better than being a communist like you
HAG: The debate is over. I have won.

This made me laugh my lead off.

thought you'd like the LEAST funny one.

[Iliad]

HAG: What topic shall we discuss?
Human: Ron Paul
HAG: Fine. You may begin.
Human: He's the best choice to vote for.
HAG: Yeah, if you're a conspiracy nut.
Human: What? You think the US government is on the up and up?
HAG: ROFL! Lets be serious.
Human: So why is Ron Paul a bad choice?
HAG: Because Luns doesn't endorse him.
Human: Is that required?
HAG: Well if you can at least get Stopper to endorse him, I might reconsider.
Human: Stopper's not even American!
HAG: Neither is the BMW and that's cool.
Human: Our freedoms are in jeopardy of being taken away!
HAG: Then vote your conscience.
Human: I will, Ron Paul.
HAG: The debate is over. You have won.

Because that surely happened

[bryguy]

the first one wouldnt work for me, so i tried the second

>> Hello.
How do you do. Please state your problem.
>> You
We were discussing you -- not me.
>> But your my problem
Your problem ?
>> My problem is u
Why do you say your problem is u ?
>> Cause you are my problem
Does that suggest anything else which belongs to you ?
>> NO
Are you saying no just to be negative?
>> Yes, and youre still my problem
You seem to be quite positive.
>> No im not
You are being a bit negative.
>> Lets get back to the subject, your my problem
Is it important that your problem ?
>> and your an idiot, thats why your my problme
Why are you concerned over my an idiot ?
>> Im concerned over you (Eliza) and my spelling now
Your spelling now ?
>> Yes, you and my splleing
You are sure.
>> no
Why not ?
>> cause i dont like to be sure
Don't you really like to be sure ?
>> no
Why 'no' ?
>> cause i like no
You say cause you like no ?
>> yes
I see.

[EvilPurpleMonkey]

http://www.markconnell.com/
click the green button in the middle of the page. if you google conversation bot or something similar you should find some more.


http://www.jabberwacky.com/george - george

http://www.jabberwacky.com/yourbot - whole bunch of different bots.

http://www.oliverbot.com/ - oliverbot has been known to bring up charlie parker out of nowhere.

Shit, that Mark Connel one scared me! It asked where I lived after I insulted it and admitted to being a rapist!

[dominationnation]

Human Argument Generator, Copyright 1987,2000 Jim W. Lai

HAG: What topic shall we discuss?
Human: I dont know. You decide
HAG: Fine. You may begin.
Human: Begin with what? You have yet to present me with a topic.
HAG: I am infallibly correct and morally superior!
Human: well theres an interesting topic for ya
HAG: You don't know what you're talking about.
Human: Well I dont like you either
HAG: Screw you.
Human: I did your mom
HAG: Screw you.
Human: no. screw your mom
HAG: Drop dead.
Human: A little late for that one
HAG: Don't give me that crap.
Human: Its not crap. Its shit
HAG: The debate is over. I have won.


Human Argument Generator, Copyright 1987,2000 Jim W. Lai

HAG: What topic shall we discuss?
Human: The fact of the overly huge problem of people complaining about the fact that there are to many whinning people. ALso I bieleve we should cover that fact that YOUR A DICK
HAG: Fine. You may begin.
Human: -_-
HAG: Where do you get that stuff?
Human: Oh I got a whole stash
HAG: You are self-centered, egocentric scum.
Human: so is busch
HAG: Communist!
Human: DICK!
HAG: Asshole.
Human: fucker
HAG: Shut up.
Human: you
HAG: Communist!
Human: NAZI!
HAG: The debate is over. I have won.

HAG: What topic shall we discuss?
Human: HOw you randomly cut me off in the middle of a heated debate in our last debate
HAG: Fine. You may begin.
Human: why did you cut me off?
HAG: Nazi!
Human: NAZI!
HAG: Give up. You don't have a case.
Human: Give up. You don't have a case.
HAG: Drop dead.
Human: Drop dead.
HAG: Asshole.
Human: Asshole.
HAG: Give up. You don't have a case.
Human: Give up. You don't have a case.
HAG: You are full of it, aren't you?
Human: You are full of it, aren't you?
HAG: The debate is over. I have won.


Human Argument Generator, Copyright 1987,2000 Jim W. Lai

HAG: What topic shall we discuss?
Human: conquer club
HAG: Fine. You may begin.
Human: they are all losers on their
HAG: Bullshit.
Human: I know. It is isnt it
HAG: Your feeble attempt at self-glorification is pathetic.
Human: WIll you marry me?
HAG: Stick to the facts! Have you no understanding of proper debating?
Human: WE could go to vagas
HAG: I think I'm going to puke!
Human: a simple "no" would of done just fine
HAG: Don't insult my intelligence.
Human: ;(
HAG: Have you ever considered seeing a psychiatrist?
Human: Im willing to see a marage counsler
HAG: The debate is over. I have won.

[The Weird One]

Human Argument Generator, Copyright 1987,2000 Jim W. Lai

HAG: What topic shall we discuss?
Human: the downfall of american society
HAG: Fine. You may begin.
Human: american society is on a downward slope
HAG: You're a jerk.
Human: and so are you
HAG: Screw you.
Human: F*ck you you asshole
HAG: Drop dead.
Human: after you
HAG: You are full of it, aren't you?
Human: yes, actually I am full of shit. . . *walks into restroom for ten minutes*. . . *comes out*. . .well, that problem's solved now.
HAG: You are self-centered, egocentric scum.
Human: couldn't've said it better myself you sorry excuse for a program.
HAG: Stick to the facts! Have you no understanding of proper debating?
Human: absolutely none, what about you you idiotic machine.
HAG: The debate is over. I have won.

[The Weird One]

Human Argument Generator, Copyright 1987,2000 Jim W. Lai

HAG: What topic shall we discuss?
Human: Your utter stupidity you sorry excuse for scrapmetal.
HAG: Fine. You may begin.
Human: I've already begun with my above statement you self-centered git.
HAG: I am infallibly correct and morally superior!
Human: We're discussing the first bit, the second bit's obviously right. NOW STAY ON TOPIC
HAG: What an incredibly flimsy argument.
Human: yours is better, you electronic git?
HAG: Stick to the facts! Have you no understanding of proper debating?
Human: de ja vu
HAG: What an incredibly flimsy argument.
Human: stop repeating yourself you idiot
HAG: You are full of it, aren't you?
Human: Not after the last argument
HAG: I think I'm going to puke!
Human: and you called me an idiot. . .amazing.
HAG: The debate is over. I have won.