Life a of peasent. A game of life.

DirtyDishSoap · Post by **DirtyDishSoap** » Fri Apr 27, 2007 5:46 pm

Guidocks wrote:
Dancing Mustard wrote:Listen up you little creep, I've seen your financial records and it's quite clear that you're laundering more money than Capone ever was. 'Taxes' are coming in to your pocket from businesses all over the city, but we got the fraud squad to check out their accounts; and guess what? They didn't pay you cent. It doesn't add up you see, you're taxing honest folks, but they ain't losing nothing; so where's the money coming from?
I'm holding you for as long as it takes you to squeal wiseguy, you're going in a cell with the biggest baddest hoodlum I can find, and you ain't coming out till you tell me exactly where that dirty money is coming from; unless you come out in a zipped up bag.
Now take him away boys, this little crook just got himself a whole lot to think about.

Ranck3 has been arrested on charges of money laundering. He is unable to participate further in the game until he is formally released. His bail is set at 30,000 gold pieces, which any other player may forefit in order to secure his early release.

all money will proceed to me cause i need the dough for more coffee and drugs...I mean....er...Weed

Iliad · Post by **Iliad** » Fri Apr 27, 2007 7:50 pm

I go to the prison and kill ranck3.
Then I attract teh attention of the policemen. I get on my dire wolf and say
"Catch me if you can!"
And start a fast chase.

Guidocks · Post by **Guidocks** » Fri Apr 27, 2007 10:22 pm

Iliad wrote:I go to the prison and kill ranck3.
Then I attract teh attention of the policemen. I get on my dire wolf and say
"Catch me if you can!"
And start a fast chase.

the cop car quickly closes in on you and throws you in jail with Ranck

Iliad · Post by **Iliad** » Fri Apr 27, 2007 10:40 pm

Guidocks wrote:
Iliad wrote:I go to the prison and kill ranck3.
Then I attract teh attention of the policemen. I get on my dire wolf and say
"Catch me if you can!"
And start a fast chase.

the cop car quickly closes in on you and throws you in jail with Ranck

Just before you get me I jump out of the car and run away. Come on! Make a cool chase, don't just say I caught you.

Guidocks · Post by **Guidocks** » Sat Apr 28, 2007 2:04 am

fine then . . . the cop car has an intense chase with your wolf thing that lasts 10 minutes and the one of the cops in the car says "wait a sec, couldn't we have used a RPG on that thing?" and then he pulls out a massive RPG and blows your wolf to pieces and somehow you survive, then the cop car drives up and handcuffs and take you to prison and they lock you up. somehow, you manage to bribe your way out of the prison and then you gain access to the police armoury and go on a killing spree of all the citizens in the city . . .

:lol:

Iliad · Post by **Iliad** » Sun Apr 29, 2007 8:28 pm

Guidocks wrote:fine then . . . the cop car has an intense chase with your wolf thing that lasts 10 minutes and the one of the cops in the car says "wait a sec, couldn't we have used a RPG on that thing?" and then he pulls out a massive RPG and blows your wolf to pieces and somehow you survive, then the cop car drives up and handcuffs and take you to prison and they lock you up. somehow, you manage to bribe your way out of the prison and then you gain access to the police armoury and go on a killing spree of all the citizens in the city . . .

Then I suddenly train all the wolves and they demolish the police house.

Dancing Mustard · Post by **Dancing Mustard** » Mon Apr 30, 2007 5:54 am

All units! All units this is Gigantic Gammon! We've got a code blue at HQ. All units respond! Out.

*I heave my overweight body from my desk, pausing only to grab my pistol from its resting place in my paper-draw*

DirtyDishSoap · Post by **DirtyDishSoap** » Mon Apr 30, 2007 9:57 am

The Code Blue Is....I RAN OUT OF DOUGHNUTS!

Iliad · Post by **Iliad** » Thu May 03, 2007 4:21 am

DirtyDishSoap wrote:The Code Blue Is....I RAN OUT OF DOUGHNUTS!

I throw a lot of donuts to all the cops. I bribe all the cops.I resurrect this dead thread.

Dancing Mustard · Post by **Dancing Mustard** » Thu May 03, 2007 6:41 am

Ressurect = Zombies, which means I can turn this into some wacky zombie infestation style story...

Inspector Guidocks! Get out of my office and arrest some of those goddam zombies running rampant all over my town! And no screw-ups this time or I'll have your badge!

....oh, and pick up a box of Krispy Kremes while you're at it

Iliad · Post by **Iliad** » Fri May 04, 2007 4:36 am

Can I join sir? Please? I sned my wolves I kill 30 zombies. I lose 10 wolves.
I have unlimited wolves.

ranck3 · Post by **ranck3** » Fri May 04, 2007 7:29 am

Itlad i think your all rdy playing... but dont be annoying like dancing musterd tho...

ranck3 · Post by **ranck3** » Fri May 04, 2007 7:29 am

Wait no your not ok then

Itlad has join the game!

Iliad · Post by **Iliad** » Fri May 04, 2007 7:31 am

ranck3 wrote:Itlad i think your all rdy playing... but dont be annoying like dancing musterd tho...

Did you just call me annoying? It's the spamming quotes for you:
A collection of all of the adapted quotes so far
Could you tell me why the last one got deleted? I can change this.
Also I don't mean offence with any of this I just wanted to create some funny quotes. So please don't delete this.
Hecter: Madness! This is Spamalot!

Hecter: Knights! Tonight we dine in Flame Wars!

Narrator: The flamers were weak and the banned flamers were unoriginal.

Cynthia: Spammer
Hecter: Yes, my Lady
Cynthia: Come back with your account, or on it

VincentM: Mods, they failed the Lack's test, and a turtle who fancies himself a god feels a very human chill crawl up his shell.

Mod: Choose your next posts carefully, Hecter. They may be your last, as King.
Hecter: You bring the names and post counts of banned accounts to my thread, you insult my queen and you threaten my spammers with banning and forum banning...Oh I’ve chosen my posts carefully mod. Perhaps you
should have done the same.

Guilty_Biscuit wrote:Hecter: You have many mods, lack. But few warriors. It won't be long before they fear my spammers more than your whips.
Lackattack: It's not the lash they fear. It is my divine power.

Hecter: This is where we spam! This is where they fail!
Captain: On these keyboards, boys!
[Spammers cheer]
Hecter: Remember this day, men, for it will be yours for all time.

AK Iceman: Our posters will block out the sun.
VincentM: Then we will spam in the shade.

Ak Iceman: My signature!
VincentM: It's not yours, anymore!!!

Hecter: My spammers, gather round! No retreat, no surrender; that is Spammalot's law and by Spammalot's law we will stand and spam... and be banned. A new age has begun. An age of freedom, and will know, that 300 Spammers gave their last posts to defend it!

Dirtydishsoap: For 500 days they've served the dark will of Turtle kings. Eyes as dark as night... teeth, filed to fangs... souless. The personal guard to king Lackattack himself, the Turtle poster elite. The deadliest posting force in all of conquer club. The Mods.

Hecter: Submission...that's a bit of a problem. See rumor has it, the Athenians have already turned you down. And if those philosophers and eh, boy lovers have that kind of nerve...!

Lack: Yours is a fascinating clan. Defiant even in the face of banning. There is much our cultures could share.
Hecter: Perhaps you haven't noticed, but we've been sharing our culture with you all morning.

Hecter: Moderators... we'll put their name to the test.

Captain: They look tired!
Hecter: Well let's give them something to see! To the spamming pictures!

[DilrtyDishSoap is putting a patch over his avatar]
Hecter: Dirtydishsoap, I trust that "scratch" hasn't made you useless.
Dirtydishsoap: Hardly, my lord, it's just an avatar. The gods saw fit to grace me with a spare.

Hecter: This is where we hold them. This is where we spam. This is where they fail.

Lackattack: Your ASA* rivals will stop posting... if you but you will stop posting.
Hecter: That is quite an offer. Only a mad man would refuse it. But this stop posting business... I'm afraid spamming all those threads of yours has left me with a nasty cramp in the hand I type surrender with.

hecter:Let me guess, you must be Lackattack

Hecter:What must a king do to save his kingdom:
cynthia:Instead ask yourself: what must a free spammer do?"

Hecter:Knights! What is your profession?"
"SPAM!"

Lackattack: I will erase Spamalot from the forum......The world will never even know you existed at all.
Hecter: The world will know that free spammers stood against a mod, that few stood against many"

Dancing Mustard · Post by **Dancing Mustard** » Fri May 04, 2007 7:37 am

Hello Ranck3,
I'm afraid I don't have time to type out my game actions right now. I have a particularly elaborate and disturbing sequence involving my Thai-Prostitute going into labour, and spawning a weird moffal-human hybrid child, planned.
But don't you fear, I'm not going to let this game die!
If you're lucky I might even reduce your bail fee...

jeffonfire · Post by **jeffonfire** » Fri May 04, 2007 7:52 pm

I hunt and save the meat i cook it and eat it.

Gp:56
Cave:small-with birdcage, stove, fireplace, and workbench!
House: small-with stove.
Stuff: 1 bear, 1 shirt, 1 pair of gloves, 6 rabbit meat, 5 rabbit skin, 1 horse-with horseshoes+sattle, 40 nails, 1 mith knife, 4 sheep meat, 1 Wolf, 1 Eagle, 38 mith bars, 1 bandage, unlimited hammers.
P point:11
jobs: miner/smith
Smith level=38
I am wearing: pants, shirt, gloves.

Iliad · Post by **Iliad** » Fri May 04, 2007 7:54 pm

I hunt. I eat a zombie. I wonder what's going to happen now.

ranck3 · Post by **ranck3** » Sat May 05, 2007 10:21 am

You can eat zombies lol i like your humor tho

jeffonfire · Post by **jeffonfire** » Sun May 06, 2007 5:17 pm

I yell "Please give me a worm for lunch!"

Gp:56
Cave:small-with birdcage, stove, fireplace, and workbench!
House: small-with stove.
Stuff: 1 bear, 1 shirt, 1 pair of gloves, 6 rabbit meat, 5 rabbit skin, 1 horse-with horseshoes+sattle, 40 nails, 1 mith knife, 4 sheep meat, 1 Wolf, 1 Eagle, 38 mith bars, 1 bandage, unlimited hammers.
P point:11
jobs: miner/smith
Smith level=38
I am wearing: pants, shirt, gloves.

Iliad · Post by **Iliad** » Mon May 07, 2007 2:39 am

I suddenly vomit poison and kill all of you. You are all dead.

jeffonfire · Post by **jeffonfire** » Wed May 09, 2007 5:35 pm

What do i do now!

will i never live. do i lose all stuff.

Dancing Mustard · Post by **Dancing Mustard** » Wed May 09, 2007 5:59 pm

My actions for the day:
My Thai-prostitute goes into labour, she spawns an ugly twitching newborn; half-human, half-moffal. It stinks of rotting spam and screams blue murder as it lays slick with blood on my cottage floor.
I feed 1 thai-prostitute's placenta to the moffal-human hybrid baby.
It devours 1 thai-prostitute's placenta.
I bathe 1 moffal-human hybrid baby in the half-beaker of thai-prostitute vomit I have left. I now have 1 half-clean moffal-human baby.
I drink 1 half-beaker of filthy thai-prostitute vomit
I lose 3 constitution points
My shrivelled foetus in a jar warns me of impending murder
At nightfall I sneak to Ranck3's cottage, I remove my clothing and smear my naked body with melted snickers bars.
I rub myself against Ranck3's windows becoming exited, knowing that he is inside and unaware of my actions. It's like I'm making love to the entire hovel. The forbidden nature of the act is exhileration itself. I mutter the names of renowned authors to a rhythmn only I can hear.
I'm spent.
My moffal monster hunts in the woods. It catches 3 infants.
I plant one of the infants in my garden.
My Thai-prostitute forages for truffles on the common. She finds 1 rusty nail.
I beat my Thai-prostitute for her failure. I gag her my torn stocking and lock her in the vomitorium. I consider urinating on her, but restrain myself at the last minute.

I have:
Gp: 69682997569.6
House: Triangular-with en-suite vomitorium
Stuff: 1 tin of baked beans, 1 torn stocking, 1 lump of rotting offal + 1 tin of mints, 6 werewolf meat, 5 human skin, 1 Thai-prostitute-with gag+saddle, 40 bees, 1 Swedish Penis Enlarger, 4 pairs of novelty specatcles, 1 foetus in a jar that occassionaly warns me of future catastrophies but refuses to speak in anything other than cryptic riddles, 35 snickers bars, 1 bondage encyclopedia, unlimited 40mm video cameras and adult daipers, one suit made from Ranck3's father's skin, a glass beaker containing dregs of Thai-Prostitute's vomit, 1 banana hammock, 2 infants, 1 planted infant, 1 half-moffal half-human baby, 1 rusty nail.
P point: 85.3 squared
jobs: Boning your mum, stealing children's toys, dribbling on passing strangers, licking windows, picking bars of condensed milk from particularly tall trees.
Irradiated Mutant level = 38.2 divided by the number you first thought of.
I am wearing: boxers, gimp mask, a suit made from your Grandmother's skin, bangles, a 10 gallon hat.

Guilty_Biscuit · Post by **Guilty_Biscuit** » Wed May 09, 2007 6:03 pm

Dancing Mustard wrote:My actions for the day:
My Thai-prostitute goes into labour, she spawns an ugly twitching newborn; half-human, half-moffal. It stinks of rotting spam and screams blue murder as it lays slick with blood on my cottage floor.
I feed 1 thai-prostitute's placenta to the moffal-human hybrid baby.
It devours 1 thai-prostitute's placenta.
I bathe 1 moffal-human hybrid baby in the half-beaker of thai-prostitute vomit I have left. I now have 1 half-clean moffal-human baby.
I drink 1 half-beaker of filthy thai-prostitute vomit
I lose 3 constitution points
My shrivelled foetus in a jar warns me of impending murder
At nightfall I sneak to Ranck3's cottage, I remove my clothing and smear my naked body with melted snickers bars.
I rub myself against Ranck3's windows becoming exited, knowing that he is inside and unaware of my actions. It's like I'm making love to the entire hovel. The forbidden nature of the act is exhileration itself. I mutter the names of renowned authors to a rhythmn only I can hear.
I'm spent.
My moffal monster hunts in the woods. It catches 3 infants.
I plant one of the infants in my garden.
My Thai-prostitute forages for truffles on the common. She finds 1 rusty nail.
I beat my Thai-prostitute for her failure. I gag her my torn stocking and lock her in the vomitorium. I consider urinating on her, but restrain myself at the last minute.

I have:
Gp: 69682997569.6
House: Triangular-with en-suite vomitorium
Stuff: 1 tin of baked beans, 1 torn stocking, 1 lump of rotting offal + 1 tin of mints, 6 werewolf meat, 5 human skin, 1 Thai-prostitute-with gag+saddle, 40 bees, 1 Swedish Penis Enlarger, 4 pairs of novelty specatcles, 1 foetus in a jar that occassionaly warns me of future catastrophies but refuses to speak in anything other than cryptic riddles, 35 snickers bars, 1 bondage encyclopedia, unlimited 40mm video cameras and adult daipers, one suit made from Ranck3's father's skin, a glass beaker containing dregs of Thai-Prostitute's vomit, 1 banana hammock, 2 infants, 1 planted infant, 1 half-moffal half-human baby, 1 rusty nail.
P point: 85.3 squared
jobs: Boning your mum, stealing children's toys, dribbling on passing strangers, licking windows, picking bars of condensed milk from particularly tall trees.
Irradiated Mutant level = 38.2 divided by the number you first thought of.
I am wearing: boxers, gimp mask, a suit made from your Grandmother's skin, bangles, a 10 gallon hat.

ROFL!

Guilty_Biscuit · Post by **Guilty_Biscuit** » Wed May 09, 2007 6:17 pm

I pasted that work of art into Microsoft Sam and wasn't disapointed with results.

Warrior987 · Post by **Warrior987** » Wed May 09, 2007 6:32 pm

mhm..mhm...mhm...mhm..mhm..mhm...mhm...mhm..mhm...mhm...mhm..mhm..mhm...mhm...mhm..mhm...mhm...mhm..mhm..mhm...mhm...mhm..mhm...mhm...mhm..mhm..mhm...mhm...mhm..mhm...mhm...mhm..mhm..mhm...mhm...mhm..mhm...mhm...mhm..mhm..mhm...mhm...mhm..mhm...mhm...mhm..mhm..mhm...mhm... IDK who.

Life a of peasent. A game of life.

Who will you elect for president?