Welcome Comrades to the 56th edition of the Dispatch
Hey, hey, hey! Sully here with another exciting edition of the CC Dispatch! With Dukasaur's taking over for jricart, the previous Tournament Executive, can you believe I'm now the veteran? Makes one think back on his experiences, where he started, etc. I remember when [player]natty_dread[/player] was flying the pink flag and "subliminally" recruited me onto his team of Foundry Reporters (and by "subliminally", I mean he made a callout in the Foundry Discussions forum that I never noticed, then a month later I read an issue of the Dispatch and thought it would be fun to write for the Foundry section). I remember [player]dolomite13[/player]'s short stint as the Foundry Executive, then when I took over around Issue 43. Can you believe I've been doing this for 14 issues? *Nostalgic sigh*
Anywho, what I mean to say is, writing for the Dispatch has been one of the greatest privileges I've had on ConquerClub, and I know there are some of you out there that would get just as much, if not, more enjoyment out of writing on our staff. We're always looking for writers and reporters, but we are particularly in need now! As you may have noticed, the Freestyle section has been bare for a time now, and [player]safariguy5[/player] needs your help! And if you're interested in another team, I bet [player]Dukasaur[/player] and [player]Leehar[/player] would love to have a couple new reporters, as would I.
Anywho, as we eagerly await what follows the Round Limits update, just sit back, sip a cup of tea, and enjoy the issue. We've got an interview with good ol' [player]The Bison King[/player] (responsible for such maps as Thyseneal, Celtic 7 Nations and California), the Tournament Team's [player]WorldCup4James[/player] has his first article for you all, the Foundry section is looking sexier than ever, and either horsemen are getting spanked by monkeys, or the monkeys are being trampled by Armageddon-esque equines. I hope you enjoy the issue just as much as we have putting it together!
Hello again lovers of the Freestyle Section. It is with a heavy heart that I announce that [player]nagerous[/player] is stepping away from the newsletter to focus on his other mod obligations. He was a model executive who's tireless pursuit of- oh screw it. He was a fun guy who made sure the section went out on time and kept the writers contributing.
In other news, a few of my writers have either disappeared (I have no idea why and am positive I'm not involved) or are experiencing technical difficulties. If you would like to write for the Freestyle Section or have an article idea you'd like me to write about, please shoot me a PM.
[spoiler=Interrogation of The Bison King]Q. Hi [player]The Bison King[/player]!
Q. Isn't Army of GOD the greatest person ever? Meh, he's ok.
Q. How has the Foundry process improved you as an artist? As an artist? I don't really think it has. Like I don't haven't learned any new skills or anything as a result of the foundry. I mean as an artist everything you work on makes you a little bit better in some way, but the foundry experience hasn't really changed the way I do anything or improved my ability in any particularly noticeable way. It has encouraged me to keep my files nice and organized though.
Q. What is/are your favorite thing(s) about Conquer Club? How many maps there are to choose from. That's what attracted me to the site in the first place. God I've got such a boner for 191 maps.
Q. What on Conquer Club could you not live without? World 2.1, Flat Rate, and Saxitoxin
Q. Are you the Sacred Czar of Thyseneal? No but I wish sometimes that I would find a magical wardrobe that would transport me to Thyseneal where I would be a warrior king. That's why I do a lot of drugs all the time!!!
Q. What is this magical land of Thyseneal like? Actually pretty shitty for the most part. Most of the lower continent is still in a bronze age type civilization save for the Tytherian empire. The rest of the lands are divided amongst small rivaling feudal lords. There is much war and famine. Small folk eek out meager livings while the high lords kings and emperors vie for power, and hunger for more lands. It's a brutal dark land where strength decides what is right and weakness is snuffed out by steal.
Q. Has saxitoxin been a better dad lately? He's been an absent dad lately... we don't talk. He doesn't care. He forgot my burfday.
Q. How have you enjoyed your Foundry Assisting? Yeah it's fun. I like stamping things, it feels good!
Q. What are your hobbies outside of CC? A make cartoons, and comics. I don't collect a lot of comics and when I do it's like super old Warner Brothers type stuff but I never really read them, and I'm not really into the whole super hero thing. I watch a lot of cartoons too. Right now I'm into Adventure Time and Regular Show. There was a great show called Robotomy but they canceled that, THE FOOLS! Apparently a lot of the staff came off of Super Jail WHICH WAS AN AMAZING SHOW if you haven't seen it. Like I said I also make my own Cartoons, though they take so damn long to make! That's why I started doing comics it was a lot easier to tell a joke. If you're curious about my work you can PM me.
Q. Which three maps-in-production are you most excited to play? Denmark- It's just a regular type normal map but I think it looks good. I won't play it all that much though probably but it's looking good.
Gondwanaland land- I'm really digging this one. The whole concept that is. I like the whole dinosaur theme and I've thought that Gondawanaland would make a great subject for a map for a long time. I think Declan, would benifit from a little more map making experience though. Some of his decisions... I think he's trying to cram a lot of things in there. We know there are Dinosaurs we don't need Raptors and eggs to be -1. The T-rex's are a nice touch but I think he want's to include every dinosaur he can think of when really they should just be more of a decorative element. So I've been posting and trying to give the best advice I can. BRING BACK THE TAR PITS!!!!!!!
But seriously Declan good work so far, keep it up! See this one through to the end!
Westeros- Yeah I'm shamelessly self promoting my own map but seriously this map will be flipping sweet when it's done!!!! I know it's sitting in the bin right now but I ASSURE YOU, I am in the process of securing the copyright! If I fail to get the copyright look forward to seeing another Midgard type copy cat map
Also a shout out to Fractured China, I can't say I'm looking forward to playing it because I have played it, but that is a seriously great map! I absolutely love it!!!
Q. Which three maps-in-production are the most pleasing to look at? Baltic Crusades! Three Kingdoms of Korea and Colonial Africa will be I SWEAR!!!!
Q. Is Team Ohio the shit, or is Team Ohio the shit? Uh... we're kind of... the shitty...
Q. If Army of GOD was your boo, where would you take him for an evening date? I think I would have to follow the example of my #1 hero Serge Gainsbourg and do what he did on his first date with Jane Birkin:
quoted from Wikipedia wrote:he first took her to a nightclub, then to a transvestite club and afterwards to the Hilton hotel, where he passed out in a drunken stupor.
Classic Serge! Failing that I dunno, a dog fight?
Q. Will you treasure the "Saxi's Friendship Challenge" coin forever and ever, or will you eventually sell it on eBay for a quick buck (let me know if/when you do, by the way)? GET YOUR GRUBBY LITTLE HANDS AWAY FROM MY PRIZED POSSESSION!!!
Q. Ranging from Saxi to Sexy, how sexy are you? But Saxi=Sexy so essentially your scale can only measure sexiness... that's fine cause I'm to saxi for my shirt.
Q. Which CC-er would you deem "most datable"? The Bison King
Q. What's your favorite band/genre of music? Clutch
Q. Have you ever considered getting into the Mafia scene? NO NO NO NO NO
Q. Have you ever considered organizing a tournament? Not really... too much work.
Q. Derive the quadratic formula. No.
Q. Who died and made you king of the bisons? and before him it was Tony Little
Q. What map, not created by you, is graphically one of your favorites? First Nations of the America, is hands down one of the most visually appealing maps on the site. I'm embarrassed to put my maps next to that one. Amazing work Tisha.
Q. Why doesn't CC interview #1_stunna? Because who the hell is that?
Q. Which McGill thread do you most wish you could share with the CC gen pop? You know very well that I can't answer this question, because if I answered it I would be sharing it with the CC gen pop.
Q. If you had to listen to one thing for the rest of your life but only had these two options:
phil collins at a pleasant volume
or
sting being played incredibly loud
Which would you choose? Definitely Sting I Abhor Phil Collins!
Q. Hodor? No Hodor, No.
Q. What do you find so appealing about rainbow dash? Well for starters she's the only pony who can perform the Sonic Rainboom! On top of that she's a hot lesbian.
Q. Does it behoove you not to be angered by this sentence? No... because I'm just so tickled that hooves are mentioned in the question preceding the pony question!
Q. Is there a Thundercats logo somewhere that I can use as a cc avatar without it being stealing by me doing so? Yup right here: and I uploaded it with ImageShack.
Q. You can put one member of The Club in each of the following positions. Which member would you choose for each position and why?
1. missionary 2. doggy 3. reverse cowgirl 4. your bodyguard 5. your style consultant/personal shopper 6. your housekeeper 7. your masseuse 8. your financial advisor 1-3 = Me through some sort of bizarre parallel universe technology.... is that weird? 4-Army of Nobunaga (that dude can f*ck shit up! I heard that one time he killed someone with nothing but pure unchecked aggression!) 5-Don't know don't care 6-Army of God 7-Saxitoxin 8-Fruitcakes (seriously, that guy knows what to do with money, for real)
Q. [player]Lionz[/player] or The Protomen? Protomen!!!! Is this question some kind of Joke?
Q. How many pencils can you get up your nose? I don't know, the normal amount? This is a stupid question and you should feel stupid.
Q. What was your favorite avatar to wear?
Q. What role did you play in the forming of the legendary Team Ohio? I don't really remember... Accounts management?
Q. Who is Conquer Club's #1 poster? #infinty poster? The Bison King
Q. How many bison do you rule over? ALL OF THEM!!!!!
Q. In a battle to the death between a bull bison and a bull moose, who would have the advantage? Please answer without bias, and please cite appropriate zoological papers to support your view. Well I can't cite any zoological papers but I can cite this youtube video. Obviously this is a battle between an elk an a bison, to which the bison is clearly the victor. However, we all know that a bull moos is much larger than an elk. It's hard to say. I think the Bison would still have it. Bison skulls are designed to take a much stronger impact than a moose. The moose antlers absorb most of the shock in moose on moose conflicts. The antlers are to wide to effect the bison who is designed for skull on skull contact. The Bison would totally KO the moose I think.
Q. Thanks for your time TBK. No problem, and to all you map makers out there I say "Keep your stick on the ice"[/spoiler]
Hello again my friends, and welcome to your favorite part of the Newsletter, "War Games", where you can find information about CC Tournaments. This issue we again have our three regular features, but with a twist. The TPA Update is presented by regular contributor [player]angola[/player] and Join This? Or Not! is presented by regular contributor [player]sonicsteve[/player]. Meet The Tournament Winners, however, is for the first time in seven months written by someone other than me!
Please join me in welcoming the newest Tournament section reporter, [player]WorldCup4James[/player]! James is no stranger to the world of Tournaments, having a Tournament Victory Cup and 6 Tournament Contribution Medals to his credit, with several others on the way. He jumped right in and produced an excellent interview with [player]deantursx[/player].
Starting soon, I intend to supplement our Meet the Tournament Winners feature with Meet the Tournament Organisers and Meet the Tournament Directors. This will require some help, I think. Adding James to the team has been a big step, but I think we could definitely use one or two more new reporters. If you write coherently and accurately, and if the world of CC tournaments fascinates you, then this might be the place for you. Please drop me a PM!
In the meantime, please enjoy this issue of War Games!
[player]Dukasaur[/player] Tournament Executive
Meet the Tournament Winners!by WorldCup4James [spoiler=deantursx interview]After only a year and a half at Conquer Club, [player]deantursx[/player] has strung together an impressive ten tournament victories and played over 4,000 games. His most recent triumph was in "Chap's Gambler", an ingenious competition arranged like a real-life high-stakes poker table, in which players bet money and play in an array of different game modes, including Standard, Teams, and Assassin, all the while striving to secure $1,000 "dollars" to claim victory.
So, to start, your 10th and most recent tournament victory was in "Chap's Gambler", hosted by fellow CCer [player]chapcrap[/player]. What appealed to you about the tournament?
Well, all of Chap's tourneys are awesome. He runs them all very smoothly. I actually jumped into this one mid-tourney on the play-now forum. This one appealed to me mostly because I'm a gambling addict
Ahh, I see...so your real-life poker skills directly carried over to CC. Tell me you have as much luck with the cards as you do with the Intensity Cubes? RIGHT? I would hope so...
Eh, I get pretty average luck in CC...but I have gotten some insane luck playing poker in the casino. I only play for small amounts though...nothing too crazy.
Ever managed to deliver the "occasional" royal flush? It's good that you keep the stakes low, just enough to pay for the annual CC premium of 25 bucks I notice that you have a very cool signature that states, "Its your Manifest Destiny." What exactly does this patriotic banner, which features a winking George Washington, represent?
Hah, nah I've never had a royal flush. Manifest Destiny is the name of my clan, which is slowly growing and becoming increasingly dominant. We're in our first war now against the Headless Horsemen, and it's looking pretty even so far...but I'm confident MD can come up with the win.
Any goals or milestones within sight that you wish to accomplish here on Conquer Club?
Well right now I think my main mission is to try to be a better clan player. There are so many maps like Waterloo, or Das Schloss, where I've dropped the ball for our team haha. As an individual, I guess the main accomplishments I'm going for are: To try to win premium and to get on the first page of the Tournament winner hall of fame.
19 is the magic number to make it to the first page at the moment! Conquer Club is undergoing a constant, burgeoning wave of "immigration" as more and more people across the globe wish to take their risk-taking to the next level. Just this past weekend, 287 people joined: 136 on Saturday (9/25) and 151 on Sunday (9/26), and 754 have joined throughout this entire past week (Monday to Friday). What tip do you wish to share with new members as they begin experiencing and enjoying this great pastime?
Well I'm practically a new member myself! I'm only in the beginning of my 2nd year or premium. I'd say my best tip would be to get involved in tournaments! Its a great way to get a lot of experience and to meet new players! Once that gets old, then it's time to find a clan! Also, don't do what I did and join like 40 tournaments at once lol...my game load is ridiculous.
I certainly agree with getting involved in tournaments! There is never a dull moment in the Tournaments world, as all sorts of CC players put their skills to the test in search of a tournament medal, or sometimes even free premium! And of course, there are many, many clans out there to join, each with a very unique theme or concept.
Well it's been nice to talking to you! I wish you stellar strategy and incredible intensity cubes as you continue your CC career! Thanks
Hello again! You've already read enough of me, I'm sure, so I'll keep it short and sweet. Map Spotlight is back with a look at [player]declan.west[/player]'s Gondwanaland, koontz is back with part 2 of "Sequels and Revamps", thehippo8 gives us the 411 on popular and not so popular maps, and Oliver tries something new! Enjoy!
This week we have relatively slim pickings after a bumper crop last week, where we have a short tale on Tofu's demise by [player]Chariot of Fire[/player] with interviewee [player]Ace Rimmer[/player]. Also included is a TSM-THOTA Conquer Cup 2 update by former Dispatch writer [player]Georgerx7di[/player], and a flashback to the past as we look at his Clan War update 18 months ago on the match between these two epic clans which resulted in a 1600 post, and 17000 views behemoth widely regarded as engendering the most electrifying clan war in the history of the game, with intense action as much on as off the board. It's also intriguing how much of a similar course the war has taken, with the current and likely scores almost identical to the dispatch article in Issue 23.
In other news competition continues to heat up the clan scene in the respective tournaments under way. PM me if you have your own clans tale of triumphs to share, and I give props to RA trips master [player]sekretar[/player], for being part of the privileged 150 to achieve a star
Stay Tuned for the next issue of the ConquerClub Dispatch for an interrogation of [player]Dako[/player]. Post any questions you may have for them here --> Interrogation with Dako
Submitting Your Own Articles
If you have a story you think the ConquerClub Community would find interesting, you can submit your articles to [player]safariguy5[/player] and you may just see your article published in the Newsletter!
Subscription
Did you enjoy this Issue? Have you subscribed to the Newsletter yet?
If you want each and every issue of the ConquerClub Dispatch delivered right into your Inbox, then Subscribe Here!
qwert wrote:Definitly Yugoslavia map. I present these project in Signatyre,naty notice,and in speed of light very fast create map,who are look gray,uncolory dead,and present in bad way country,who are need to be colourfull ,live map,with many pictures,and things.
Oh for fucks sake, like I have nothing better to do than stalk some guys signatures looking for map ideas...
You can feel how you want about my maps, I don't really care, but when you start claiming I only make a map because I'm copying your signature, that's just really fucking retarded.
--- on a lighter note, good issue, good work newsletter guys.
usa 120 aor 2 103 aor 1 70 doodle earth 177 luxembourge 142 arms 211 ----------------- well pelo have 290 and europe 1914 have 270 active games-strange how some maps in 25 september fail so down,or you dont check all 184 maps for active games.
qwert wrote:... or you dont check all 184 maps for active games.
Mortally wounded ... lol ... seriously it took hours to check it all ... I was surprised too ... but then it was only a snapshot in time ... it will be interesting to see comparisons over time.
Here is a little correction to the dispatch in regards to the revamps. This is teh exact answer I gave to the question about revamps in my interview.
Well these revamps really need to be divided into two groups: Competition Revamps and Non-competitive.
When there was a competition to revamp a map I entered most of them. Canada, Indochina, Centerscape and Germany were all the competitions that I “won”. I say “won” because I truly did not win Centerscape, Rj beat me by a mile and I just came in and cleaned up some GP, connections and other things for him after he got busy outside of CC. I really only did 15% (maybe) of that work. Midgard is Rj’s map. And if Rj had entered the Germany revamp, there is no way I would have come close to winning. I saw his entry but he never finished it.
But to get back to the question of why I revamped these, I like competition and I like making maps. As far as the non-competitive, these maps were in need of a revamp and the foundry was in a state where competitions were not really there yet. I contacted the original maker of Circvs Maximvs and Montreal to ask. Once he agreed we worked together to make sure the spirit was kept but the graphics cleaned up.
Also game play is not my strong point. I can do it ok and I have come up with a few other maps that play pretty good but I like the idea of taking a fixed set of rules (the old map) and just making it better looking.
“In the beginning God said, the four-dimensional divergence of an antisymmetric, second rank tensor equals zero, and there was light, and it was good. And on the seventh day he rested.”- Michio Kaku
It is hilarious how wrong your Russian translation is.
Actually it is hilarious how bad the online translators are. I will admit I do not know Russian at all (obviously) but I assumed the translators did. But several different ones give me different things.
What do these say specifically if you don't mind me asking and what should they look like?
Вниз == downsides (noun, direction) огонь == fire готовая боеголовка == ready warhead (ready as in ready state) готовый к запуску == ready to launch (the ending -ый means it is related to male gender while this should be either in female gender or as a verb) компьтерный == computer (adjective) ракетное топливо == rocket fuel (noun) готовые двигатели == ready engines
If you want correct translations you'd better send me English version so I can translate it. As I know most status reports in military end with verbs (ready, go, fueled, check). The same goes for Russian so I assume the translation will not be the direct translation. Well, if that is what you have intended.