The Dice Complainer

[natty dread]

They're like a different breed of CC players. They have always existed among us. Your best friend could be one of them... you never know.

I'm of course talking about dice complainers.

For as long as they have existed, science has strived to understand these people. Where do they come from? How does one become a dice complainer? What makes them different from us? Is it genetic, or is it something one chooses to become?

Should dice complainers have the same rights as the rest of us? Should they be allowed to marry non-complainers?

We don't have all the answers yet, but we have made progress. With scientific methods, we have now divided dice complainers to five subgroups:

• The Conspiracy Theorist: is convinced that his dice rolls are being "rigged" and "manipulated" by the site, because the site admin dislikes him personally or something. Usually wears a tin foil hat. Is easy to identify, because almost every post he makes in the forums advertises his bad dice luck in some way or other.
  
• The Equalizer: gets stuck up on the "fairness" of dice. Perceives that if he receives worse rolls than his opponent in any given game, then the game is not "fair". Often complains about "streaks". Does not care about the randomness of the dice, just wants dice to give Equal results to everyone.
  
• The Would-Be Conqueror: blames the dice for his own strategical mistakes. Whenever he loses a game, it's the dices fault. Whenever he wins, it's because his strategy was supreme despite the odds being stacked against him. Shares many traits with the Conspiracy Theorist. Tends to get very aggravated when someone suggests re-evaluating his game strategy.
  
• The Nutty Professor: spends obscene amounts of time obsessing about the dice, recording stats, posting long posts about how his own mathematical formulas and theories prove that the dice are "broken". Somehow, with all his supreme intelligence, still never manages to come up with a better formula/system for the dice.
  
• The Tempera-Mental: this guy is an on-off dice complainer. He only gets really mad at the dice when he loses an important game because of dice rolls (or perceives losing because of dice rolls) and vents his anger on the forums. Isn't really committed to the lifestyle of dice-complaining. However, if this type gets bored with his life and too obsessed with CC, he can sometimes (d)evolve into one of the other dice-complainer types.

[Joodoo]

I think segregation would be a good solution.

[nippersean]

Whoops - nearly replied there. But I'll keep my thoughts about Natty to myself.
On a separate issue, maybe I'll set up my own thread with a poll on biggest fools on CC.

[Fircoal]

How about the people that like to complain about the dice in chat but know they're fair? Does that make me a dice complainer or just a general complainer?

[Victor Sullivan]

• The "For Teh Lolz" Complainer: knows the dice are fair, but just like to complain "for teh lolz" a.k.a. for fun, or just to poke at others.
• The Rankist: thinks the dice are kinder to higher-ranked players.
• The Freemdom Fighter: thinks that the dice are worse for them because they don't pay for premium.

-Sully

[squishyg]

what's that? you want us to merge all the dice complaint threads into one big giant rubber band ball? yay!

[Victor Sullivan]

what's that? you want us to merge all the dice complaint threads into one big giant rubber band ball? yay!

Something smells like sarcasm...

Why can't we complain about dice complainers if dice complainers can complain about dice?

-Sully (really doesn't care, actually)

[nippersean]

Because it's Natty and he is the biggest **** on CC - look Mom no flames!

[natty dread]

Because it's Natty and he is the biggest **** on CC - look Mom no flames!

Wow... um... who are you again? Seriously, please refresh my memory, when did I ever piss in your breakfast cereal? I don't think I know you - actually, I don't think I've ever even spoken to you... so I hope you don't mind if I use a Lifeline to Ask the Audience.

Does anyone here know this Nippersean guy? Who is he/she and what kind of cruel verbal wedgie have I inadvertedly given him/her to make him/her so bitter towards me?

Thanks in advance,
- the biggest fluffy bunny on CC

[AndyDufresne]

The Tempera-Mental: this guy is an on-off dice complainer. He only gets really mad at the dice when he loses an important game because of dice rolls (or perceives losing because of dice rolls) and vents his anger on the forums. Isn't really committed to the lifestyle of dice-complaining. However, if this type gets bored with his life and too obsessed with CC, he can sometimes (d)evolve into one of the other dice-complainer types.

I'm this one sometimes. Ooops.


--Andy

[rdsrds2120]

I wonder if these are stages that every dice complainer goes through, or if some are, or if there are any, like evolution

-rd

[natty dread]

I wonder if these are stages that every dice complainer goes through, or if some are, or if there are any, like evolution

-rd

We here at the DCRC have found that these definitions are very flexible. Once someone is "tagged" as a dice-complainer, he can belong to one or more subgroups at once, and switch between subgroups. We have found no clear pattern for this behaviour. It appears, for the time being, completely random and unpredictable.

On a related note: A certain individual known as Dr. Sullivan recently claimed to have found additional subgroups. However, after extensive testing and research, we have discovered that his subgroups are actually just sub-subgroups of our first subgroup.

We have also studied the social aspects of the dice-complainers. They seem to exhibit some kind of pack mentality. They gather into small cliques or packs, and from each pack eventually emerges an "alpha-complainer". This "alpha-complainer", or AC for short, is usually the one who is the loudest complainer. Further study is still required for the exact mechanisms of this phenomenon.

[shieldgenerator7]

• The Conspiracy Theorist: is convinced that his dice rolls are being "rigged" and "manipulated" by the site, because the site admin dislikes him personally or something. Usually wears a tin foil hat. Is easy to identify, because almost every post he makes in the forums advertises his bad dice luck in some way or other.
• The Would-Be Conqueror: blames the dice for his own strategical mistakes. Whenever he loses a game, it's the dices fault. Whenever he wins, it's because his strategy was supreme despite the odds being stacked against him. Shares many traits with the Conspiracy Theorist. Tends to get very aggravated when someone suggests re-evaluating his game strategy.
  
• The Nutty Professor: spends obscene amounts of time obsessing about the dice, recording stats, posting long posts about how his own mathematical formulas and theories prove that the dice are "broken". Somehow, with all his supreme intelligence, still never manages to come up with a better formula/system for the dice.

um, how is the would-be conqueror any different than the conspiracy theorist?
And how do loldice complainerz fit into any of these five (4) categoires?

[AndyDufresne]

This sounds like it would be a kind of amusing piece for the Newsletter.


--Andy

[musicalmaven]

you know, you aren't any better.
while some complainers only complain about their lousy dice and forget, or accept the good dice, possibly as their due, others complain with good reason.
i have been complaining for a while now, in various threads, without much satisfaction.
in case some of you are unfamiliar with my complaint - i have kept records on my dice results for over 3 years (to which woodruff states - he admires my record keeping). in that time my total win - lose percentage, against both 2 defenders and 1 defender, has never been above average (to which woodruff replies - well, that's randomness. anything is possible - even never being above average).
i have gotten dice analyzer, about 9 months ago, and most of the time i was below average in 5 of the 6 categories it lists.
metsfanmax asked for the numbers. i posted them. his reply was that 4 of the 6 categories were too small to be statistically relevant.
due to a new security system my provider installed, i lost everything on the dice analyzer, and started anew, about a month ago. and again, 5 of the 6 categories are below average - of course, now all the numbers are too small to be a relevant sample.
but, as i pointed out, it isn't just that the numbers are below average, it is that they are almost always below average (the best i managed was to have 3 below and 3 above average.
i don't care where you think my complaint lies in your foolish chart, i only care that i can't catch a break, and after 3 + years, you'd think that i could get above average.
i do not know how many others out there are like me, but maybe you should stop poking fun at the complainers, and understand that a percentage of us are correct about something being wrong with the dice.

[shieldgenerator7]

sorry, musicalmaven, I have not heard that before. interesting stats tho. I'd be interested in seeing how you do in the long run. who knows? you maty end up with above average results even after all this time sitting below average.
typed with one hand

[natty dread]

i do not know how many others out there are like me, but maybe you should stop poking fun at the complainers, and understand that a percentage of us are correct about something being wrong with the dice.

Here, dear folks, we have a schoolbook example of a Nutty Professor -type Dice Complainer. Although this specimen seems to display some traits of the Conspiracy Theorist category, as well - he seems to be under some kind of illusion that the dice are not same for everybody, as shown by this odd commentary of how "a percentage" of Dice Complainers is correct.

As is usual, the Dice Complainer ferociously defends the legitimacy of his worldview. When confronted with opposing opinions, the Dice Complainer immediately assumes a defensive stance, which usually results in a deadlock. The Dice Complainer is very loyal to his pack.

There have been documented some rare cases where a Dice Complainer has been succesfully rehabilitated and reintroduced to society. However, relapses are common in these cases - a single perceived "streak" (DC lingo, in layman's terms: completely normal random event) is often enough to launch the Dice Complainer Behavioral Syndrome (DCBS) and send the Dice Complainer back to his old habits. Often in these cases, very angry threads are started. Our hypothesis is that it is caused by some kind of primal instinct. Further research is still needed to this mechanism.

[shieldgenerator7]

wow natty you should get with Spike Lee and make a documentary

[Funkyterrance]

Granted some players can be irrational when they roll perceived "impossible dice", how can we not, as well balanced human beings, at least have a little bit of sympathy?

[musicalmaven]

and here dear folks, is a wonderful example of "i have no facts to combat my opponents facts, so i will resort to ridicule".
natty, if you have nothing to say - say nothing.
shieldgenerator - what is 3 + years of below average results, if not a "long run"?

[natty dread]

Here, dear folks, we can see how territorial the Dice Complainer is. When his territory is threatened, he feels the need to defend it with everything he can muster. We can also observe how intolerant the Dice Complainer is to posts that contradict his own feelings about the "dice" - any post that doesn't validate his worldview is "forbidden" and the Dice Complainer seeks to prevent the posting of them by any means he can think of.

We have also observed a rare new breed that we like to call a "Pseudo-Complainer". This remarkably queer[1] specimen seems to follow around Dice Complainers and defend them from perceived assaults. We can only theorize that this strange species has developed some kind of emotional symbiosis with the Dice Complainer and is getting some kind of emotional payoff from making the Dice Complainer out to be a "victim" which the Pseudo-Complainer needs to "defend".

[1] meaning strange, not homosexual (as far as we know)

[Army of GOD]

[Seulessliathan]

great thread natty

[shieldgenerator7]

yeah, musicalmaven, I know it's a been long time with below average results. I'm just saying, even if it doesn't seem like it will ever happen, that one day you might just get paid back for all those lousy rolls and actually end up with above average results. or maybe neutral player just hates you and gives you rotten dice most of the time (see the dice conspiracy theories thread). Who knows? (well apparently you do because you've been keeping stats for 5 years)

[Funkyterrance]

Defending someone from a mean bastard does not equate to sharing the opinion with the person they are defending. Sadly, just hearing a word being used in context does not give you an actual understanding of its meaning.
I realize you think this thread is very clever but please, for the sake of your own dignity, make your posts a bit more well-formed.