I need advice for things in the bedroom <_<... *Offensive*

\\OFF-TOPIC// conversations about everything that has nothing to do with Conquer Club.

Moderator: Community Team

Forum rules
Please read the Community Guidelines before posting.
RustyMonkey
Posts: 15
Joined: Fri Jan 04, 2008 9:46 pm

I need advice for things in the bedroom <_<... *Offensive*

Post by RustyMonkey »

So my girlfriend and I have been dating for two years. We have awesome sex, everything is great. We love each other, we're very open with each other, share everything. We both regularly get off, etc...

The question is that we have been talking more and more about fantasies and experimenting more, and she has been asking me what fantasies I have and... I don't really have many. I have shared with her most of what I have, but it's nothing really interesting. The things I do have I have shared some (dominance, hand-tying, that kind of thing) and we have done, but not much past that. She told me to think about what I would like to explore in bed and I honestly can't think of anything... Whether it's I'm repressing myself or if it's just I am kind of boring in that department, I don't know, but I'm not sure what I should say or how I should explore things. I don't even know what I should or could be into beyond what we do, except that many of the common fetishes I find kind of gross or odd.

Any advice welcome.
Army of GOD
Posts: 7192
Joined: Tue Feb 24, 2009 4:30 pm
Gender: Male

Re: I need advice for things in the bedroom <_<... *Offensiv

Post by Army of GOD »

Have you tried MMORPGing?
mrswdk is a ho
User avatar
jefjef
Posts: 6026
Joined: Mon Feb 23, 2009 8:41 pm
Location: on my ass

Re: I need advice for things in the bedroom <_<... *Offensiv

Post by jefjef »

Well she is obviously wanting to have a threesome. Be sure that you suggest a really hot gal that she is good friends with.
This post was made by jefjef who should be on your ignore list.
Image
drunkmonkey wrote:I'm filing a C&A report right now. Its nice because they have a drop-down for "jefjef".
User avatar
muy_thaiguy
Posts: 12746
Joined: Fri May 18, 2007 11:20 am
Gender: Male
Location: Back in Black
Contact:

Re: I need advice for things in the bedroom <_<... *Offensiv

Post by muy_thaiguy »

Or, let her be the dominate one and let her do whatever she wants.
"Eh, whatever."
-Anonymous


What, you expected something deep or flashy?
User avatar
InkL0sed
Posts: 2370
Joined: Sat Jun 23, 2007 4:06 pm
Gender: Male
Location: underwater
Contact:

Re: I need advice for things in the bedroom <_<... *Offensiv

Post by InkL0sed »

Lurk 4chan for ideas.
User avatar
john9blue
Posts: 1268
Joined: Mon Aug 20, 2007 6:18 pm
Gender: Male
Location: FlutterChi-town

Re: I need advice for things in the bedroom <_<... *Offensiv

Post by john9blue »

^ i was going to say that

for a more streamlined experience you could try googling weird fetishes and see what turns you on

i'd post pics but you know
natty_dread wrote:Do ponies have sex?
Army of GOD wrote:the term heterosexual is offensive. I prefer to be called "normal"
(proud member of the Occasionally Wrongly Banned)
RustyMonkey
Posts: 15
Joined: Fri Jan 04, 2008 9:46 pm

Re: I need advice for things in the bedroom <_<... *Offensiv

Post by RustyMonkey »

Neither of us want a threesome, and she is the dominant one sometimes. She prefers me being the more dominant one herself, although we do change it up sometimes.
User avatar
Haggis_McMutton
Posts: 403
Joined: Sun Mar 26, 2006 11:32 am
Gender: Male

Re: I need advice for things in the bedroom <_<... *Offensiv

Post by Haggis_McMutton »

May i suggest: omorashi, it should prove to be a nice entry level fetish.

Enjoy!
Highest score: 3063; Highest position: 67;
Winner of {World War II tournament, -team 2010 Skilled Diversity, [FuN||Chewy]-[XII] USA};
8-3-7
Pedronicus
Posts: 2080
Joined: Tue Jan 24, 2006 2:42 pm
Gender: Male
Location: Busy not shitting you....

Re: I need advice for things in the bedroom <_<... *Offensiv

Post by Pedronicus »

The last time I played tie me up, I tied my girlfriend to the bed, went and got all my paint and fucked off for 8 hours to paint a wall.
Image
Highest position 7th. Highest points 3311 All of my graffiti can be found here
User avatar
oVo
Posts: 3864
Joined: Fri Jan 26, 2007 1:41 pm
Location: Antarctica

Re: I need advice for things in the bedroom <_<... *Offensiv

Post by oVo »

RustyMonkey wrote:We have awesome sex, everything is great.

As long as those feelings are mutual there's no problem,
and if it ain't broke, don't try to fix it.

Stick with what feels natural for the both of you and when things come
to mind, talk about it.
User avatar
daddy1gringo
Posts: 532
Joined: Wed Jan 03, 2007 7:47 am
Location: Connecticut yankee expatriated in Houston, Texas area, by way of Isabela, NW PR

Re: I need advice for things in the bedroom <_<... *Offensiv

Post by daddy1gringo »

1. Tell her, "You're my ultimate fantasy. Nothing excites me more than the thought of you."

First of all, according to what you have said, it is the truth. Second of all it is extremely likely to melt her into a little puddle on the floor.


2. Want to be really daring and try something that, though extremely risky, if done right, multiplies the pleasure of sex?
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
Commit yourself fully to her and get married. My wife and I, besides having awesome sex on the merely physical level, enjoy a whole 'nother dimension in our sexual relationship as it is part of a whole package of sharing our deepest selves with each other and becoming one in every sense possible. Those for whom sex is just something fun to do for this evening's entertainment can't have any clue.
The right answer to the wrong question is still the wrong answer to the real question.
User avatar
Trephining
Posts: 54
Joined: Mon Oct 19, 2009 7:04 pm

Re: I need advice for things in the bedroom <_<... *Offensiv

Post by Trephining »

RustyMonkey...sounds like a Rusty Trombone is in order.
User avatar
jimboston
Posts: 5379
Joined: Tue Sep 11, 2007 2:45 pm
Gender: Male
Location: Boston (Area), Massachusetts; U.S.A.

Re: I need advice for things in the bedroom <_<... *Offensiv

Post by jimboston »

jefjef wrote:Well she is obviously wanting to have a threesome. Be sure that you suggest a really hot gal that she is good friends with.


Bad advice.... sure to get you in trouble.

Do you really think you are going to get good advice on CC Bumpages???
User avatar
daddy1gringo
Posts: 532
Joined: Wed Jan 03, 2007 7:47 am
Location: Connecticut yankee expatriated in Houston, Texas area, by way of Isabela, NW PR

Re: I need advice for things in the bedroom <_<... *Offensiv

Post by daddy1gringo »

jimboston wrote:Do you really think you are going to get good advice on CC Bumpages???

Maybe not often, but I stand by mine. Something I know from experience.
The right answer to the wrong question is still the wrong answer to the real question.
User avatar
Haggis_McMutton
Posts: 403
Joined: Sun Mar 26, 2006 11:32 am
Gender: Male

Re: I need advice for things in the bedroom <_<... *Offensiv

Post by Haggis_McMutton »

I too stand by mine.

Besides omorashi is quite a bit cheaper than marriage. Just some extra panties, maybe some detergent (try not to do it over a carpet though).
Highest score: 3063; Highest position: 67;
Winner of {World War II tournament, -team 2010 Skilled Diversity, [FuN||Chewy]-[XII] USA};
8-3-7
User avatar
jimboston
Posts: 5379
Joined: Tue Sep 11, 2007 2:45 pm
Gender: Male
Location: Boston (Area), Massachusetts; U.S.A.

Re: I need advice for things in the bedroom <_<... *Offensiv

Post by jimboston »

daddy1gringo wrote:
jimboston wrote:Do you really think you are going to get good advice on CC Bumpages???

Maybe not often, but I stand by mine. Something I know from experience.


I know we will have some real responses.

Some obvious jokes.

... and them some Trolls and Ninja Trolls trying to play bad ideas as real advice, thereby potentialy harming this kid. If the original poster is serious, hopefully he can spot this bad advice and trolling.
User avatar
jonesthecurl
Posts: 4617
Joined: Sun Mar 16, 2008 9:42 am
Gender: Male
Location: disused action figure warehouse
Contact:

Re: I need advice for things in the bedroom <_<... *Offensiv

Post by jonesthecurl »

I think he should pretend his girlfirend is realy the cleaner...and maybe something about a tornado.
instagram.com/garethjohnjoneswrites
RustyMonkey
Posts: 15
Joined: Fri Jan 04, 2008 9:46 pm

Re: I need advice for things in the bedroom <_<... *Offensiv

Post by RustyMonkey »

See, I find omorashi to just be really weird.

The feelings about the sex are mutual, but it's still just really fun to experiment and explore, honestly.

I know Bumpage may not be the best place to look for advice, but for me at least, it's definitely the most anonymous, and I can throw away any bad advice I get.

Also, to the person saying "commit yourself...," I already am. I just purchased the ring last Saturday, and on August 3rd I am asking her.
User avatar
Baron Von PWN
Posts: 203
Joined: Thu Oct 01, 2009 10:05 pm
Gender: Male
Location: Capital region ,Canada

Re: I need advice for things in the bedroom <_<... *Offensiv

Post by Baron Von PWN »

Serious advice: Check out the website "Reddit.com" create an account its really easy on this site you don't even need an email to activate it. There is a section of the site on sex, not porn just people talking/asking questions about sex. Search under subreddits. here's a link http://www.reddit.com/r/sex/.

experiment with various toys, If you don't already anal, pick up a book on the karma sutra might be fun, role playing, costumes

Semi serious advice: Get her a strap on suggest "role reversal" ,

I'm just fucking with you advice: get into scat/ goldenshowers
User avatar
saxitoxin
Posts: 13415
Joined: Fri Jun 05, 2009 1:01 am
Gender: Male
Contact:

Re: I need advice for things in the bedroom <_<... *Offensiv

Post by saxitoxin »

I have already provided guidance and offers of guidance, please ref:

viewtopic.php?f=8&t=118471&p=2615483&hilit=+watch+love+saxitoxin#p2614810
Pack Rat wrote:if it quacks like a duck and walk like a duck, it's still fascism

viewtopic.php?f=8&t=241668&start=200#p5349880
User avatar
The Bison King
Posts: 1957
Joined: Thu Aug 27, 2009 5:06 pm
Location: the Mid-Westeros

Re: I need advice for things in the bedroom <_<... *Offensiv

Post by The Bison King »

Have you tried...

viewtopic.php?f=8&t=84923&p=1978804&hilit=+pokemon+porn+nsfw#p1978804 ??

If that's too weird just man up and stick it in her butt-hole already.
Image

Hi, my name is the Bison King, and I am COMPLETELY aware of DaFont!
khazalid
Posts: 3413
Joined: Thu Oct 26, 2006 5:39 am
Location: scotland

Re: I need advice for things in the bedroom <_<... *Offensiv

Post by khazalid »

junky in next bed, recently admitted to ward: 'fit the f*ck yi laughing't min?' gold stars for all
had i been wise, i would have seen that her simplicity cost her a fortune
angola
Posts: 2076
Joined: Tue May 27, 2008 12:56 pm
Location: Washington state

Re: I need advice for things in the bedroom <_<... *Offensiv

Post by angola »

Maybe she wants to be bukkaked?
Highest rank: 48th. Highest score: 3,384. Feb. 9, 2014.
User avatar
Phatscotty
Posts: 3714
Joined: Mon Dec 10, 2007 5:50 pm
Gender: Male

Re: I need advice for things in the bedroom <_<... *Offensiv

Post by Phatscotty »

RustyMonkey wrote:So my girlfriend and I have been dating for two years. We have awesome sex, everything is great. We love each other, we're very open with each other, share everything. We both regularly get off, etc...

The question is that we have been talking more and more about fantasies and experimenting more, and she has been asking me what fantasies I have and... I don't really have many. I have shared with her most of what I have, but it's nothing really interesting. The things I do have I have shared some (dominance, hand-tying, that kind of thing) and we have done, but not much past that. She told me to think about what I would like to explore in bed and I honestly can't think of anything... Whether it's I'm repressing myself or if it's just I am kind of boring in that department, I don't know, but I'm not sure what I should say or how I should explore things. I don't even know what I should or could be into beyond what we do, except that many of the common fetishes I find kind of gross or odd.

Any advice welcome.


Tell her what kind of carrot you like, she will dangle one in front of you. You need to find her carrot first, and make sure you can handle it. In all honesty, I would not involve anyone else....especially if it is possible that she could be "the one".

Image
User avatar
Snorri1234
Posts: 3438
Joined: Wed Sep 12, 2007 11:52 am
Location: Right in the middle of a fucking reptile zoo.
Contact:

Re: I need advice for things in the bedroom <_<... *Offensiv

Post by Snorri1234 »

Ask her if she wants to see my penis.
"Some motherfuckers are always trying to ice skate uphill."

Duane: You know what they say about love and war.
Tim: Yes, one involves a lot of physical and psychological pain, and the other one's war.
Post Reply

Return to “Acceptable Content”