Cheese Shop

neanderpaul14 · Post by **neanderpaul14** » Fri May 22, 2009 5:25 pm

oVo wrote:
shopkeeper wrote:Well I think it would be more accurate to say we have Swiss Holes.

Customer: How can you distinguish for certain that these holes are actually Swiss?

Shopkeeper: Wouldn't you like to know??

oVo · Post by **oVo** » Fri May 22, 2009 7:57 pm

Customer: By any chance do you keep these Swiss holes with your sales receipts?

jonesthecurl · Post by **jonesthecurl** » Fri May 22, 2009 11:20 pm

No, no sir, even the enormous cheese-swallowing Swiss holes could not contain the enormous quantity of sales receipts which Arthur Wensleydale, Cheesemongers, generate. Daily.
And that's us, in case you were wondering.

StiffMittens · Post by **StiffMittens** » Sat May 23, 2009 9:16 am

Customer: Could we plug the Swiss holes with variously sized wheels of Gouda?

neanderpaul14 · Post by **neanderpaul14** » Sun May 24, 2009 10:25 pm

StiffMittens wrote:Customer: Could we plug the Swiss holes with variously sized wheels of Gouda?

Shopkeeper: Sorry we have no Gouda to plug Swiss holes with.

viking97 · Post by **viking97** » Mon May 25, 2009 4:54 pm

Do you have cheese cake?

jonesthecurl · Post by **jonesthecurl** » Mon May 25, 2009 5:04 pm

European style cheesecake, or New York style cheesecake?

Post by **trinicardinal** » Fri May 29, 2009 8:51 am

New York Style

jonesthecurl · Post by **jonesthecurl** » Fri May 29, 2009 9:05 am

A shame, sir, a shame. That style has been extremely popular of late and i'm afraid we have sold out.

neanderpaul14 · Post by **neanderpaul14** » Fri May 29, 2009 2:50 pm

European then?

jonesthecurl · Post by **jonesthecurl** » Fri May 29, 2009 4:01 pm

That, sir, is also off - demand for the European style has fallen off since the value of the pound sterling fell so far. We did have some, but it's "sell by" date was yesterday, and I'm afraid it's landfill now.

I suppose I could have saved us both some time really when you said "have you got any cheesecake", said "no", and not gone down that conversational sidetrack at all!

StiffMittens · Post by **StiffMittens** » Fri May 29, 2009 9:08 pm

Nevermind. How about 6 ounces of Moo Town Snackers string cheese?

neanderpaul14 · Post by **neanderpaul14** » Fri May 29, 2009 9:11 pm

StiffMittens wrote:Nevermind. How about 6 ounces of Moo Town Snackers string cheese?

Shopkeeper: Moo Town Snackers string cheese? For the love of god man this is a respectable cheese shop not a convenience store. Why I've a good mind to beat you over the head with stale bread.

oVo · Post by **oVo** » Sat May 30, 2009 2:00 am

Customer: I'm starting to doubt you have any cheese inventory at all and yet you claim to have stale bread in your possession? I suspect this shop is unfortunately mislabelled and worry you are simply too lazy to correct the signage?

Can you satisfy my curiosity with a two pound wedge of Jarlzberg?

Post by **trinicardinal** » Mon Jun 01, 2009 10:16 am

Well I can show you a wedge but all our stock in Jarlzberg was ordered by a regular customer not five minutes before you came in Sir. I am simply awaiting my delivery boy to return so i can send it to the customer. I understand he has a Wine & Cheese party tonight and has placed a substantial order as a result.

Minister Masket · Post by **Minister Masket** » Mon Jun 01, 2009 12:21 pm

It's not really much of a cheese shop is it?

Post by **trinicardinal** » Mon Jun 01, 2009 12:31 pm

On the contrary sir, Arthur Wensleydale, Cheesemongers are an extremely popular cheese shop. In fact it is extremely hard to keep up with the demand from our notable clientele, hence your difficulty at this present time.

oVo · Post by **oVo** » Mon Jun 01, 2009 1:57 pm

Customer: Sooooo... if this is indeed the extremely popular cheese shop you claim it to be
what sort of culinary dairy delight might I aquire here?

neanderpaul14 · Post by **neanderpaul14** » Mon Jun 01, 2009 1:58 pm

oVo wrote:Customer: Sooooo... if this is indeed the extremely popular cheese shop you claim it to be
what sort of culinary dairy delight might I aquire here?

Shopkeeper: Cheese

oVo · Post by **oVo** » Mon Jun 01, 2009 2:09 pm

Customer: Can you recommend your most popular cheese?

neanderpaul14 · Post by **neanderpaul14** » Mon Jun 01, 2009 2:12 pm

oVo wrote:Customer: Can you recommend your most popular cheese?

Shopkeeper: Are you asking my favorite kind of cheese?

jonesthecurl · Post by **jonesthecurl** » Mon Jun 01, 2009 2:21 pm

let me put it this way, shopkeeper:
Of the huge variety of cheeses which you doubtless have available, which would you buy at this precise moment?

neanderpaul14 · Post by **neanderpaul14** » Mon Jun 01, 2009 2:42 pm

jonesthecurl wrote:let me put it this way, shopkeeper:
Of the huge variety of cheeses which you doubtless have available, which would you buy at this precise moment?

Shopkeeper: I really don't have any extra money at the moment.

jonesthecurl · Post by **jonesthecurl** » Mon Jun 01, 2009 4:31 pm

Very well, my good man - here is a banknote of medium denomination - now, if you were holding it in your own hot and sweaty, pray do tell - which curd-based delight would you be moved to purchase?

neanderpaul14 · Post by **neanderpaul14** » Mon Jun 01, 2009 4:44 pm

jonesthecurl wrote:Very well, my good man - here is a banknote of medium denomination - now, if you were holding it in your own hot and sweaty, pray do tell - which curd-based delight would you be moved to purchase?

Shopkeeper: I'm particularly fond of fruit curd, thank you for asking.

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