Reform Conquer Club now!

[laughingcavalier]

Starting today I am launching a massively multiplayer online petition for the reform of Conquer Club.

Doesn’t apply to you, you think? Then ask yourself this. Have you ever attacked 4 vrs 1 and lost? You have? Well that is against the odds. BUT YOU DON’T SURPRISE ME. The amazing thing is, I guarantee, every player reading this will have been in the SAME SITUATION. How could that “chance” happen unless it was not actually coincidence, not “chance” at all? How could this possibly happen unless the supposed randomness of CC covers up a massive secret conspiracy?
I have made a careful, detailed statistical study of the odds in Conquer Club and the bizarre luck-defying outcomes that result. I have found solid statistical proof that the so-called randomness of Conquer Club covers up a massive conspiracy to discriminate against the more highly skilled players (such as myself – and probably you too if you are reading this):

1. The drop. In more games than I can count I or an opponent have got a bonus to start. BUT in all the games I have played, and I have played a lot, I have NEVER ONCE got Asia to start. I have never got more than a measly 2 or 3 bonus on the drop. Altogether there are 6 bonuses on the board so I should get Asia exactly one time in every six that I start with a bonus. But I don’t! The result is that I have to take turns and turns trying to take Asia – and in the meantime my opponents sneak attack their way into smaller bonuses and steal the game.
2. Cards. I am the victim of another “odd” anomaly here. In a way I am lucky – I get fantastic luck with my first two cards. Every game I can remember after I have pulled just two cards I am 2/3 of the way to a set. I am already planning the run I will make next turn and how I will sweep the board and I deploy accordingly. But then… when I have turned over the third card, exactly two out of three times I have not got a set! How can I so consistently go from being 100% of the way to getting a set to 33% of having one??? Coincidence?! I think not.
3. Lower ranked players. I have often been beaten by worse players than myself. How do I know they are worse than me? They are lower-ranked, so they cannot be as good as me. So the only way they can beat me is by chance. Which would be OK if it happened once or twice. But it doesn’t. It happens a lot. So it cannot be “chance” – what CC pretends are the random elements of the drop or the dice or blah blah MUST be a part of a conspiracy against stronger players (such as myself).
4. Higher ranked players. Sometimes I am beaten by players ranked higher than myself. Fair enough, you might say. They are higher ranked than you so they are better players. But wait. I have analysed these games carefully. And what I found is that IN EVERY SINGLE ONE MY STRATEGY WAS THE BEST ON THE BOARD! So once again, only “luck” beat me and we already know that “luck” on this scale is not “luck” at all. It is a conspiracy.
5. Losing streak. Sometimes I lose game after game on the trot. Unlikely you think? Well it happens! And more than that. When I hit a streak like this I don’t wimp out I face it straight on. I set up 6 or 7 speed games at once and play them all. And I keep on playing. I give up screen breaks, I get in the zone, I focus. If I have to I will stay at the comp all night. I know what you are thinking but it is OK – I drink and smoke A LOT to stay alert. This is a 100% foolproof strategy to break a losing streak. But here is the rub: every time I do this my losing streak just gets worse. I lose more and more! Astonishing but true. The “luck” turns more and more against me. I could not figure out how this happened at first. But then I realised, if I give up on CC and come back later, my losing streak is ended. Amazing eh? There is only one way to explain it. My losing streak of course had been fixed by whichever one of lackattack’s cronies was on duty fixing the dice at CC Towers. My losing streak was only broken when a new crony came on shift, and they forgot to tell him (or her, ladies, I am not prejudiced) that they were fixing my odds!

But it is OK, lackattack, you don’t have to worry. All that is needed are a few simple rule changes, to make CC fairer:

1. Supplementary dice. Sometimes the game-winning move depends on winning a critical throw. Clearly if you are attacking 2-4 you only get 1 dice against 3, which actually prejudices the result against the better player, who has got themselves into a good strategic position, and is going to be “beaten” by the foolish letter of the rule which limits their attack. So let the attacker roll some extra dice. 6 or 7 on any throw should be enough.
2. Cross-map reinforcement. Consider my no spoils game - I am in a tight corner and I just need a couple more to hold a bonus. While over on the escalating I am pulling 65 armies which are way more than I need. Simple. Let players shift armies from the escalating game to the no spoils.
3. Supplementary cards. So I’ve made a brilliant run, taken out 20 territories and another player. I get his (or her – ladies I am still not prejudiced!) cards – but find I’ve only got 4 cards altogether. I can’t cash till next go – and the weasly player who was too feeble-minded to attack before simply comes up behind and takes me out before I get to play again! Once again the better player (me) is beaten unfairly. SO simple to fix this: if you do a good run you get the option (you don’t have to take it!) of pulling extra cards. Not to be greedy about it. One extra card for each 10 territories would be enough. So I get 6 cards, cash one set, maybe two and win the game. Astonishing that lackattack has not thought of this one already.
4. Fair drops. How many times have you begun a game and not had a chance even before you played? Just because the crony on fixing-duty at CC Towers has stacked the board against you. Solution: Introduce a pre-play turn where the better player gets to inspect the board, and take out any unfairness’s in the drop by shifting the other players’ armies from the “lucky” territories to fairer ones.
5. Ratings. It is very community-minded of CC to have a system like this, but clearly they have made a mistake in allowing weak-minded mistaken opinionated (and less skilful!) players to stop me getting a 100% popularity rating. All lack needs to do is change the response button. If someone gives me a negative, then I hit the response button. Ping - the mistaken negative changes instantly into a double positive for me and a double negative for the sadly deluded player who was not intuitive enough to appreciate my brilliant wit, charm and skill.
6. Abuse. The only trouble I see with these rule improvements is that they might be abused by unfortunate individuals who don’t want to play fairly. So we can only give these options to the elite group of players selected by myself who I know will always use their powers wisely for the benefit of all.
7. Exception. We can’t give the Conqueror any of these powers. I think you will agree I have proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that CC has been statistically rigged against the best players (ie me). Therefore, it is only by “luck” that another player has got to be Conqueror instead of me. And we already know that “luck” like that is not “luck” at all! So it would be unfair on the Conqueror to give him (or her – remember, ladies? ) any privileges until all the unfairness’s have been wrinkled out of the system and I have been established at the top of the scoreboard.

Like I say, this is not just a personal rant. This is a petition! Your support is welcomed, along with any more STATISTICALLY PROVEN examples of Conquer Club unfairness, or SENSIBLE modest rule improvements like mine.

[PLAYER57832]

A. what is this "cards" thing to which you refer?

B. didn't you see.. CC has completely changed, its all "hugs and kisses" now.

[#1Buckeye]

I am an agreeance that it cannot be "random"..I too have NEVER got a bonus on the drop. And 4 vs 1...that's nothing ..I sweat on 7 vs 1. Also I ALWAYS get the red cards in flat rate games. I have lost 15 in a row before...I have never won more than 6 in a row. I am not lying or exaggerating...this is how it is for me. I lose 1st 4 almost every turn and almost hardly ever get a card on my 1st turn. AND to top it off, it seems my luck got worse when I reached Lieutenant. CC said THOU SHALL NOT PASS lieutenant. I have lost the last who knows how many in a row. At the moment I have no job which enables me to an advantage in freestyle games (always being there 1st for my turn), but there is no advantage because the dice cancel me out. Good...where is this petetion??? Because I'm tired of being screwed.

[saaimen]

A. what is this "cards" thing to which you refer?

Dude... No sense of humour.

[jaseleo]

Wow everything you have said is what i think every time i log onto conquer club, you my friend are a mind reader and a genius .

You need to add :

If I have been a member of the site longer than my opponent/s I should have the option of a drop down button to spin my dice to a gold colour and entitle me to 6's for 6 turns to award me for loyalty to the site.

Map links - A higher ranked player should have a tunnel on 1 selected map (ie classic o2). This is to transfer from the same territory in another game (classic o2)to the map in play when "luck" is letting the opponent sweep the board.

[murphy16]

LOD is behind you mate, I know i think the same way when playing higher ranks than me.

[Fruitcake]

Starting today I am launching a massively multiplayer online petition for the reform of Conquer Club.

stuff.....

Like I say, this is not just a personal rant. This is a petition! Your support is welcomed, along with any more STATISTICALLY PROVEN examples of Conquer Club unfairness, or SENSIBLE modest rule improvements like mine.

great April fool, well done. 10/10 for effort.

[Timminz]

Excellent thread. Bravo!

I especially liked the response that seems to lack in humour detection abilities.

[kaiser0427]

i too have seen the losing streak anomaly. However, I just wait a day or two and all of a sudden i can't lose no matter how bad a drop, lack of dice or crap for cards i get.

[Hotdoggie]

Genius!

[flexmaster33]

well stated, sir

[oVo]

I have been stockpiling armies for over a year while waiting patiently
for the cross-map fortifications improvement to take effect.

[ben79]

indeed

[Nate the Great]

I'm with you Cavalier! I also think armies should be taken away from players who do not wish me luck. How do I know the game isn't helping them just because I wished them luck and they didn't do the same?!

[#1Buckeye]

Excellent thread. Bravo!

I especially liked the response that seems to lack in humour detection abilities.

Right on. I was completely bamboozled. Now my dice will get even worse.

[luapie]

I totaly agree!!

[owenshooter]

as soon as i read this thread, i started losing every roll!!! sign me up now, before this gets out of control!!!-0

[mancunia]

I couldn't agree more.In fact it would be better if there where no dice at all.

[the.killing.44]

Altogether there are 6 bonuses on the board so I should get Asia exactly one time in every six that I start with a bonus.

Hurry for math skills!
Nice thread

.44

[murphy16]

for example, im in a tourney playing high ranks, they win 6v6 or even 6v8 but when i try the same thing, their defensive dice are nothing but 6's absolutely horrible, just makes you suspicious some times.

[kaiser0427]

I'm with you Cavalier! I also think armies should be taken away from players who do not wish me luck. How do I know the game isn't helping them just because I wished them luck and they didn't do the same?!

i never wish any of my opponents luck, basically because if I did.... I wouldn't mean it. So why bother

[Timminz]

i never wish any of my opponents luck, basically because if I did.... I wouldn't mean it. So why bother

I find "Have fun" is much closer to what I actually wish upon opponents.

[JCKing]

Just tossing in my opinion here. But to me it seems like the dice are legit. Yes seems pathetic that you lost 4v1, or worse. Simply losing a couple on a 1 can seem bad, it ticks me off yes. But do I see it as non random, not really. The reason why is b/c I am the most pathetic dice roller in real life risk, I rarely get 6's, lol even if I try rolling them. But to concur the losing men to a 1, how often does someone manage to go in and win an attack they shouldn't, I've won plenty, recently I heard one where in a feudal the guy went 49v76 and ended up finishing 1v1, and another feudal some one won a 14v50. So from what I see sometimes dice can hurt you, others they'll help you, meaning they're random b/c no one knows when it will happen.

[murphy16]

Just tossing in my opinion here. But to me it seems like the dice are legit. Yes seems pathetic that you lost 4v1, or worse. Simply losing a couple on a 1 can seem bad, it ticks me off yes. But do I see it as non random, not really. The reason why is b/c I am the most pathetic dice roller in real life risk, I rarely get 6's, lol even if I try rolling them. But to concur the losing men to a 1, how often does someone manage to go in and win an attack they shouldn't, I've won plenty, recently I heard one where in a feudal the guy went 49v76 and ended up finishing 1v1, and another feudal some one won a 14v50. So from what I see sometimes dice can hurt you, others they'll help you, meaning they're random b/c no one knows when it will happen.

But have you lost 56v13 to come out with 6 left and lost the game because of it, when you should have won?

[sam02]

I'm with you mate.