General Congratulations

[RashidJelzin]

Congrats to wicked, drawing all the sheep over to her side.

[jbrettlip]

Congrats to Twill on finally seeing the light on Wicked.

Congrats to Wicked by showing that it wasn't medication or disease, but she is really an immature troller of the forum. Now that she isn't a mod, her temper tantrums and attempts at logic seem even more ridiculous.

Congrats to everyone that is threatening to quit this website over a staffing issue.As though the forum was the reason we all started on CC.

And congrats to everyone who is posing as a lawyer, cutting and pasting stuff off of websites, claiming that it applies to the removal of Wicked. Finally congrats to all the self important people out here, that think their $25 a year allows them approval of staffing decisions.

[Curmudgeonx]

Congrats to Twill on finally seeing the light on Wicked.

Congrats to Wicked by showing that it wasn't medication or disease, but she is really an immature troller of the forum. Now that she isn't a mod, her temper tantrums and attempts at logic seem even more ridiculous.

Congrats to everyone that is threatening to quit this website over a staffing issue.As though the forum was the reason we all started on CC.

And congrats to everyone who is posing as a lawyer, cutting and pasting stuff off of websites, claiming that it applies to the removal of Wicked. Finally congrats to all the self important people out here, that think their $25 a year allows them approval of staffing decisions.

[Fruitcake]

Well well, what a week this has been!!!

There can only be one topic really.

In honour of this, and in my usual style, I am writing a play for you dear reader.

So, with respect to CC Productions and for your delectation here is the first act, scene 1 of:

A funny thing happened to me on the way to the Forum

I walked into the Forum, having been away looking after my Estates to the north, all seemed as usual, the slaves ran hither and thither doing errands for their Masters, Soldiers stood, slightly, to attention at the four corners, Philosophers and others plied their trade….

For days the Forum had been full of talk of foes. Foes this and foes that, it seemed everyone wanted to talk about foes and little else. Were there foes within the Empire or without? Who was a foe to whom?

Then, in the bright summer sun, Wicked walked to the steps of the Forum. Mutterings, like a low rumbling thunder ran thru the throng waiting to hear her words. Somehow she looked different today.

Placing some fingertips to her temples, Wicked looked around her….

“Friends, Conkies, Players! I have been a bad girl!” She shouted to everyone.

“So what’s news” said a voice from the back of the fast assembling crowd.

“Please Friends, hear me out” She continued….

“I have been ill”

“So what’s news” said a voice from the back, once more.

“No, really, I have been ill” She continued loudly.

“For some time now, I have been suffering from a disease of the brain”

“So what’s news for crying out loud!” shouted the voice from the back

Ignoring the heckler, Wicked continued. “I know at times, I have been bad.” And before any more heckling could take place she went on…” My dear Community, I recently told the Senate of my illness. Now I must tell you, my friends…My physician has been using the latest leech treatment to help me as my condition was most serious, this condition caused me to look upon you in an unfavourable light at times, when I shouldn’t have”

“Oh God,” someone groaned….”This is news????”

Others hushed the interloper, then there was silence in the crowd as the mutterings stopped briefly. People looked at each other…this was something they had never seen or heard before.

“I know, I hurt some of you, I know I have caused some of you pain and suffering, and I humbly stand here before you, with my overdosing of limejuice firmly under control.”

A whisper ran round the crowd like a fast moving sirocco, the words Lime, Orange and Lemon were heard.

Heads nodded sagely…overdosing on limes was indeed a serious thing indeed in Rome these days. People wondered how this had happened, until a Major from the 15th Centurion Guard stepped forward, turning to the mighty and growing throng he shouted “Well at least you’re ok fair Wick”

Suddenly all talk of foes stopped. People started shouting their support. Wicked stood there, her cheeks glistening in the bright summer Sun. She could not believe it, so many…so much lurve.

Officers, NCOs, even proletariats from the cooking division all stepped up, forming a circle of lurve round Wicked. Among them, surreptitious unfurling of the banners “Free the Norseman” took place….

Hovering outside the circle, some asked questions, “how was she able to stand in the midday Sun with an overdose of Limes?” they enquired…but they were ignored by the throng.

Some of the proles who wanted to kiss Wicked's glistening cheeks asked if they could, Wicked demurred.

Physicians from all parts of Rome offered advice, all the time more added to the throng and circle around her. Some asked if other parts of the Empire suffered with too large a lime harvest, would others suffer the same terrible symptoms…it was almost too much to bear.

With an ironic juxtaposition the final well wishers were a General and a poor lowly Private, standing side by side (although it has to be said the General did inch himself away, wrinkling his nose a little) both seeing this outpouring of lurve and wanting to feel it, be it, live it.

With a smile that melted the hearts of even the most ardent doubters within the throng, wicked twirled round and with a complete lack of haughtiness walked slowly back into the Senate House surrounded by Officers of the Forum….some more unforgiving muttered still, but nothing was going to stop the true lurve affecting all.

The throng mooched about, picnics were brought by women as Soldiers sat playing dice on the ground. All seemed well with the world…..

….With a mighty scream, Wicked came stumbling out of the Senate house. Small gentle rivers of bright red blood ran from her pierced side and slowly sank into the dust.

“I am done for” She whimpered, “I am mortally wounded”

The assembled mob looked on aghast…they could not believe it. Those cheeks, glistening in the sun only minutes before now looked ashen and sunken as the Pretorian Guard ushered her further from the door to the Senate.

Someone in the crowd roared.”Why?!!!”

….to be continued

[RashidJelzin]

Well well, what a week this has been!!!

There can only be one topic really.

In honour of this, and in my usual style, I am writing a play for you dear reader.

So, with respect to CC Productions and for your delectation here is the first act, scene 1 of:

A funny thing happened to me on the way to the Forum

I walked into the Forum, having been away looking after my Estates to the north, all seemed as usual, the slaves ran hither and thither doing errands for their Masters, Soldiers stood, slightly, to attention at the for corners, Philosophers and others plied their trade….

For days the Forum had been full of talk of foes. Foes this and foes that, it seemed everyone wanted to talk about foes and little else. Were there foes within the Empire or without? Who was a foe to whom?

Then, in the bright summer sun, Wicked walked to the steps of the Forum. Mutterings, like a low rumbling thunder ran thru the throng waiting to hear her words. Somehow she looked different today.

Placing some fingertips to her temples, Wicked looked around her….

“Friends, Conkies, Players! I have been a bad girl!” She shouted to everyone.

“So what’s news” said a voice from the back of the fast assembling crowd.

“Please Friends, hear me out” She continued….

“I have been ill”

“So what’s news” said a voice from the back, once more.

“No, really, I have been ill” She continued loudly.

“For some time now, I have been suffering from a disease of the brain”

“So what’s news for crying out loud!” shouted the voice from the back

Ignoring the heckler, Wicked continued. “I know at times, I have been bad.” And before any more heckling could take place she went on…” My dear Community, I recently told the Senate of my illness. Now I must tell you, my friends…My physician has been using the latest leech treatment to help me as my condition was most serious, this condition caused me to look upon you in an unfavourable light at times, when I shouldn’t have”

“Oh God,” someone groaned….”This is news????”

Others hushed the interloper, then there was silence in the crowd as the mutterings stopped briefly. People looked at each other…this was something they had never seen or heard before.

“I know, I hurt some of you, I know I have caused some of you pain and suffering, and I humbly stand here before you, with my overdosing of limejuice firmly under control.”

A whisper ran round the crowd like a fast moving sirocco, the words Lime, Orange and Lemon were heard.

Heads nodded sagely…overdosing on limes was indeed a serious thing indeed in Rome these days. People wondered how this had happened, until a Major from the 15th Centurion Guard stepped forward, turning to the mighty and growing throng he shouted “Well at least you’re ok fair Wick”

Suddenly all talk of foes stopped. People started shouting their support. Wicked stood there, her cheeks glistening in the bright summer Sun. She could not believe it, so many…so much lurve.

Officers, NCOs, even proletariats from the cooking division all stepped up, forming a circle of lurve round Wicked. Among them, surreptitious unfurling of the banners “Free the Norseman” took place….

Hovering outside the circle, some asked questions, “how was she able to stand in the midday Sun with an overdose of Limes?” they enquired…but they were ignored by the throng.

Some of the proles who wanted to kiss Wicked's glistening cheeks asked if they could, Wicked demurred.

Physicians from all parts of Rome offered advice, all the time more added to the throng and circle around her. Some asked if other parts of the Empire suffered with too large a lime harvest, would others suffer the same terrible symptoms…it was almost too much to bear.

With an ironic juxtaposition the final well wishers were a General and a poor lowly Private, standing side by side (although it has to be said the General did inch himself away, wrinkling his nose a little) both seeing this outpouring of lurve and wanting to feel it, be it, live it.

With a smile that melted the hearts of even the most ardent doubters within the throng, wicked twirled round and with a complete lack of haughtiness walked slowly back into the Senate House surrounded by Officers of the Forum….some more unforgiving muttered still, but nothing was going to stop the true lurve affecting all.

The throng mooched about, picnics were brought by women as Soldiers sat playing dice on the ground. All seemed well with the world…..

….With a mighty scream, Wicked came stumbling out of the Senate house. Small gentle rivers of bright red blood ran from her pierced side and slowly sank into the dust.

“I am done for” She whimpered, “I am mortally wounded”

The assembled mob looked on aghast…they could not believe it. Those cheeks, glistening in the sun only minutes before now looked ashen and sunken as the Pretorian Guard ushered her further from the door to the Senate.

Someone in the crowd roared.”Why?!!!”

….to be continued

Laudatio, mate... you gave me teh lulz!!1!

[Fruitcake]

A funny thing happened to me on the way to the Forum
Act 1 scene 2

The mob took up the cry.

“Why, why, why”

Physicians ran to Wicked's side, and staunched the flow of blood. Slaves ran with creamy white cotton sheets and an area around her was cleared as she rested back on them.

“How did this happen Dear Wicked” someone asked.

“It was the Tribune Twilldo who was at the centre of it” she spat out with venom (which reminded a few of previous times).

“I tried to help, tried to show them where we could streamline the gathering of taxes” (at which point eyebrows were arched)

“The Emperor is no good. All he does is sit in his frog’s outfit all day long scribing new codes to the Gods of Dice and Cards. It is not the Emperor who wields the true power…it is Twilldo himself. The Emperor leaves it all to him. I told them that Rome was being overrun by the Trolls from the North and East, but they ignored me, Yes, you could all say I was bad to you, but it was the Limes, they got to me” With this, a single crystal clear tear ran down her face, causing many to feel her pain, oh yes indeed.

She rallied….”It is that Janus I tell you” she cried

“Janus? Janus who?” Asked an idiot in the crowd bearing down on her circle.

“The Janus you know as Twilldo!”

“Oh…that one” responded another.

“You should all march on the Emperors Palace, make him listen to you.”

“Well maybe” I thought to myself as I took up position at a table nearby and ordered a particularly nice Red wine from the servant.

More sympathy poured in…except for some. John Rocketus Pulblius stepped forward…”So why is your cloak still that of a Senator?” He asked not unreasonably. I nodded into my wine. However, others never heard of in the Forum before stepped forward. Young Calvinus Plebius shouted “Let’s have a riot…YEAH” …

“Let’s not” I said quietly.

Sugsus Awfulus stepped forward…”When will we hear from the Tribune Twilldo?”

There was little response…the mutterings continued, some wishing well, some asking when Twilldo would appear.

Wicked lay there, the flow of blood staunched now, and feeling more normal, accepted the proffered good wishes with grace. Clans started heading for their houses dotted around the Forum to hold private discussions on the whole sorry tale.

A map maker whispered to Wicked…”Even the Elders are not happy, you are correct”…Wicked smiled wanly at him. One by one people stepped forward offering their words….then with a mighty fanfare of trumpets the Forum was hushed. Stepping down steps of the Senate came the Tribune himself…Twilldo had come.

Cat whistles and cat calls abounded as he stood there, arms outstretched like a messiah among the ants…..until finally…there was silence.

“Country folk

I come here not here to justify, nor come here to denigrate. I come before you as a simple Tribune. I lurved Wicked, but there were problems we cannot discuss with you proles. We did not want to carry out this deed, but it had to be done, yes people it did!”

He continued to a hushed crowd “You are Rome! But Rome is under attack! Attack from all sides, oh yes indeedy it is. There are poisonous ones who live amongst you; they make our immigrants feel unwelcome! We have to find them, and weed them out. Rome is growing fast, we need the revenues to help it grow and prosper.”

“This Rome, this wonderful, beautiful Rome is yours dear people rise up and make it your own! Weed out those who would make it difficult for others, and help us make this a greater better community!”

With a Flourish, Twilldo wrapped his purple Tribunes cloak around him, and surrounded by the Praetorian Guard strode purposefully back to the Senate house.

“What the f*ck was that all about?” Asked someone on the next table to me.

“F*cked if I know” I responded…the wine was starting to take effect.

The cry started outside the Forum…”Revolt!” before long the thronged masses within the forum were taking up the cry “Revolt, revolt, revolt!”

“Oh God” I thought to myself “Nothing worse than a bunch of bloody revolting peasants…always take ages to clean up the mess they leave behind”…quickly working out a figure, I summoned a scribe slave and issued a cleaning up quote to pass to the Senate when this was all over.


To be continued…..

[Sentinel XIV]

Congrats to all for making such a fine mess of a place where I actually have fun.

[Frop]

Congrats to jbrettlip for not beating around the bush and the hypocrite wicked witch of the East for continuing her vengeful crusade even in her profile signature. Happy fobbing & peetering (sic).

[Scott-Land]

Congrats to Wicked for getting a perma-ban in the forums if she did indeed post Lack's personal information. I'd also like to congratulate Lack and Twill for sitting back and watching her dig her own grave- plan worked like a charm.

[Fruitcake]

A funny thing happened to me on the way to the Forum
Act 2 scene 1

Like a tsunami rolling at high speed the people of Rome poured into the Forum. The Praetorian Guard Captain called up for reserves. The numbers swelled until it was stifling. I looked at the guy next to me and said “This is like Gaul when the summer comes, they all down tools and go on strike just for the weather”…he was from the New world and didn’t know where Gaul was so I just poured him another mug of wine.

In the middle of the throng, Wicked, seemingly recovered from her mortal wounds was whipping up frenzy.

Major Tom, recently thrown back in time from floating around in his rocket asked who the f*cker was…many put their hands up before they realised what he meant. Then he made comments about the Tribune and the Emperor, and then asked who would want to upset someone whose mind was already upset due to the overdose of limejuice. I started to wonder what was going on when messages started getting passed to me asking for my opinion; I answered them all the same. With the word “Yes”

More people still poured into the Forum square and the shout for the Emperor went out. “We want the froglet to answer for this!” They cried. A mysterious woman who never existed wandered through the heaving mass, mimicking the Tribune and making people laugh, others poked fun at her, others poked…(edited).

Music started and people started dancing wildly, still shouting for the Emperor himself to appear before them.

Finally, and with an even mightier trumpeting that the great Twilldo’s, the Emperor himself appeared. The Praetorian Guard Captain leant towards him and whispered in his ear, at which point he hurriedly undid the blue silk wrapped around his head with the eyes cut out and pushed it in his robes.

“Friends!” He roared.

The people were silent.

“You may already may already know, wicked is no longer part of the Senate”

“This is news???” said a voice rhetorically from the back.

“Please listen my people” he continued….”You are upset, I can see, but we had to do this. I do not feel it right to discuss this with you proles, but just accept it, we are correct! I never asked her to step down because she ate all the limes, or because she was an argumentative cow who didn’t get on with people….ooops….there were many things and nothing. There were many issues and none. There were absolutes and non absolutes. She was a key member of my Senate, and many a time we shared a laugh at you proles…oops….”

Twilldo, appearing behind him, placed a steadying hand on his shoulder….he continued “I never wanted her stabbed like this, I am just a normal Emperor, like all of you, I just want it all to be fun fun fun all the way.”

People started shifting uneasily, wondering what this was actually all about.

“I have always dreamt of Rome being a utopia!”

“Wots a ustopria?” shouted a cook from the back.

The Emperor looked around, saw the questioner and responded…”A nice place”

“OH, OK” and mollified the cook sat back down on the dusty earth.

“My people, listen to me!, I will continue to work hard at making Rome a wonderful place, where we can all live in peace and harmony, including my dear dear friend Wicked”

With this the carriers arrived and the Emperor was born aloft back to the Palace.

Wicked spat on the ground, a strange and unnerving hissing came from the impact point and an acrid smoke rose.

The heaving throng broke up into many parts, Wicked, now, oddly for a mortally wounded ex-senator, back to full strength, went from group to group spreading sedition, giving out information. Messengers hurriedly went back and forth between rival clan houses.

A Sergeant, recently back from the front tried vainly to quote the rules of senate employment, only for a General to pull rank and stop him continuing. Others asked for the Emperors personal messenger address, the Praetorian Guards were desperately trying to keep control. The evening was approaching and the lamps were lit…and still the throng discussed the momentous events. Some tried talking about other issues only to see their words ignored.

Then suddenly…a phalanx of Guards marched in, grabbed Wicked and disappeared.

I ordered another jug of wine, this was going to be a long night…..

[Robinette]

Congratulations to Fruitcake for summarizing this weeks chaos...

You have saved many from hours upon hours of going through the forums to try to understand what all has happened this week...

[owenshooter]

Congratulations to Fruitcake for summarizing this weeks chaos...

You have saved many from hours upon hours of going through the forums to try to understand what all has happened this week...

congrats to robinette for letting out her more "boyish" side in a thread tonight...-0

[InsomniaRed]

Congratulations to Fruitcake for summarizing this weeks chaos...

You have saved many from hours upon hours of going through the forums to try to understand what all has happened this week...

congrats to robinette for letting out her more "boyish" side in a thread tonight...-0

congrats to owenshooter for keep GD moving in a different direction

[Robinette]

Congratulations to Fruitcake for summarizing this weeks chaos...

You have saved many from hours upon hours of going through the forums to try to understand what all has happened this week...

congrats to robinette for letting out her more "boyish" side in a thread tonight...-0

Congrats to Owenshooter for thinking only boys go through puberty...

[jiminski]

Congratulations to Fruitcake for summarizing this weeks chaos...

You have saved many from hours upon hours of going through the forums to try to understand what all has happened this week...

congrats to robinette for letting out her more "boyish" side in a thread tonight...-0

Congrats to Owenshooter for thinking only boys go through puberty...

congratulations on the fishing-Nette

[Robinette]

Congratulations to Fruitcake for summarizing this weeks chaos...

You have saved many from hours upon hours of going through the forums to try to understand what all has happened this week...

congrats to robinette for letting out her more "boyish" side in a thread tonight...-0

Congrats to Owenshooter for thinking only boys go through puberty...

congratulations on the fishing-Nette

haven't caught any thing yet...

but congrats on recognizing the bait...

[Phantom7]

Congrats cake, on a great piece. As usual your talent for satirical mockery is one of the best reads on the forum.

[HapSmo19]

Congratulations Fruitcake. You've got talent.


<edited to comply>

[edsdad]

Congrats Fruitcake for making sense out of this non-sense.Keep up the good work.

[owenshooter]

congrats to Klobber for becoming a former mod's first target, on the dawn of a new life in the forums for said mod:

100% immune eh? Is that why you go whining behind the scenes about every post that says something bad (and true) about you? And when mods try to get you to stop, or talk any reason to you, you throw a temper tantrum?

[Timminz]

congrats to Klobber for becoming a former mod's first target, on the dawn of a new life in the forums for said mod:

100% immune eh? Is that why you go whining behind the scenes about every post that says something bad (and true) about you? And when mods try to get you to stop, or talk any reason to you, you throw a temper tantrum?

Would that be considered "personal information"?

[yeti_c]

Congratulations to Fruitcake for summarizing this weeks chaos...

You have saved many from hours upon hours of going through the forums to try to understand what all has happened this week...

congrats to robinette for letting out her more "boyish" side in a thread tonight...-0

Congrats to Owenshooter for thinking only boys go through puberty...

Congrats to Robinette on a great Rack...

C.

[MOBAJOBG]

Congratulations to Fruitcake for summarizing this weeks chaos...

You have saved many from hours upon hours of going through the forums to try to understand what all has happened this week...

congrats to robinette for letting out her more "boyish" side in a thread tonight...-0

Congrats to Owenshooter for thinking only boys go through puberty...

congratulations on the fishing-Nette

haven't caught any thing yet...

but congrats on recognizing the bait...

Is she The Mermaid?

Congratz to this General congratulations thread.

[owenshooter]

congrats to Klobber for becoming a former mod's first target, on the dawn of a new life in the forums for said mod:

100% immune eh? Is that why you go whining behind the scenes about every post that says something bad (and true) about you? And when mods try to get you to stop, or talk any reason to you, you throw a temper tantrum?

Would that be considered "personal information"?

not sure, but i do know your statement would not be considered congratulatory and against the "spirit" of this thread... congrats to timminz for spamming up the unspammable!!-0

[Sentinel XIV]

Congrats to xeno.

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