Smith, ever since I saw your saturday night thread I've really been worried about you, (well, not really....lol). Do you need a hug? Or just a girlfriend?.....lol
I've been in an air conditioned office most of the day but it was very warm yesterday and is probably in the high 70's today.
the longest thread, thread - Occasionally NSFW
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KoolBak
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Thank you scarus for the joke...very good....I personally have kept a handful of attorneys employed re: a legal battle I have been in for 4+ years with an ex neighbor whose name is Antichrist.....I finally won after spending more money than I care to admit...In my previous life as a commercial lender, I specialized in Attorney Firms and enjoyed 20 of the top 25 copmpanies in the Pac Northwest as my clients....
I know the oh-so-neccessary role of the profession and they have saved my ass on several occasions..I would be without a home and a business because of a frivilous lawsuit without them....this having been said, I know enough lawyer jokes to fill a small book!
Along your theme scarus my friend.....
An attorney dies and is approaching the gates of Heaven,,,St Peter looks at his book, does a double take and exclaims, "My gosh! Congratulations! You were far and away the oldest living person to have ever existed! 150 years old..that is an accomplisment!"
Attorney replies, "Sorry, those are my billable hours....".
I know the oh-so-neccessary role of the profession and they have saved my ass on several occasions..I would be without a home and a business because of a frivilous lawsuit without them....this having been said, I know enough lawyer jokes to fill a small book!
Along your theme scarus my friend.....
An attorney dies and is approaching the gates of Heaven,,,St Peter looks at his book, does a double take and exclaims, "My gosh! Congratulations! You were far and away the oldest living person to have ever existed! 150 years old..that is an accomplisment!"
Attorney replies, "Sorry, those are my billable hours....".
"Gypsy told my fortune...she said that nothin showed...."
Neil Young....Like An Inca
AND:
Neil Young....Like An Inca
AND:
riskllama wrote:Koolbak wins this thread.
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AndyDufresne
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Hm...jokes...lets see. I'll use my favorite...and also one I recently heard at work. (I work at a nursing home, and an elderly man told me this one.)
He told it in a little story. The man came over to me and another worker while we were clearing plates in the dining room, and asked us if we knew the history of Pop-eye. We both said no. He asked if we knew that he had a girlfriend named Olive Oil. We said yes. He then asked:
"Do you know what Pop-eye did when he had an erection? He stuck in it Olive Oil." We laughed hysterically as the man rolled off into the distance to the puzzle area.
~~~~~
And one of my favorite jokes:
A man goes to see a psychiatrist to help him with his problems. The psychiatrist spoke with the man for a while and then administered the standard Ink Blot test. "What do you see?" asked the psychiatrist. The man looked closely, adjusting his glasses and responded "Sex." "And now?" "Sex." "And...now?" "Sex." ... "Sex." ... "Sex." ... "Sex." The psychiatrist put down the final card and said to the man "Well, it seems that you are obsessed with sex." The man looked at him horrifically and said "You're the one drawing all the dirty pictures!"
hehe....
--Andy
He told it in a little story. The man came over to me and another worker while we were clearing plates in the dining room, and asked us if we knew the history of Pop-eye. We both said no. He asked if we knew that he had a girlfriend named Olive Oil. We said yes. He then asked:
"Do you know what Pop-eye did when he had an erection? He stuck in it Olive Oil." We laughed hysterically as the man rolled off into the distance to the puzzle area.
~~~~~
And one of my favorite jokes:
A man goes to see a psychiatrist to help him with his problems. The psychiatrist spoke with the man for a while and then administered the standard Ink Blot test. "What do you see?" asked the psychiatrist. The man looked closely, adjusting his glasses and responded "Sex." "And now?" "Sex." "And...now?" "Sex." ... "Sex." ... "Sex." ... "Sex." The psychiatrist put down the final card and said to the man "Well, it seems that you are obsessed with sex." The man looked at him horrifically and said "You're the one drawing all the dirty pictures!"
hehe....
--Andy
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AndyDufresne
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areyouincahoots
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- Location: Arkansas
Zepy needs comforting... 
I'm in a middle of a horrible losing streak! I've lost over 250 points in the last few days...I can't seem to do anything right! (It all started, btw, when cahoots kill me to earn her full xi membership!)
Anyone else have really bad (or good) streaks? When I win, I'll win four or five games in a row...now, I can't even catch a cold!
Now I'm about to lose my Captain bar.... 
sad sad day for the zep.
I'm in a middle of a horrible losing streak! I've lost over 250 points in the last few days...I can't seem to do anything right! (It all started, btw, when cahoots kill me to earn her full xi membership!)
Anyone else have really bad (or good) streaks? When I win, I'll win four or five games in a row...now, I can't even catch a cold!
Now I'm about to lose my Captain bar....
sad sad day for the zep.
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areyouincahoots
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Zepy12 wrote:Zepy needs comforting...
I'm in a middle of a horrible losing streak! I've lost over 250 points in the last few days...I can't seem to do anything right! (It all started, btw, when cahoots kill me to earn her full xi membership!)
Anyone else have really bad (or good) streaks? When I win, I'll win four or five games in a row...now, I can't even catch a cold!
sad sad day for the zep.
I'm really sad to hear this! I didn't mean to! I promise!
"It appears my hypocrisy knows no bounds." -Doc Holliday
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AndyDufresne
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areyouincahoots
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Smithy - have you thought about getting a hand puppet? They may take a while to warm up to, but then they look at you funny and you sort of forget they're on your own hand, and that's when the real conversation starts going. They can cry too, but it's really hard to kick them - they're quick to get out of the way.
Hoots - http://www.conquerclub.com/forum/memberlist.php, pick "total posts" in the "Sort By" dropbox, and "descending".
I had no idea Grim was so prolific.
Hoots - http://www.conquerclub.com/forum/memberlist.php, pick "total posts" in the "Sort By" dropbox, and "descending".
I had no idea Grim was so prolific.
Losing a lot
Well, at one time I was in and out of the top ten people on the scoreboard and I once made it to third. I think I'm a sargeant now....lol
There is an explanation though. I used to only play escalating games on the classic map, (which I am very good at...lol), but I want to support the xiGAMES and will jump into one whenever I see one regardless of what the options are.
Scarus
There is an explanation though. I used to only play escalating games on the classic map, (which I am very good at...lol), but I want to support the xiGAMES and will jump into one whenever I see one regardless of what the options are.
Scarus
Been playing Risk for a bit
Proud Member of xiGames, where Friends Kill Friends, with Honor
Proud Member of xiGames, where Friends Kill Friends, with Honor
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johnnyrotten
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Re: Spam
SMITH197 wrote:Scarus wrote:Hey Guys,
Don't know if you'll be able to find this message in all this crap but I have some suggestions about how to deal with our little problem:
1. Do not respond to any spam in any way.
2. Do not mention the names of any spammers
3. email, and/or pm lack and call his attention to this. This is abuse. Ask Lack to suspend the posting privileges of any abusive spammers and specifically to take away the posting privileges in this particular thread from anyone who has been abusive. All Lack has to do is to check off a little box on this thread to do this.
Let's make a concerted, adult, effort to get our thread back
Sure thing scarus...do you think PMing or email lack would be best? Or creating a post for him to view?
Lol.. you make this big effort to come across as 'adult', then go about like some schoolkid, telling teacher.
Jeez, I hate to think what's going to happen when you finally leave your room.
Haven't you started to notice girls yet? (or boys, whatever floats yer boat). Sounds like you need a good seeing to in order to unplug your head from your arse.
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thegrimsleeper
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