Conquer Club

I have to write this 5 paragraph paper about sometime I got in trouble. Unfortunately, I have a bad memory.

SO I'm relying on you to make up some crap (I know some of you have fetishes for this kind of stuff).

The general topic is my bird escaping; I need some help with the details.

Be like, you were having a huge sex and crack party and shit was being knocked over, including your bird cage. The bird got out, you started crying in a crouched position, holding your knees, and your parents arrive in time enough to see that there was a huge orgy taking place in the dining room. You get in big trouble AND you lose your bird.

If anyone indulged your request, and you submitted the post as your paper, as your own words, you would be guilty of plagiarism.

Hopefully, no one will help you.

Hopefully, you will learn to help yourself, and just do your own work. It's not that hard, buckaroo. It just requires a bit of discipline and effort.

I say get out the easy way and write "When assigned this paper, I understood that I was to write about some time I had gotten into some sort of trouble. Knowing that, I am unable to write this paper in good conscious as I have never been involved in the tomfoolery of my fellow classmates. Thank you, and good day sir/madam."

Then when your teacher gives you your paper back with the expected grade exclaim, "Oh, and I'm sure you would've given Jesus of Nazareth an 'F' too, huh?"

Duh.

Did you actually have a bird and did it actually escape (i.e., is this fiction)? Also, when did it happen, how old were you, what kind of bird, how long had you had it, was it your fault, and did the bird come back?

L

Obviously you were caught trying to copulate with the bird, ended up being so confused by cloacal structure that you threw it out the window before you could think about what you were doing.

You grew hungry one day, and you had no food at all. You've seen animals eat several birds, and you wished to give your pet bird a try. It may taste like chicken, you thought. Placing your hand in the cage, your bird pecked at you. It knew what was coming. "Hahha", you thought, "I'll get you soon! And then you can see who has the bigger pecker! Hahahaha!"

With that thought, your bird started jumping around the cage. Doing flips and crouches you thought a bird could never do. And all the while it continued to peck at you. Peck peck peck, it wouldn't stop!

To be continued..

5 paragraphs? And such a random topic. Wow

fireedud wrote:I have to write this 5 paragraph paper about sometime I got in trouble. Unfortunately, I have a bad memory.

SO I'm relying on you to make up some crap (I know some of you have fetishes for this kind of stuff).

The general topic is my bird escaping; I need some help with the details.

How about:
You work in a top-secret disease control and testing centre. You have isolated and genetically enhanced the most contagious and lethal strain of bird flu yet discovered so you can work on a cure. It has been injected into a pigeon, and the only people who have been successfully vaccinated are you and your gorgeous lab assistant, Kelly, because it hasn't worked on anyone else.
One day the centre is attacked by animal rights terrorists who shoot their way through security and free all the animals, incuding your pigeon. The bird should have been locked up but you forgot, because you were comforting Kelly over her recent break-up with her boyfriend. When the lab director finds out, he starts shouting at you and almost fires you, but dies of bird flu midway through bawling you out. Then everyone dies of bird flu exepct you and Kelly, who then has to sleep with you in order to repopulate the planet.
I got far too into that.

Search for posts by SnakeySnakey or RustyMonkey and do a copypasta.

MeDeFe wrote:Search for posts by SnakeySnakey or RustyMonkey and do a copypasta.

Goddamn!

I was just about to suggest that myself...

But yeah, go find a Snakeysnakey post that's long enough to fit your criteria, then hand that in... it'll get you at least a B-

BananaMan wrote:

fireedud wrote:I have to write this 5 paragraph paper about sometime I got in trouble. Unfortunately, I have a bad memory.

SO I'm relying on you to make up some crap (I know some of you have fetishes for this kind of stuff).

The general topic is my bird escaping; I need some help with the details.

This one time my bird escaped while I was in San Fran, and convinced all the other birds to go on a rampage against mankind. Bodega Bay has never been the same. Ask Alfred Hitchcock.

Luckily they were calmed down by a guy in Alcatraz.

Dancing Mustard wrote:

MeDeFe wrote:Search for posts by SnakeySnakey or RustyMonkey and do a copypasta.

Goddamn!

I was just about to suggest that myself...

But yeah, go find a Snakeysnakey post that's long enough to fit your criteria, then hand that in... it'll get you at least a B-

good idea, but I already wrote, I tried to incorporate your ideas, but... let's just say I tried.

right about the time my dick didnt work in bed.

fireedud wrote:

Dancing Mustard wrote:

MeDeFe wrote:Search for posts by SnakeySnakey or RustyMonkey and do a copypasta.

Goddamn!

I was just about to suggest that myself...

But yeah, go find a Snakeysnakey post that's long enough to fit your criteria, then hand that in... it'll get you at least a B-

good idea, but I already wrote, I tried to incorporate your ideas, but... let's just say I tried.

I'm telling you, it would have been much easier to go with my idea.

RustyMonkey wrote:right about the time my dick didnt work in bed.

He has to write about a time he got in trouble, not ghost-write your autobiography.