Conquer Club

Balls, too.

Stop arguing you two.

Scott, water flavored with Nathan's penis is considered a delicacy in Djibouti.

And, Nathan, Scott and the rest of the bar staff will indeed be getting food. I plan to have a salad bar available for them consisting of black olives, maraschino cherries and wedges of lime.

saxi, after I detonate the bomb in the taco bar and kill most of your guests, how should I finish you off? Would you rather I remove your eyeballs slowly and painfully and then piss in your empty sockets or would you rather I chinese water torture you?

Hey Natty, opposites attract.

Ya never know what could be...

First off, if jefrey the Uhmuricun is invited, then I'M NOT COMING.

saxitoxin wrote:

Will there be cake?

Yes. Dessert will be your choice of (1) Devil's Food cake with caramel topping served off Serbia's glistening, muscular thighs, or, (2) Ice Cream Sandwich.

I certainly know which I'd recommend! (full disclosure - it's been a while since I shaved my thighs)

saxitoxin wrote:

What's the dress code for this event?

dress code is "white tie"*

* except for Serbia, which is "Clothing Optional"

Hope everyone is ok with this OSYMAT sporting an erect appendage for the duration of the dinner...

I have some other things I need to say as well...
1) Phatscotty better hook me up with some awesome cigars.
2) AoG, dude, chill. Not like you weren't invited, eh? (if you do kill people, remember your old pal Serbia, and don't harm me bro)
3) Bartenders - I like my drinks strong. I'll be starting with vodka and tonic cocktails. You'll need to bring me shots. Surprise me. They should be interesting (different colors, flavors), and not whiskey based (unless it's straight whiskey! LOL)
4) Do the dancing girls know yet that it's "clothing prohibited"? (sorry if I just ruined the surprise, all! LMAO! LOL)
5) Saxi, doll, I luv u :heart shaped box:

I will be recommending my personal favorite, the Cuban Davidoff.



For Serbia, just because he is sitting as Guest of Honor to Saxi, you can have your very own cigar tray. And for 35$, I can have your name engraved in .9999 Extra Fine Canadian Silver to commemorate this fine event.


And not to step on Maasman's toes, I will also be recommending the Chartreuse for an after dinner drink to accompany the cigar. Aged with 130 herbal extracts, the liqueur is named after the Monks' Grande Chartreuse monastery, located in the Chartreuse Mountains in the general region of Grenoble in France.



Mozart Requiem's will be on constant loop in the Smoking Room.

Excellent choice. And I'll take the tray as well. For you, I give $50 - keep the change. Make sure you spell my name correctly:
Dejan Stanković

Good dear god, how did I miss this earlier? Well swell, can I switch to sit next to nag? We're going to start a food fight.

-rd

Chartreuse, so good they named a color after it.

Respectfully request that there be at least 3 courses of poutine, and that these course be mandatory for all guests, NO EXCEPTIONS! (i'm looking at you greece pwns)

1) Nice touch with pimpdave on the corner, and there being an empty seat catty-corner to him. Be warned that he does have connections with the TPDS*.


2) I've noticed a potential threat to security coming from the Kid's Table. How can BigBallinStalin's Security Solutions be of service?



*Tea Party Death Squads

BigBallinStalin wrote:2) I've noticed a potential threat to security coming from the Kid's Table. How can BigBallinStalin's Security Solutions be of service?

we can't be stopped by the likes of you!

BigBallinStalin wrote:1) Nice touch with pimpdave on the corner, and there being an empty seat catty-corner to him.

He gets the corner seat because he doesn't have elbows. He lost them from a TPDS land mine

There is an empty seat there so nobody has to watch him eat with his feet.

Phatscotty wrote:

BigBallinStalin wrote:1) Nice touch with pimpdave on the corner, and there being an empty seat catty-corner to him.

He gets the corner seat because he doesn't have elbows. He lost them from a TPDS land mine

There is an empty seat there so nobody has to watch him eat with his feet.

ATTENTION DEAREST SAXI
I have a request. Please move Pimpdave from the furthest corner to the closest corner, where you have an empty seat. He belongs with us.

Army of GOD wrote:saxi, after I detonate the bomb in the taco bar and kill most of your guests, how should I finish you off? Would you rather I remove your eyeballs slowly and painfully and then piss in your empty sockets or would you rather I chinese water torture you?

Why so cranky, AOG? Is your tummy-tum upset again? Uncle Saxi will make you a glass of warm milk. Gang, sorry about AOG - he has a sensitive tummy-tum so sometimes gets cranky-wanky. John9Blue - during dinner please make sure people don't tickle AOG's tummy-tum or he might barfy-warf. Thank you.

Serbia wrote:I have some other things I need to say as well...

ul never know how hawt u-r

Scott wrote:I will be recommending my personal favorite, the Cuban Davidoff.

Very well. I'll add these to my monthly requisition of mortar shells and RPGs that Barto sneaks past the embargo.

Scott wrote:Mozart Requiem's will be on constant loop in the Smoking Room.

As much as I like funerary music, I'm afraid the Italo Bros. Stamp on the Ground is actually on constant loop in the Smoking Room, as ol' Saxi is partial to it due to Esmerelda and my cameo.

(This can be confusing as it sounds similar to DJ Millo's "Emergency! Evacuation!" which is actually the audio tone that plays through the alert klaxons in the event my counter-surveillance teams report the Santa Barbara Sheriff/U.S. Marines/Jehovah's Witnesses converging on my compound. So, if you hear DJ Millo during dinner you have exactly 3 minutes to make it to the evac bus. Baron is in charge of grabbing my Rex cats, Old Tom II and Silly Lady II. BBS and Falkomagno are responsible for making sure the kids (SG7, AOG, J9B and colton24) get out okay. JoshyBoy and tdans are to rip off their shirts and flex gratuitously to create a distraction.



)

rdsrds2120 wrote:Well swell, can I switch to sit next to nag? We're going to start a food fight.

MOVED TO THE KIDS' TABLE

Baron wrote:(i'm looking at you greece pwns)

NO ONE is to look directly at either GreecePWNS or The Greek Dog during dinner. Doing so might encourage them to start smashing dishes on the floor while performing a line dance on the table. Gang, please remember I'm a senior on a fixed income. The balance on my Bed Bath & Beyond credit card is already a bit higher than I'd like and I don't want to have to splurge for new tableware.

2dimes wrote:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ij3Yl3wrGVk

Well I don't have Corelle dinnerware and I don't my nice, relaxed dinner party to turn into this just because I was nice enough to invite TGD and GreecePWNS - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vFWKrFNN ... re=related.

Why can't I have tacos and celeberty tarts?

Wow I'm so glad I'm sitting at the kid's table so I don't have to drink dick water. That sounds disgusting. And don't worry about AoG. I'll surround his taco bomb with an electro-magnetic field and the explosion won't harm a single taco crum.
john9blue, don't forget to bring your pony collection. I'll be bringing Legos.

colton24! where are you buddy! I've never even met you! where are you?

I hate it that you invite people I don't know. I wish they'd show up so I could meet them.

And about those dancing girls, I hope you block their view form the kid's table or else I'll portal in some clothes on them. Inappropriate for little kids like AoG.

-Sully

This is one of those mean sike experiment things to record how many times you can make me cry isn't it?

You do understand, saxi, that I will be forced to toss the children in front of the pursuing cop cars in order to delay them. This is simply a matter of survival for the group.

Is Cowboy Neil at the wheel of the bus to neverland? If so, I want in the bus.

What's the address? I'm afraid I've never been to your house.

InkL0sed wrote:What's the address? I'm afraid I've never been to your house.

45XX Via Esperanza
Santa Barbara, CA

(EDIT "XX" - I was just informed I can't post addresses in the forums. So just go to the 4500 block of V-E and drive about and you'll find it.)

you can't see my compound from the street but there's a low gate when you get there ... DO NOT TRY TO CLIMB OVER IT, there's pressure wire on it and it will activate the mine field if you weigh more than 120 pounds (Shield, AOG, J9B and colton can safely climb on it to their hearts content I'm sure)

ring at the call-box and Barto will answer; tell him you're one of Saxi's friends from The Club and he'll buzz you in (you'll have to explain this in German as Barto doesn't speak English - I recommend purchasing Rosetta Stone Deutsch! discs 1-6 to help you prepare for dinner at Saxi's house - even MeDeFe and Swiss Tony may need to brush-up as Barto speaks an obscure Lusatian dialect and also has a serious speech impediment)

So you'll know to recognize him, here's a pic of Barto I took at the Santa Barbara Flower & Garden Show last year -