the longest thread, thread - Occasionally NSFW

[Dukasaur]

I thought I was 58 going on 15.

But you're whatever going on 12.

[jonesthecurl]

Well played.

[Quirk]

[autoload]

That looks very similar to the Giant Wood Spider we used to see all the time on Okinawa. As kids we called them Banana Spiders.

[Dukasaur]

I know you all love my sex stories, and I've been dying to tell someone about this one. It doesn't deserve a thread of its own, but it's certainly worth a post, so I'll put it here.

So, the other day I was supposed to go to my girlfriend's house, but fate had other plans. There was a fatality on the highway and I got called in to work to come shut down the highway. Usually takes five or six hours for the cops to do an investigation at a fatality and clean up the mess, so my evening was done.

My girlfriend was pretty disappointed that I wasn't coming (over) so when she was going to bed I called her up and told her a little bedtime story. She was starting to really get into it, when, just my damned luck, the inspector from the Ministry of Transportation came and knocked on my window. Technically a Ministry inspector is my superior, I'm supposed to click my heels and say 'Jawohl' when he summons me, but I wasn't about to leave a pretty lady stranded halfway to the Big O, so I pointed at my phone and waved him away.

After a couple minutes he apparently thought he had waited long enough, and he came and knocked on my window again. I had planned ahead -- my doors and windows were locked, so unless I opened them he couldn't actually get in. I could tell my girlfriend was on Final Approach to Runway Nine, so I gave the inspector my rage face and waved him away with an angry gesture. Never missed a beat in my storytelling.

After a another minute the happy gasps from my phone told me that we had arrived at our destination. I said a few sweet things for a goodbye, and then I went to make my peace with the inspector. I told him I had been dealing with a close friend who was going through an extreme personal crisis, which was moderately close to the truth. He was completely forgiving.

I can't tell you how exciting it was. It was like being in high school again and trying to seal the deal behind the couch in the library while the librarian walks past.

[autoload]

That story sounded like something someone who is 15 going on 58 would say to his friends in the cafeteria.

[2dimes]

He didn't want to do it but it got too lonely.
He had to call her up in the middle of the ni-I-ight.

[Dukasaur]

That story sounded like something someone who is 15 going on 58 would say to his friends in the cafeteria.

[autoload]

That story sounded like something someone who is 15 going on 58 would say to his friends in the cafeteria.

[Phate]

shite this thread is still going

[Quirk]

Missouri 6
Georgia 43

[autoload]

shite this thread is still going

This thread is Huge.

On another note, this reply is #66,661 of this thread.

[Dukasaur]

Oh boy! Who will get 66666?

And many years hence, who will get 666,666?

[2dimes]

I'm gearing up for number 66,669.

[autoload]

If I am around for reply 666,666 Then I will say "This thread is HUGE" (ALL CAPS)

[therozza]

That story sounded like something someone who is 15 going on 58 would say to his friends in the cafeteria.

I was going to say "sounds like a tissue of lies" but yeah...you nailed it lol

[therozza]

If I am around for reply 666,666 Then I will say "This thread is HUGE" (ALL CAPS)

You crazy fool, you'll never be able to handle ALL caps!

[Quirk]

[autoload]

If I am around for reply 666,666 Then I will say "This thread is HUGE" (ALL CAPS)

You crazy fool, you'll never be able to handle ALL caps!

Wow! You got the 66,666th reply!

You win the half box of tissues under Dukasaur's bed!

[2dimes]

And auto posted number 66,669. Gigity!

[Dukasaur]

That story sounded like something someone who is 15 going on 58 would say to his friends in the cafeteria.

I was going to say "sounds like a tissue of lies" but yeah...you nailed it lol

You're idiots. If one wanted to invent a sex story, it would almost certainly end in an orgasm for oneself, not in one altruistically producing an orgasm for someone else without reserving one for oneself.

[2dimes]

Dear Penthouse,

We never thought it would happen to us. We were in the longest thread, thread looking at banana pictures. Symmetry turned the corner into the produce isle, pushing a Tesco trolley with jusplay4fun riding in it...

[KoolBak]

Ok DoD....

I am going to need:

1. Details on the mechanics of her trip. E.G., what specific tools were involved in the accomplishment of the finished product....? Were outside lubricants required for any power tools? What was the duration of the endeavor?

2. Were any watermains struck in completion of the project? If so, how extensive was the cleanup?

3. Upon your next episode, will your project management skills be hands on or remote? If hands on, will your project time be shortened or lengthened? Why?

I'm working on your annual review. These answers WILL impact any increase in benefits I may see fit to assign.

Pictures would be ideal in support of your reply.

[2dimes]

[autoload]

This thread is Huge.