The Longest Thread, Thread - Occasionally NSFW-----------------------issue 12/7/2015ad
---PHILOSOPHY----Random Awesomeness of the Week!------COMIC!!!!-------Target history fact of the week------ WHAT WAS NOT SAID IN THIS POST!!!!-----Pic of the week-------this week in the thread----Question of the week----INTERVIEW!!!—overlooked post!!!!
For it has been a while so I jammed back this newsletter with a lot of fun!!!!
PHILOSOPHY
Today is philosophie is all about Beer. Yes I mean lets talk beer. there is a beer for everone, hoppy, whaty, malty, rooty, apple. ok the last two where not beer but still my point is that beer is good how good? well some historians actuall think that humans created larger settements to cultavate more beer. which is the start of civilization. But that the back ground what could be philisophical about beer? why good heavens man beer is essential to all great things. i mean its so good... nom nom nom. Ok so if beer puts you in an altered state does that mean that reality makes it altered. or does that mean you are altered? hmmm i wonder well for the sake of this thread i will start an experment... i will get drunk and see if it is one or the other. intreasting.
Random Awesomeness of the Week:
The Official List of the Best Things in Existence
The term “The best thing since sliced bread” has been around in popular English vernacular since before anyone can accurately recall. The phrase is used to describe anything thought to be great, and is used thoughtlessly. Since the dawn of time, a list has been inscribed in the history of the cosmos of the best things ever, an Official List of the Best Things in Existence.
This is not to be confused with the list of Greatest Inventions, as this list covers not only inventions but ideas, discoveries, people and yes, Virginia, even countries. What follows is The Official List of the Best Things in Existence in its entirety.
Contents[show]
Timeline of the Best Things Ever
1. Chuck Norris
-Timelessness-Contemporary Times
Often credited with creation of the physical universe, Chuck Norris is also a noted ass-kicker and doer of good deeds. All legends throughout the history of mankind are directly attributable to Norris' actions, including the bringing of fire to mankind and the Biblical flood. His beard conceals a third fist, rather than the standard chin, and his famed roundhouse kick was the real cause of the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah. Of late, Mr. Norris has been keeping a lower profile than normal, although rumor has it that Norris will rise again when angels walk the Earth. Only time will tell if this is a fact.
Note: Unfortunately, no picture of Chuck Norris is available; this is due to the fact that he occupies over twenty dimensions, making it physically impossible to capture him on film, or in prison.
2.God
Our God is a bitter God
Timelessness-4 billion BC
He was the only thing for an unimaginably long stretch of time.
3.Oxygen
4 billion BC-60 million BC
In the beginning, Optimus Prime created the heavens and the earth, and a bunch of other boring shit that everyone takes for granted. Yadda yadda yadda, and then He created life. This life promptly died within the first few minutes of creation, no matter how many times He tried to make it. Eventually, He realized that the life He created couldn’t breathe, and so He invented oxygen, which allowed life to flourish.
Optimus Prime then realized that, according to the list, He had created something even more important than Himself, and went into seclusion for 4 billion years and running. His last words were reportedly “Yeah, well, I was on the list the longest, and nothing’s going to take that record from me!”
And you know what? There’s no way to prove Him wrong.
4.Monkeys
Human
The highest point of evolution
60 million BC-45 million BC
And the life known as ‘Dinosaur’ died, and so humans stepped up to claim their position as the greatest species on planet earth. They survived the alien death rays that killed off the dinosaurs, and as such, they celebrated. They threw such a wild party that creation itself took notice of them, and inscribed homo sapiens on the Official List of the Best Things in Existence. Of course, this was BEFORE it found out what man had left flaming on it's front doorstep. After that, it was just too late.
Language
Wordy
5.Behold the power of language!
45 million BC-20 million BC
Language is believed to have first been discovered around 45,000,000 BC when, moving rocks from one big pile of rocks to another large pile of rocks, an unnamed caveman dropped a rock on his foot and uttered the pivotal first word: “Moog”. Modern scholars have extensively studied this word and translate “Moog” as “f*ck my toe”. Language has several branches on the Official List of the Best Things in Existence, which are listed under three separate entries.
Punctuation
40 million BC-35 million BC
Did the anonymous caveman want someone to attempt sexual intercourse with his toe? In 40,000,000 BC a solution that would last until the 1990s was created when periods, commas, question marks, semicolons, weird things like ΅ that no one really uses, and exclamation points entered language, finally allowing people to differentiate sentences. Thus, “Moog” was promptly amended to “Moog!” which translates into “f*ck! My toe!”
For complete list cheek out.
http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/The ... _Existence
COMIC!!!!!! Time.
Target’s history fact of the week.
Pearl harbor
At 7:55 a.m. Hawaii time, a Japanese dive bomber bearing the red symbol of the Rising Sun of Japan on its wings appears out of the clouds above the island of Oahu. A swarm of 360 Japanese warplanes followed, descending on the U.S. naval base at Pearl Harbor in a ferocious assault. The surprise attack struck a critical blow against the U.S. Pacific fleet and drew the United States irrevocably into World War II.
WE will never forget the sacrifices you made for us.truly this day will live in infamy.
WHAT WAS NOT SAID IN THIS POST!!!!
strike wolf wrote:I'm going to see Mark Knopflwe in concert tomorrow. I don't know if I this is the most excired I've ever been for a concert but it is the most since I saw Roger Waters a few years ago.
What was not said in this post most people would think that is straight forward. But let us construct a timeline.
36 hours before concert
Wakes up eats KIX! cause his mother approved it and he tested it!!!
34 hours before concert
watches barney reruns
30 hours before concert
gets some skittles from the local drug dealer
26 hours before concert
goes to liquor store to buy alchool
24 hours before concert
sits down with family for family dinner of good suthern stly cusin fried chicken and good stuff
22 hours before concert
goes to sleep
7 hours before concert
picks up girlfriend goes to a romantic dinner at mky ds before concert CLASSY!!!
4 hours before concert
Goes to concert to get
1 hours before concert
sneeks into batheroom for a quicky with the gf and well to eat the skittles
SHOWTIME PARTY IT UP!!!
BEST PIC OF THE WEEK!!!!!
I LOVE THE AUTO PIOLT IN AIRPLANE!!!!
Runerup!!!
cause this picture is soooo funny
This week in the Thread
jonesthecurl wrote:You forgot "Jonesey's shameless self-publicity".
jonesy shows his true colors!!
Advertising!!!
subtleknifewield wrote:NO, IT IS NOT OK, I AM BEING INVADED BY PESTS!
subtleknief has probems with pest... probably cause he started to post in the longest thread.
Funkyterrance wrote:My God this thread is DRY.
Since the last newsletter the MAN!!! in charge of the longest thread has offical decleared that we are almost out of water!!! good thing THE man Chewie has instutionlized a water rationing luckly we have lots of alchool!!!!
INTERVIEWs
TODAY WE WILL INTERVIEW TARGETMAN377
What is your favoirt color
T-GOLD
Do you have any phobias?
yes i am deathly scared of dead things
any nicknames?
yes, pickles, two shot turbo, gumby,
Faviort vacation spot?
yellowstone or washington dc.
faviort movie?
can't make up my mind at all the great gatsby is great both old and new, letters from iwa jima, captin america first avenger, batman begins, worlds fastest indian, and many more
faviort book?
WHAT GOD HATH WRAOUGHT, transformation of america from 1815-1844, The age of fedralism 1790-1800, Truman, JOHN adams, MAsh 4077,
what is your faviort super hero?
in order
1. Captin america
2. doctor who
3. batman
apple or pc?
pc
By sending me the article you are giving me the rights to that article and I have the right to edit it and change it as I see fit. And also I can keep it in reserves as long as I see fit. I will give you full credit.
Thanks!!!!!!!
