Anon.
It saddens me to hear of a complaint about our service in such a way. Not least of all being as you are one of our most treasured VIP customers, whom generates much repeat business. I can assure you that "Lucy" was supplied by MPG Goat Distributors Inc. to your "agent" in the very best of pristine condition. We here at MPG Goat Distributors Inc. pride ourselves on supplying our customers with Goats in their purest, virginal, form. We cannot however be held responsible, nor accountable, for our merchandise after it leaves our control or by the action of Secondary Parties.
I refer you to our warranty policy (with pertinent parts highlighted) :
MPG Goat Distributors Inc. Limited Warranty -
Effective with Purchase of MPG Goat Distributors Inc. products after September 1, 2007.
1. LIMITED WARRANTY -
MPG Goat Distributors Inc. warrants its products, if properly used and installed, to be free from defects in material and workmanship
for a period of time from the date of invoice for 90 days. This limited warranty applies only to the original purchasers of MPG Goat Distributors Inc. products.
2. WARRANTY CONDITIONS - If returned products are: a) within the warranty period, b) accompanied by the proper Return Materials Authorization ("RMA") issued by MPG Goat Distributors Inc and c) found to be defective as determined by MPG Goat Distributors Inc. MPG Goat Distributors Inc. will at its option: 1) repair the defective product within 10 working days, 2) replace the defective product with a refurbished product or 3) issue a credit to the Purchaser for the current value of the product. For purposes of this Limited Warranty, "refurbished" means a product that has been returned to its original specifications.
3. WARRANTY VOID CONDITIONS -
This limited warranty does not cover any failure(s) or
defect(s)
caused by misuse, accident,
abnormal or unusually
heavy use, improper handling, neglect, abuse,
alteration, improper use,
unauthorized modification,
or causes external to the product such as, but not limited to, excessive heat,
acts of Secondary Parties, or acts of God.
This limited warranty will be void if evidence is seen of screw holes created by the Purchaser, more than four wires broken,
or evidence seen of work performed or damage caused
by a party other than MPG Goat Distributors Inc.
This limited warranty does not cover expendable components, software supplied, experimental or developmental products, and compatibility issues with
anything introduced to the product after the time of purchase. Under no circumstances will MPG Goat Distributors Inc.be responsible for other costs associated with product replacement or repair, such as labor, installation or other costs incurred by the Purchaser.
I also refer you to our Security Cam Footage (attached below) of your "agent" who went by the name of Draq.
Taken shortly after he picked up and "took delivery of" (in more ways than one), of "Lucy" for you.
