Conquer Club

RustyMonkey wrote:

if this is real, then wow, i have to say you are the biggest bitch in history...paying for your "gf" and her boyfriend to go have sex on a vacation while you're at home playing with yourself bravo

hey, she loves me.

RustyMonkey wrote:

Captain naive,

If she loved you as you do her, she would not ever consider sleeping with other people. You, are her sugar daddy. She is keeping you around because of the things you do (pay for) her and the other guy(s) she is intimate with. You are being played the fool. Drop her like the Packers dropped Favre.

I'm sorry, could you explain the metaphor some? I don't know a lot about baseball.

You should play the pity game:
You could, I dunno, tell her you were so desperate that you were going to craigslist to find a tornado JO.

Or you could write her a poem:

If I'm lacking in all sex appeal,
or if anyway that's how you feel,
Now I know you won't f***
So let's try this for luck:
How about if I stand and you kneel?

RustyMonkey wrote:

Captain naive,

If she loved you as you do her, she would not ever consider sleeping with other people. You, are her sugar daddy. She is keeping you around because of the things you do (pay for) her and the other guy(s) she is intimate with. You are being played the fool. Drop her like the Packers dropped Favre.

I'm sorry, could you explain the metaphor some? I don't know a lot about baseball.

RustyMonkey wrote:

if this is real, then wow, i have to say you are the biggest bitch in history...paying for your "gf" and her boyfriend to go have sex on a vacation while you're at home playing with yourself bravo

hey, she loves me.

RustyMonkey wrote:...more time with her physical bf.

So basically, we met two years ago and she was my first hug, hand hold, kiss, etc. I bought her tons of gifts to lead up to telling her I loved her, and then I told her I loved her after a month and wanted to try having sex. She told me she ruined too many relationships because having sex with someone takes away from the mental aspect of the relationship. She wanted me to stay a pure virgin and love her as much as I always did.

This made perfect sense, and I agreed with her. Soon she said she wanted to have sex, but not with me for the reasons she stated before. She then said she had a friend she had sex with the night before because she had a strong urge to, and she would be having sex with him on a regular basis but would not love him like she loves me. This made me feel really good inside. She could even have sex with someone else and still love me! I was her "mental boyfriend" and he would be her "physical boyfriend".

For our anniversary we were going to book a trip to Venice as a romantic getaway. She told me we didn't need to do something like that, but she would love to have a sexual getaway with the other guy. She convinced me to pay for it, and I mutually agreed since I understand she needs to have sex and I can't provide her.

Now for our second anniversary I sent her and the guy to Prague for another trip, even though I was kind of hoping to go to Euro Disney with her for a fun time. It is getting kind of frustrating she won't go on a trip with me and then him later.

What should I do?

brooksieb wrote:

RustyMonkey wrote:...more time with her physical bf.

So basically, we met two years ago and she was my first hug, hand hold, kiss, etc. I bought her tons of gifts to lead up to telling her I loved her, and then I told her I loved her after a month and wanted to try having sex. She told me she ruined too many relationships because having sex with someone takes away from the mental aspect of the relationship. She wanted me to stay a pure virgin and love her as much as I always did.

This made perfect sense, and I agreed with her. Soon she said she wanted to have sex, but not with me for the reasons she stated before. She then said she had a friend she had sex with the night before because she had a strong urge to, and she would be having sex with him on a regular basis but would not love him like she loves me. This made me feel really good inside. She could even have sex with someone else and still love me! I was her "mental boyfriend" and he would be her "physical boyfriend".

For our anniversary we were going to book a trip to Venice as a romantic getaway. She told me we didn't need to do something like that, but she would love to have a sexual getaway with the other guy. She convinced me to pay for it, and I mutually agreed since I understand she needs to have sex and I can't provide her.

Now for our second anniversary I sent her and the guy to Prague for another trip, even though I was kind of hoping to go to Euro Disney with her for a fun time. It is getting kind of frustrating she won't go on a trip with me and then him later.

What should I do?

Anyway still be the "mental" boyfriend and get yourself a "sexual" girlfriend to pleasure your' needs see how she behaves about that then if she is not willing pretend you dumped your' "sexual" GF and "rekindle" the relationship, go to a public place then tell her you're dumping her, embarrise her and to add insult to injury tell her you've still got your' "sexual" girlfriend, if you can't get a girl like that, lie and make a good mock up.

CBlake wrote:stick it in her u pussy

jnd94 wrote:Frankly, you're acting naive about this. If you look at it through an unbiased perspective. Actions speak louder than words. Even if she says she loves you she obviously doesn't......It doesn't take a genius to see through this one...

william18 wrote:She is obviously using you. If she asks to go on vacation again with some other guy to screw him while your paying, you better pimp hand that bitch. If she's going on your anniversary, with someother guys, that pretty much means she holds your feelings up to the equivalent of how much shes cares about what time she goes to bed. You can do wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy better. Like before dump her publicly, insult her("astleast you still have your physical boyfriend"), then leave. No one deserves this kind if treatment.

hecter wrote:Dude, you have an amazing thing going here! Don't break it off! She loves you, and you love her, and that's all that matters. I mean, what does sex even mean? Egads! Rubbing your penis inside somebodies moist flesh! I mean, when you think about it, eeww? Let this guy be the "physical bf", 'cause you're getting what really counts; her love!

Smokingdude420 wrote:yeah don't ruin it for the rest of the people who didn't know it was a joke

Visaoni wrote:I'm not sure what to make of this thread. On one hand, the OP is a brilliant comedic genius. Then again, how many people have fallen for it is also hilarious. But I find that fact also rather sad. Is this what we have been reduced to? That many of us don't even find this story very hard to believe? I laugh, I laugh, and I cry.

I also find it great that most of the guys who realized this thread for what it truly is are fellow GHs.

hecter wrote:

Smokingdude420 wrote:yeah don't ruin it for the rest of the people who didn't know it was a joke

Too late, he outed that fact and killed our lulz.

jonesthecurl wrote:I may not be a clan member, but I am a godless heathen.

hecter wrote:

Smokingdude420 wrote:yeah don't ruin it for the rest of the people who didn't know it was a joke

Too late, he outed that fact and killed our lulz.