Conquer Club, Help Me!

[strike wolf]

YOU all are being way to defensive.

Of course we're being defensive. You're coming across (intentional or not) that guys are low-down cheating scumbags. We're trying to defend ourselves instead of letting you try to trample all over us.

[freezie]

Beastly, let me ask you a few simple questions, then tell me honnestly what you would do.


What if your man's mind wouldn't only be toward sex and rather he was interested in love?

Would you actually gime him a bit of FREEDOM?


But I have to agree, beeing commited does mean less freedom, but it's not slavery either.

But cheating on someone, commited or not, it's still a cheap-ass thing to do. Not only when married.

Love > sex. This is my whole point.

[Skoffin]

Beastly, you say you trust your husband not to pursue other women, but by denying him the right to other female friends it's implying that you don't trust him so much.

Ah well this argument is getting repetive and tiring, have fun you lot

[muy_thaiguy]

YOU all are being way to defensive.

Of course we're being defensive. You're coming across (intentional or not) that guys are low-down cheating scumbags. We're trying to defend ourselves instead of letting you try to trample all over us.

What else did you expect us to do Beastly?

[freezie]

Beastly, you say you trust your husband not to pursue other women, but by denying him the right to other female friends it's implying that you don't trust him so much.

Exactly.

[muy_thaiguy]

Beastly, you say you trust your husband not to pursue other women, but by denying him the right to other female friends it's implying that you don't trust him so much.

Ah well this argument is getting repetive and tiring, have fun you lot

QFT

[Beastly]

[/quote]

Beastly, let me ask you a few simple questions, then tell me honnestly what you would do.


What if your man's mind wouldn't only be toward sex and rather he was interested in love?

I don't understand that question? My man is interested in being in love with another woman? If he feels he needs to go there, then I allow him to leave. What else would I do? But, Do I say go look to love someone elsewhere? heck no?

Would you actually gime him a bit of FREEDOM?

NO i would never allow my man to go find love elsewhere, my man doesn't need to even do that... he has a family here who give him more than enough love.

But I have to agree, beeing commited does mean less freedom, but it's not slavery either.

I don't understand how having a boundry of not having Alone companionships with other women is slavery?

But cheating on someone, commited or not, it's still a cheap-ass thing to do. Not only when married.

Love > sex. This is my whole point.

So freezie, does your father go and meet women on the internet then tell your mother after the fact that he went and met with her, and is attracted to her? Do you believe this would be good for a relationship?

That is my point.

[wicked]

I'll just say I'm NOT for sharing my man. That would be what the "MY" in front of that means. yes I failed sharing in kindergarten. But then again, some things aren't meant to be shared.

[Beastly]

YOU all are being way to defensive.

Of course we're being defensive. You're coming across (intentional or not) that guys are low-down cheating scumbags. We're trying to defend ourselves instead of letting you try to trample all over us.

What else did you expect us to do Beastly?

I never said anything about guys being low-down cheating scumbags....

I am not trampling over anybody,

I am simply stating that It is wrong for a man to seek out companionship on the internet if he has a girlfriend or wife at home...

What is so wrong with that?

And I would like to see where i (intentional or not) was putting down men?

[Skoffin]

Now I could be wrong, but I think everyone else here is arguining that people can have mere 'friendships' with the other gender, and Beastly is speaking of a whole other ballgame.

[freezie]

My father has been divorced for 14 years, and left my mother for that exact reason.

The problem, he hid it as working in the weekends, which he never did. And did it freqently.

Having a single friend of another gender and going out with her once ( As FRIENDS ) in about 3 months, how is that bad?

Like I said, stop repeating yourself. Stop saying you wouldn't allow him to find love elsewhere, this is NOT what we are saying.

Hanging out with a friend isn't bad, right?

Now what if that friend is a girl. It's still a friend. It's not love.

Keeping your husband for having friends is slavery. Friends can be of the 2 genders.

[strike wolf]

YOU all are being way to defensive.

Of course we're being defensive. You're coming across (intentional or not) that guys are low-down cheating scumbags. We're trying to defend ourselves instead of letting you try to trample all over us.

What else did you expect us to do Beastly?

I never said anything about guys being low-down cheating scumbags....

I am not trampling over anybody,

I didn't say you did, I said you came across that way. You kept saying that women should not let their man do this and this, and only later mentioned that you shouldn't trust women in a relationship either. Your posts originally and at many points seem to suggest that women are superior to men.

[freezie]

[quote="Beastly
I am simply stating that It is wrong for a man to seek out companionship on the internet if he has a girlfriend or wife at home...

[/quote]


And who is here to disagree? NO ONE.

Beastly, read back that story.

He was simply on cc like he alwayd had, then out of nowhere meet that friend.

He wasn't even aware she was a girl to start with!

Why do you keep saying it's bad.


We're nto speaking about cheating boyfriends, we're speaking of FRIENDSHIP.

[wicked]

Beastly, I'm friends with many guys here on the internet, many of whom are married (whether they happen to mention that or not!). It's quite possible to be friendly with people online and heck even meet them for coffee if you happen to be passing through. If someone is that insecure in their relationship, then that's their problem. Learn to trust, or you'll live a paranoid life, and what fun is that?

It is quite possible for guys and girls to be friends w/o it being sexual in nature. I work in a male-dominated field and have many guy friends as well. I just spent tonite talking to a kayak buddy about his GF problems.... telling him he's an idiot... lol.

[Beastly]

umm.. I am talking about the situation at hand!

The guy asks for help... says he met a gal online, is attracted to her, then secretly went to meet her, knowing he is in a relationship with a live in girlfriend.

That is the subject.

[muy_thaiguy]

Beastly, I'm friends with many guys here on the internet, many of whom are married (whether they happen to mention that or not!). It's quite possible to be friendly with people online and heck even meet them for coffee if you happen to be passing through. If someone is that insecure in their relationship, then that's their problem. Learn to trust, or you'll live a paranoid life, and what fun is that?

AAAAAAAAAAAH! Female version of XTRA!

[freezie]

umm.. I am talking about the situation at hand!

The guy asks for help... says he met a gal online, is attracted to her, then secretly went to meet her, knowing he is in a relationship with a live in girlfriend.

That is the subject.

Wrong.

His girlfriend know, and it's the last time I am saying it.

And that's what I told pages ago, he shouldn't leave his current girlfriend.

And as far as I know he said, he tried to hook her up with another guy.

SO he is planning to stay at the friendship level, which I deeply recomand.

[muy_thaiguy]

Further more, If you want to read your other posts...


And having coffee with someone is clearly different than having a ongoing relationship and companionship with someone. I have said that over and over again....

Realtionship?! What the hell do you think friendship IS!? It IS a relationship between people! How hard is it to understand that?! Who else would you have coffee with? A complete stranger? Geez!

[Skoffin]

umm.. I am talking about the situation at hand!

And it's been pointed out multiple times that we have not been discussing this particular circumstance. We were discussing something else and you kept replying, therefore you are to blame.

[Beastly]

Further more, If you want to read your other posts...


And having coffee with someone is clearly different than having a ongoing relationship and companionship with someone. I have said that over and over again....

Realtionship?! What the hell do you think friendship IS!? It IS a relationship between people! How hard is it to understand that?! Who else would you have coffee with? A complete stranger? Geez!

There are different kinds of relationships with different boundaries.

Friendships are fine, again, if you are dating.

But when you are living with someone and seeing them Exclusively, It may cause problems in your relationship if you seek friendships from other women. I don't want my man spending time with other women ALONE again I say it. I think it's inappropriate, ya to stop and have coffee, or conversation. But to be best buddies, and its a different story if you hook up with someone who already is tight with the friends they have. But if my man decided he going to try to find companionship with another woman, then he can go to hell, cause I can find someone who won't do that.

I would feel very uncomfortable having a women start calling to talk to my husband.

that's me....

My feelings are valid, and it's not a control issue. IT's called respect for your partner.

[Beastly]

umm.. I am talking about the situation at hand!

And it's been pointed out multiple times that we have not been discussing this particular circumstance. We were discussing something else and you kept replying, therefore you are to blame.

To Blame? for what? what the hell are you talking to me about? And what were you discussing? wow...

[Kal]

there is a place called flame wars where if you have a problem and want to put somebody down you can go there.

NOT HERE!

I know you are new here, and that is why I am telling you this. If you can't contain yourself when angered you shouldn't post here.

Go to flame wars, I dare you! go and put me down there, I will whip you into being my bitch, and I will show what it means to be owned fool!

My Man is on a leash, and he likes it. He wants me to keep him in line.

What the f*ck is wrong with you for doing that and him for liking it?

What is wrong with a man wanting to please his woman, and keeping her happy and having a healthy, respectful relationship?

For someone who doesn't want a flame war, you sure are a loud-mouthed instigator. GTFO!

[Kal]

... nor had an actual father figure. I have been raised by my mother and my grandmother all my life. .

Really? Me too.

[Iliad]

Further more, If you want to read your other posts...


And having coffee with someone is clearly different than having a ongoing relationship and companionship with someone. I have said that over and over again....

Realtionship?! What the hell do you think friendship IS!? It IS a relationship between people! How hard is it to understand that?! Who else would you have coffee with? A complete stranger? Geez!

There are different kinds of relationships with different boundaries.

Friendships are fine, again, if you are dating.

But when you are living with someone and seeing them Exclusively, It may cause problems in your relationship if you seek friendships from other women. I don't want my man spending time with other women ALONE again I say it. I think it's inappropriate, ya to stop and have coffee, or conversation. But to be best buddies, and its a different story if you hook up with someone who already is tight with the friends they have. But if my man decided he going to try to find companionship with another woman, then he can go to hell, cause I can find someone who won't do that.

I would feel very uncomfortable having a women start calling to talk to my husband.

that's me....

My feelings are valid, and it's not a control issue. IT's called respect for your partner.

Why are you so paranoid? Friends can be of both genders. If you can't let your husband have friends of the female gender then you are paranoid.

[static_ice]

Further more, If you want to read your other posts...


And having coffee with someone is clearly different than having a ongoing relationship and companionship with someone. I have said that over and over again....

Realtionship?! What the hell do you think friendship IS!? It IS a relationship between people! How hard is it to understand that?! Who else would you have coffee with? A complete stranger? Geez!

There are different kinds of relationships with different boundaries.

Friendships are fine, again, if you are dating.

But when you are living with someone and seeing them Exclusively, It may cause problems in your relationship if you seek friendships from other women. I don't want my man spending time with other women ALONE again I say it. I think it's inappropriate, ya to stop and have coffee, or conversation. But to be best buddies, and its a different story if you hook up with someone who already is tight with the friends they have. But if my man decided he going to try to find companionship with another woman, then he can go to hell, cause I can find someone who won't do that.

I would feel very uncomfortable having a women start calling to talk to my husband.

that's me....

My feelings are valid, and it's not a control issue. IT's called respect for your partner.

you're contradicting yourself. If you respect your partner then why do you not allow him the simple freedom of friendship? Even worse, if you respect him how do you think he feels when he meets another woman and she asks to get some coffee (alone) and he has to say "no my wife won't allow it".

But I'm not going to play this charade you've been playing for the last 10 pages with everyone else, I'm going to flat out explain every little detail to make the most sense possible (without taking too much space)

You see, when you mistrust someone, its because you believe them to be too immature to trust. Because an immature man will (try to) be unfaithful when he's alone in a room with the opposite sex, where as a real mature man will always be faithful, even in a fucking strip club.

So point number two: you are deeming your husband too immature to trust. Do you think that is respecting him? Its like the way you think s.xkitten (and probably me) are, you think we're immature, and you put us below you, because you're obviously wiser than any of us. Its also the way I'm treating you, too immature to understand a basic statement so I have to break it down into multiple paragraphs. Are you respecting us? Am I respecting you? Not really.

So basically, if you mistrust your husband, you think he's too immature (or desperate, but that's a different story) to trust, and therefore you do not respect him.