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KoolBak wrote:Inductive logic. Sweet.
mrswdk wrote:The cajones on this dude, who’s prepared to start ringing up cousins he hasn’t seen in time and asking if he can occupy their living room with all his boxes and suitcases indefinitely.
Also, looks like Jim doesn’t realise that sleeping on someone else’s sofa is one form of homelessness.
jimboston wrote:
I’m not talking about a guy (or gal) sleeping in his/her car for a night or two.
I’m not talking about a woman fleeing with her kids from an abusive guy and living in a shelter for a few months.
I’m talking about sustained and/or repeated homelessness. A guy (or gal) on the streets, who even with the help of government support systems can’ t get himself (herself) into a long-term sustainable situation.
jimboston wrote:You guys should all read what I wrote before you try to tell me i’m insensitive or clueless or snobby.
Dukasaur wrote:jimboston wrote:You guys should all read what I wrote before you try to tell me i’m insensitive or clueless or snobby.
Let's start over.
I know you're not a bad guy. But I think you've always landed on your feet and you just don't get how some people don't.
Since our common denominator is that we're on Conquer Club, let me use Conquer Club as a teaching tool. I'm sure you've noticed that when people win, they're always sure to discuss their winning strategy, but when people lose, the first thing they mention is their shitty dice. Real life is a lot like that. People who end up on top tend to give themselves credit for their brilliant thinking and their hard work, and they overlook all the luck and all the random factors that broke in their favour. People who end up on the bottom tend to have the opposite type of myopia. They talk about their rotton luck and the ways they've gotten screwed along the way and tend to downplay the things they've done wrong.
Dukasaur wrote:
Everybody would like to be Bill Gates. And yes, if you want to be Bill Gates, it takes some smart ideas and some really hard work. I won't deny that Bill was a brilliant programmer, or that he was a dedicated entrepreneur who worked 20-hour days and slept on the floor of his office so he didn't have to waste time going home. But you can't discount how critical it was that his mother was friends with the president of IBM, who wrote Bill that sweetheart contract that launched him into the big time. Without that, all that brilliance and all that hard work might have been worth nothing. He might have cranked out a brilliant piece of software, got crushed by competitors with deeper pockets and more staying power, and ended up a total nobody.
Dukasaur wrote:
I won't deny that people on the bottom have probably made some stupid decisions. But we've all made some stupid decisions. Some of us have bounced back and others haven't.
Dukasaur wrote:
My rock-bottom year was end of '82, start of '83. I dropped out of university in the spring of '82. I was depressed. The girl I was desperately in love with decided that someone else's cock was tastier than mine. I had mononucleosis. It was 1982, a recession year. The unemployment rate was 14%. Couldn't get a job. I ran out of money; my hydro got disconnected. My neighbour ran extension cords to my house so I could keep running my fridge, but after a few weeks and no sign of my getting a job, he got tired of supporting me and cut the power. All my food went rotten. I was evicted on June 30th.
The rest of that year had some interesting stories, but I won't bore you with them. You can kind of imagine. A depressed university dropout recovering from mono, looking for a job in a year with a 14% unemployment rate. Needless to say, I got sucked into a lot of commission-only jobs that don't pay much. My car got repossessed. I was evicted from two more places by the end of the year, and then one more in January of '83. Needless to say, I couldn't afford a moving van, so in the first two moves my collection of worldly goods shrank down to what I could jam into my car. In the third move I didn't have a car any more, so my goods shrank down to what I could carry. In the fourth move, I didn't even bother carrying anything; just walked out into the snow bare-handed.
I walked downtown. I'd been eating crap for months; I was malnourished and cold and tired. It got dark but there were bright lights coming from the movie theatre. They were showing First Blood, and I'd seen the promos for it. I desperately wanted to see it, but of course I had no money for a ticket, so I just sat down in a snowbank and looked at a promo poster. Closest I could get to watching the movie. And that's where I fell asleep, sitting in a snowbank, dreaming about watching First Blood, just too tired to walk anywhere else and really having no place to go.
It was that close. By morning I could have been a statistic, except that in the middle of the night Smokey, a kid I'd known in high school, came staggering home from a party somewhere. "Duke, what the f*ck are you doing? You can't sleep in a snowbank!" He was at the University of Waterloo, and when he saw me he assumed I was just like him, a drunken university student going home from a party somewhere. He dragged me out of the snowbank, took me to his house, fed me some Kraft dinner.
The next day we had a meeting with his roommates. He tried to sell the idea that I'd move in with them, but the vote was against it. For many reasons. Their tenancy agreement specified four occupants, not five. They were all honours students and a depressed dropout didn't seem like a good fit. But one of them suggested that I should go to the Salvation Army men's hostel. Which I did, and started on the road to a recovery of sorts. There have been some bad times here and there, but I've never gotten that far down again.
You may say that's an obvious idea; that I should have just gone to the Sally Anne in the first place. Which I suppose is true, but the idea never entered my head. One of the things about depression is that it narrows your world. At a time when you need to be brainstorming and looking for new options, the only things that come into your mind are the old options that have already failed. I really had tried hard to get a job, but the only places that were hiring didn't pay. I knew I was tired of sponging off my friends. I just didn't know where to go and I didn't have the energy to go there.
I wasn't consciously thinking about suicide when I sat down in a snowbank. I really though I'd just rest for a bit and then make a new plan. But if Smokey hadn't damn-near tripped over me on his way home that night, there would have been no more plans for me.
jimboston wrote:I don’t know if there were other bad decisions leading up to the drop-out... I mean getting to a place where you’re dropping out requires some bad decisions no? You didn’t mention parents or other family... I know not everyone is blessed with supporting parents, but assuming you had some not using that support network is another bad decision.
jimboston wrote:I think you just proved my point.
jimboston wrote:mrswdk wrote:jimboston wrote:On not every has a large network of support... but failure to develop and cultivate a large support network is a BAD DECISION.
Those stupid idiots who don't just go out and make 50 friends who'd let them sleep on their sofa.
I’m older (as has been noted, technically not a Boomer... though some have called me that).
Dukasaur wrote: That was the night I broke into St. Mike's Cathedral and shat on the Archibishop's desk
jimboston wrote:Sounds like you used the government support system and started making good decisions and bounced back.
Dukasaur wrote:My parents were a big part of the reason I ended up where I did. From earliest childhood they never missed an opportunity to remind me that I was a worthless piece of shit who would never amount to anything. That kind of day-in day-out ego crushing tends to pay off and become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Dukasaur wrote:
Maybe objectively it was, but I didn't see it that way. I think I would have rather accepted death than to slink back home and admit that yes, they were right all along, I really was a worthless piece of shit and hadn't amounted to anything.
Dukasaur wrote:jimboston wrote:I think you just proved my point.
Yeah, I get your point.
You've worked hard and you've earned every square inch of your nice hardwood floor, and nobody is going to tell you otherwise.
Dukasaur wrote:
Everybody who lives in pain and despair made the decisions that brought them there, and they deserve everything they got coming.
Dukasaur wrote:
I don't know why I thought your were more open-minded than the typical right-winger. Pure wishful thinking, I guess.
mrswdk wrote:jimboston wrote:Sounds like you used the government support system and started making good decisions and bounced back.
Of course if it was up to you that government support system wouldn't have existed in the first place.
mookiemcgee wrote:jimboston wrote:mrswdk wrote:jimboston wrote:On not every has a large network of support... but failure to develop and cultivate a large support network is a BAD DECISION.
Those stupid idiots who don't just go out and make 50 friends who'd let them sleep on their sofa.
I’m older (as has been noted, technically not a Boomer... though some have called me that).
OK BOOMER
jimboston wrote:mrswdk wrote:jimboston wrote:Sounds like you used the government support system and started making good decisions and bounced back.
Of course if it was up to you that government support system wouldn't have existed in the first place.
Really?
Where did I ever say that?
I think there’s a lot of abuse in the system. I’ve seen it firsthand... though obviously my experience is limited and so I’m jaded and recognize that I may be overstating the abuse. I never said we shouldn’t have any support system.
Please find where I’ve said this.... either that or apologize for putting words in my mouth.
mrswdk wrote:jimboston wrote:mrswdk wrote:jimboston wrote:Sounds like you used the government support system and started making good decisions and bounced back.
Of course if it was up to you that government support system wouldn't have existed in the first place.
Really?
Where did I ever say that?
I think there’s a lot of abuse in the system. I’ve seen it firsthand... though obviously my experience is limited and so I’m jaded and recognize that I may be overstating the abuse. I never said we shouldn’t have any support system.
Please find where I’ve said this.... either that or apologize for putting words in my mouth.
So now Mr Anarchist, who is so mistrustful of 'government' that he's not even okay with having a government step in to curfew people during the COVID-19 pandemic or provide fire fighters to stop people's houses burning down, supports the existence of a government-run support infrastructure for rough sleepers.
I like the little non-specific bit of hearsay about abuse of the system that you couldn't help throwing in. That's probably why they need the government involved in their lives, right? Too darn untrustworthy to be left to their own devices.
jimboston wrote:Nope... that’s not my point either.
The point is... that there are A LOT of support systems/mechanisms in this country. (Another qualifier... I’m mostly talking about the USA. My comments may apply to other Western countries too, but I recognize that not all countries have the support mechanisms that we have here.)
jimboston wrote:Given that... it takes a series of bad decisions over a lifetime to become truly homeless.
2dimes wrote:Kraft Dinner? Empty carbs! Let's put that one under "Yellow" in the drug scheduling, ok?
2dimes wrote:2dimes wrote:Kraft Dinner? Empty carbs! Let's put that one under "Yellow" in the drug scheduling, ok?
Nothing huh?
jimboston wrote:You were too proud to ask for help from your parents.
jimboston wrote:The guy with the TV shop... I’m guessing that’s the guy whose business partner and wife cheated on him?
How did he lose his business and his house?
If he sued for divorce he’d get at least half... more than half in most cases due to cause.
Obviously they could lie about it... but even without cause he still owns half the business... they gotta buy him out.
There are more details to the story I’m sure.
jimboston wrote:You’re missing my point.. about being homeless for a sustained period.
mrswdk wrote:I like how in this thread jim is teaching Duk about his own life. That has got to be the definition of confirmation bias.
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