David Hasslehoff or Chuck Norris?

[alex_white101]

who is better? i had to go with david hasslehoff, legend!

here are some of those lines that go with him......

1) When David Hasselhoff goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

2) David Hasselhoff can count backwards from infinity.

3)On his birthday, David Hasselhoff randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.

and finally

4)There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures David Hasselhoff allows to live.

whos got some good ones?

[dustn64]

Jesus walked on water... Chuck Norris swam through land.

[Gold Knight]

Chuck Norris once had an erection in a crowded building...

There were no survivors

[ritz627]

Chuck Norris no question:

-Chuck Norris went around the world in 80 days. On a Llama.

-Chuck Norris beat God at 14 straight games of chess, each time only moving one piece. Said God afterwards, "I just don't get how he does it!".

-Chuck Norris invented legos.

-The original name of Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs. Chuck Norris, but no one wanted to see a movie that only last 14 seconds.

-When Chuch Norris is online, try to appear offline.

-The phrase "balls on a wall" was originally concieved to describe Chuck Norris entering any building smaller than an aircraft hangar.

-When Arnold said the line, "I'll be back" in the first terminator movie, he was implying that he was going to ask Chuch Norris for help.

And at the risk of making myself look any worse, I'm going to stop with these Chuck Norris jokes. But these are my favorites...I went through a phase...

[hecter]

Don't Hassle the Hoff!

[unriggable]

Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but Death doesn't have the courage to tell him.

[I GOT SERVED]

A man once insulted Chuck Norris which forced him to roundhouse kick him so hard he broke the sound barrier and hit a big blimp, this blimp is no known as the Hindenburg

Onions do not make Chuck Norris cry. Chuck Norris makes onions shit themselves

Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

Chuck Norris once beat Super Mario Bros 3 without even touching his Nintendo controller. He just yelled at his TV in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich, and the game beat itself out of fear.

It takes 14 muscles to make Chuck Norris, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage.

The popular video game "Doom" is based loosely around the time Satan borrowed two bucks from Chuck Norris and forgot to pay him back.

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, saying Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.

Children are afraid of the dark. Dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris lost two arm wrestling contests in his life. One was to the planet Jupiter, and the other was a two hour battle with his own umbilical chord.

[Huckleberryhound]

Chuck Norris let the dogs out.

Chuck Norris fought the law and won.


The boogie man lies awake at night scared that Chuck Norris is hiding in the cupboard.

[reverend_kyle]

1. Mr T.
2. Vin Diesel
3. David Hasselhoff
4. Reverend Kyle
5. Everyone Else
6. Chuck Norris


any questions?

[alex_white101]

1. Mr T.
2. Vin Diesel
3. David Hasselhoff
4. Reverend Kyle
5. Everyone Else
6. Chuck Norris


any questions?

vin diesel? how gay are you?

[reverend_kyle]

1. Mr T.
2. Vin Diesel
3. David Hasselhoff
4. Reverend Kyle
5. Everyone Else
6. Chuck Norris


any questions?

vin diesel? how gay are you?

He's so hot when he looks at the sun it melts.

[alex_white101]

He's so hot when he looks at the sun it melts.

that answers my question, u r very gay!

[reverend_kyle]

He's so hot when he looks at the sun it melts.

that answers my question, u r very gay!

The very very original random fact generator was about vin diesel. I learned to appreciate him by reading those funny facts. They added one about Chuck Norris which was really them responding to all the "are you gay?" mail and then they added a Mr. T one, but I appreciate Vin Diesel because he's the original. Chuck Norris also is very very unoriginal. It's basically the same facts different names.

[Huckleberryhound]

He's so hot when he looks at the sun it melts.

that answers my question, u r very gay!

The very very original random fact generator was about vin diesel. I learned to appreciate him by reading those funny facts. They added one about Chuck Norris which was really them responding to all the "are you gay?" mail and then they added a Mr. T one, but I appreciate Vin Diesel because he's the original. Chuck Norris also is very very unoriginal. It's basically the same facts different names.

Vin Deisel is original, and Chuck Norris isn't ???

I suppose the world started in 1992

Chuck Norris broke the mould.

[reverend_kyle]

The original random fact generator was for Vin Diesel.


He's not the original actor.

[diddle]

David Hasslehoff is now in advertising........oh dear god

[MeDeFe]

I thought he was in jail.

[Nickbaldwin]

Or rehab

[Huckleberryhound]

Or rehab

They tried to make him go to rehab, but he said
"no no no"

[unriggable]

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

[Nickbaldwin]

Or rehab

They tried to make him go to rehab, but he said
"no no no"

Amy Winehouse should be shot for crimes against humanity.

[Huckleberryhound]

Or rehab

They tried to make him go to rehab, but he said
"no no no"

Amy Winehouse should be shot for crimes against humanity.

And not because she is an ugly dog

[johnnyrotten]

who is better? i had to go with david hasslehoff, legend!

here are some of those lines that go with him......

1) When David Hasselhoff goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

2) David Hasselhoff can count backwards from infinity.

3)On his birthday, David Hasselhoff randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.

and finally

4)There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures David Hasselhoff allows to live.

whos got some good ones?

They are all Chuck Norris jokes.

[eagle_1]

it actually took God 6 days to create the world, the first day was spent asking chuck for his approval

in the beginning there was nothing, than chuck created himself out of nothing and created god rested for 6 days

[parno4u]

chuck norris once set the land speed record on a bike with a missing chain and back tire.

chuck norris dosen't turn the lights on he turns the dark off.

when chuck norris does a push up he dosen't push himself up he pushes the world down.

ckuck norris can drown a fish.

ckuck norris can kick a man in the back of the face.

chuck norris counted to infinity.....twice.

i know more but it is to much writing.