Pathetic jokes

by **diddle** on Mon Jun 04, 2007 11:57 am

There is a blonde, a brunette and a redhead stranded on a desert island. The brunette finds a magic lamp, and out pops a genie, prepared to grant them all a wish each. The brunette says " I wish i was back at home with my family and friends" And she gets wizzed off the island and returned home. "I like the sound of that, I wish I was back at home with my family and friends" And the redhead get wizzed home. So the blonde says " I'm a bit lonely here now, i wish my two friends were back"

by **DirtyDishSoap** on Mon Jun 04, 2007 12:01 pm

What do you get when you put a baby in a blender? :lol:

by **Norse** on Mon Jun 04, 2007 12:09 pm

A locked thread?

by **DirtyDishSoap** on Mon Jun 04, 2007 12:28 pm

Still pissed about Horrible jokes being blocked...

by **Norse** on Mon Jun 04, 2007 12:31 pm

What is the difference between joke thread blocking mods and a bucket of piss?

j/k dont hurt me

by **DirtyDishSoap** on Mon Jun 04, 2007 12:34 pm

The Bucket?!

by **Norse** on Mon Jun 04, 2007 12:42 pm

10 points to DDS

by **MeDeFe** on Mon Jun 04, 2007 3:58 pm

Here's a classic:

What's red and green and goes round round round.

A frog in a blender.

by **Norse** on Mon Jun 04, 2007 4:02 pm

Did you hear that they have released viagra in 'eye-drop' form?

It doesn't give you a stiffy, but makes you look hard

by **Bouncer** on Tue Jun 05, 2007 1:00 pm

whats the difference between a good conquer club team player
and a lousy molotov cocktail bomber?

one shares his armies
and the other arms his sherries

groan.........

by **Norse** on Tue Jun 05, 2007 1:12 pm

(throws flaming bottle of 'pinot grigio' at bouncer)

by **Minister Masket** on Wed Jun 13, 2007 1:49 pm

Time to revive this thread.
Here's a good one:

What does a pirate drive?
A caaarrrrrrrrrrrr! :lol:

by **Norse** on Wed Jun 13, 2007 2:22 pm

Minister Masket wrote:Time to revive this thread.
Here's a good one:

What does a pirate drive?
A caaarrrrrrrrrrrr!

lol

what is a pirates fave band?

the arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrctic monkeys.

by **firth4eva** on Wed Jun 13, 2007 2:44 pm

whats the difference between a taxi driver and portsmouths goalkeeper?

a taxi only lets in 5

by **Gold Knight** on Wed Jun 13, 2007 2:53 pm

Whats the difference between Gandhi and Spamalot?

People were sad when Gandhi was gone :lol:

by **Jmey** on Wed Jun 13, 2007 3:59 pm

Rules of bedroom golf
1. Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play, normally one club and two balls.

2. Play on the course must be approved by the owner of the hole.

3. Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and keep the balls out of the hole.

4. The object of the game is to take as many strokes as are necessary until the course owner is satisfied that play is complete. Failure to do so may result in being denied permission to play the hole again.

5. It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately upon arrival at the course. The experienced player will take time to admire the entire course, with special attention to well formed bunkers.

6. Players are encouraged to bring appropriate rain gear.

7. Players are advised to obtain the course owners permission before attempting to play the back nine.

8. Slow play is encouraged, however players should be prepared to play at a faster pace at the request of the course owner.

9. It is considered outstanding performance to play the same hole several times in one match, time permitting.

i know... its awefull :lol:

by **Norse** on Wed Jun 13, 2007 4:01 pm

firth4eva wrote:whats the difference between a taxi driver and portsmouths goalkeeper?

a taxi only lets in 5

CREEPY STORY

The other day, I was in manchester international airport, whereI saw a tall middle-eastern man leave his suitcase behind. I quickly ran up to the suitcase, and took a quick peak inside....It was totally full with cash!

But, knowing I was on camera in the airport, I ran after the arab guy and handed him the suitcase.

he then said to me:-

"your honesty and integrity can never be thanked enough. But as a token of my appreciation, let me give you this advice.....DON'T GO TO WARRINGTON"

I began to become extremely agitated and curious, I replied to him: -

"Why? Is there going to be a terrorist attack?"

And he replied : -

"NO, It's a shit-hole"

by **Jmey** on Wed Jun 13, 2007 4:07 pm

If a turtle doesnt have a shell, is it naked or homeless ?

What is invisable and smells like carrots?
Rabbit farts.

What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud

Once upon a time there were two muffins in the microwave. Suddenly, one of the muffins says:
"Man it's hot in here!!!!"
The other muffin exclaims,
"Look! a talking muffin!!!"

by **Norse** on Wed Jun 13, 2007 4:24 pm

Liking it, these are truely pathetic

by **dustn64** on Wed Jun 13, 2007 4:56 pm

Norse wrote:
Minister Masket wrote:Time to revive this thread.
Here's a good one:

What does a pirate drive?
A caaarrrrrrrrrrrr!

lol

what is a pirates fave band?

the arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrctic monkeys.

A pirate is walking down the street with a steering wheel in his pants. A man runs up to him and asks him whats up with that.
The pirate replys "I don't know but it is driving me nuts"

by **Skittles!** on Thu Jun 14, 2007 2:31 am

Jmey wrote:Rules of bedroom golf
1. Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play, normally one club and two balls.

2. Play on the course must be approved by the owner of the hole.

3. Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and keep the balls out of the hole.

4. The object of the game is to take as many strokes as are necessary until the course owner is satisfied that play is complete. Failure to do so may result in being denied permission to play the hole again.

5. It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately upon arrival at the course. The experienced player will take time to admire the entire course, with special attention to well formed bunkers.

6. Players are encouraged to bring appropriate rain gear.

7. Players are advised to obtain the course owners permission before attempting to play the back nine.

8. Slow play is encouraged, however players should be prepared to play at a faster pace at the request of the course owner.

9. It is considered outstanding performance to play the same hole several times in one match, time permitting.

i know... its awefull