[lackattack via teleconference]
"Good afternoon team cc-- Did Masli come in today, or what? I'm starting to not like what's he's doing to me. He's not on time, you know his hairs never combed. His deodorants all funny, he's not dressed properly. Always wearing jeans when this is a company where you wear suits, look neat and come in with your briefcases. Latest numbers say we're taking cutbacks... somebodies gotta get dropped...
So the mods don't like their jobs?? Well f*ck 'em! I hire and fire, I'll write you a check on the spot! Oh, you're having trouble keeping motivated?? Your coats at the door, good day sir!
...I'm making capitol investments into space programing aeronautics, my closest friends are all Wall Street Journal analysts, I wear immaculate Fitzgerald Mini Herringbone 1818 pinstripe suits with my shirt and tie's by Gianni Manzonni accompanied by my newest pair of designer Oxfords. This year I take two trips to Costa Rica, it'll be a week back before I can clean house. Then I can sign new acts, their budget's will be low and if they can't trim the fat they'll be fired. Andydufresne?, I'll need you to fax this to red China, do this now...
king achilles, you'll be going down to 55 Water Street to meet some top officials from DOW chemical, Wells Fargo and Bank of America with my fine secretary Erykah. Don't worry you'll be picked up again by the ASR Rolls Royce. Remember, we're never buying from Aston Martin again, no fucking ashtrays eh? Well you can kiss my ass! clapper011 and I are going to talk about real estate in desolate Compton. We have a loan from General Mills, "Box Top's For Emandation". I'd like to start up a new NBA team so today we're discussing it's name with NBA Commissioner David Stern. I'd like to call them, The Overzealous Spacemen. I'm thinkin-- Lime green uniforms with bright orange basketball logos...
As for the rest of you, when I get back, at that point you'll all be expendable because I only have 4 tickets to the Grammy Awards anyways. We'll be having pasta that night possibly with our scouts and their proposed new roster to be haled our new, "Mods with Bods"! Now if you value your job and want to make the cut, get back to work and don't flirt!
...eye84free, have your secretary Nancy call us a limo, Nancy always makes it fancy, and I'm in a rush. No time for coffee tell her, I've a 3 o-clock brunch and then I'll be right back to talk with you(you've been really jerkin' off lately and it's going to stop). AND REMEMBER!! Angelina Jolie, Madonna and Tom Hanks are meeting with everyone from team cc today at 4:15pm sharp. They're going to endorse our smiley face campaign while we sell a lot of premiums, Mercedes Benz's and BMW's to the small starving neighboring communities...
And squishyg, keep your blinking eyes off of my ass! You're so not, my Kardashian!!"
