Life a of peasent. A game of life.

[sheepofdumb]

I'll give you 20 gold.

[sheepofdumb]

I tax 15 gold.

[Iliad]

So I got 6 gold ,then got taxed that much, how much money do I start with?
Anyway new joke(please give me money fro this adn the other joke!)
These are supposedly actual quotes taken from around the world.

"The effects are fleeting and lingering..." - Overheard in a hallway

"In Managua, people are cheering in the streets, which are deserted." - CBS reporter during the solar eclipse

"A trucker called to thank all of the courteous Seattle drivers he had run across." - Announcer on KZOK radio

"He threw 110 pitches in six innings, and that's a mouthful!" - CBS baseball announcer

"An agreement is not an agreement until the parties to the agreement have reached an agreement." - Irish Politician on RTE radio

"This is the biggest pawn that Israel holds in the whole hostage equation." - BBC world service.

"We have two incredibly credible witnesses here." - Sen. Biden at Thomas hearings from Bob Ericson (Marlboro, MA, USA)

"He's going to step down 'til he's back on his feet." - Vermont Public Radio commentator on Jimmy Swaggart's latest sex scandal

[ranck3]

100 i said.

[Iliad]

Thanks

[ranck3]

Wasnt AS funny... ill give ya 5 gold...

[ranck3]

Anyone wanna buy in wood items? name it ill try and make it.

[Iliad]

I buy a small house: -30 gold from me

[ranck3]

Ight

[ranck3]

I buy big house.

[Iliad]

It was the final examination for an introductory Biology course at the local university. Like many such freshman courses, it was designed to weed out new students, having over 500 students in the class!

The examination was two hours long, and exam booklets were provided. The professor was very strict and told the class that any exam that was not on his desk in exactly two hours would not be accepted and the student would fail. Half of an hour into the exam, a student came rushing in and asked the professor for an exam booklet.

"You're not going to have time to finish this," the professor stated sarcastically as he handed the student a booklet.

"Yes I will," replied the student. He then took a seat and began writing. After two hours, the professor called for the exams, and the students filed up and handed them in. All except the late student, who continued writing. An hour later, the last student came up to the professor who was sitting at his desk preparing for his next class. He attempted to put his exam on the stack of exam booklets already there.

"No you don't, I'm not going to accept that. It's late."

The student looked incredulous and angry.

"Do you know who I am?"

"No, as a matter of fact I don't," replied the professor with an air of sarcasm in his voice.

"Do you know who I am?" the student asked again in a louder voice.

"No, and I don't care." replied the professor with an air of superiority.

"Good," replied the student, who quickly lifted the stack of completed exams, stuffed his in the middle, and walked out of the room.

If you guys want a specific type of joke tell me.

[ranck3]

i didnt relly think that was TOO funny...

Yes... i like chuck norris jokes

[ranck3]

Ranck's Char falls asleep.

[Iliad]

How about this joke(a little crude)
There was this girl who attended Sunday class. One day she kept on falling asleep because she couldn't sleep last night.
The teacher asked the class:
"Who created the universe and everything?"
A boy who sat behind the girl jabbed her with a stick.
The girl cried out "God!"
The teacher said: "yes that's correct, well done," and the girl fell asleep again.
Then the teacher asked another question
"Who was the son of god?"
the boy jabbed her again. The girl cried out "Jesus!" And the teacher said "well done that's correct"
After a while the teacher asked another question:
"What did eve say to Adam when she had her 21st boy?"
The boy jabbed her again. The girl this time turned around to the boy and said: "I swear if you put that thing in me one more time, I'll grab and break it in half!!"

[Iliad]

These are from actual resumes:

"Personal: I'm married with 9 children. I don't require prescription drugs.

"I am extremely loyal to my present firm, so please don't let them know of my immediate availability."

"Qualifications: I am a man filled with passion and integrity, and I can act on short notice. I'm a class act and do not come cheap."

"I intentionally omitted my salary history. I've made money and lost money. I've been rich and I've been poor. I prefer being rich."

"Note: Please don't misconstrue my 14 jobs as 'job-hopping'. I have never quit a job."

"Number of dependents: 40."

"Marital Status: Often. Children: Various."

RESUME BLOOPERS

"Here are my qualifications for you to overlook."

REASONS FOR LEAVING THE LAST JOB:

"Responsibility makes me nervous."

"They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 every morning. Couldn't work under those conditions."

REASONS FOR LEAVING MY LAST JOB:

"Was met with a string of broken promises and lies, as well as cockroaches."

"I was working for my mom until she decided to move."

"The company made me a scapegoat - just like my three previous employers."

JOB RESPONSIBILITIES:

"While I am open to the initial nature of an assignment, I am decidedly disposed that it be so oriented as to at least partially incorporate the experience enjoyed heretofore and that it be configured so as to ultimately lead to the application of more rarefied facets of financial management as the major sphere of responsibility."

"I was proud to win the Gregg Typting Award."

SPECIAL REQUESTS & JOB OBJECTIVES:

"Please call me after 5:30 because I am self-employed and my employer does not know I am looking for another job."

"My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I have no training in meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage."

"I procrastinate - especially when the task is unpleasant."

PHYSICAL DISABILITIES:

"Minor allergies to house cats and Mongolian sheep."

PERSONAL INTERESTS:

"Donating blood. 14 gallons so far."

SMALL TYPOS THAT CAN CHANGE THE MEANING:

"Education: College, August 1880-May 1984."

"Work Experience: Dealing with customers' conflicts that arouse."

"Develop and recommend an annual operating expense fudget."

"I'm a rabid typist."

"Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain operation."

[jeffonfire]

I smelt the iron and coal to make 20 steel. I mine 2 clay. Then i mix the clay with water and make a stove in my home.

Selling most of the stuff i have!!!! i will pay for all kinds of food.

Rank3 you need a knife to make things with the wood you chop i will sell you one for 10 gp or 2 wheat.



Gp:21
House: small-with stove
Stuff: 20 steel, 1 bread, 1 food, 2 shovel, 1 bronze long swords, 3 bronze knifes, 1 bandage, 38 bronze bars, 2 bronze daggers, unlimited hammers.
P point:3
jobs: miner/smith
Smith level=15

[jeffonfire]

wee need someone to be a store man. Its so hard to not be able to get rid of stuff!!!!

Gp:21
House: small-with stove
Stuff: 20 steel, 1 bread, 1 food, 2 shovel, 1 bronze long swords, 3 bronze knifes, 1 bandage, 38 bronze bars, 2 bronze daggers, unlimited hammers.
P point:3
jobs: miner/smith
Smith level=15

[ranck3]

if i give you a bronze long and 20 gold, will you make me a steel long?

[jnd94]

It was the final examination for an introductory Biology course at the local university. Like many such freshman courses, it was designed to weed out new students, having over 500 students in the class!

The examination was two hours long, and exam booklets were provided. The professor was very strict and told the class that any exam that was not on his desk in exactly two hours would not be accepted and the student would fail. Half of an hour into the exam, a student came rushing in and asked the professor for an exam booklet.

"You're not going to have time to finish this," the professor stated sarcastically as he handed the student a booklet.

"Yes I will," replied the student. He then took a seat and began writing. After two hours, the professor called for the exams, and the students filed up and handed them in. All except the late student, who continued writing. An hour later, the last student came up to the professor who was sitting at his desk preparing for his next class. He attempted to put his exam on the stack of exam booklets already there.

"No you don't, I'm not going to accept that. It's late."

The student looked incredulous and angry.

"Do you know who I am?"

"No, as a matter of fact I don't," replied the professor with an air of sarcasm in his voice.

"Do you know who I am?" the student asked again in a louder voice.

"No, and I don't care." replied the professor with an air of superiority.

"Good," replied the student, who quickly lifted the stack of completed exams, stuffed his in the middle, and walked out of the room.

If you guys want a specific type of joke tell me.

funny

[ranck3]

jnd, your playing... who about you do something? lol

[ranck3]

I make a Wood-Table, 4 Chairs,and a bench.

[ranck3]

I finish cutting. +30 oak logs.

[spinwizard]

i don't get it...

[ranck3]

Well if ya wanna join, you can, its vary simple once you get the hang of it... basicly just get a job get money get a good house have fun..

[jeffonfire]

OK I WILL SELL THAT TO YOU.
I make a steel long.
I sell it to you and get 20 gold and a iron long.
LISTEN YOU NEED A KNIFE TO MAKE THINGS WITH WOOD!!!!!
I will sell you one for 2 wheat.

Gp:41
House: small-with stove
Stuff: 18 steel, 1 bread, 1 food, 2 shovel, 2 bronze long swords, 3 bronze knifes, 1 bandage, 38 bronze bars, 2 bronze daggers, unlimited hammers.
P point:3
jobs: miner/smith
Smith level=15