Combat with materials #2

[Iliad]

Does anyone have any slaves left? I've just finished my entertainment and now no slaves. Care to lend me some? You can watch the slaves kill each other or I can charge you 10 slaves per one night with my bedslave

[atheistheretic]

*prepares nail gun*

*glorious battle*

*eaten by molemen*

*becomes molemen hybrid with mind of its own and goes after dito quake 4 style*

*Current empire is taken over by secret team, which gives 500 slaves to Iliad(Quite some "mole" men. muahahahaha!!!)*

[Simon Viavant]

I have captured a moleman. I have concluded from the battle a few days ago that molemens' great weakness is one of two things. The two are McDonalds food and money. They obviously had an aversion to money, which Dito stated himself, and maybe they can't stand being around money. The other is McDonalds food, because they failed to destroy my McDonalds, even though it had money. I tape coins and dollar bills to the moleman and leave him there for a day. Nothing happens. He is force fed french fries. He becomes uninvincible and sterile. I keep him around as a prisoner. I prepare thousands of bundles of french fries in the size, shape, and weight of cows. I prepare to drop them on dito's fortress. I also prepare to drop cows. I need to do one further test. I create a multi. He joins the game. I capture his diplomat. I feed him french fries, because after all, the molemens' invincibility comes from the invincible diplomat. After gorging on the McDonalds food, the diplomat becomes fat and unattractive and uncharming and has no social skills, and is therefore not a good diplomat anymore, and is not a diplomat and is therefore unvinvincible. I also create a testing machine to detect the unfaithful (non Mormons). Meanwhile my army has increased to:
unlimited generator of bricks
unlimited generator of barrels
unlimited generator of water
unlimited generator of nets
unlimited generator of hinges
unlimited generator of nails
unlimited generator of planks of wood
unlimited generator of engines
5,000,000,000xslaves
100,000,000xinvincible robot people
100xhigh priests
1xevil, sinister looking castle with new luxury complex.
1000xchain outlets of my luxury complex
25,000,000xhired goons and gestapo
1xmad scientist
1xarchitect
1xMormon purification officer
50xgiant birds of terror
100,000xcows as ammo for giant birds of terror
10,000 packages of cow shaped McDonalds food as ammo
1,000,000xarmed lizardmen
1,000,000xtree demons
1xanti-molemen magnetic field around my rortress
5xgaint aircraft that carries anti-molemen magnetic field
200xpretty slavegirls in my harem
100xinvincible submarines that have molemen vegetation technology
1xMormonism testing machine.

[viking97]

Using my hyperdrive technology I use a weak uninvincible moleman and morph it until it becomes a radioactive samurai parrot baby.(known as a weaselman).It splits in half every 3 seconds.They have built in feet with rockets and fly at the speed of light.They can also shoot depleted uranium out of their finger tips.

I now have:
2999 walking mountains
A spaceship armada
infinite weaselmen

[Ditocoaf]

a. The molemen are no longer in the game, remember? They're real now, after they got swallowed by the insane person or whatever. Look behind you. no, not now...

b. What you think you discovered is nowhere near ironic enough to be their weakness.

toodles!

[animorpherv1]

a. The molemen are no longer in the game, remember? They're real now, after they got swallowed by the insane person or whatever. Look behind you. no, not now...

b. What you think you discovered is nowhere near ironic enough to be their weakness.

toodles!

Then make up another race!

[Simon Viavant]

Using my hyperdrive technology I use a weak uninvincible moleman and morph it until it becomes a radioactive samurai parrot baby.(known as a weaselman).It splits in half every 3 seconds.They have built in feet with rockets and fly at the speed of light.They can also shoot depleted uranium out of their finger tips.

I now have:
2999 walking mountains
A spaceship armada
infinite weaselmen

Hey, I used my massive treasury and market power to buy all the mountains, remember? Now I have a monopoly on mountains.

[viking97]

Using my hyperdrive technology I use a weak uninvincible moleman and morph it until it becomes a radioactive samurai parrot baby.(known as a weaselman).It splits in half every 3 seconds.They have built in feet with rockets and fly at the speed of light.They can also shoot depleted uranium out of their finger tips.

I now have:
2999 walking mountains
A spaceship armada
infinite weaselmen

Hey, I used my massive treasury and market power to buy all the mountains, remember? Now I have a monopoly on mountains.

I didn't say my mountains were for sale.

[Simon Viavant]

I bought all mountains BEFORE you did. How did you get all your mountains? By stealing a mountain and moving it? I have a monopoly on it and once anyone discovers a new mountain I give an offer they can't resist, and if they do resist I send in my goons. I have ALL mountains.

[atheistheretic]

My secret team assasinates simon's goons, and takes half his mountains.

[Simon Viavant]

I send in my backup goons with cow support and take back my mountains and eliminate your secret team. And btw, I had 25,000,000 goons. Your secret team must be pretty good. Too bad they're dead.

[atheistheretic]

You, fortunatley did not kill my secret team, but my secret decoy.

[Dancing Mustard]

I get into my shower.

I stroke my member thoughtfully while the water washes me clean.

Suddenly I need to start the whole process again.

I am not entirely disatisfied by this result.

I stand under the running water until I am sanitary.

I exit the shower.

I now have -10000000 microbes in my stockpile.

[viking97]

My weasel men go and take my 2999 mountains back then destroy Wall street so now your monopoly on mountains is impossible

[viking97]

a. The molemen are no longer in the game, remember? They're real now, after they got swallowed by the insane person or whatever. Look behind you. no, not now...

b. What you think you discovered is nowhere near ironic enough to be their weakness.

toodles!

Then make up another race!

That new race is the Samurai parrot babies!(weasel men)

[atheistheretic]

My secret team secretly backed the wall street takeover, it uses its insider connections to buy up all genetic modification teams and makes uber strong warrior lion-men, trillions of them, who need no sustenance and partners with all molemen in a genetically engineered rein of terror.

[Simon Viavant]

The government decided I'm too important to fail and gives me a $1,000,000,000 bailout. I get all of you declared as terrorist organizations. I send in more backup goons and take my mountains back and then destroy all mountains so the only mountain left is mine. I bribe heretic's secret team and they join my side. I build a lab and create a virus against weaselmen. In a few days, they're all dead.

[atheistheretic]

My secret team is unbribable, because its me, and I already own your bailed ass.

Heck, I own the government! I was the one bailing you out.

[Neoteny]

I leave a flaming bag of poo on Dito's doorstep.

[Nikolai]

This is rapidly degrading. As God, I declare a reset to page 3. (Purely to see if anyone still remembers what was on page 3. )

[Dancing Mustard]

I melt down one of my mountains.

I build a time-machine out of the melted down mountain.

I travel this thread through time and into page 8.

It is now page 8.

I touch myself intimately and hum the Star Wars theme tune. My hand moves back and forth with the rhythmn as my pleasure gradually builds.

Ecstasy is achieved.

My pet pug needs to be washed.

I feel a curious sense of both guilt and levity.

I return to watching Jeremy Kyle on television.

[Neoteny]

I farted into Simon's mouth on page 7.