Combat with materials #2

[viking97]

Now better technology!

[viking97]

Rules are more advanced than my original one.

rules are:

#1 no automatic build up(e.g. building up tech tree by typing: build my way up technology tree by starting simple.(that kinda garbage))

#2 no selling items for money. only sell for objects allowed.if you wish to sell unlimit generator it is gone and owned by OTHER player who bought it(wich means u cant sell to urself)

#3 material provided used only

#4 fite OTHER PLAYERS not imaginary guys.

#5 no swearing

#6 minimum of 3 different materials used(more exciting gameplay)

#7ur people must be within boundries of reality

#8please focus on battle at hand

Materials u can use:

unlimit generator of bricks
unlimit generator of barrels
unlimit generator of water
unlimit generator of nets
unlimit generator of hinges
unlimit generator of nails
unlimit generator of planks of wood
unlimit generator of engines
3xmountains
100xweak* slaves(*will die in combat)
1xarchitects
1xengineers
10xunarmed unarmoured fighting men
1xinvincible diplomat(he cant fight)

[viking97]

i place my mountains in a circle so there is a hole in the middle.
i then fill with u.g. (unlimit genorator) of water so now there is a lake in hole.
architect designs brick wall with towers around the mountains
slaves build it
fighting men(f.m.) use barrels and roll them down if u come too close
i use more barrels to use as floatation device for my floating wooden palace made by slaves
i attempt to ally with the next guy to quote(im inviting u into my mountain lake)
slaves build houses with brick
final action:slaves put nets connecting from top of each mountain to catch aircraft that are made by idiots thinking they can build air craft from these useless materiels

[e_i_pi]

I build mountains
I tell my slaves to go to the mountains and find monkeys
I tell my slaves to have sex with the monkeys
The slaves contract the Ebola virus
The slaves have sex with Invincible Diplomat
Invincible Diplomat contracts the Ebola virus
Invincible Diplomat visits your country
Invincible Diplomat has sex with your entire population
You die

[animorpherv1]

unlimit generator of bricks
unlimit generator of barrels
unlimit generator of water
unlimit generator of nets
unlimit generator of hinges
unlimit generator of nails
unlimit generator of planks of wood
unlimit generator of engines
3xmountains
100xweak* slaves(*will die in combat)
1xarchitects
1xengineers
10xunarmed unarmoured fighting men
1xinvincible diplomat(he cant fight)


I make my slaves and my engineer build a castle out of bricks that my architect designed. I then tell my slaves to make lots of planes w/ the wood. I then supply water and flood the whole world, other than my waterproof castle. I make my firghting men learn to swim, they then swim up to viking's castle and surround it. Dodging every incoming shot.

[strike wolf]

Since the diplomat can't fight directly but also can't be hurt I cover him in the nails and swing him around at the oppenent after my 100 slaves have distracted him of course.

[Dancing Mustard]

I place one of my mountains in a realm of eternal night

I use my unlimited generator of bricks to crank out an Ikea flat-pack Ritual Altar

I assemble the altar atop the mountain in the realm of eternal night

I use my unlimited generator of bricks and planks to produce a 'Factory of Human Improvement'

I place the factory of Human Improvement at the foot of a mountain gulley.

I select two of the prettiest weak slave girls.

I march them to the pinnacle of Mount Night.

There I command them to be naked and prostrate.

I bind them in netting while chanting unholy anthems to beings unseen. They quiver with fear as I rock back and forth atop the altar, calling out the names of profane deities and forgotten spirits.

Darkness fills my soul, staining it black as the skies above and dark as the granite stone below.

In the factory of human improvement my minions raise the invincible diplomat onto a plinth of rough-hewn brick. They stand solemn as Slave-36 carves gulleys into the invincible one's flesh with fresh-cut nails. Blood drips onto the porous floor and stains the dark brick a ruddy brown.

Atop the mountain, my two slavegirls howl with terror as they tremble and sob below the altar.

In the factory, the slaves use long copper nails to extract the diplomat's ever beating heart. Into the cavity they slide a newley generated engine, wiring it to his veins and cutting gear-markings into his spine.

My slaves sever the diplomat's bones at their joinings. His mortal shell is broken down and reassembled with hinges and nail-supports. His screaming is horrifying and the slaves curse their master as they go about their grim work.

At the pinnacle of the mountain I have disrobed. A girl lies prostrate upon the altar before me, while her sister lies naked and horrified at my feet.

My diplomat has become somthing more than human. Metal imbues his form, making him machine and angel, a dark visage of man's form; cold and silent, yet resolute with awful purpose. The slaves bow before their Master's hangman, chanting gibbered hymns to his still beating heart which lies throbbing in a barrel at the factory's center.

My slavegirl is defiled and abased. Unameable acts have been performed upon her person and she weeps like a newborn as she stands stooped but unbound at my side. Her sister remains pure, but tied by net cords at my heel. Somewhere, there is symbolism here.

In the factory my slaves fill barrels with water and phglem; sealing each casket as my Diplomat blesses it with vile psalms

I look to my slavegirls. "Soon" I tell them, "Soon you will see why this all must be".

They weep for their innocence and mourn for their futures.

I laugh at their suffering and lick the tears from their shaking cheeks.


I know have:
unlimit generator of bricks
unlimit generator of barrels
unlimit generator of water
unlimit generator of nets
unlimit generator of hinges
unlimit generator of nails
unlimit generator of planks of wood
unlimit generator of engines
1xMountain of Eternal Night
1xMountaintop Altar
2xunused mountains
98xweak* slaves(*will die in combat)
2xQuivering Slavegirls
1xFactory of Human Improvement
1xarchitects
1xengineers
10xunarmed unarmoured fighting men
1xMutilated yet Invincible, Cyborg Diplomat: AKA the reaper of souls.
1xFeeling of sadistic glee

[mandyb]

I think you're supposed to use your imagination DM, not describe a typical saturday night 'chez Mustard's'.


Also, you not-so-hidden-talent you, be nice to see you in Jim's Story thread, or are you currently under contract to The Sadeian's weekly?

[Neoteny]

I set my mountain in a vast plain, where the visibility even by naked eye is unmatched. I set 50 of my weak slaves about the horrid task of carving a lair of my own design into the mountain using nothing but nails and their gangrenous, bloody stumps that were once hands.

I send two of my prettiest slave girls to DM.

I set my engineer upon the task of inventing a wheel. He is dumped among an unlimited supply of barrels to do so.

I put my invincible diplomat in a barrel.

My remaining 48 slaves are given the day off. They meringue.

My items:
unlimit generator of bricks
unlimit generator of barrels
unlimit generator of water
unlimit generator of nets
unlimit generator of hinges
unlimit generator of nails
unlimit generator of planks of wood
unlimit generator of engines
2x mountains
48x weak* slaves(*will die in combat)
1x architects
1x engineers
10x unarmed unarmoured fighting men
1x invincible diplomat in a barrel
1x lair w/ 50 slaves(in progress)

[Ditocoaf]

I place one of my mountains atop a high plateau, and have my slaves catch birds with a net.

I place one of my mountains under the water, and have three of my slaves catch fish with a net (they drown).

I command my engineer to, using the spliced genes of the birds and the fish, develop my slaves into mutant zombie meralien ninja pirate knights, who are actually cyborgs, and teenagers. These shall herafter be referred to as "molemen." The molemen have a reproductive cycle of double population every 0.2 minutes. After the 20th generation of molemen, the genetic engineer splices in the genes of the invincible diplomat, making my army of mockeries of god unstoppable. My moleman army builds an inexterminable aquatic fortress on the underwater mountain, and I descend to wait patiently until the day of my uprising.

I now have:

unlimit generator of bricks
unlimit generator of barrels
unlimit generator of water
unlimit generator of nets
unlimit generator of hinges
unlimit generator of nails
unlimit generator of planks of wood
unlimit generator of engines
1xunderwater mountain
1xinexterminable aquatic fortress
7•2^20 = 7,340,032xmutant zombie meralien ninja pirate knights, who are actually cyborgs, and teenagers. (aka molemen)
An exponentially growing number of invincible molemen (aka mockeries of god)
1xarchitects
1xgenetic engineers

[Nikolai]

I set up my eight unlimited generators in a huge and carefully measured octagon, such that I can stand at the exact center and be exactly equidistant from each generator's center of gravity. I then turn them on and go stand at the center. I wait. When the generators have created enough material, the material around each generator collapses into a black hole. Based on the singularity theory, the generators would sit at the center of mass of the black holes and continue functioning, causing the black holes to continue to increase in size. I, being equidistant from them all, am the only thing in all of space that will not eventually be sucked in and destroyed by the ever-increasing black holes, since the force from any one is neutralized by the force from the one opposite. I laugh as the world ends around me. As my form slowly crystallizes, I rejoice in the knowledge that I have created the ultimate monument to myself: I will stand here for all eternity, surrounded by that which will eventually reverse the outwards movements of the universe and pull the universe back in upon itself, until the entire universe has collapsed and all that remains is me.
(Here we enter into pseudoscience.) Then, with nothing left to draw into themselves, the black holes will slowly pull each other together until they meet at the very center of me. As the universe is contracted into a single point in space within me, I (according to the big bang theory) will birth a new universe in a blinding flash of glory. Then I will ascend and take up my new position as Creator of the Universe!


Hooray for unlimited generators! Also, hooray for me for breaking viking's challenge for the second time! (Sorry, viking. I couldn't resist the chance to become God. )

[Iliad]

I place the three mountains into an equilateral triangle.

Then the engineer and the architect construct a plank from each mountain to the centre where the planks meet. All the planks are the same length. Where the planks meet is a platform. Under it is a hinge. Also there is button which drops all the planks but the platform, which is supported by poles.

I then pick the prettiest slave and spare her from the entertainment to come. The entertainment is simple. Each day one slave is driven to the peak of a mountain. Then on my command the slaves are to run the length of a plank, a kilometre, to the platform. The first one is to press the button and drop the other two to their deaths.

While the slaves crawl, run, fall from the planks and otherwise amuse me, me and my bedslave, architect, engineer and diplomat enjoy the entertainment.

But that's only round 1. After that's done there should be 33 slaves left. Maybe less if they were unco-ordinated. Meh, the fittest survive. Then round 2 happens. At the end of round 2 there should be 11 slaves. After the next one there should 4. But I'm sure at least one would have fallen by now. So the last round and there is one slave who is the survivor.

Then in a twist of fate I make the engineer, the architect and the diplomat walk the planks while me, my bedslave and my new General watch and amuse ourselves.

The fighting men are used to keep peace and to stop the slaves from not walking the plank or otherwise rebelling

[viking97]

I place all my mountains in outer space wich creates another planet.The water makes germs wich make oxygen(this really does happen!) so my planet is now safe to live on.
I build a small colony to survive on then make fire useing the spark plugs and petrol from the engines.Using fire i melt nails to make metal fire my spaceships.To propell spaceships i use generator of engines and reprogram it to make hyper-drive engines(it is still an engine)
using Nikolai's theory of black holes i create black hole and use hyper drive technolgy to engineer the black hole into a teleporter to earth. Using the space ships i return to earth 10,000 years later wen it is a wasteland and regenerate it using my original idea that made my planet safe

[Ditocoaf]

I place all my mountains in outer space wich creates another planet.The water makes germs wich make oxygen(this really does happen!) so my planet is now safe to live on.
I build a small colony to survive on then make fire useing the spark plugs and petrol from the engines.Using fire i melt nails to make metal fire my spaceships.To propell spaceships i use generator of engines and reprogram it to make hyper-drive engines(it is still an engine)
using Nikolai's theory of black holes i create black hole and use hyper drive technolgy to engineer the black hole into a teleporter to earth. Using the space ships i return to earth 10,000 years later wen it is a wasteland and regenerate it using my original idea that made my planet safe

But this time, with twice as many mole people.

[F1fth]

I build a small tree fort out of planks and nails.

I use the nets to make a hammock.

I lie in said hammock

I win.

[Dancing Mustard]

The time has come to try something a little different.

I order Slave-52 to open the barrels of phglem-water.

Inside each casket the phglem, water and profane psalms have mixed together to become monsters. Each barrel releases a torrent of slimy fiends, vile of mind and toxic of body. I smile indulgingly as they schlep and roil around my feet, thirsting for the blood of men.

I name them 'Flumphkins' and send several to my Grandparents as presents.

That was a joke.

My Grandparents are dead.

Toiling slaves have buit me a crude rickshaw from planks, barrel-tops and nails. I smile at their efforts and beat them less hard than usual. They are eternally grateful and erect a statue in my honour. The statue is built of nails. From the generator. Obv.

I tether my slavegirls to the rickshaw and canter them around the Mountain of Eternal night. Their panting arouses me and I grin in pleasure as my carriage judders over the rough ground. I order the slavegirls to run across more rugged terrain; with each quickening step my genitals are shaken harder. I moan in gathering climax and thrash their bare backs to speed their pace.

Finally the motion of the carriage rocks my throbbing member to climax. I gurgle with delight and claw at my chest as I release my pleasure onto the ground.

Slavegirl-1 vomits in disgust. I gain 1xSense of satisfaction at a job well done.

Chastisement of Slavegirl-1 ensues. She gains 1xFeeling of begrudging respect.

On my return to the Factory I send out my engineer with a foraging party of slaves. I tell him not to return without trinkets to amuse me.

My architect is not responding well to flogging. I have instructed him to build me a child from hinges, nails and engines; but he insists that he is unable to satisfactorarily serve me. I tell him he has until tomorrow, or I shall make an example of him.

The Reaper of Souls has been tasked with preparing my wedding ceremony to Slavegirl-2. Despite being the ultimate killing machine, he is also a dab hand at event organising and napkin folding. Tomorrow the ceremonies will commence and I shall take my prize.

I retire to my bedchamber where the flumphkins mass together to form a slimy mattress on which I can rest my weary head.


I now have:
unlimit generator of bricks
unlimit generator of barrels
unlimit generator of water
unlimit generator of nets
unlimit generator of hinges
unlimit generator of nails
unlimit generator of planks of wood
unlimit generator of engines
1xMountain of Eternal Night
1xMountaintop Altar
2xunused mountains
98xweak* slaves(*will die in combat)
2xQuivering Slavegirls (1 with feeling of begruding respect)
1xRickshaw (slightly stained by human discharge)
1xFactory of Human Improvement
1xShit-Tonnes of ravenous 'Flumphkins'
1xarchitects (currently building mechanical child)
1xengineers (currently foraging for trinkets)
1xEffigy of myself, built out of nails
10xunarmed unarmoured fighting men
1xMutilated yet Invincible, Cyborg Diplomat: AKA the reaper of souls, AKA My wedding planner
1xFeeling of sadistic glee / sense of satisfaction at a job well done

[Nikolai]

I place all my mountains in outer space wich creates another planet.The water makes germs wich make oxygen(this really does happen!) so my planet is now safe to live on.

Not bad. The mountains are unspecified in size, so that part works very well. My only concern is that a generator of water will only generate H2O, not the additional microscopic life forms that feed the algae that use photosynthesis to generate oxygen. You would need to start off by setting some pots of water out until they get pond scum on top, then proceed as planned. Everything else is great.

I build a small tree fort out of planks and nails.

I use the nets to make a hammock.

I lie in said hammock

I win.

You win. I, the Destroyer and Creator of Universes, declare that this is so. Furthermore, I request permission to join you. I'll bring my own hammock and a pitcher of fresh margaritas...

[Neoteny]

Another dawn, another day.

My first task is, of course, checking on my diplomat in a barrel. I order him skinned by my slaves. I gain 1x diplomat skin. As they peel him like a writhing, screaming banana, the final, loose cords of his sanity snap roughly and he vomits blood and bile. I put this in a barrel. I put my diplomat back in a barrel.

I check on my engineer who has successfully invented the wheel. I give him a cookie.

I check on my mountain lair. It has been carved into a massive, spherical hulk of rock and metal and tears. I see that it is good. I leave my architect with 48 well-rested (though slightly sore from the extended meringue) slaves to install wheels and treads below my lair.

I force one of my unarmored fighting men to drink of the blood and bile. His eyes glow with dark knowledge. I send him with the diplomat skin to make the ultimate armor.

I return to my engineer and request that he create an army of bipedal, iron, attack rodents out of the engines, hinges, and metal left over from mining the lair. He says it will be done.

I return to my architect to find my lair complete. I set another mountain next to my mobile fortress. I pile all my resources inside my lair and proceed to trek up the mountain. I get stuck. 98 slaves push me from the quagmire. I continue.

I accidentally run over Ditocoaf's mom. I send him 1x jigger of blood and bile as reparation. I bring her shattered corpse inside my lair. The top of the mountain is in sight...

My items:
unlimit generator of bricks
unlimit generator of barrels
unlimit generator of water
unlimit generator of nets
unlimit generator of hinges
unlimit generator of nails
unlimit generator of planks of wood
unlimit generator of engines
1x mountains
98x weak* slaves(*will die in combat)
1x architects
1x engineers
9x unarmed unarmoured fighting men
1x insane, invincible, skinless diplomat in a barrel
1x barrel of blood and bile
1x unarmed, unholy ninja w/ +200 skin of invincibility and loathing
1x Technodrome
1x Ditocoaf's dead mom

[Snorri1234]

I place one mountain in an eastern-european country where wolves and snow are not the real dangers.

I order my architect to construct a building so drenched with horror and madness that the very stones of the fortress become alive. It will feature gargoyles, looming towers and wallpaintings that seem to come direct from the most horrible nightmares you can imagine. And an altar with the most twisted engravings in the very centre.

I order 60 of my slaves to build it. The architect turns slightly mad.

After it is build I tell my fighting men to bring me the 5 prettiests slavegirls in my force. I will sacrifice their souls on the altar in the name of Ar-Khalek and their blood will seep into the stones themselves so that the building will become evil. Even the most good-hearted hero will go mad when entering my lair.

I order my engineer to make me an army of robots intented to spread fear into the hearts of mortals. It will number 13x13 machines of destruction. With the nails, planks of wood and engines he begins to construct a legion that is so twisted that several of the slaves who assist him go mad. Those 10 slaves I will train as my acolytes to serve the Dark Master and offer more souls and more glory to him.

On a night when all the planets are in allignment I call to me the leader of my fighting men. With my acolytes I peform the darkests rituals you've ever seen to turn him into the living embodiment of Rage. His skin turns red and his muscles bulge and he somehow begins to grow while the man is screaming in anger. At the end any semblance to his previous form is lost and before me stands a 10ft, red-skinned, muscular beast with the body of a man but the head of a mix between a wolf and an ox. I command him to train his men and go into the lands of DM with them and my robots and bring me DM's head.

I now have:
unlimit generator of bricks
unlimit generator of barrels
unlimit generator of water
unlimit generator of nets
unlimit generator of hinges
unlimit generator of nails
unlimit generator of planks of wood
unlimit generator of engines
1x Mountain lair somewhere is an eastern-european country.
2x Mountains left.
85xweak* slaves(*will die in combat)
1xarchitects (slightly mad)
1xengineers
13x13 Machines of Destruction
10x Acolytes sworn to serve our Dark Master
9xunarmed unarmoured fighting men
1x Living Embodiment of Rage
1xinvincible diplomat(he cant fight)

[Nikolai]

Neoteny: that's great and everything, but I have just one question...

WHERE DO YOU GET THE COOKIE???!?!?!?

[Neoteny]

Neoteny: that's great and everything, but I have just one question...

WHERE DO YOU GET THE COOKIE???!?!?!?

Blood and bile cookie, of course.

[Snorri1234]

Neoteny: that's great and everything, but I have just one question...

WHERE DO YOU GET THE COOKIE???!?!?!?

I was thinking the same thing.

[Simon Viavant]

Build my mountain fortress on a dark, sinister looking mountain in the middle of a dark, sinister looking forest. Set half my slaves to construct a dark, sinister looking castle with a Satan Alter standing on the highest tower. Make my genetic engineer do some experiments on a few slaves and engineer them to grow to maturity from conception in the space of 2 days and give birth to a litter of 4-5 children on average. Make a few pretty slave girls who have undergone above-mentioned genetic engineering have children with the invincible diplomat. Their children with be invincible. Take those children one by one to the Satan Alter. Sing unholy hymns and beseech Satan's spirit to enter their bodies and give them his powers. Take those slaves and reconstruct their bodies out of scrap metal from melted nails. In a week I have 1,000 invincible intelligent robots with unholy Satanic powers. sworn to do my bidding. On the full moon, when's Satan's spirit is thick in the air, have my newly appointed priests give my troops the blessing of Satan and use of His powers as 200 of my invincible intelligent robots with superpowers fly off using their Satanic powers) in a dark, menacing black cloud in the night to go kill Snorri when his troops are all out attacking DM.

[Dancing Mustard]

The Wedding: Part 1.

I arise from my Flumphkin bed filled with optimism and with a spring in my step; today is my wedding day and I have never felt so alive.

I pluck a wriggling flumphkin from the mattress and carry it with me into my en-suite shower (which I built earlier. Don't believe me? Go check, fuckhead). The beast squirms and shrieks as I rub him against my skin, working him into an oily lather with which to cleanse myself. At one point I drop him and he darts for the plughole, but I pull him back from the brink at the last moment as I have not yet washed behind my ears.

I stride from the shower dripping wet, I command the remaining flumphkins to bring me a slavegirl with particularly long hair.

The girl is brought before me and I towel myself down on her flowing tresses. The process takes some time and several clump of hair are accidentally pulled from her scalp as I attempt to vigorously dry my underarms, but eventually I am ready to dress.

I reflect that I need to invest funds in towel production technology or into researching alternative post-shower drying methods. I order the slightly dishevelled looking slavegirl to make a note of this.

News is delivered to me that my Architect has worked through the night creating me the mechanical child I demanded. His terrified efforts have met with some success, after a night of frantic work he has cobbled together a crudely fashioned infant. The creature stumbles around the factory clumsily; desperate for affection it attempts to hug the nearby slaves who scamper out of its path, terrified of its jagged nail-collage skin. It's first thought is one of sadness and lonely dispair. An oily tear rolls down its cheek.

I name my child Pinailchio, then immediately lose interest in him.



TO BE CONTINUED...

[Neoteny]

My first order of business on this day is to order 10 of my slaves to build a snack factory in my lair using wood and nails. The cookies will consist mainly of the souls and broken prayers of my naysayers.

I have reached the top of the mountain and have decided to remain there for a bit due to outrageous gas prices. From this secluded lookout, I begin work on my next project.

My shattered diplomat is once again removed from his prison, twitching and retching. His twisted body a living testament to our sins. I command three slaves to rip his ribcage open and tear his lungs from the cavity, severing all connections with their teeth, and then nail him shut. His eyes glaze with agony as he is made to constantly suffocate for all eternity. I have him returned to his barrel.

I install these lungs into Ditocoaf's ma's corpse. New life seeps through her body. As the chimera rises, I give her a new name... Candi. My senses, as well as my member, are fully aroused by clammy contact with this undead vixen. I have sex with her. She will remain by my side as we lay waste to this realm.

I set my architect to the task of designing a grand cannon...


My items:
unlimit generator of bricks
unlimit generator of barrels
unlimit generator of water
unlimit generator of nets
unlimit generator of hinges
unlimit generator of nails
unlimit generator of planks of wood
unlimit generator of engines
1x mountains
98x weak* slaves(*will die in combat)
1x architects
1x engineers
9x unarmed unarmoured fighting men
1x insane, invincible, skinless, lungless diplomat in a barrel
1x barrel of blood and bile
1x unarmed, unholy ninja w/ +200 skin of invincibility and loathing
1x Technodrome w/ 1x Starbucks
1x Zombie stripper (Dito's ma)