Don't believe in God? God does!

[tzor]

Proof in dialogue form:
Fred: Hey Joe, do you believe in God?
Joe: No.
Fred: Why not? God believes in God.
Joe: No he doesn't.
Fred: Yes he does and I can prove it.
Joe: You can't. God doesn't exist.
Fred: Work with me here. You say God doesn't exist.
Joe: Right.
Fred: That means to you God is nothing.
Joe: BINGO
Fred: And I think it is safe to say that if something is nothing it can't believe at all; it can't believe in anything.
Joe: Correct.
Fred: And anyone who can't believe in anything believes in nothing.
Joe: Yes.
Fred: And that means nothing believes in nothing.
Fred: But you insist that God is nothing or in other words nothing is God.
Fred: So that means if nothing believes in nothing and nothing is God ...
Fred: God bleieves in God, QED.

[Backglass]

...and I am my own Grandpa.

[jay_a2j]

Oh if it were that easy to "just believe" in God and then obtain salvation for our sins! Many people who have been sitting in churches for 50 years and "believe in God" will perish!

"So you say you believe in God? Good! Even demons know that there is a God and tremble!"

Jesus said, "I am the way the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father but through me."

Nicodemus asked Jesus, "What must I do to be saved?" Jesus replied, "I tell you the truth, unless a man be born again, he can not enter the Kingdom of God."

You must accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and savior, to be reborn of the spirit. Thus accepting payment for your sin. (Jesus' death on the cross) Then and only then can a person "inherit the Kingdom of God".

[heavycola]

Proof in dialogue form:
Fred: Hey Joe, do you believe in God?
Joe: No.
Fred: Why not? God believes in God.
Joe: No he doesn't.
Fred: Yes he does and I can prove it.
Joe: You can't. God doesn't exist.
Fred: Work with me here. You say God doesn't exist.
Joe: Right.
Fred: That means to you God is nothing.
Joe: BINGO
Fred: And I think it is safe to say that if something is nothing it can't believe at all; it can't believe in anything.
Joe: Correct.
Fred: And anyone who can't believe in anything believes in nothing.
Joe: Yes.
Fred: And that means nothing believes in nothing.
Fred: But you insist that God is nothing or in other words nothing is God.
Fred: So that means if nothing believes in nothing and nothing is God ...
Fred: God bleieves in God, QED.

That's funny

[The1exile]

man then went on to prove that black is white and got himself killed on the next zebra crossing.

[heavycola]

man then went on to prove that black is white and got himself killed on the next zebra crossing.

lol yeah - 'oh dear,' said god. 'I hadn't thought of that.'

[Snorri1234]

man then went on to prove that black is white and got himself killed on the next zebra crossing.

lol yeah - 'oh dear,' said god. 'I hadn't thought of that.'

He then promptly vanished in a puff of logic.

[jay_a2j]

man then went on to prove that black is white and got himself killed on the next zebra crossing.

lol yeah - 'oh dear,' said god. 'I hadn't thought of that.'

must be an inside joke because it makes no sense.

[Juan_Bottom]

You know, you can replace the name God with anything pretend there, and make it sound almost real. I like the name HotchickthatthinksI'mfunny.

Hey Joe, do you believe in Odin?

[joecoolfrog]

Oh if it were that easy to "just believe" in God and then obtain salvation for our sins! Many people who have been sitting in churches for 50 years and "believe in God" will perish!

"So you say you believe in God? Good! Even demons know that there is a God and tremble!"

Jesus said, "I am the way the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father but through me."

Nicodemus asked Jesus, "What must I do to be saved?" Jesus replied, "I tell you the truth, unless a man be born again, he can not enter the Kingdom of God."

You must accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and savior, to be reborn of the spirit. Thus accepting payment for your sin. (Jesus' death on the cross) Then and only then can a person "inherit the Kingdom of God".

Disclaimer

This does not work if you are the 'wrong' type of Christian,Muslim, Hindu.Budhist,Jew,Pagan,Agnostic,Atheist or otherwise non believer ie the majority of the planet.

[DAZMCFC]

no wonder these forums are dieing on their arse.


Stop with all these religious bollocks. bring back Norse and pray to Odin.

[Juan_Bottom]

no wonder these forums are dieing on their arse.


Stop with all these religious bollocks. bring back Norse and pray to Odin.

Are you going to join NORSE in SMOKINGDUDE420's Pagan/Wiccan Clan?

[MeDeFe]

man then went on to prove that black is white and got himself killed on the next zebra crossing.

lol yeah - 'oh dear,' said god. 'I hadn't thought of that.'

must be an inside joke because it makes no sense.

Hitchhiker's Guide to the galaxy. I can only recommend it, it's one of the funniest compilations of more or less coherent stories in book form I ever read. See if you can get the edition with all 6 books and the foreword explaining in which order they were written.

[strike wolf]

Hitchhiker's was great. My family didn't get it, though. I think it only appeals to a certain group.

[MeDeFe]

Hitchhiker's was great. My family didn't get it, though. I think it only appeals to a certain group.

Yes, the one with a sense of humour. ;-)

[The1exile]

Hitchhiker's Guide to the galaxy. I can only recommend it,

but I, for my part, can say WTF JAY? Everyone should have read hhgttg, especially if they're on the interwebz.

[Snorri1234]

See if you can get the edition with all 6 books and the foreword explaining in which order they were written.

I have that edition!

[Juan_Bottom]

I don't think the book really does well over here in the US. None of the libraries in the area have it, and our bookstore doesn't either. It was waaayyyyy to expensive to order.

On that day I ended up withe the Zombie Survival Guide instead. It was crap and will get people killed.

[DAZMCFC]

no wonder these forums are dieing on their arse.


Stop with all these religious bollocks. bring back Norse and pray to Odin.

Are you going to join NORSE in SMOKINGDUDE420's Pagan/Wiccan Clan?

now why would i do that?


every other topic is a religious thread, it bores the shit out of me. i'm not getting into an argument about my beliefs with a load of religious loonies.

[Iliad]

Person 1: A sandwhich is better than nothing right?
Person 2: Right
Person 1: And nothing is better than immortality?
Person: I guess
Person 1: Then a sandwich is better than immortality

The original and the above and both completely flawed in the same way

[MeDeFe]

Person 1: A sandwhich is better than nothing right?
Person 2: Right
Person 1: And nothing is better than immortality?
Person: I guess
Person 1: Then a sandwich is better than immortality

The original and the above and both completely flawed in the same way

That made me laugh, it's brilliant.

[tzor]

The original and the above and both completely flawed in the same way

No they are flawed in slightly different ways. The first is really a question of the notion of nothing as the value zero. The second is really taking the expression "nothing is better than x" which really is more of a set notion to imply that the set of things better than x is empty implying that x is infinite. So that's a meaning change more than a question of trying to define X as Y and replacting X with Y on both sides of the statement.

Besides, it seems a little too short, you need to work on the timing.

[Backglass]

Person 1: A sandwhich is better than nothing right?
Person 2: Right
Person 1: And nothing is better than immortality?
Person: I guess
Person 1: Then a sandwich is better than immortality

The original and the above and both completely flawed in the same way

Blasphemy! These word games are only valid when PROVING magical gods!

How DARE you turn the tables! DAMN YOU TO HELL!!!

Yes, the one with a sense of humour.

Yup great books. Not believing in fairy tales helps as well.

[MeDeFe]

Yes, the one with a sense of humour.

Yup great books. Not believing in fairy tales helps as well.

I thought god was a pretty minor theme in the books, but his final message to creation is good.

[Juan_Bottom]

Person 1: A sandwhich is better than nothing right?
Person 2: Right
Person 1: And nothing is better than immortality?
Person: I guess
Person 1: Then a sandwich is better than immortality

The original and the above and both completely flawed in the same way

That made me laugh, it's brilliant.

Ditto, Ditto.