Any other Valedectorians on CC?

[fireedud]

I am one too. I Just want to know how you are constructing your speech? Maybe we can help each other out. You, like turn a decent one into a good one into a great one into an awesome one into a "OMFG!!! TAHT SPEECH WAS FREAKIN' AWESOME!!!!!!1!!!11!!!!one!!!!1!!!!!!!!!".

[static_ice]

Congrats... you're a valedictorian in... middle school? Here's something my brother's valedictorian could have used: talk loud into the microphone.

[fireedud]

Thx, I'm graduating 8th Grade. And I have no problem with loudness, it's usually the speed and mumbling, but mostly speed when in front of an audience, that's bad for me.

[Incandenza]

I've been to quite a few graduations (and gave a speech at my own), and if there's one immutable law it's this: if you're not naturally funny, don't try to be funny.

[fireedud]

I've been to quite a few graduations (and gave a speech at my own), and if there's one immutable law it's this: if you're not naturally funny, don't try to be funny.

o.k. that's one of the more helpful comments. I'm somewhat funny, and that's how I was going to write the speech (i.e. trying to get a few chuckles here and there.

[jonesthecurl]

What's a "valedictorian"?

[fireedud]

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/Valedictorian

[DiM]

in 12th grade the valedictorian came to the microphone and all he did was mumble something and instantly begin throwing up. i'll never forget that.
probably a silly speech would have been forgotten in the next 30 seconds.
a great speech in the next days.
but a fabulous burst of vomit (through mouth and nose) is something you never forget.

try doing that.

[InkL0sed]

Go up there and mumble this into the microphone:

"Hi... um... my name is... uh... please don't vomit, please please..." Look up. "I uh... I'm nervous, hehe... I just don't want to throw up, oh please God no..." Vomit.

[Incandenza]

in 12th grade the valedictorian came to the microphone and all he did was mumble something and instantly begin throwing up. i'll never forget that.
probably a silly speech would have been forgotten in the next 30 seconds.
a great speech in the next days.
but a fabulous burst of vomit (through mouth and nose) is something you never forget.

try doing that.

You should so do this.

Or something where you rig some sort of large video screen to show porn during your speech.

Basically, you want to do something so insane that you land a three-minute spot on CNN, or at least a headline on fark.

[lord voldemort]

i was one..my advice dont overdo it
just right your speech and let the jokes come naturally and if u f*ck up go with it

[Minister Masket]

Start your speech with:
"Greetings unwashed masses!"

Bound to raise a few eyebrows!

[fireedud]

I have a question that the grammar nazi's could help me with. In the speech I'm writing a sentence that begins

If there’s one thing we’ve learned from the wonderful Sisters and teachers

Now I need to know should I have is or are?

I think it is is, but the grammar nazi's might know differently.

[InkL0sed]

I have a question that the grammar nazi's could help me with. In the speech I'm writing a sentence that begins

If there’s one thing we’ve learned from the wonderful Sisters and teachers

Now I need to know should I have is or are?

I think it is is, but the grammar nazi's might know differently.

It's "is", because "one thing" is the subject. "...we've learned from the wonderful Sisters and teachers" is just a clause, and is grammatically unnecessary.

For example: "If there's one thing we've learned from the wonderful Sisters and teachers, it is certainly not how to please a woman in bed."

[fireedud]

ok thax

[fireedud]

I have finished my speech; here it is:

Good Evening, Sr. *; Sr. *; faculty; staff; administration; teachers; friends; parents; grandparents; aunts; uncles; grand aunts; grand uncles; cousins; second cousins; third cousins; first cousins, once removed; second cousins, once removed; first cousins, twice removed; second cousins, twice removed; first cousins, thrice removed; nieces, and nephews. Oh, and fellow graduates; I hope I didn't forget anyone.
It took me a while to write the beginning of this speech. I just couldn't think of how to start it. At first, I thought of using a famous quote or saying that would apply, but after 5 hours of searching, the best I could find was You may be hungry soon: order a takeout now, and your lucky numbers are 4, 11, 14, 19, 20, and 25. Maybe I should have saved the fortune cookies for last. So I scrapped that idea. Then I thought of starting with a memory, but then I realized that the rest of my speech is filled with memories. So in the end, I thought I would just skip the intro and go right into the speech...
St. * has been like a second home to us, where we have lived for the past years. We are all one family, whether we came to * in Pre-K, or in 7th grade. We all rejoice with each success such as *'s first grape last year or *'s idea of Music through the Ages. We also lament with each tragedy such as * getting hit by a car or lack of a class prank. Oops, did I say that aloud? If there’s one thing we’ve learned from the wonderful Sisters and teachers, it is that we are all one family. It doesn’t matter who we are, what we do, where we come from, we are all one family; we are all children of God. Villa has really transformed us into who we are today.
Unfortunately, our good times at * will soon come to an end. We can spend literally 10 years, going over our memories here, but I was only given 5 minutes to talk. We’ve had so many good times here; it’s hard to narrow it down. There were the gas leaks, the Cotillion, all the shows some of us have been in, the sports teams some of us play in, our field trips, and all our assemblies. Again, I could go into more detail, but I only have 5 minutes, oh sorry, now it’s 4 minutes to talk.
At this time, on the behalf of the graduating class, I would like to thank Sr. *, Sr. *, Mrs. *, Ms. *, Miss *, Mr. *, all of whom have really helped us this year. I would also like to thank the rest of the teachers we’ve had. I would also like to thank all of the parents and family who have supported us throughout our whole life. Personally, I will thank my mom, and my grandparents, who have raised me up to be who I am today.
On a final note to all of my fellow graduates, before you leave, take a good look at this Church, and the school building, as it will probably be the last time you will see it.

the stars replace names.

[InkL0sed]

Some of the jokes are corny, but if you're a good speaker, you can get away with them. Especially the "Oops, did I say that out loud?" As a matter of fact, that joke is probably better if you eliminate that line from your speech and your memory.

[fireedud]

Some of the jokes are corny, but if you're a good speaker, you can get away with them. Especially the "Oops, did I say that out loud?" As a matter of fact, that joke is probably better if you eliminate that line from your speech and your memory.

Yea, I just put that there because, I probably will say something to that effect, but since this has to get approved by my principal, I don't want any ad libs she doesn't know of.

[jonesthecurl]

Not long after I started work, a long while ago now, an old guy called George finally retired. He was quite a character, and who knows I may tell you some of the many George stories sometime. ANyhow, he's been with the bank since he was 14, taking time out only for National Service. He'd apparently gotten along well with ost of his bosses, but hated the then-current manager, who'd joined just a year or so before.
So we all go down the pub for his farewell bash, and the manager stands up and gives a long dull speech about "distinguished career", "we shall miss him" "do come in to visit us" etc. , all totally insincere, the manager can't wait to leave the party.

Then it's George's turn to speechify. He stands up, with a large sheaf of papers in his hand.
He fixes the manager with his eye, raises the dismayingly-large sheaf of notes to reading distance, adjusts his reading specks, and says
"I believe it is customary in these situations to give a review of the highlights of one's career.
Well, there were none.
I'm off to the bar."

and walked off.

[static_ice]

Oh yeah, one more thing, I can't tell from the speech you wrote but don't plagiarize, don't borrow anything from something else, not even a paragraph or just a few phrases. This kid got his valedictorian medal taken away in the news.

[Minister Masket]

Why have you deleted the names?
Are you afraid we'll go there during your speech and shout "HEY! IT'S FIRRREEEEEEDUDDDDD!"?

[Anarkistsdream]

I'm a valid dick...

[fireedud]

AAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! my principal said it needs to have a complete revision.

[InkL0sed]

AAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! my principal said it needs to have a complete revision.

Did he say why? Was it not boring enough?

[fireedud]

AAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! my principal said it needs to have a complete revision.

Did he say why? Was it not boring enough?

there was nothing that captured her attention. She didn't really like the jokes, and I wasn't nostalgic enough. BAH!