Conquer Club

500 things you can do with semen!

\\OFF-TOPIC// conversations about everything that has nothing to do with Conquer Club.

Moderator: Community Team

Forum rules
Please read the Community Guidelines before posting.

Re: 500 things you can do with semen!

Postby RustyMonkey on Tue May 06, 2008 10:47 pm

HEEEEEERE IT COMES!


CLICKETY-CLACK,

D
O
W
N

T
H
E

T
R
A
C
K
S
!

IT'S LOTS & LOTS OF SEMEN!

TWO OF THE GREATEST SEMEN VIDEOS WE'VE EVER OFFERED! AND NOW THROUGH THIS SPECIAL TV OFFER, YOU GET TWO FOR THE PRICE OF ONE!

YOU GET BIG GOBS OF SEMENS,

LITTLE GOBS OF SEMENS,

STEAMY SEMEN,

HUMAN, DOG AND HORSE SEMEN

EVEN SEMEN THAT BLOWs THROUGH SNOW!

OLD SEMEN,

NEW SEMEN,

FAST SEMEN,

SLLLLLOOOOOOOWWWWW SEMEN,

SSSSSSSSSMOKIN' SEMEN!

EVEN SEMEN FROM
AROUND THE WORLD!

+PLUS+

TOY SEMEN,

LONG SEMEN,

AND MUCH MUCH MORE!

WHEN YOU ORDER

LOTS & LOTS OF SEMEN!

HEEEEEEAR THE PENIS BLOW!

FEEEEEEL THE HEAT!

SMEEEEELL THE SWEAT!

AS THESE TITANS OF THE VAS DEFERENS THUNDER ON BY!

KIDS LOVE IT TOO!

YOU'LL LOVE LOTS & LOTS OF SEMEN! AND REMEMBER, THIS SPECTACULAR TWO-TAPE SET IS NOT AVAILABLE IN STORES!

SO HOP ON BOARD AND GET TWO GRRRREAT TAPES FOR ONE GRRRREAT PRICE!

GET LOTS & LOTS OF SEMEN!
Sergeant 1st Class RustyMonkey
 
Posts: 15
Joined: Fri Jan 04, 2008 9:46 pm

Re: 500 things you can do with semen!

Postby SnakeySnakey on Tue May 06, 2008 10:49 pm

JESUS, THAT DEAL IS SO SLLLLLIPERY GOOD, ITLL STICK!
Private SnakeySnakey
 
Posts: 16
Joined: Sat Jan 05, 2008 9:17 pm

Re: 500 things you can do with semen!

Postby Interfacer PH on Tue May 06, 2008 10:50 pm

God bless the Navy...
Define Irony...

Twill wrote:You have seriously crossed a line on the reminisco trolling front.
User avatar
Private Interfacer PH
 
Posts: 61
Joined: Thu Jun 21, 2007 8:50 pm

Re: 500 things you can do with semen!

Postby DaGip on Wed May 07, 2008 4:48 am

YOU CAN GAVE HOT GAY SEX WITH THEM WHEN THE GET OFF THE SHIP!

Image
Army of GOD wrote:This thread is now about my large penis
Image
User avatar
Sergeant 1st Class DaGip
 
Posts: 4047
Joined: Sat Feb 10, 2007 4:48 am
Location: Watertown, South Dakota

-deleted-

Postby hahaha3hahaha on Wed May 07, 2008 5:39 am

-deleted-
Last edited by hahaha3hahaha on Fri Oct 26, 2018 5:00 am, edited 2 times in total.
Cook hahaha3hahaha
 
Posts: 715
Joined: Fri Oct 12, 2007 10:30 pm

Re: 500 things you can do with semen!

Postby clapper011 on Wed May 07, 2008 9:12 am

:roll:
User avatar
Corporal 1st Class clapper011
 
Posts: 7208
Joined: Mon Feb 20, 2006 10:25 am
Location: Ontario, Canada

Re: 500 things you can do with semen!

Postby Snorri1234 on Wed May 07, 2008 9:30 am

DaGip wrote:YOU CAN GAVE HOT GAY SEX WITH THEM WHEN THE GET OFF THE SHIP!

Image

<3
"Some motherfuckers are always trying to ice skate uphill."

Duane: You know what they say about love and war.
Tim: Yes, one involves a lot of physical and psychological pain, and the other one's war.
User avatar
Private Snorri1234
 
Posts: 3438
Joined: Wed Sep 12, 2007 11:52 am
Location: Right in the middle of a fucking reptile zoo.

Re: 500 things you can do with semen!

Postby jonesthecurl on Wed May 07, 2008 10:09 am

"She was only the admiral's daughter, but her naval base was full of discharged seamen"
User avatar
Sergeant 1st Class jonesthecurl
 
Posts: 4613
Joined: Sun Mar 16, 2008 9:42 am
Location: disused action figure warehouse

Re: 500 things you can do with semen!

Postby jonesthecurl on Wed May 07, 2008 10:10 am

and come to that,
"She was only the fisherman's daughter, but she lay on the slab and said "fillet"."
User avatar
Sergeant 1st Class jonesthecurl
 
Posts: 4613
Joined: Sun Mar 16, 2008 9:42 am
Location: disused action figure warehouse

Re: 500 things you can do with semen!

Postby t-o-m on Wed May 07, 2008 10:26 am

theres apparently a craze in english schools called "sea gulling" where the kid has a wank into his hand, so he has a load of cum in his hand and then they throw it at a teacher; shoting "SEA GULLING!"
i wouldnt like to be the teacher...
User avatar
Major t-o-m
 
Posts: 2918
Joined: Sat Mar 22, 2008 2:22 pm

Re: 500 things you can do with semen!

Postby heavycola on Wed May 07, 2008 1:56 pm

Image
User avatar
Corporal 1st Class heavycola
 
Posts: 2925
Joined: Thu Jun 01, 2006 10:22 am
Location: Maailmanvalloittajat

Re: 500 things you can do with semen!

Postby Kid_A on Wed May 07, 2008 2:27 pm

one of the best thread titles ive seen in a while!
User avatar
Major Kid_A
 
Posts: 1083
Joined: Tue Nov 21, 2006 3:40 pm
Location: San Francisco

Re: 500 things you can do with semen!

Postby t-o-m on Wed May 07, 2008 3:07 pm

heavycola wrote:http://www.spermcube.org/

it's the future.

i went on that :evil:
i have to stop going on things that i dont read!
i found this...
Image

i feel sorry for the graphic designer that had to design that cock!
User avatar
Major t-o-m
 
Posts: 2918
Joined: Sat Mar 22, 2008 2:22 pm

Re: 500 things you can do with semen!

Postby heavycola on Wed May 07, 2008 3:19 pm

that's OK, he was french.
Most constructive wank i have ever had.
Image
User avatar
Corporal 1st Class heavycola
 
Posts: 2925
Joined: Thu Jun 01, 2006 10:22 am
Location: Maailmanvalloittajat

Re: 500 things you can do with semen!

Postby RustyMonkey on Wed May 07, 2008 6:39 pm

SUBSTITUTE IT FOR EGG WHITES!
Sergeant 1st Class RustyMonkey
 
Posts: 15
Joined: Fri Jan 04, 2008 9:46 pm

Re: 500 things you can do with semen!

Postby tubaman on Wed May 07, 2008 7:39 pm

RustyMonkey wrote:SUBSTITUTE IT FOR EGG WHITES!


THAT IS AN AWESOME IDEA. We should all do that. Wait, we could mix the sperm with the egg whites. That would be way more fun.
Image
User avatar
Colonel tubaman
 
Posts: 145
Joined: Sun May 27, 2007 12:13 am
Location: Philly

Re: 500 things you can do with semen!

Postby cmckinney on Wed May 07, 2008 7:44 pm

Ruin your girlfriend's life
Image
Marvel Heroes Clan
User avatar
Private cmckinney
 
Posts: 448
Joined: Thu Dec 14, 2006 11:21 am
Location: Houston, TX

Re: 500 things you can do with semen!

Postby Appalachian on Wed May 07, 2008 8:34 pm

Give NICE GIRL a Pearl necklace! #-o
User avatar
Sergeant Appalachian
 
Posts: 58
Joined: Sun Jan 13, 2008 12:42 pm
Location: North Carolina

Re: 500 things you can do with semen!

Postby DaGip on Wed May 07, 2008 8:36 pm

I remember I was cleaning the office late one evening. I was dusting the shelves and cleaning all the keyboards in the cubicles. I was getting all the paperwork ready for the next day. Then I was vacuuming the floors.

All that vacuuming kind of stirred up my Man Gravy Factory, so I was starting to feel a little horny.

My next project was to clean the office refrigerator. I got a bucket with warm water and disinfectant. I opened up the fridge and started wiping everything down, then I saw it...amazingly beautiful! So awesome, I could barely contain myself!

Image

She was the most perfect Tuna Fish Sandwich that I have ever seen in my life!

I started playing with my nipples and rubbing my nutsack.

I laid that sandwich wide open and I jerked off right there in the office!

I blew my hot steamy man juices all over that Tuna Fish Sandwich. I mixed it in pretty good, put the sandwich back together, zipped it up into its little plastic zip lock baggy, and placed it back in the refrigerator again.

"Hmmm?" I was wondering quite curiously "I wonder whose sandwich that was. Well, a little extra added protein won't hurt them."

So I closed the office and went home for the evening.

I was so curious about whose Tuna Fish Sandwich that was in the fridge (and if they were going to eat it tomorrow at lunch), that I could barely go to sleep.

When I got to work I quickly looked in the fridge. Good! The sandwich was still there.

I went to my cubicle and started typing away. Then morning break came...

I watched carefully, but nobody took the sandwich.

I thought maybe nobody was going to eat the sandwich with my extra added flavor enhancer. It probably was a sandwich that someone forgot about or didn't want. Then...lunch came!

I watched the fridge out of the corner of my eye, and our head secretary opened the fridge door!

She looked like this (except with more office like attire, but showing lots of cleavage!):

Click image to enlarge.
image


I watched in excitement as she grabbed the plastic baggy with the sandwich!

I watched her eat it slowly, wiping the corner of her mouth with a napkin, and then chomping in for another bite. My little nano army was being ingested by the company's hottest woman! I couldn't believe it!

I immediately went to the bathroom to wank off!

What a beautiful day that was...

Are we up to 500 yet?
Army of GOD wrote:This thread is now about my large penis
Image
User avatar
Sergeant 1st Class DaGip
 
Posts: 4047
Joined: Sat Feb 10, 2007 4:48 am
Location: Watertown, South Dakota

Re: 500 things you can do with semen!

Postby Hitman079 on Wed May 07, 2008 9:15 pm

t-o-m wrote:theres apparently a craze in english schools called "sea gulling" where the kid has a wank into his hand, so he has a load of cum in his hand and then they throw it at a teacher; shoting "SEA GULLING!"
i wouldnt like to be the teacher...

Is that even possible?
User avatar
Cook Hitman079
 
Posts: 2986
Joined: Wed Jan 31, 2007 10:43 pm
Location: Tied up in your basement

Re: 500 things you can do with semen!

Postby tubaman on Wed May 07, 2008 10:43 pm

DaGip wrote:I remember I was cleaning the office late one evening. I was dusting the shelves and cleaning all the keyboards in the cubicles. I was getting all the paperwork ready for the next day. Then I was vacuuming the floors.

All that vacuuming kind of stirred up my Man Gravy Factory, so I was starting to feel a little horny.

My next project was to clean the office refrigerator. I got a bucket with warm water and disinfectant. I opened up the fridge and started wiping everything down, then I saw it...amazingly beautiful! So awesome, I could barely contain myself!

Image

She was the most perfect Tuna Fish Sandwich that I have ever seen in my life!

I started playing with my nipples and rubbing my nutsack.

I laid that sandwich wide open and I jerked off right there in the office!

I blew my hot steamy man juices all over that Tuna Fish Sandwich. I mixed it in pretty good, put the sandwich back together, zipped it up into its little plastic zip lock baggy, and placed it back in the refrigerator again.

"Hmmm?" I was wondering quite curiously "I wonder whose sandwich that was. Well, a little extra added protein won't hurt them."

So I closed the office and went home for the evening.

I was so curious about whose Tuna Fish Sandwich that was in the fridge (and if they were going to eat it tomorrow at lunch), that I could barely go to sleep.

When I got to work I quickly looked in the fridge. Good! The sandwich was still there.

I went to my cubicle and started typing away. Then morning break came...

I watched carefully, but nobody took the sandwich.

I thought maybe nobody was going to eat the sandwich with my extra added flavor enhancer. It probably was a sandwich that someone forgot about or didn't want. Then...lunch came!

I watched the fridge out of the corner of my eye, and our head secretary opened the fridge door!

She looked like this (except with more office like attire, but showing lots of cleavage!):

Click image to enlarge.
image


I watched in excitement as she grabbed the plastic baggy with the sandwich!

I watched her eat it slowly, wiping the corner of her mouth with a napkin, and then chomping in for another bite. My little nano army was being ingested by the company's hottest woman! I couldn't believe it!

I immediately went to the bathroom to wank off!

What a beautiful day that was...

Are we up to 500 yet?


You are creepy and hilarious.
Image
User avatar
Colonel tubaman
 
Posts: 145
Joined: Sun May 27, 2007 12:13 am
Location: Philly

Re: 500 things you can do with semen!

Postby SnakeySnakey on Wed May 07, 2008 10:50 pm

SUBSTITUTE AS GEL
Private SnakeySnakey
 
Posts: 16
Joined: Sat Jan 05, 2008 9:17 pm

Re: 500 things you can do with semen!

Postby RustyMonkey on Wed May 07, 2008 10:51 pm

PLANT A SEMEN TREE!
Sergeant 1st Class RustyMonkey
 
Posts: 15
Joined: Fri Jan 04, 2008 9:46 pm

Re: 500 things you can do with semen!

Postby Frigidus on Thu May 08, 2008 12:08 am

Use as currency. Would solve poverty. Well, for guys at least. Women would be screwed. Well I guess whores would be fine. Whatever.
User avatar
Sergeant Frigidus
 
Posts: 1638
Joined: Thu Aug 30, 2007 1:15 pm
Location: Illinois, USA

Re: 500 things you can do with semen!

Postby jonesthecurl on Thu May 08, 2008 7:13 am

DRIVE UP THE VALUE OF KLEENEX SHARES
User avatar
Sergeant 1st Class jonesthecurl
 
Posts: 4613
Joined: Sun Mar 16, 2008 9:42 am
Location: disused action figure warehouse

PreviousNext

Return to Acceptable Content

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: jusplay4fun