1) It feels me with His abundant Love, which is pure and unsullied. (unlike my..hang on, off topic already)
2) It teaches me how to think.
3) It takes away responsibility for my actions (I only follow His will)
4) It helps me love everyone, everyone who believes what i believe.
5) It helps me spread STDs, because religion frees me from contraception.
6) It frees me from fear, despair and guilt, because i know i am always being scrutinsed by Him, and if i am not pure int hought and deed, i am going to Hell-that always cheers me up.
7) It helps me to justify wars, which is cool, cos God likes big guns.

Let us pray.