3 Rules Regarding Women

[reminisco]

since it is Valentines Day, I thought I'd post something about women. 2 sets of 3 rules.

first three are from a movie called The Tao of Steve. it's really good. this is how to win a woman's heart:

1. Be excellent at something in her presence
2. Be desireless
3. Withdraw.


and here are three more. A Sioux man told me these, and are perhaps more important than those above. these are about how to KEEP a woman.

1. Live quietly.
2. Let her do what she wants because she will anyway, with or without you.
3. Rub her feet on occasion.


(of course the third one is a metaphor -- do nice things for her, get her small surprise gifts, etc)

[brooksieb]

no, women shud obey by these 3 rules,

1. COOKING
2. CLEANING
3. CHILD CARE

that will win my heart anyday! = )

[brooksieb]

the 3 C's

[apey]

well at lest u don't expect to get laid

[ignotus]

well at lest u don't expect to get laid

He is counting on alcohol + GHB combination...

[muy_thaiguy]

1. Don't make them mad, they will get some innocent guy involved in it.

2. If they say,"I hate my hair," while you are getting ready to go to a party or something, let the people know you won't be able to make.

3. Last, but not least, if she ain't happy, you ain't happy.

[apey]

wow muy you know your women rules

[muy_thaiguy]

wow muy you know your women rules

I grew up with my mom and grandmother, and a girl from karate class and became practically like brother and sister (only child and 2 years older), so I know a few things when it comes down to the basics.

[Harijan]

Wife sent these to me at work the other day.

9 WORDS WOMEN USE

(1)Fine:This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2)Five Minutes:If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3)Nothing:This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

(4)Go Ahead:This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

(5)Loud Sigh:This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6)That's Okay:This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7)Thanks:A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says "Thanks a lot" - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say "you're welcome" ... that will bring on a "whatever").

(8)Whatever:Is a women's way of saying F**** YOU!

(9)Don't worry about it, I got it:Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "What's wrong?" For the woman's response refer to # 3.

[apey]

lmao

[ignotus]

Wife sent these to me at work the other day.

9 WORDS WOMEN USE

(1)Fine:This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2)Five Minutes:If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3)Nothing:This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

(4)Go Ahead:This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

(5)Loud Sigh:This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6)That's Okay:This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7)Thanks:A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says "Thanks a lot" - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say "you're welcome" ... that will bring on a "whatever").

(8)Whatever:Is a women's way of saying F**** YOU!

(9)Don't worry about it, I got it:Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "What's wrong?" For the woman's response refer to # 3.

So true! Especially that 5 minutes!

[muy_thaiguy]

Wife sent these to me at work the other day.

9 WORDS WOMEN USE

(1)Fine:This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2)Five Minutes:If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3)Nothing:This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

(4)Go Ahead:This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

(5)Loud Sigh:This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6)That's Okay:This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7)Thanks:A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says "Thanks a lot" - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say "you're welcome" ... that will bring on a "whatever").

(8)Whatever:Is a women's way of saying F**** YOU!

(9)Don't worry about it, I got it:Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "What's wrong?" For the woman's response refer to # 3.

I can testify to those myself.

[suggs]

You learn somethng new everyday. A girl told me today that when women say "they don't want flowers" that means they do want flowers.
I found that fucking depressing, I mean WHAT CHANCE HAVE WE GOT?!

[diddle]

I met a women once.

[suggs]

I met a women once.

Great days, mate

[ignotus]

I met a women once.

Really?

How does she look?

[diddle]

Like a man, but with longer hair and bigger pecks.

And a vagina.

[suggs]

Like a man, but with longer hair and bigger pecks.

And a vagina.

All sounds a bit far fetched. What do they do with their big pecks?

[diddle]

Like a man, but with longer hair and bigger pecks.

And a vagina.

All sounds a bit far fetched. What do they do with their big pecks?

Various things really, feed babies (I'll explain them another day), put plastic in them, feed older men, shave them.

It's like a ritual.

[Coleman]

Chris Rock taught me this...

The only reason your women is ever with you is because she couldn't find someone better.

You ever catch your woman just staring at you?

She's thinking, how did I end up with this ugly broke ass mother fucker!?

Never ever say or start anything when this is happening. Ever. It will go away in a few minutes.

[ParadiceCity9]

Women don't need a driver's license because there's no road between the bedroom and the kitchen.

[Snowpepsi]

You learn somethng new everyday. A girl told me today that when women say "they don't want flowers" that means they do want flowers.
I found that fucking depressing, I mean WHAT CHANCE HAVE WE GOT?!

I really don't want flowers. It took a long time to break my hubby of that. Just give me the money, honey.

[happy2seeyou]

Wife sent these to me at work the other day.

9 WORDS WOMEN USE

(1)Fine:This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2)Five Minutes:If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3)Nothing:This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

(4)Go Ahead:This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

(5)Loud Sigh:This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6)That's Okay:This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7)Thanks:A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says "Thanks a lot" - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say "you're welcome" ... that will bring on a "whatever").

(8)Whatever:Is a women's way of saying F**** YOU!

(9)Don't worry about it, I got it:Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "What's wrong?" For the woman's response refer to # 3.

hahahahahaha

[btownmeggy]

shave them.

[clapper011]

i agree happy!