In case you didn't know, February 12 is the day we celebrate the birth of our Mentor, Charles Darwin! On this fateful day in 1809, a Child was born who would lead all those in the Biological Sciences into Understanding and Goodwill. Using His own neurological faculties, He conceived a notion that would withstand the withering attacks of nonbelievers for decades to realize a foundation of Biological study.
So what should we do on this Glorious Day? Well, the fast is always an important part of the festivities. We starve ourselves in a faithful representation of Natural Selection at work. This culminates in the Feast of the Finches on Feaster Sunday, where we try to use our poorly evolved snouts to break open nuts to attempt to regain some semblance of humanity after our beautiful Anorexia.
Of course, the most important part of Darwin Day is going out into the community and spreading the News of our Origin. Go out and distribute Leaflets to small children and indoctrinate as many people as you can! Picket the funerals of prominent anti-evolutionists using clever signs like "Methicillin-Resistant Staphylococcus aureus hates people who don't believe in evolution," and "Your father was a bonobo!"
But above all, make sure that you have gay sex at least three times today, and convince someone that poor people deserve to die because they are less fit than rich people! Oh... and yay communism!
