SnakeySnakey wrote:I got her screen name today under the pretext of helping her with trigonometry and I decided to give it a shot since she's breaking up with her boyfriend soon.
mybrotherisdu (6:28:38 PM): What's up, this is Nick from trig class.
XXXXXXXXXX (6:30:02 PM): oh heyy nick!
mybrotherisdu (6:30:11 PM): Need any help with math?
mybrotherisdu (6:30:19 PM): Or anything else?
XXXXXXXXXX (6:30:54 PM): nah i get it now
XXXXXXXXXX (6:30:59 PM): thx to you
XXXXXXXXXX (6:31:02 PM): =)
mybrotherisdu (6:31:20 PM): I do what I can.
XXXXXXXXXX (6:32:15 PM): haha
mybrotherisdu (6:32:26 PM): So, what's up?
mybrotherisdu (6:33:09 PM): How was your day? All great, starts off a bit humorous, don't know if you intended that, but it does a bit. Her response is good.mybrotherisdu (6:35:47 PM): Please respond. Not good imo. Doesn't set off a good impression, makes her think you're impatient to talk with her.XXXXXXXXXX (6:35:56 PM): it was good
mybrotherisdu (6:36:56 PM): Is your internet lagging? Most girls aren't too curious on how the internet works, and if it lags a bit, usually don't mind 
XXXXXXXXXX (6:37:00 PM): for a monday atl east
mybrotherisdu (6:37:02 PM): I can help you fix that. It sounds like you're desperate to be able to help her with something to get her attention. Avoid that
Help her when she needs it, don't offer at every slightest opportunity.XXXXXXXXXX (6:37:39 PM): no im just a lil busy atm
mybrotherisdu (6:37:50 PM): Oh, sorry.
XXXXXXXXXX (6:38:12 PM): lol nah its ok
XXXXXXXXXX (6:38:18 PM): nothing major
mybrotherisdu (6:38:26 PM): Oh. Just a little dry, imo.mybrotherisdu (6:45:03 PM): Hey, well btw I passed my driving test today and I'm going to get a car this weekend. Here, you sound like you're trying to brag to get some attention.XXXXXXXXXX (6:45:13 PM): heyy i gtg
mybrotherisdu (6:45:14 PM): In case you ever need a ride somewhere. A bit awkward, but not as bad as some of the others. Get to know her a bit more before you start offering rides, however. You still sound a bit desperate.XXXXXXXXXX (6:45:21 PM): nice talking to you
mybrotherisdu (6:45:23 PM): Oh. Very blunt. Imo, it kinda sounds like you felt like it was the end of the world to have her leave the convo.XXXXXXXXXX (6:45:26 PM): bye
mybrotherisdu (6:45:34 PM): Well I'll see you 7th period tomorrow! Not too bad, I would suggest saying something like, "no problem, I'll see you tomorrow", as it still sounds like it is a big deal she is leaving.XXXXXXXXXX signed off at 6:45:36 PM
Some parts were good like when she "haha"'d at me and thanked me, but at other parts I felt really shaky and awkward. How was it/10?
Edit:
Blue = Good
Red = Bad
Green = Comments, it's constructive criticism, don't take any personally

Just pointing out problems so you'll be able to fix it next time.
Overall, you were extremely awkward about it, I'd make a guess you were probably just about to the point of shaking for worry over it? Trust me, first time is always hard

It takes a bit, but you need to act more natural, you sounded extremely desperate, and that's probably the worst thing to come across as.
Be more casual, don't offer assistance for every minor thing, be polite, and be curious. Ask her how she is, but don't phrase it in ways that makes her think you're prying. You want her to think you're genuinely curious about how she is (which you probably are, at least should be) for no reason than just as a friend, at least until you know her better.
I'd have to say a 4/10, but first time is always hard. Biggest thing is read what you are typing, and look at it, examine it. If it sounds desperate for attention, don't post that (or say it if actually talking to her). Come across casual. Her responses at first were great, but towards the end I'm thinking she could tell you were trying to impress her

And that made her feel awkward. Tbh, I don't think she truly had to go, but was saying that because of how awkward it was getting for her. Don't push so much, give her time.
It can be hard to explain, but if you want, PM me and I can give you actual examples which might be better, to see a comparison.